


Just Me, Only You

by onalona



Series: Just Me, Only You [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec and Maia are lowkey my brotp, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Because the Author is a Cheesy Sap, Confident Magnus Bane, Crush at First Sight, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Everyone is friends, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Self-Esteem Issues, Shy Alec Lightwood, Supportive Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, feels in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:12:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 117,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onalona/pseuds/onalona
Summary: Alec Lightwood is nothing more than a quiet bookstore owner. He has his siblings, he has his friends, and he has his work. And he has a dream, though he hardly has the self-esteem and inspiration to strive for it.Magnus Bane is an up-and-coming fashion designer. He has his friends, he has his books, and he has his work. And he's well on his way to achieving his dream, with his fashion line coming out in just a few months.A chance encounter between the two leaves a mark on both of them. When Alec reads a book recommendation left by a certain glittery man, the two men embark on a journey of love and self-discovery that will leave them deserving of their own love story.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I bet no one is going to read this but may as well try! :D
> 
> If someone is reading this, consider this a prologue. Hope you enjoy!

“For the last time Alec, we are not playing fucking pictionary,” Izzy chuckles as she sips her margarita, swaying on the spot. Alec rolls his eyes as he hears a chorus of agreements to Izzy’s statement rise around him.

“Didn’t we play that last time?” Clary asks as she sits on the couch, her drunken gaze glancing between Alec and Jace, squinting as if trying to remember. Jace, who sits next to her, puts a hand on Clary’s shoulder, though to help support her or to just help himself stay upright, Alec can’t tell.

“Yeah man, we played pictionary last time. And it’s boring,” Jace slurs, dragging out the “o” in “boring” and laughing giddily at that. Pretty much after that, Izzy and Clary join, gasping with laughter. Alec shakes his head.

_Why do these idiots always manage to get so drunk before game night has even started?_

As if he can hear Alec’s thoughts, Simon interrupts. “Actually I think we did monopoly last time. I’d personally be up for pictionary.” Alec’s mouth quirks up, silently feeling thankful that at least one other person is of sound mind, and he slaps Simon on the back in gratitude for the solidarity. The guy is his little sister’s boyfriend, and by all means and accounts he should dislike the guy, but Simon is too likeable and agreeable to ever dislike.

“But pictionary won’t work! Teams would be uneven,” Izzy whines, stumbling towards Simon before letting herself practically fall into his hold. “Come on Simon, Cluedo would be better, right?” Simon shrugs, but before he can retort in any way, Izzy grabs him by the front of his t-shirt and kisses him hard.

When Simon breaks away, his gaze looks a little dazed. He looks at Alec and shrugs. “She has a point.”

“Fine, I concede,” Alec puts his hands up in mock surrender, causing Clary and Jace to giggle from their spot on the couch. Izzy and Simon seem to be in their own little world. “Cluedo it is.”

The five of them sit around on the floor, forming a small circle as Alec brings out the game board. He can’t help but wonder how any deductive reasoning will be achieved with three of them already totally wasted. The game goes far longer than it should, though Alec can’t tell if it’s because Clary and Jace can barely string two words together, or because Izzy and Simon find every opportunity to make-out.

It’s become a tradition at this point, this ragtag family coming together every fortnight on a Friday night for game night. No matter how busy they get, they always find time for game night. Considering he usually works on Saturday mornings, Alec is usually the most sober one at these events. It usually doesn’t help him when he sees himself surrounded by the two most affectionate couples on the planet.

Couples that become _way_ more affectionate after a few shots of alcohol.

Somehow, despite her inebriation, Izzy manages to win Cluedo after what feels like hours. “This is why she was so desperate to play it,” Jace mumbles, sulking, after Izzy is declared the winner. Laughing, she throws her arms up wildly as she downs the rest of her millionth margarita and kisses Simon on the cheek. He just smiles brightly, almost as if he himself had just won.

When Alec checks his phone after Cluedo and realises it’s already past midnight, he begins the process of cleanup. Simon helps out, but the other three are much too drunk to be of much help. Jace stumbles from the couch in an attempt to help, and instead ends up doubled-over. Alec can only remember the time a few months ago when Jace had been so drunk he had thrown up all over his new rug, and he pushes his brother back onto the couch without a word.

Soon after, Simon and Izzy leave the apartment, Izzy still hollering about her victory whilst Simon just chuckles, propping her up with an arm around her waist as he salutes everyone before they both back out of Alec’s apartment. Alec is not so worried about them, considering Simon still doesn’t seem very drunk, though he decides to call a cab for Clary and Jace to take them back to their place.

“You know, if you brought someone along to game night, it would solve the whole uneven team thing and we’d play pictionary,” Clary suddenly blurts as the three of them wait in the living room.

“That’s true,” this is all Alec supplies. He’s far too tired to have this conversation now, especially when Clary and Jace seem far too out of it to even properly discuss this. The whole conversation around relationships is something he has never been well-versed in, even after coming out five years ago. Alec frowns as he stares at a fixed spot on the ground, and he has the odd feeling that Clary and Jace are both looking at him. Before anything else can be said, Alec’s phone beeps, alerting Clary and Jace of their cab.

The three of them get up, with Alec leading the couple towards the front door. As he opens it, he leans against it, hugging his brother and his brother’s fiancée as they both babble on about next game night. Before the two of them slip away to take their cab home, Jace comes close for a moment. Alec tries to ignore the alcoholic stench emanating from his breath.

“We’re serious, you know. If there’s ever anyone you want to bring along, that’s cool,” almost within a moment of clarity, Jace speaks, and with those words, he practically falls into Clary’s embrace as the two leave Alec’s apartment. Alec smirks as he hears garbled shouts of goodbyes from the couple, before he shuts the door. He leans back on it, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

He loves game night. Izzy, Simon, Jace, Clary. After all he’s been through, they’ve always been there for him. They are his family. And he loves seeing all of them, all together, especially with how busy their lives have gotten. But game night always seems to be a bit of a painful reminder. Simon and Izzy have been together for 3 years, Jace and Clary for 4 years, and now they are engaged. And then there’s Alec. Just Alec. All alone.

Just Alec.

~

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that Bane, right?” Ragnor groans as he holds up Magnus’ sketchbook to the light. “Calling me over at 3am for a consultation is just fucking rude.”

“You can insult all you wish after you tell me what you think,” Magnus shrugs. He doesn’t care how much his good friend wants to insult him. A bout of inspiration had struck him just after midnight, and he needed the designs to be checked over by someone experienced other than himself before he submits it all to Imogen tomorrow. Or more like later today. Now, Magnus nurses a drink in his hands, glancing at the nail polish on his nails. Should he change the colour up? This navy blue colour is beginning to look a little old.

“Fine, I’ll admit. You may be a piece of shit, but this design isn’t,” Ragnor frowns at Magnus. “And that means a lot considering I’m grumpy and sleep-deprived, you know.”

“Yes, Ragnor!” Magnus jumps up, setting his glass down and grabbing his good friend by the shoulder. He knows that a description of his design not being “a piece of shit” is the equivalent to praise when it comes from Ragnor. Especially considering how unhappy he is right now. He glances at his friend now, noticing the set of his brow and his tapping foot.

“Oh Ragnor, you know the only reason I would call you up like this is because you love me and this design is needed by today,” Magnus attempts to smile in Ragnor’s direction, though Ragnor just frowns even more. “And I needed the best fashion designer in New York to help me, of course.” Ragnor’s expression softens at that. Magnus chuckles. Appeasing Ragnor’s ego always makes him feel a little better, even though Magnus knows he _himself_ is the best.

“I know what you’re doing, Bane,” Ragnor murmurs as he places the sketchbook back down onto the coffee table. Magnus thinks that Ragnor is talking about appealing to his ego, but Ragnor’s expression shifts into something more serious. “Today’s the day, isn’t it?”

Magnus tries not to dwell on the connotations of Ragnor’s words. He just nods slowly.

“The fact that it’s been a year and -”

“I’m well aware, Ragnor,” Magnus interrupts, because he doesn’t need this discussion now. Any discussion surrounding Camille always leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He’s suffering from sleep deprivation and stress over his meeting later today. The meeting that will determine if he will get a shot at launching his own line or not.

“If you couldn't sleep because you were thinking about it...” Ragnor trails off. Magnus shakes his head, adamant.

“No, of course not,” Magnus tries to explain, though even then, he’s not so sure himself. He couldn’t sleep due to stress from his deadline, he knew that. But a part of Magnus wonders if maybe, subconsciously, he couldn't sleep because of Camille as well.

A year later and she's somehow still ruining his life.

Ragnor just clicks his tongue, but he doesn't continue the subject. Magnus feels grateful for that. It’s one of the best parts of Ragnor. He cuts the bullshit but he also knows when not to push too far.

“Well, I’d love to stay and chat, except I don’t. I’m going to fucking bed now, and you better hope for your own sake that Cat doesn’t wake up,” Ragnor puts a hand up in some kind of wave, before turning away and leaving Magnus’ apartment.

“Go! Run to your precious bed,” Magnus yells in irritation after him. _And your precious wife._ Magnus groans as he grabs the sketchbook from the table and shuts the door behind Ragnor, before practically crumpling onto the floor. He leans his head back against the wood and breathes deeply, clutching the sketchbook to himself.

The grogginess hits him now, and Magnus groans, not even feeling the energy to crawl back to bed. He slowly drags himself along the floor until he reaches the plush couch in the living room, pulling himself up onto it with his sketchbook still held within his grasp. He shifts on the couch, trying to find some position that’s comfortable enough, before he lets his eyes fall shut.

It blows Magnus’ mind that it’s been a year since his terrible relationship with Camille ended so horrifically.

Magnus thinks of how he had been unable to sleep at all for most of the night, and how all he could really do was read a book before he’d been struck with inspiration just after midnight. He thinks about Ragnor, on his way home now to his sleeping wife. He thinks about how later today, he will change the significance of this day. It will no longer be the day where he got his heartbroken, but will be the day that he was officially given the green light for his fashion brand to officially launch. Hopefully.

Magnus thinks all these things as he spirals into sleep. There’s only him now, and he’s suddenly struck with a feeling of loneliness. As sleep pulls him under, he can’t help but think that he’s alone. It’s only him.

Only Magnus.


	2. The Glittery Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the man’s gaze shifts downward and his gaze connects with Alec’s, they both freeze. Alec blushes because he has just managed to get caught staring, and now he’s looking right into those beautiful eyes. The man seems to stop speaking on the phone, his eyes widening. Before Alec can think of ducking his head in embarrassment, the man does something Alec would not ever expect.
> 
> He smirks at him, biting his lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who left a kind comment or a kudos on last chapter, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! I wasn't expecting anyone to read this story and only put it out there because I wanted to try this whole thing out (and because I love Malec). I'm super grateful! <3
> 
> Also, anyone else dead after the S3 premiere? Because I definitely am.
> 
> Just some points going forward:  
> \- I don't have any clue how to run a bookstore or how the fashion industry works, so everything I talk about in those terms will be super general (like REALLY general)  
> \- I live on the other side of the world from New York (Straya mate) so if anything related to New York is wrong, I apologise! That stuff will also be really general  
> \- I have no clue how long this story is going to go for
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Alec sits at his small office, scanning the forms before him and scratching his head. After four years, he finally has enough money from the business to afford hiring someone else, which means he would be freeing up his schedule. Now, Alec thinks he’ll probably hire the person detailed on the form on top of the tiny pile. Her name’s Maia Roberts, and Alec remembers from their brief meeting that she was sweet and a diligent worker. She’s also the applicant with the most experience. He nods to himself, before pulling up his phone and dialling the number at the bottom of Maia’s form.

Maia picks up on the second ring. “Hello?” she asks into the phone.

“Hey Maia, it’s Alec from Elderwood,” Alec introduces. As Alec speaks over the phone regarding schedules and different protocols for working at Elderwood, Alec hears a tinkling sound, indicating the arrival of a potential customer. Alec quickly fumbles his way out of the office, taking the door out so that he is now standing behind the main counter of the store.

Elderwood is small, but it’s Alec’s pride and joy. He bought the store four years ago with an idea in mind and a need for income. Sure, it was small, but he poured his efforts into making it a homey and comfortable space. An array of second-hand books line the walls and the small shelves, and Alec smiles as he notices an older woman casually looking at the wall at the selection of books. As Alec continues to talk about logistics with Maia, he happens to glance out of the glass walls at the front of the store, and his eyes widen.

A man stands on the street, glancing with a baffled expression at his phone. Whilst he holds his phone in one hand, he clutches a large book in the other. His hair is black and gelled up, and he’s wearing the most eccentric outfit - a maroon jacket, skinny black pants and what seems to be a sparkly sequin shirt underneath. The man spins on the spot, tilting his head in apparent confusion as he continues glancing at his phone. Before Alec can stop himself from staring, he notices the man’s eyes widen as he answers his phone. He's facing down the street, and Alec allows himself another moment to stare.

The guy is fucking gorgeous.

Almost as if summoned by Alec’s thoughts, the man turns to face Elderwood. He looks up, and Alec thinks that he must be looking at the sign. Is he asking for directions or something? Maybe he’s using the store as a point of reference. Alec knows he should probably stop staring, but how can he stop now, because he can properly see the man’s face when he faces the store like this and he looks so good. Despite his frown, he looks amazing, and the glittery makeup around his eyes really brings out their golden-brown colour.

When the man’s gaze shifts downward and his gaze connects with Alec’s, they both freeze. Alec blushes because he has just managed to get caught staring, and now he’s looking right into those beautiful eyes. The man seems to stop speaking on the phone, his eyes widening. Before Alec can think of ducking his head in embarrassment, the man does something Alec would not ever expect.

He smirks at him, biting his lip.

Alec feels his cheeks burn and shyly smiles at him, but before anything else can happen, his view of the man is blocked as the older woman stands in front of him, placing two books on the counter. At the same time, Alec hears a muffled “Alec, you still there?” come through the phone from Maia. As quickly as he can, Alec manages to conclude his phone call with Maia and process the lady’s two books at the same time. As he hangs up and gives the lady her bag with her books, Alec quickly checks out the glass wall, hoping to see the glittery man with the golden-brown eyes on the other side.

But he isn’t there.

Alec sighs to himself, trying to stave off the disappointment. Seriously, he saw the man for all of five seconds. Besides, it had seemed from his demeanour that he needed to be somewhere. Maybe even now, the glittery man is running around Williamsburg in confusion, lugging along with him that giant book. The mental image makes Alec chuckle to himself.

To be fair, working somewhere as diverse as Williamsburg means that over the years, Alec has run into his fair share of colourful characters. But none have ever struck him the same way that the glittery man has. Alec finds his mind wandering throughout the day, thinking about what he may be up to.

That is the problem with running into hot strangers. You never have a way of tracking them down.

Deep down, Alec reflects that technically, the glittery man himself knows where Alec works. If he really wanted to...

Alec stops this line of thinking before it really starts. What in the world is he thinking? Maybe Alec seems optimistic because for once, instead of someone glancing away from him in confusion, or misreading his stare in the first place, someone as hot as the glittery man reciprocated his gaze. Alec has never been in a relationship before, a mean feet for someone who is already 26, with his two younger siblings already in serious relationships.

Before he had come out, relationships had always been out of the picture. And after he had come out, life had gotten too busy and work had taken over. The most Alec had ever experienced was a couple of dates.

Sighing loudly, Alec checks the clock on the furthest wall and, noticing it is close to closing time, begins to get ready for closing. He fixes shelves, stacks a few new books up, goes through the cash register. He walks into the office when no customers are inside and does a bit of admin regarding his new timetable with Maia now on board. He sweeps the store, humming quietly to himself as the sun begins to set, casting a hazy glow over New York on this chilly autumn day.

Alec must admit to himself, he feels excited at the prospect of having more free time. With another person working, it means he’ll have more free days than just Sundays without going under, something Alec hasn’t been able to experience ever since Elderwood first opened. As Alec grabs his essentials from the office and does a final sweep of the store before he locks up, he puts in a reminder on his phone that Maia’s first day is Monday. He’ll still need to come in, to show her the ropes and do some admin, but after that, Alec would be able to have all Mondays and Wednesdays off. The thought adds a small spring to Alec’s step as he locks up and walks to the subway station to head home.

When Alec enters his apartment, he slouches onto his couch almost immediately. He glances at his watch, showing the time to be almost 7pm. He grabs the book he’s currently reading from the coffee table in front of his couch and picks up where he last left off.

It’s a mystery novel, and a really trippy one at that. Alec reads of how a body in the morgue has been tampered with, eyes widening in apprehension. He likes this, free time that allows him to let go of all the worries in his life and just read. Ever since he was little, reading has always been some kind of escape for him.

Shaking his head, Alec glances at his watch. It’s almost 8.30pm, and Alec jumps off the couch. He quickly makes his way to the kitchen and heats up some leftover pasta from game night the previous night. He’s lucky he managed to catch himself. One time, he forgot about dinner entirely, too wrapped up in his favourite fantasy series of the time, that he missed getting dinner entirely, but woke up at 4am with an empty stomach and the unresolved emotions one feels from a cliffhanger. Laughing quietly to himself at the memory, Alec grabs a seat at the kitchen island and shovels down his food. As he does so, his eyes drift towards his laptop, sitting closed right in front of him. He tilts his head to the side as he chews thoughtfully.

Surely, now that he’ll have more free time available, this might be his chance to actually do it? His laptop sits there, almost like an unspoken promise, and a million different possibilities fly through Alec’s head. He reaches forward, hand hovering just above where it sits.

A shrill ring cuts through the quiet night, jolting Alec as he searches for the source of the noise. He gets off the stool in the kitchen and pads over to the living room coffee table, where his phone sits. He picks it up as it continues to ring, and he notices that the caller ID reads out Jace. Alec taps answer, propping the phone between his ear and shoulder as he makes his way back into the kitchen.

“Hello?” Alec speaks into the phone whilst simultaneously washing up his plate from dinner.

“Alec!” Jace shouts from the other side of the phone. “Just wondering if you’re free right now. Simon’s band is playing at Pandemonium soon.”

Alec furrows his brow as he finishes cleaning up in the kitchen, drying his hand with a tea towel before grabbing his phone properly with his hand. “I thought he was playing next week.”

“Yeah, we thought so too, but Clary just got a call that the band that was supposed to play this week couldn’t make it. So Rock Solid Panda is taking over,” Jace responds.

Alec shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve got a lot of admin work to do because I just hired a new employee and I got to work out a lot of stuff with that.”

“Wait, really? That’s awesome Alec!” Jace cheers. “More free time is always good. But seriously, you sure you can’t do that admin tomorrow? This can be a way to celebrate.”

Alec sits down on the stool again. He thinks to himself about what to do. Jace does have a point, he could easily do some admin tomorrow in regards to Maia. And Pandemonium is pretty tame for a bar. Simon’s band, with it’s ever-changing name, has played there quite a few times, much to the bemusement of everyone else. And Alec has to admit, the music is actually pretty good.

It sounds like a nice change-of-pace, and Jace is right. Alec does want to celebrate. It’s not often that they’re all free on an evening, aside from their game nights. He wants to meet with his siblings and his friends and enjoy some music. Even if it means Alec will, once again, play the fifth wheel.

Grabbing his wallet and keys, Alec chuckles into the phone. “Alright, what time are we meeting?”

~

“So, you guys aren’t Rock Solid Panda anymore?” Jace questions, taking a swig of his beer. Simon shakes his head.

“Dude, Rock Solid Panda was our name two weeks ago. Then it became Champagne Enema. And then Millenium Lint. Right now, Maureen and I are trying to decide between Ambidextrous Biscotti and Midnight Burrito,” Simon explains, in a way that implies that this should be common knowledge among the five of them. Almost simultaneously, Clary and Izzy roll their eyes.

“I’m sensing a common theme of food?” Clary questions, her eyebrows raised as she sips her own drink. Simon chuckles.

“You know me too well Fray,” Simon shoots back. Izzy just playfully whacks him on the head, and Simon feigns pain as he rubs at his head ruefully. Before he can retort, someone further away must call for Simon, because he gets up and excuses himself to go.

Alec observes the conversation like he always does, not one to take to conversations easily. Not that he minds very much. His friends and siblings have interesting enough conversations where Alec is content with just listening.

Izzy turns to face Alec, a small smile on her face. “How about you, big brother? Anything interesting happen to you?” For a bizarre moment, Alec thinks about the glittery man again, and he shakes his head firmly, as if to shake the memory from his mind. But he doesn’t have the time to compose his thoughts and say something, because Izzy continues. “Because I only found out through Jace that you managed to hire someone for your store.”

“It only got finalised today,” Alec says by a way of explanation. “But yeah, it’ll be great to have some more free time.”

Izzy’s teasing smile melts into something softer. “I’m happy for you, Alec. Considering how hard you’ve worked over the years, this will be good for you.”

“Yeah Alec, this is awesome,” Clary chimes in.

“Yeah! And now, I can drag you to my gym without you having an excuse,” Jace beams across the table.

“Nevermind. Firing her right now,” Alec makes a motion to grab his phone, eliciting a laugh from the girls and causing Jace to frown.

Jace bought the run-down space two years ago, and has since converted it into a spacious gym. It’s been pretty successful, and truth-be-told, Alec never minds going with his brother. It brings back the memories of when he, Jace and Izzy had mixed martial arts lessons as little kids. Usually, he can’t go when he’s invited because work really does keep him busy. The only real problem with Jace’s gym is that Jace gets too far into it himself, with their trips often leaving Alec tired and sore for days afterwards.

Before anyone else can say anything else, a loud voice booms throughout the bar. “And now, Ambidextrous Burrito!”

Alec can mentally hear Simon cursing over being mislabeled, judging by Simon’s expression. And the way that he seems to mouth “midnight” up on stage. They managed to claim a booth very close to the stage area, as per tradition whenever Simon has a gig. Now, the four of them settle into their seats as Simon begins to play.

Alec would never outright tell this to Simon, for fear of inflating his ego. But the music that Ambidextrous Midnight, or whatever, plays is always very pleasing to listen to. It’s the kind of music that really takes you to a different place when you listen. Kind-of like books.

Glancing at his little sister, Alec chuckles. Izzy is enraptured by Simon up on stage, mouthing along to the words of the songs. Of course she’s memorised all of them basically. It’s like she’s reciprocating the look that Simon gives her all the time, in these kind of moments. That starstruck, I’m-in-love look.

Alec sighs to himself. He can’t help but wonder if, maybe one day, he’ll be able to relate.

When they finish their set, the four of them clap, Jace comically hollering out “Yeah Lewis!” At this point, he’s definitely a little tipsy, something that Alec had expected. Simon shoots an appreciative look towards their booth, before putting his mouth near the mic again.

“We are Midnight Burrito, and we bid you goodnight!” Simon emphasises the “midnight,” to Maureen’s apparent irritation, before they both walk off the little platform. After hugging Maureen and saying goodbye to her, Simon immediately rushes up to their table, planting a quick kiss on Izzy’s cheek, before sitting back down.

“What did you guys think?” Simon asks as he grabs his drink that he left from before, taking a quick swig of it.

“Life-changing. Poetry in motion,” Jace teases, chuckling.

“Good job Simon,” Clary cheers, smiling brightly. “Ambidextrous Burrito did amazingly.” She’s teasing too, drawing out the word “ambidextrous,” much to Simon’s irritation. Alec is pretty sure he hears Simon mumble something along the lines of "it's midnight."

“You did great, Simon,” Izzy laughs. Almost unconsciously, Simon puts an arm around her and grins.

“What did you think Alec?” Simon asks.

It suddenly strikes Alec that he never really seems to talk unless directly spoken to.

“Ah, as Jace said. Life-changing,” Alec supplies. Better than to spiel about his personal introspection during Simon’s performance. As Simon nods thoughtfully to this, a small smile on his face, Clary checks her phone, and abruptly straightens.

“Ah, Jace, we gotta go,” Clary practically hauls Jace to his feet, an image that is surprisingly hilarious due to her small stature. “Sorry guys, we’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning. Wedding stuff. We’ll see you guys later, ok?”

“We have a meeting?” Jace questions, bewildered, as Clary drags him to the exit of Pandemonium. They both shout their goodbyes as they make their way out.

This just leaves Simon, Izzy and Alec.

Alec can’t decide what situation is better. Being a fifth wheel, or being a third wheel.

Simon just smiles a little drunkenly in Izzy’s direction, and they start kissing right in front of Alec.

Fifth. Being a fifth wheel is infinitely better. Uncomfortable, Alec takes a swig of his drink. The clinking sound of his bottle brings Simon and Izzy back to Earth, and they break apart.

“Oh Simon, Alec just hired a new employee at Elderwood today,” Izzy explains.

“That’s great Alec,” Simon smiles. “More free time is always a bonus, right?”

Alec just chuckles. “Yeah, I’m definitely excited about it.”

Izzy’s gaze shifts into something that Alec would probably describe as quizzical, and she tilts her head with an expression of focus. Then she jolts, as if she’s been electrocuted.

“Alec, you can start properly dating now that you have more free time!” Izzy squeals, as if it’s the best idea in the world. Alec can’t help but wonder if somehow, Izzy was able to read his mind whilst they had watched Simon perform.

“And I would do this because?” Alec sighs, because somehow, once again this week, they’re back on the topic of relationships.

“Because it’ll help you not look as miserable all the time,” Izzy states matter-of-factly. Alec marvels at how straightforward she becomes after a few drinks. “And honestly, big brother, you deserve it.”

Alec just hums to himself, tapping his fingers on the bottle of his beer. And then, because he loves to torture himself, his mind drifts back to the glittery man from earlier in the morning.

Why does he hold such a fascination for him? If Alec is being realistic, he only saw the man for, what, 10 seconds? 20? But there was something about him. Maybe it was the glitter. Or those golden-brown eyes of his. Or the way he smirked at him when he caught Alec staring at him.

“Hello? Earth to Alec?” Izzy snaps her fingers in front of Alec’s face, jolting him out of his reverie. “If the thought is that off-putting, then don’t worry about it.”

And Alec just slumps into his seat, because what else can he say? That’s he’s obsessed over a stranger he saw for only a moment?

No. Alec would rather bear the brunt of being the third wheel than say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	3. Tall, Dark and Handsome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus feels reassured. And he can't help but feel that something about this is... different. He doesn't know how he can possibly come to any sort of conclusion like this, especially considering the circumstances, but for some reason, beyond what Magnus understands, he feels determined.
> 
> For the first time in a while, Magnus allows himself the luxury of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently dead after 3x02.
> 
> But I will resurrect myself for a brief moment to say thank you for all the kind comments and kudos for last chapter! They all warm my heart, no joke <3
> 
> Enjoy the chapter. There's not too much happening this chapter, but it's Magnus Bane and his gang, so who can complain? And good things come to those who wait :D

Magnus bites his lip in anticipation as he observes Imogen Herondale as she scans through the sketchbook. Her expression doesn’t give away anything, something that unnerves Magnus. He seriously can’t figure out what she thinks, though Magnus can’t help but think that this has always been the case.

Dubbed “The Inquisitor,” Imogen Herondale is a tough critic. She’s known for asking a million questions, and it’s very difficult to get approved by her. She’s infamous, in certain circles, of her harshness, and some people believe that it’s physically impossible for her to smile.

Objectively, Magnus knows the designs are good. He has enough self-confidence to believe in that. But now, as Imogen appraises his work, he can’t help but worry. The sleep deprivation and stress has mounted over the past few weeks, all leading to this now. He needs the designs to be approved, so that work can begin on making his creations a reality in time for his line’s launch in March.

They have to be approved.

Without glancing up from the sketches, Imogen asks “And what inspired you to put forth this line?”

Magnus considers himself prepared as he answers. “Well, Mrs Herondale, I find that men’s fashion is a sector that is often overlooked. And in the changing world that we live in today, I thought that I could put forth a line that reflected that. Basically, it reflects the kinds of clothing I would like.”

Imogen nods in response as she flips a page. The longer that Magnus sits here, the more nervous he gets. It’s been nearly an hour, with Imogen asking questions throughout the entire meeting, and never once glancing up from the book. Magnus has done his research, and he knows that not many people get approved by The Inquisitor. Every moment he sits here, brings Magnus closer and closer to accepting the possibility that this might not happen for him.

“Lots of colour, I notice?” Imogen asks.

“That’s part of the brand. It’s bold and different,” Magnus supplies, trying to gauge Imogen’s reaction. She just nods again, her expression remaining passive. It almost looks like she’s frowning.

Magnus hopes she’s not frowning.

After what feels like a million years, Imogen stands from her desk. Her expression remains stoic, and Magnus braces himself. He shifts in his seat.

Surely he wouldn’t actually be rejected? But Imogen’s face betrays no emotion.

“Congratulations, Magnus Bane,” Imogen finally speaks. Magnus’ eyes widen. “In just a few months, your designs will be launched to the public. BANE will be ready to launch in March next year.”

At that, Magnus beams. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” The gratitude practically pours out of his mouth as he beams at Imogen, standing up quickly and reaching a hand out to shake her hand. She shrugs, gesturing towards the sketchbook sitting on the table between them.

“Very good, very experimental,” Imogen nods. “But I’m warning you Magnus, tardiness will not be acceptable from this point on.”

Magnus nods. “Understood, Mrs Herondale.” At that moment, a young blonde woman walks into the office, carrying a large folder.

“Mrs Herondale, I’ve got the papers you asked for,” Lydia Branwell smiles as she puts a large folder down onto the table.

“Lydia, perfect timing. I’ve just finished my meeting with Magnus Bane. Could you please escort him out?” Imogen gestures to Magnus, and he can’t help but wonder if he’s really imagining that sparkle in her eye. Lydia nods, and walks to hold open the door to let herself and Magnus out.

As soon as they’re out of earshot with Imogen, Lydia whirls on Magnus. “You got it, didn’t you.” She says this as if it’s definitely true, a statement. Magnus just smiles, nodding quickly.

“How did you know?” Magnus asks, as they both begin to walk. Lydia nods back towards the direction of Imogen’s office.

“She said “escort him out” instead of “get them out of here” which indicates she’s in a good mood,” Lydia explains. “And also, you’re Magnus Bane. I knew you had it the moment you suggested the idea to me.”

“I appreciate the support Lydia,” Magnus laughs. “That woman needs to learn how to crack a smile though.”

Lydia just chuckles at that. “Well, she wasn’t in a great mood when you turned up 20 minutes late.”

“How was I to know you had moved office to Williamsburg?” Magnus asks, recalling the stress he had felt in the morning as he had spent his morning running around Williamsburg, Ragnor on the other end of the phone trying to direct him.

Magnus chuckles as he remembers something particularly interesting from the morning. How he had found himself lost, had called Ragnor, and had ended up catching the eye of the most gorgeous guy Magnus had ever seen. Tall, dark and handsome must’ve been staring at him for a while, and Magnus can’t help but smile at the memory of the guy blushing and smiling from his position inside that bookstore when Magnus had caught him.

Shaking his head, Magnus tilts his head. “Sorry, what?” he asks, because Lydia had just said something and he totally missed it.

“I said, if you had checked your emails this morning, you would’ve known,” Lydia rolls her eyes. “You really need to stop zoning out like that.”

Magnus just shrugs. “I need a nap.”

Lydia smirks at that. “Don’t think just because you’ve got the official green light that things are going to ease up. Because they’re not. Especially with Mrs Herondale.” 

Magnus pouts in Lydia’s direction, and at that, Lydia rolls her eyes, her expression softening.

“But you’ve done well, Magnus. Really, you have. Mrs Herondale has the sketchbook now to go over things. Please, stop looking at me like that and go relax for the rest of today,” Lydia sighs, as if relenting under the gaze of Magnus’ pout. “I’m emailing you tomorrow about the plan going forward. Please read it.” And with that, she stoically pats Magnus on the shoulder and walks off, leaving Magnus at the entrance of the building by himself.

Magnus closes his eyes, and allows himself a moment to really soak it in. In a few months, he’ll be presenting pieces on the runway for his own brand. He honestly cannot believe it. And for the first time in a while, he finally feels like he can relax. Taking a deep breath, he takes out his phone and dials Ragnor’s number. It goes straight to voicemail, which Magnus understands. It’s 11am on a Monday. Magnus leaves a short voicemail detailing his approval for his fashion line and his excitement. After that, he chances calling Raphael.

He picks up after a few rings. “Magnus?”

“Raphael, you won’t believe what just happened,” Magnus rambles into the phone about his morning, whilst Raphael quietly listens. He doesn’t say anything as Magnus speaks. If it were anyone else, Magnus would think they would’ve disconnected, but Magnus knows his friend, and knows that he usually doesn’t speak much, especially if he’s just listening.

After finishing his spiel about his morning, Raphael just groans.

“Good for you Magnus,” Raphael sighs. “Is that all?”

“I know you’re actually very happy for me, Raphael,” Magnus chuckles into the phone, because even Raphael’s sour attitude can’t dampen his mood. “I bet you’re not even frowning on the other side of the phone. Am I right?”

Raphael just groans. “I’m going back to sleep now.” And with that, he hangs up.

Magnus rolls his eyes to himself as he pockets his phone. Trust Raphael to still be sleeping at 11am. The guy is practically nocturnal, Magnus can’t help but think to himself. But Magnus knows that this is just one of the perks of Raphael’s stay-at-home job. Magnus wonders, if it weren’t for Catarina, Ragnor and himself, if Raphael would even leave the house unless necessary.

As Magnus walks out of the building, he contemplates contacting Catarina with the good news before determining that calling her would probably lead to voicemail. She’s probably running around the emergency room right now. Magnus has to admit, her work hours are gruelling, but Catarina loves being a nurse and Magnus knows that his old friend would never pick any other occupation if she had the choice.

As Magnus makes his way to the subway station, his mind wanders back to the mystery man. He questions if maybe he should detour to try and find that bookstore again. Magnus clicks his tongue as he tries to recall the name of the store. Sadly, the name escapes him now, though Magnus probably has to blame the stress he was feeling in the morning for now.

He should ask Ragnor when he sees him again.

Magnus walks into the subway station and can’t help but wonder why he feels so infatuated by the tall, dark and handsome man. Something about his shyness, in total contradiction to his appearance, makes Magnus feel curious. And man, the guy was so attractive. As he rides the subway home, he turns these thoughts over in his head, still feeling a little high from what has transpired in the morning.

Entering his apartment, Magnus feels a sudden rush of lethargy. He really does need a nap, and for the first time in a long time, he feels like he can finally sleep properly. He trudges along to his bedroom, putting his stuff down on the end table before practically flopping onto his bed. He doesn’t care that he’s wearing uncomfortable clothing, or that he still has his makeup on. Magnus is asleep before his head even hits the pillow.

He is awoken a few hours later to the sound of his phone ringing. Groggily getting up, Magnus rubs at his eyes before grabbing his phone. As he answers the call, he notes that the time is 3 in the afternoon.

“Bane, you fucking did it,” Ragnor’s voice filters through. Magnus sits up in his bed.

“I was sleeping Ragnor,” Magnus mumbles back.

“Now you know how I feel,” Ragnor replies. “Look, I’m trying to congratulate you.”

“Consider me congratulated,” Magnus gets up from the bed and trudges over to the mirror. He looks at himself and sighs loudly. His face looks like a mess, eyeliner and mascara smudged everywhere. He blinks a couple times, running his left hand through his hair as he holds his phone up with his right.

“Look, Cat, Raph and I are taking you out tonight to treat you,” Ragnor admits, straightforward as ever. Magnus gasps in mock surprise.

“Ragnor Fell, organising a social gathering?” Magnus questions. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Ragnor just groans. “Hunter’s Moon at 8.” And with that, he hangs up.

As Magnus blinks away his lethargy, he mentally face-palms. He totally forgot to ask Ragnor about the bookstore name. He shrugs to himself as he looks at himself properly in the mirror. He’ll have to ask when they go out in the evening.

With this in mind, Magnus moves to the bathroom and begins the process of removing his makeup. He finds the task quite mundane and routine, something that grounds him in his busy life. When he’s satisfied with his bare face, he decides to take a quick shower. He knows that he has a while until 8pm, and the Hunter’s Moon is a bar that isn’t very far from Magnus’ apartment, but the shower immediately makes Magnus feel better.

Once he’s out of the bathroom, he moves to his wardrobe to figure out what to wear. After much deliberation, Magnus decides that a gold vest with a dark shirt underneath, paired with ripped black pants, is the perfect outfit choice.

Gold. The colour of winners. Magnus smirks to himself.

He moves slowly, basking in the calmness of the afternoon. He cleans his room, goes to his kitchen and makes himself a cup of tea. Magnus decides to finish that book he had been reading in the early hours of the morning, the book he had been reading before he had been struck with inspiration. Had that really been just over 12 hours ago? The thought seems odd to Magnus as he grabs the book and settles into his couch.

It’s a pretty trippy novel, about a mystery pianist that plays in an apartment block every night. The story cycles through different perspectives of the characters in the apartment building. Magnus is near the end, and believes that finishing the book will be the perfect activity to pass the time until he needs to get ready properly for going out.

A couple of hours later, Magnus is finished. He considers himself content with how the book ended. Maybe not the happiest of endings, but it had closure at least. As he thinks about it, he checks the time. It’s 6.30 now, just enough time for Magnus to do his makeup, eat something quickly, and make his way to the Hunter’s Moon for 8. He gets up, busying himself with putting on his makeup and humming to himself as he eats some leftovers from last night and then makes his way out of the apartment.

The subway trip takes around 25 minutes to get to the Hunter’s Moon, and when he enters, he’s greeted with someone rushing up to him and immediately hugging him.

“You did it, Magnus!” Catarina cheers into Magnus’ ear as she releases him from the hug. Her excitement is obvious, her demeanour so different to the two men that sit at a booth just behind them. Ragnor and Raphael lift their drinks in Magnus’ direction as a sort of salutation, one that Magnus graciously accepts with a nod of his head.

“You’re quite right, Cat,” Magnus chuckles as they move to the booth. It’s rare that all four of them are free, considering Ragnor and Magnus’ unpredictable schedules in their business and Catarina constantly working shifts at the hospital. Even now, Magnus notes that Catarina is still in her nurse scrubs. But seeing his three closest friends here, who have acted as some kind of family for Magnus for years, makes Magnus feel better than he has in weeks.

It helps that they’re all here to celebrate his achievements.

“I bet you’re shaking with jealousy, aren’t you Ragnor?” Magnus quips, sipping on his drink. Ragnor just rolls his eyes.

“At least I know how to read fucking Google Maps,” Ragnor deadpans. He shifts his gaze to Raphael as he explains how lost Magnus had been this morning, freaking out that he would miss his meeting.

“Trust Magnus Bane,” Raphael rolls his eyes, though there’s no real malice behind his words.

Hearing them talk about this morning makes Magnus remember the guy from the bookstore, and he whirls on Ragnor immediately.

“Speaking of which, do you remember the name of the bookstore I was calling from this morning?” Magnus asks. His three friends turn to him, all with mirrored expressions of confusion with raised eyebrows.

“Elderwood,” Ragnor supplies. “And why?”

Never before has Magnus been so thankful for Ragnor’s photographic memory. Magnus just smiles into his drink.

“I need a new book. I’ll drop by on Monday,” Magnus answers cryptically. Raphael just rolls his eyes.

“Magnus, you’ve got the biggest library known to man. You don’t need another book,” Raphael shrugs.

“Wait,” Ragnor holds a hand up. “This isn’t about a new book, is it.” With that, the three of them glance expectantly in Magnus’ direction.

“The guy working there was gorgeous, what can I say,” Magnus shrugs. He’s met with three different reactions.

Ragnor smirks.

Raphael rolls his eyes and snickers, a rare half-smile on his face.

Catarina claps her hands together, beaming.

When Catarina pushes Magnus to explain, he goes into detail about his morning. As he explains, Ragnor’s face suddenly shifts in understanding.

“That’s why you said “who are you?” when I was talking to you on the phone,” Ragnor clicks his fingers. “You were talking about the guy from the bookstore.”

“You do realise you’re acting like a stalker, right?” Raphael inquires as he takes a gulp of his drink. “You saw him for, what, 10 seconds?”

“Consider it love-at-first-sight,” Magnus exaggerates, to which Raphael just sighs.

“No such thing Magnus.”

“Ok, fine. But seriously, the man was gorgeous. He perfectly embodies the whole tall, dark and handsome vibe,” Magnus explains. Raphael and Ragnor roll their eyes, for what feels like the fourth time that night, while Catarina just smiles.

“I think it’s sweet,” Catarina chuckles. “So, what’s your plan? Just turn up on Monday and put your number down?”

“I’m Magnus Bane. I’m sure that would work,” Magnus smirks, downing the rest of his drink in one go. 

Ragnor’s face shifts into an expression Magnus can’t decipher fully. He peers at Magnus, tilting his head to the side.

“You haven’t shown any interest in anyone since Camille,” Ragnor realises out-loud. Magnus’ eyes widen, and as he tries to think back over the past year, he quickly comes to the same resolution as Ragnor has.

The thought is surprisingly reassuring.

“Look, Magnus, if I were you, I’d go for it. Just give it a try,” Catarina sips her drink as she gestures towards Ragnor and Raphael. “Don’t listen to those two. You’ve worked so hard over the past year, just go ahead and give it a shot.”

Magnus smiles from Cat’s supportive words. He feels immensely grateful for her support.

“Hey,” Ragnor puts his hands up, in mock surrender. “I think it’s great that you go for it. You’ve had your walls up for too long, my friend.”

There Ragnor goes again, cutting through the bullshit and telling it straight to Magnus. He can’t help but feel appreciative.

“That’s great and all, but am I the only one who thinks this is weird?” Raphael interjects.

“I’m not going to press my face against the window and act like a lunatic,” Magnus says. “Look, I’ll just swing by whenever I’m free next. I’m not going to do anything creepy. And hey, he might even remember me.”

“Well, not like you’re easy to forget, Magnus,” Ragnor smirks. Cat playfully whacks his arm, reprimanding him silently. “I meant that in a good way!” Ragnor continues.

“Fine, so you’re not stalking,” Raphael concedes. “And this is supposed to be romantic?”

“You can’t find the romance in anything, Raph,” Catarina counters.

At these words, the three of them crack up. Even Raphael cracks a small smile.

And Magnus? Magnus feels reassured. And he can't help but feel that something about this is... different. He doesn't know how he can possibly come to any sort of conclusion like this, especially considering the circumstances, but for some reason, beyond what Magnus understands, he feels determined.

For the first time in a while, Magnus allows himself the luxury of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	4. Legato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has always been a firm believer in the fact that you can learn to understand a person better by looking at what they enjoy reading. The glittery man is no exception.
> 
> Which means, if Alec is right, that there’s much more to the glittery man, behind the makeup and glitter and confidence. And, damn it, no matter how hard he tries to suppress his expectations, tries to reason to himself that this won’t amount to anything, or that he’s being ridiculous, Alec can’t help it.
> 
> If there’s more to the glittery man than meets the eye, Alec wants the chance to uncover it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos so far! Writing and updating this story has definitely become one of the best parts of my week, and I'm glad I have the chance to share it all with you guys!
> 
> One comment pointed out to me that I haven't actually clarified an update schedule. My goal right now is every Wednesday in Aus, though this may be subject to change.
> 
> Lots of things going on this chapter (including some strong Alec/Maia brotp feels), so hope you enjoy! <3

Alec walks into Elderwood at 7am on the dot, humming to himself as he flips the sign to OPEN and walks to his office behind the counter. Dropping his phone, wallet and keys onto the desk, he hunches into the chair and stretches. The weekend had really tired him out, but he’s happy that from this week onwards, he’ll have more free time on his hands. He looks over some paperwork before making his way out of the office and stations himself behind the counter. 

No one comes into the store for the first half hour, something Alec expects, and he smiles as he notices a young curly-haired woman enter the store at exactly 7.30. Alec appreciates the punctuality.

“Maia,” Alec greets, shaking Maia’s hand over the counter. “Great timing.”  
  
“Hi Alec,” Maia chuckles as she retracts her hand. “Can I put my bag in the office?” 

Alec smirks at her straightforwardness, a trait that he can’t help but appreciate. He nods, allowing Maia to step behind the counter.

He spends most of the morning teaching Maia the ropes, though there’s honestly not much to teach, and Maia is a fast learner. Alec shows her the inventory system, how to handle the cash register properly and how to stack the books. By genre, in alphabetical order, as cleanly and neatly as possible. At first, Alec worries that his system might seem a little overboard for someone else, but Maia takes everything in her stride, and by the afternoon, she’s handling customers and stacking shelves like a natural. 

At around 1pm, Alec offers to Maia that he treat them both to some lunch. Maia accepts the offer, citing how she doesn’t know Williamsburg very well, and, as she puts so eloquently to Alec, “how can I turn down free food?” Alec trusts that Maia can handle herself, and she holds herself with some kind of defiant confidence that makes Alec think how he would never wish to make an enemy out of her.

Alec goes to his favourite little restaurant, a small Vietnamese place, and orders some takeaway rice-paper rolls. He chances a guess that Maia will appreciate any kind of meat, and quickly makes his way back once the order is made.

When he walks in, he finds Maia skillfully processing the purchase of a young woman. Alec can’t help but think how much of a natural she is behind the counter. He definitely made the right choice in hiring her.

“I’m hoping you like rice-paper rolls?” Alec questions as he drops the food on the counter after the woman has left. Maia’s eyes light up at the mention of food, and she nods gratefully. As they both munch on their lunch, Maia suddenly straightens.

“Someone came here while you were getting lunch,” Maia takes a large bite of her roll. “Maybe you know him. I think he was asking for you?”

“Asking for me?” Alec questions, taking a bite of his own lunch. Now he’s intrigued. Nobody ever asks for him. It’s not like he has many friends, and the few friends he does have are all busy at work currently.

“Yeah. This man came in, looking like he was in a rush.  He looked a little lost. And then he was looking around the store for a bit,” Maia recaps as she continues to chew. “And he kept on looking at that display over there.” At this, Maia gestures towards the wall on the left side of the store. Alec follows her gesture with his gaze, sight resting on the particular display in question.

It's a silly little part of the bookstore that Alec has kept more for tradition and sentimentality than for any real function over the years. When the store had just started, the only second-hand books Alec had been able to procure were his own. His first display was placed on this wall, which had basically consisted of some of Alec’s favourite books. Since then, Alec has always put his favourites on this wall. He keeps it updated as much as he can, and even though he knows rationally that no one cares about his tastes specifically, and no customers would ever consider his tastes in terms of what they purchased, Alec still keeps it there. It's a reminder of how Elderwood started, and maintaining that display is something small but significant in Alec’s life. Even if no one pays any specific attention to it.

Except, according to Maia, for this mystery man. The display is small, with a sign reading ELDERWOOD FAVOURITES fixed up at the top.

“He seemed really fixated on that display, and then he walked up to me and asked if they related to me. I told him they were the favourites of the owner,” Maia recounts as she grabs another rice-paper roll. “Since I'm working here now, I can add a few of my own, right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Alec answers, more dismissively than he probably normally would speak if he weren't so absorbed by Maia's story. “Why do you think he knows me?”

“He did the weirdest thing. He grabbed a book from his bag, plonked it here, and told me to give it to the “tall, dark and handsome” owner. His words, not mine. He even put a note on it,” Maia shakes her head as she bites down on another roll. “These are fucking delicious.”

Alec furrows his brow as he thinks over Maia's story. Who could possibly want to give him a book recommendation? It’s so left-field, so random. No one really comes to mind. Alec has always been the only one really out of his friends who’s really passionate about reading. And that description... Alec can’t remember ever being called handsome before, and as he reflects, he can’t really think of anyone who could possibly ever call him that.

Unless...

A thought strikes Alec, and he faces Maia with newfound desperation. It’s a stretch, a real stretch, and Alec is almost certain that he’s fooling himself. Yet, he still asks Maia “How would you describe the man that came in?”

Maia tilts her head to the side, in the midst of trying to remember. “Pretty tall. Really glitzy, had makeup on and everything. His eyes were kind-of amber coloured? And glitter. Lots of glitter.”

Alec’s eyes widen. It’s a spot-on description, and before he knows it, he’s in the office, eyes landing on the book.

“So you do know him,” Maia calls from behind the counter, voice filtering through the ajar door. “It’s fine, I’ll handle everything here.”

“Thank you!” Alec calls back, but all his focus is on the book. He doesn’t know why, but he feels a deep desperation to read it, to figure out some kind of warbled distant connection to the glittery man.

The glittery man that came back. Who came, looking for Alec.

On top of the book sits the note. Alec glances at that first, the first few words immediately grabbing his attention.

_I assume that you, Tall, Dark and Handsome, are the owner of this wonderful store? I'm on a bit of a time crunch, but would you do me the honour of looking at this book? It's a favourite of mine, and considering your excellent taste in literature, I bet this could become a favourite for you too._

_From that glittery man from the street_

_(PS. If you consider this weird and creepy, or if my assumption at the beginning was wrong, by all means, chuck this note and book in the bin)_

Alec laughs to himself, especially at the post script. In total contrast to what it suggests, Alec places the note down gently on the desk before picking up the book. It’s called _Legato,_ a term Alec recognises from music lessons as a kid. He flips to the back of the book and reads the blurb.

It’s about an unknown mystery pianist in downtown Chicago, who plays at exactly 9pm every night out loud for their entire apartment block. It looks dark and trippy, which is exactly Alec’s kind of book, and he can’t help but imagine the glittery man somehow figuring out his tastes almost immediately from perusing the favourites shelf.

And the fact that the glittery man went out of his way to come here, seeking out Alec? The idea brings a smile to his face. And it’s reassuring to Alec.

He wasn’t the only one who felt that instant connection that Saturday morning.

Shaking his head to himself, Alec gets up from the office desk, placing the book and note with his belongings, before coming back outside. When Maia raises an eyebrow in Alec’s direction, he just smiles.

They spend the last few hours of the day attending to customers and chatting about their lives. Alec learns that Maia is studying Marine Biology at university, how she always liked to read as a kid, and how she has an older brother.

“It’s a shame, but we don’t really keep in contact,” Maia muses. “I’m getting the vibe you and your siblings are the exact opposite?”

“Yeah, we’re really close,” Alec refers to Izzy and Jace, a small smile on his face. “We have this game night every second Friday. It’s pretty cool.”

“That’s awesome, actually,” Maia smiles. Before she can add anything else, Alec glances at the clock and straightens, realising it’s time to begin the process of closing.

Alec guides Maia on everything she needs to do and, once again, she picks it up like a natural. Before they know it, the two of them are out of the store and locking up.

“So, you’re all good with Wednesday by yourself?” Alec checks as they make their way to the subway station.

“I mean, the free food will be sorely missed, but I reckon I’ll manage,” Maia smirks.

When they make it to the station, Maia glances at Alec’s hand. He’s clutching onto the book that the glittery man had left behind before.

“Thanks for today Alec. I’ll see you around.” And with that, Maia salutes, and she’s running to catch the subway home. Alec just smiles, before he himself makes his way to his subway home.

When he flops into his apartment later, the first thought Alec has is to crack open this book. He’s curious to see if it’ll measure up to what he thinks in his mind, so he begins to read.

The book immediately grabs his attention, and Alec notices with surprise that every chapter switches to a new perspective. He’s immediately wrapped up in the mystery of it all, and only takes a break from reading to quickly heat up some leftovers from Sunday. As he shovels curry into his mouth, he continues reading, entranced by every word.

He hasn’t been this obsessed over a book in years. Not to the degree where he wants to stay up until the early hours of the morning to finish it. Which is exactly what he does.

When Alec finishes _Legato_ , he checks the time on his phone sitting on his bedside table. It shows to him that it’s 2.41am.

Alec groans to himself. He knows that tomorrow morning, or more like in a few hours, he will regret this poor choice of staying up. But for now, he can’t complain. The ending has enough closure that will allow Alec to not wallow in questions upon questions, and his eyelids droop as he goes to brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas. And man, the book was amazing.

As he settles into bed, Alec’s mind drifts to the glittery man. He has a great taste in literature, very similar to his own, if this book is anything to go by. And the fact that the glittery man came looking for Alec in the first place makes him feel elated.

He barely knows the man, but Alec can’t help but think of golden brown eyes as he drifts off to sleep.

~

Tuesday passes by rather uneventfully for Alec. He’s alone again, something he finds quite odd after spending the day with Maia on Monday. It’s a very quiet day, and Alec spends more time then he would like to admit going back to the book suggested by the glittery man and rereading certain parts he really likes. It’s a difficulty keeping his eyes open, considering the lack-of-sleep, but he manages to get through the day without collapsing.

He tries not to glance expectantly at the door every time someone enters, in hopes of seeing him. He tries to lower his expectations. He tries to not be disappointed when no glittery man ever enters the store that Tuesday.

Key word is tries.

Groaning as he locks up that evening, Alec sighs loudly, rubbing a hand over his face. What did he expect, for the glittery man to waltz in today? To sweep him off his feet? Scratching the back of his neck, Alec begins to walk towards the subway station, thoughts running wild with possibilities.

The glittery man spoke of a time crunch... so maybe he was busy for all of today? Or maybe he was held up somewhere? Maybe he’d been on his way and something had come up -

Alec shakes his head, as if to shake these thoughts away. Maybe the glittery man didn’t want to come again. Maybe he realised it was a mistake in coming in the first place. It’s not like the glittery man left a phone number or any details on his note.

Alec still doesn’t even know the glittery man’s name.

When Alec gets home, the first thing he does is go to have a shower. It helps to clear his head. He has a bit of a habit of dwelling and over-thinking, which really isn’t helping. This, coupled with his tiredness, makes Alec just want to crawl into bed and sleep.

After getting out of the shower and changing, Alec moves to the kitchen to make some dinner. He whips up some stir-fry, which he happily eats in silence. As he eats, Alec eyes his laptop once again. He thinks to himself that technically, tomorrow he has no work. Which means, if he really wants to, he could finally -

But before he can contemplate anything any further, his phone starts ringing. Alec rolls his eyes from the timing, and he grabs it from the counter he sits at and answers. Lo and behold, it’s Jace once again.

“Hey Alec,” Jace greets.

“Hey Jace, what’s up?” Alec questions as he continues to shovel stir-fry into his mouth.

“You didn’t think I was joking about the gym on Saturday, right?” Jace laughs into the phone. Alec groans.

“Jace, I-”

“You said you were free Mondays and Wednesdays, right?” Jace interrupts. Alec can tell from his brother’s tone that it will be very difficult to talk him out of this, or come up with a valid excuse.

“Yes,” Alec sighs into the phone. He may as well already accept defeat.

“Awesome, that means you’re free to come by the gym tomorrow,” Jace concludes. “We got renovated a few weeks ago so it’ll be good for you to check out.”

“If you’re going to rope me into coming, can’t you at least drag Izzy along too?” Alec questions. It’s a valid point to bring up, considering Izzy’s athleticism.

“Already asked her. She’s got work,” Jace explains.

“So when Izzy has work, it’s a valid reason, but when I have work, you call that an excuse?” Alec asks, a hint of incredulity in his tone.

“I’ll meet you there at 11 tomorrow,” Jace avoids the question, making Alec groan.

“Fine,” Alec concedes.

“Awesome! See you then,” and with that, Jace hangs up. With a loud sigh, Alec puts down his phone. Quickly finishing off his stir-fry, he goes to wash up, before deciding to finish that mystery novel that had been interrupted by his marathon-read of _Legato_ the night before.

He’s near the end, which makes Alec feel simultaneously really excited but also sad. It’s always a bittersweet moment, finishing a good book. It’s always a great feeling to finish something, especially if the ending is satisfying. But then the story is over, and you can never go back to those characters again. You have no idea how the story will continue. Sure, it can be left to your imagination, but Alec likes concrete facts and certainties in life. It’s just how he is.

Alec likes rules. Alec likes routine.

So Alec reads. He’s excited at the prospect of being able to sleep-in on a Wednesday, something he hasn’t been able to do in years.

He finishes the book. Shakes his head. Re-reads the last three pages at least five times. Still continues to shake his head.

Well. Can’t help but love a plot twist on the second-last page of the book that basically negates the whole story, leaving the most ambiguous ending.

Running a hand through his hair, Alec gets up and brushes his teeth. He takes the chance in his bathroom to also wash his face. And he can’t help himself.

Alec wonders if the glittery man hates bad endings just as much as he does.

~

“You’re distracted,” Jace states as he lands another jab at Alec’s side. “I can see it from a mile away.”

“What do you mean?” Alec exhales as he swings his leg out. Jace jumps out of the way, smirking.

“Because you’re not landing a single hit,” Jace quips as he dodges a blow from Alec’s left arm. He spins, grabbing his brother by the shoulder and jabbing Alec in the chest. “And I’m landing all of mine.”

“I’m just a little tired,” Alec explains. Jace cocks his head, his expression conveying his irritation at his brother.

They’re currently sparring in a small sectioned-off area of Jace’s gym. Alec has to admit, the place looks a lot more spacious and modern than the last time he had been here. Alec blinks, eyes shifting back into focus as Jace’s hand stops just an inch away from the right side of Alec’s face. Alec shoves the hand away, walking over to where his water bottle sits, and he takes a large gulp of water from it. Jace just frowns.

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” Alec clarifies as Jace walks up next to him to grab his own water bottle. “Sometimes it happens.”

Jace doesn’t say anything else, just nods slowly as he continues to drink. He looks like he’s thinking of something to say, but before he has the chance, a worker comes up to Jace and quietly tells him something. It must be important, because Jace tells Alec that they’ll have to end their session early. He waves to Alec as he grabs his stuff, saying goodbye and apologising before heading off in the direction of the office of the gym.

Alec can’t really say he’s complaining, rubbing his back ruefully as he grabs his belongings off to the side and takes another swig from his water bottle. He knows for a fact that, despite their session getting cut short, Alec will still be sore for the next few days. Jace’s passion for the gym can be obvious to anyone.

And Alec feels pretty proud of his brother. When he had first opened the gym, he had been so excited for some aspects of the job. All the practical aspects of running the business had appealed to his brother. But the managerial aspects? The mundane little tasks that Alec took solace in at his job? At first, Jace had chafed at those responsibilities.

But two years on, Alec is happy to see Jace running all aspects of his gym so well. And this is why Alec doesn’t mind that their session is over for today. Jace taking on his responsibilities and working his hardest is worth it, in Alec’s eyes.

Also, if Alec had been there any longer, he’s pretty sure he would’ve collapsed.

And Jace was right. Alec had been distracted. He still is, as he begins to make his way to his apartment. He could take the subway and get home earlier, but it’s still early afternoon, and Alec would much rather walk to help clear his head.

He had been half-truthful in telling Jace that he hadn’t gotten much sleep the previous night. But it was more than that. He knew that if he had divulged more details to his brother, he would probably be reprimanded for over-thinking things.

Alec can’t help over-thinking sometimes.

He’d been unable to sleep, and unable to focus today, because his mind keeps drifting back to the glittery man. Funny how Alec had only seen him on Saturday for only a moment, and yet Alec already can’t stop thinking about him. And maybe, if nothing else had transpired, Alec could move on. But then, Alec’s mind also drifts to Monday, to book recommendations and mysteries, to glitter and golden brown eyes.

And because of Monday, Alec can’t let go. He’s holding onto hope.

The more he thinks about the glittery man, the more Alec lets his imagination run wild. He barely knows anything about him, except that he’s very eccentric in how he dresses, and he enjoys reading. A rational part of Alec knows this is ridiculous, to infer so much from so little information, but Alec can’t help but think that rationality was thrown out of the window from the moment he saw him.

The glittery man seems like the kind of person who oozes confidence, who has the presence to command a crowd. Alec walks, thinking about charisma and charm and other qualities that seem to be the antithesis of himself.

But then, Alec thinks about that book again. That mind-bending, twisted, intriguing book that had gripped Alec from the very start. Alec has always been a firm believer in the fact that you can learn to understand a person better by looking at what they enjoy reading. The glittery man is no exception.

Which means, if Alec is right, that there’s much more to the glittery man, behind the makeup and glitter and confidence. And, damn it, no matter how hard he tries to suppress his expectations, tries to reason to himself that this won’t amount to anything, or that he’s being ridiculous, Alec can’t help it.

If there’s more to the glittery man than meets the eye, Alec wants the chance to uncover it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3
> 
> PS. Four words for 3x03: Maryse Lightwood Character Development :D


	5. Seeing Eye-To-Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the strangest feeling. Magnus feels the innate sense that he has to meet Tall, Dark and Handsome properly. The idea of not trying to find him again fills him with a looming sense of regret and fear, something Magnus has never really felt before.
> 
> Magnus knows there’s a chance he could be wrong. Maybe Tall, Dark and Handsome is completely different to what he thinks. But Magnus knows that, without properly meeting him, he’ll never know for sure.
> 
> Call it destiny, or fate, or whatever higher power. Magnus knows he needs to meet him properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how I literally just established an update schedule last time, and then broke it. But I'm uploading this early because it's really short, but this chapter is setting up the next one, which will be really important ;)
> 
> Also, I changed the rating to M preemptively for the future, just to give y'all a heads up.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the kind comments and kudos so far! <3 Enjoy the chapter!

“So you’re telling me that after all that, you didn’t even think to leave a phone number?” Raphael, who normally sounds so composed, sounds incredulous now, and it just makes Magnus feel even more irritated with himself.

“I was rushing, alright? I panicked when I saw he wasn’t there, and the thought just didn’t occur to me,” Magnus gestures with his hands as he explains. “Blame the stress for my lack of common sense, ok? And since when do you lecture me?”

“This isn’t a lecture. This is me marvelling at how ridiculous you are,” Raphael shakes his head.

It’s Tuesday evening, and Raphael sits on the couch in Magnus’ apartment whilst Magnus stands before him. It’s the first time Magnus has had a break since he went to Elderwood the day before, and after detailing what happened to Raphael, Magnus had found himself immediately being scrutinised.

“And, of all things, you left him a _book_? With a note?” Raphael laughs shortly. “That, my friend, really is a stalker move.”

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Magnus counters, though even then, he can’t help but wonder if he made the right decision. That book was one of his favourites, and he had been re-reading it on the subway trip. At the time, leaving the book had seemed like a romantic gesture. The allure of Elderwood itself was in the great selection Magnus briefly saw when he had arrived, some of which had been based on Tall, Dark and Handsome’s tastes.

Magnus recalls that fateful Monday, and upon reevaluation of how he acted, he can’t help but feel a little silly. When he had entered, all prepared to seduce Tall, Dark and Handsome, he had been met with the sight of a feisty-looking young woman behind the counter instead. A short woman with curly brown hair, who definitely had not been working on Saturday.

It had totally unnerved Magnus. Not that he would ever fully admit this to Raphael, or anyone in general.

And instead of doing what any sane person normally would, such as inquiring about Tall, Dark and Handsome, Magnus had only been able to hold awkward conversation about the books in the store. Including that little favourites section near the back.

Magnus had operated under the assumption that the owner of Elderwood and Tall, Dark and Handsome were one and the same. So, instead of acting rationally, he had dropped off his own book.

Isn’t a book recommendation considered really sweet? But now, as he looks back on what he did, and what he wrote, Magnus can’t help but facepalm in disbelief with his own stupidity. “Actually, I’m not sure,” Magnus adds.

“And you met the other worker, right?” Raphael asks. Magnus nods.

“Yeah, Maia,” Magnus replies.

“And you didn’t think for a second to ask Maia about your mystery man?” Raphael questions. Magnus’ eyes widen.

“What happened to my common sense?” Magnus broods, his arms gesturing wildly in irritation. Raphael’s gaze shifts from confusion to something Magnus can’t truly place.

“Look, it’s understandable Magnus. You’re under a lot of stress right now,” Raphael gets up from the couch, patting Magnus on the shoulder. Magnus nods at that. Since preparations have started for the line release, Magnus has been ambushed with initial meetings and consultations. He’s been told that it’ll be really busy at the beginning and near the end. Magnus knows he just needs to ride out all the administrative stuff first before they can get to the good stuff.

“Since when do you console me?” Magnus teases, though there’s no real harshness behind his words. Raphael just shrugs.

“After everything you’ve been through Magnus, you deserve something good,” Raphael says sincerely, which seriously blows Magnus away. “Try going again tomorrow. This time, try not to be a dumb idiot. And don’t panic and leave a book behind this time. That’s just weird”

“I thought that you thought I was being unromantic and that I’m acting like a stalker,” Magnus quips.

“And yet I have the feeling that if I told you that, you would go anyway,” Raphael jokes. “I know you too well, Magnus. Anyways, I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you.” And with that, Raphael quietly slips out of Magnus’ apartment.

Magnus reflects on Raphael’s words as he makes himself a drink. Raphael is right. Despite Magnus’ concerns, he feels the need to go to the store again. He just needs to see him again, properly. Learn his name. Talk to him. Maybe even ask him out.

It’s the strangest feeling. Magnus feels the innate sense that he has to meet Tall, Dark and Handsome properly. The idea of not trying to find him again fills him with a looming sense of regret and fear, something Magnus has never really felt before. It’s so weird to think, because in any other scenario, Magnus knows he would probably just give up.

Maybe it’s because there’s more to Tall, Dark and Handsome than his pretty face. Something about his shy demeanour. And those expressive hazel eyes of his. And the store, Elderwood, is a lovely little gem. So many different books, quite a few that Magnus has in his own library at home.

You can’t help but learn something about someone based on the books they read.

Magnus knows there’s a chance he could be wrong. Maybe Tall, Dark and Handsome is completely different to what he thinks. But Magnus knows that, without properly meeting him, he’ll never know for sure.

Resolution grows within Magnus. He’ll try again. He has four meetings on Wednesday, so it may be impossible to go tomorrow. Whipping out his phone, Magnus checks the email from Lydia again.

He’s booked out Thursday as well. But Friday, he has the afternoon free.

Magnus nods to himself. He’ll try one more time. For his own sake.

Call it destiny, or fate, or whatever higher power. Magnus knows he needs to meet him properly.

~

“So we’re all on board with March 20th for the release?” Lydia questions. Magnus nods. Around the table, everyone else voices their assent.

“Great, thank you everybody,” and with that, Lydia disbands the meeting. The others all begin to clear their stuff and file out of the room, eventually just leaving Lydia and Magnus in the meeting room. Lydia shakes her head.

“That honestly took longer than I thought it would,” Lydia sighs, tightening her ponytail. “Raj always seems to have a problem with everything though.”

“He was being quite unpleasant,” Magnus recalls. “But it’s been sorted and everyone agrees now so this will be good.”

“Anyways, I’m glad that meeting is over,” Lydia sighs as she grabs her own things and makes her way to the door out of the meeting room. “I’ve got another one to head to now, but I’ll see you later. Go take a break, you’ve been at it non-stop since Wednesday.”

Magnus just chuckles. “Yes ma’am,” Magnus laughs as he takes his things with him, and makes his way out of the meeting room.

The good thing is that the Herondale Institute Fashion building is a short walk from Elderwood, and now that it’s Friday afternoon, Magnus has the chance to stop by the store.

As he walks out of the building, Magnus gives himself a moment to look back and take a deep breath. Things have been hectic and it's only been the first week, but with most of the administrative stuff out of the way, Magnus will have a little more free time as the weeks go on. He can't believe that in just a few months, he’ll finally achieve something he has always dreamed of.

A brand to call his own.

Walking down the pathways, recalling Ragnor’s directions, and with a little assistance from Google Maps (though Magnus still doesn’t seem to know how to operate it properly), Magnus ventures further into Williamsburg before coming to the main street. Every step makes Magnus feel more and more uneasy.

Maybe this is ridiculous. Magnus knows that, rationally, this makes no sense. For all he knows, Tall, Dark and Handsome could've thrown out the book and his note the second he saw it. What if he thinks Magnus is a creep? What if he's not working again today? What if he doesn't even remember Magnus?

Or worse, what if he does remember, but he doesn’t care?

Magnus has enough self-awareness to note, somewhere in his mind, that he's normally not like this. Where's the self-confidence? It's odd for Magnus to feel so unsure, though considering how random this situation is, Magnus can't help but feel nervous.

But underneath all that, Magnus feels determined. He can't explain to himself, but he knows he has to try and meet this man properly. The first person he's felt anything towards since Camille.

That fact alone must account for something, right?

As Magnus approaches the familiar storefront, the jumble of thoughts in his mind quieten. Slowing to a stop, Magnus can't help but recall how, only just a few days ago, he had stood in front of Elderwood for entirely different reasons. The thought is odd yet comforting.

Magnus Bane can handle whatever the fuck the world wants to throw at him. He handled his meeting last Saturday. Now, he’ll handle this crush. Or whatever it is. And this time, instead of acting like an idiot, he’ll be composed and calm.

His heart sinks when he looks in and he sees nobody inside. Yet the sign out the front says the store is open. The lights are on and it looks like the place is open. There aren’t any customers inside, and Magnus can’t decide if he considers that a good or bad thing.

Magnus shrugs to himself, pushing open the door, and he smiles as he hears a small tinkling sound of a bell, signalling his entrance.

Elderwood itself is a wonderful store. So what does Magnus have to lose? Even if Tall, Dark and Handsome isn't here, the store itself really is a nice place to lose yourself. Maybe instead of doing the weird thing of dropping a book off at a bookstore, Magnus can find a book to buy for himself. He hasn't really had a chance to read over the past week, so it'll be good to try finding something new.

Magnus is trying _very hard_ to not dwell on the real reason he’s here.

“Sorry, be out in just a second,” an unfamiliar voice filters through from behind the door on the other side of the counter. Magnus stops his walking, because the voice is distinctly male, sounding so hesitant, so distant.

Magnus takes a deep breath, trying not to get his hopes up. It’s not Maia, Magnus can infer, but he doesn’t want to be too optimistic. So, he focuses on the wall ahead of him. Maia wasn't lying when she said second-hand. A couple of the books look like they're barely holding together, and many of the other volumes on the wall look weathered and beaten. But something about that makes them more intriguing to Magnus than new books. Like each second-hand copy holds not only their own story, but the story of how they managed to get here.

Almost without even thinking, Magnus drifts towards the back of the store again, where he’s faced with that one display on the left wall he remembered from his last visit. ELDERWOOD FAVOURITES. Magnus chuckles as he reflects on his ridiculous behaviour from Monday. He glances at the books, many that he recognises from the last time he came. And majority of them, Magnus has read himself. He sees mysteries, thrillers, dramas. Love stories and sci-fi fantasies. Magnus shakes his head to himself.

If he didn’t know any better, Magnus would think this display came from his own library at home. He owns most of the books in this collection back at home. _Corruption_ by Lorenzo Rey, _Reach Out_ by Elliot Nourse, _Legato_ by Dorothea Rollins -

Wait, what?

Magnus does a double take as he notices, in the very centre of the display, his own copy of _Legato_. Magnus shakes his head, confusion manifesting in his head. He left his copy of _Legato_ here on Monday. And Magnus knows this is his copy. He sees the familiar cracks on the spine, the weathered bottom right corner of the front cover, that tell of Magnus’ love for this story. This copy speaks of endless nights reading and re-reading, of feelings of shock and joy and fear over what happens in that book. One of his favourites.

And now, Magnus can’t help but grin at the thought that, now, this book is a favourite, here at Elderwood. The copy that Magnus had suggested in such a ridiculous manner to Tall, Dark and Handsome, was here. Which means, if Magnus is right, and if he allows himself to be optimistic, that maybe, the book recommendation hadn’t been as unsuccessful of an idea as Magnus had originally thought.

Wait until Raphael hears about this, Magnus thinks to himself.

“Sorry about that. Did you need help with anything?” The voice is back again, clearer now, and deeper, speaking from behind Magnus and shocking him out of his musings.

All thoughts of books, and Raphael, fly out of Magnus’ head.

He spins slowly on the spot, until he's facing the counter. And there behind it, stands Tall, Dark and Handsome. And Magnus suddenly can't focus on anything else. How tall he really is, or how the man blushes, or how he drops the pen he’s holding in his hand onto the counter.

All Magnus can see are those hazel eyes gazing into his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, but keep an eye out for Wednesday for a pretty lit chapter haha. Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	6. When I Met You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus Bane, the glittery mystery man, came to Elderwood. Again. Looking for Alec. That, in itself, is a rarity. Alec is used to being overlooked, too used to never being who someone is looking for. And now, this gorgeous guy has just come in, seeking Alec out for the sole purpose of asking him out.
> 
> Alec Lightwood had just been asked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks so much for all the comments and kudos so far! I have a feeling y'all will really like this chapter, so I'll shut up so you can enjoy :D

The last person Alec had expected to enter the store on Friday afternoon was the glittery man.

When Alec first locks eyes with him, the first thing Alec thinks, almost feverishly, to himself, is that he must be imagining things. But then the glittery man grins in Alec’s direction, bright and dazzling, and then all Alec can think about is how infectious that smile of his is.

“I’m glad I didn’t miss you this time,” the man chuckles, sauntering closer to the counter. “And the only help I need is that I really want to know your name.”

Alec lets himself drink in every detail, now that the glittery man is so close, standing just opposite Alec on the other side of the counter. The man’s hair is similar to how it was last time, all gelled up, but the tips are dark blue now. The man wears a tight-fit shirt that matches the colour of his hair, embellished with sleek gold buttons. The man has eyeshadow and eyeliner and, of course, lots of glitter. It accentuates the deep colour of his eyes, and caramel colour of his skin.

The man before Alec raises an eyebrow, the confidence in his golden-brown eyes now mixed with a hint of expectation. Or confusion. Or, maybe that’s smugness.

Alec figures he might not be the most discreet in how he’s checking the man out now.

Shaking his head, Alec smiles shortly. “A-Alec,” he stutters out. Now, he glances down at the counter, because Alec thinks that if he keeps looking into those eyes, he will probably spontaneously combust.

He feels so nervous.

Maybe it’s because a part of Alec had thought the glittery man would never come back. And maybe it’s because the other part of Alec had played out this situation a million different times in his head over the past few days.

And now, instead of flirting back, or speaking confidently, or joking with him, or reaching out to grab a book at the same time as the glittery man (Alec couldn’t help but feel a little cliche imagining that yesterday morning), Alec can’t even keep eye contact.

“I’m Magnus Bane,” the glittery man, Magnus, replies. He speaks the way that Alec imagined he would. He holds poise and confidence in what he says, as if whatever he says is of utmost importance. And yet, there’s no arrogance behind his tone. Not any gross overbearing arrogance, at least. Alec can tell all these things, and he’s not even directly looking at him.

And the name, from what Alec can tell, suits him. It’s unique, it’s different.

Alec doesn’t reply immediately, as he racks his brain trying to think of something, anything, to say. This opportunity he’s been waiting for has finally presented itself, and the only thing Alec can do is stare pointedly at the pen that he had dropped on the counter before.  
Alec knows that, if he doesn’t do anything, this whole thing will slip through his fingers. And he knows too well, that he’ll spend too much time dwelling and thinking and regretting in the future if he doesn’t do something now. But in the moment, Alec doesn’t know what to do.

A shuffling sound finally brings Alec out of his head, and he looks up to find Magnus looking at the ELDERWOOD FAVOURITES display again. In that moment, Alec remembers what he did.

Yesterday, he had put Legato up on the display. In the very middle of the display.

A moment before, Alec had been unable to speak. Now, the words rush out of him.

“I hope you don’t think that I don’t appreciate the book. I loved it actually, so much so that I put it on the favourites shelf. I mean, I know that you gave it to me. Wait, if you want it back, then go ahead. I mean...” Alec drifts off as he tries to find the words. “If you think it’s disrespectful or weird, I’m sorry. I’ll take it down if you want.”

Magnus turns to face Alec from where he stands, a small smirk on his face. Suddenly, Alec feels like he’s teleported back to that Saturday morning, seeing Magnus smirk at him from the street.

“I was actually going to say that I’m glad you enjoyed the book so much,” Magnus chuckles, his eye contact never wavering. “And I gave the book to you, so it’s up to you what you do with it, right? In fact, I feel quite honoured that my recommendation ended up as one of your favourites.”

Alec sighs, smiling. “Yeah, the book is amazing. Really dark but really interesting,” Alec muses.

“Shame that this is the only novel Dorothea Rollins has written,” Magnus exhales. Alec’s eyes widen.

“Really? But her writing’s incredible! The characters seem so real and fleshed-out, and her descriptions make you feel like you’re actually there,” Alec exclaims. In that moment, Alec realises his volume, and he blushes. “Sorry I’m yelling.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Magnus smiles. He takes a step towards the counter again. “You’re very passionate about literature. In fact, it’s quite cute.”

Alec takes a deep breath, trying to not externally freak out over the compliment.

“Look, Alec, I came here today with a mission in mind,” Magnus takes another step towards Alec, and Alec wills himself to not break eye contact. “And that mission was to ask Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome out. So, what do you say?”

Alec tilts his head in confusion at the nickname, the same one he had used on that note from Monday. Surely Magnus doesn’t actually mean that. Tall? Alec would give him that. Dark? He had dark hair, sure. And he liked dark clothes, sure. But handsome?

If Magnus really wanted handsome, he could just easily look in a mirror.

“I’m Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?” Alec asks, bafflement apparent in his tone. It genuinely boggles his mind that Magnus, someone who is so gorgeous and colourful and radiant, would call simple Alec handsome.

Magnus bites his lip, and Alec’s gaze drifts from his eyes to those lips, distracted by the action.

“Of course you are,” Magnus responds, laughing, though the sincerity is obvious in his tone. “And besides, you never gave me a last name.”

Alec allows himself to admit that Magnus probably has enough confidence for the both of them. And he marvels at how Magnus can so easily admit these things, can so easily call him handsome. If the situation was reversed, Alec knows the compliment would never even make it out of his mouth, even though Alec thinks that Magnus deserves to hear it more than anyone else in the world.

“So, how would you feel about dinner? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Magnus questions. Despite the easy-going smile and the confident body language, Alec can’t help but wonder if he hears a slight tremor in the question. Nerves? Worry? So Alec thinks about it. It’s Friday evening, but game night was last week, so this Friday evening is free for Alec to do whatever he pleases.

This is what allows Alec to smile more confidently in Magnus’ direction.

“I close the store at 6, and after that I’m free. And I would love to go to dinner with you, Magnus,” Alec answers. Magnus beams at him then, and the sight of his eyes crinkling and his blinding smile makes Alec’s heart skip a beat.

Alec would agree to anything if it meant he would be rewarded with that smile every time.

“Then I’ll meet you here then, and I’ll take you somewhere. It’s a surprise though,” Magnus chuckles. “I’m going to go get ready, I look like a bit of a mess right now. But I’ll see you then, Alexander.”

Alec can’t help but think that Magnus’ idea of a mess has been heavily skewed. He looks gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, in Alec’s opinion. He wants to say this to him, but he can’t get the words out. And then he’s caught on the “Alexander.”

No one but his parents, when they were seriously angry, would ever call Alec by his full name. And yet, when Magnus says it, Alec doesn’t mind at all. In fact, he likes the sound of it coming from Magnus’ lilting deep voice.

Alec can’t bring himself to say any of these things, lost in his head again, until he hears the bell tinkle, signalling Magnus opening the door to leave.

“Lightwood,” Alec blurts out. “It’s Alec Lightwood.”

Magnus turns, propping the door open to face Alec. He’s smirking again, those golden-brown eyes of his twinkling brightly, and he leans against the doorframe whilst his leg is stretched out to keep the door open. Alec can’t help but think he looks really sexy.

“I think Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome suits you better, Alexander,” Magnus purrs. And then, as if Alec isn’t already dead from the suggestive tone of his voice, and how he’s standing and smirking, Magnus winks at him.

And just like that, he’s out the door.

When Alec is certain that Magnus is gone, and certain that his heart rate has returned to normal, he lets out a long heaving sigh. A giant smile breaks out across his face as he reflects on what has just happened.

Magnus Bane, the glittery mystery man, came to Elderwood. Again. Looking for Alec. That, in itself, is a rarity. Alec is used to being overlooked, too used to never being who someone is looking for. And now, this gorgeous guy has just come in, seeking Alec out for the sole purpose of asking him out.

Alec Lightwood had just been asked out.

Not only that, but the shower of compliments had definitely surprised Alec too. To hear someone as beautiful as Magnus call him handsome is honestly crazy to Alec. And he spoke with such conviction, such sincerity, that not even Alec’s usual overthinking and self-esteem could warp what Magnus had said.

And now, in just a few hours, Alec will go on a date with Magnus. Glittery, confident Magnus Bane. Considering how tongue-tied Alec had been, he’s still in shock that Magnus even asked him out in the first place.

Alec has only ever been on a few dates before, all of them never resulting in any real relationship. As Alec continues throughout the rest of the afternoon, waiting impatiently for closing time, he reflects and thinks about what will happen. Where will Magnus take him for dinner? What’s he going to look like?

How is he going to handle a whole dinner with Magnus if Alec could barely keep it together for a five minute conversation?

By the time that Alec is in the process of closing the store, his head is running wild with possibilities. He feels excited and nervous and a part of him is wondering if maybe he’s dreaming. But when he goes out of the store and locks the door, he turns around and is immediately stunned by the sight.

Magnus stands before him, smirking up at Alec. He’s wearing a maroon sequined shirt with a black jacket over it, paired with sleek black pants and shiny silver shoes. His makeup looks darker than it had before, really bringing out the flecks of gold within his eyes despite the low-light of the sunset.

Alec’s eyes widen as Magnus laughs. “Are you ready, Alexander?” he asks slowly. In this moment, Alec looks down at what he’s wearing. A black long-sleeve shirt. Black pants. Black boots.

Nervous, Alec scratches the back of his head. “I’m sorry, I’ve only got these clothes.”

Magnus doesn’t miss a beat. “And you look incredible. Therefore, you’re ready.” Alec blushes at the compliment, and he doesn’t miss how Magnus eyes him up.

It’s unusual for Alec, but not unwelcome.

The two of them walk side-by-side, Magnus leading Alec up the main street until they eventually reach a sleek silver car. When Magnus slows, Alec’s eyes widen.

“This is your car?” Alec wonders out-loud as Magnus walks to the door for the passenger seat. It looks really fancy and expensive, in complete contrast to Alec, who doesn’t even own a car. In response, Magnus brings out his keys, pressing a button to unlock the car. He opens up the passenger seat door, motioning for Alec to enter.

Alec can’t help but feel a little nervous again. He hesitates.

Magnus’ face flashes with an emotion Alec can’t place. Fear? Concern? Then he smiles, chuckling, though it sounds a tad more forced than usual.

“If you don’t feel comfortable, we can take the subway. I'm sorry, I should've told you earlier. The restaurant I want to take you to is just a little bit far from the subway station,” Magnus mutters. He begins to close the passenger door he just opened, and without thinking, Alec reaches out, his hand touching Magnus’ on top of the doorframe.

“No, Magnus, this is great,” Alec assures him. When Magnus tilts his head, looking at Alec deep in the eyes, Alec smiles. “I’m not uncomfortable. I trust you.”

The words visibly relax Magnus, and he smirks in Alec’s direction as he swings the door back out. With a flourish, he motions for Alec to enter the car, bowing and sweeping his arm out. The motion flashes Magnus’ rings in Alec’s face, emphasising the dark nail polish on his hands, and Alec tries not to visibly swoon.

When they’re both in the car, Magnus begins to drive.

“I’ve personally never been to this restaurant before, but my friend Ragnor swears that the place is good,” Magnus explains, constantly gesturing whilst still managing to keep the car in a straight line. Half the time, he seems to be looking at Alec, even though he should be keeping his eyes on the road. “And Ragnor is a tough critic, so obviously, the food must be phenomenal.”

“So, it’s a surprise for you too, then,” Alec answers back. He finds it easier to speak while Magnus is partially distracted. Magnus’ eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Alec can’t help but think that this is probably the most normal reaction he has had with Magnus so far.

Then he smirks again. “I guess you’re right, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles.

The two continue to converse the entire drive, Alec constantly marvelling at how Magnus manages to speak, gesture, and maintain some semblance of eye-contact with Alec while still managing to not run the car off the road. To Alec, it almost seems like magic.

A part of him can't help but worry, after everything, but he also doesn't want to spout a safety lecture to Magnus right now. So he doesn't say anything that could indicate his concern.

When they pull-over in front of a small Italian restaurant, Alec takes a deep breath in. He can already smell the mix of aromas coming from the restaurant, and he rubs his stomach almost absent-mindedly in hunger. He hasn’t had any food since lunch, which was hours ago, The two of them disembark from the car, Alec wondering distantly how lucky they are to find such a good parking spot on such a busy street.

“Magnus Bane? Friend of Ragnor Fell?” Magnus is immediately questioned by a staff member of the restaurant upon their arrival. Alec's eyes widen in surprise, and he notes how casually Magnus speaks with the worker as they are both guided to a small table for two at the back of the restaurant, next to a large glass wall. As Alec nears, he gasps at the beautiful view from their table.

The restaurant is set atop a small hill, and the glass wall allows the two of them to see the twinkling lights of the buildings on the other side of the hill. With the last rays of sun filtering through across the horizon, the scenery is awash with colour. Alec marvels at the wonderful view the two of them have.

“Are you and Ragnor famous or something, and I missed the memo?” Alec asks when they've both settled into their seats, curiosity seizing him in relation to how they were greeted when they had entered. Magnus chuckles, taking a sip of his champagne.

“I wouldn’t say famous. Maybe well-known in certain circles,” Magnus laughs as he looks at Alec’s confused expression. “Very niche circles. I’m a fashion designer.”

Alec nods, humming to himself as he takes a small sip of his own champagne. “Fashion? I bet that Izzy would know something about that. I’m pretty clueless with that sort of thing, as you can see.” As if to reiterate his point, Alec gestures towards his clothes. Magnus takes the invitation, eyes glancing at Alec’s body slowly.

“I see,” Magnus smirks, though Alec has the feeling that he’s not directly referring to what he said before. Alec wills himself to not blush again. Then Magnus’ eyes lock onto Alec’s once again, and he leans back in his seat. “I’m assuming Izzy is a sibling?”

“Yeah, Isabelle, my sister,” Alec smiles as he thinks of her. “She’s awesome. Probably the best cop in the NYPD.”

“A cop?” Magnus swirls his drink in his hands, a motion which Alec finds more distracting than he would like to admit. “That is awesome.”

“Yeah. And then there’s Jace, my brother,” Alec continues. “He runs a gym. And he’s engaged. In fact, the girl that he’s engaged to, Clary, was introduced to Jace because Izzy worked with Clary’s dad. And then, Izzy met her boyfriend through Clary, Simon, because Simon and Clary are best friends.”

“That almost sounds like fate,” Magnus muses. He’s about to add something else when a waiter comes up to the two of them, ready for their order. They both order their meals quickly and quietly. When the waiter leaves, Magnus sighs, leaning forward in his seat. “You all sound very close.”

“Yeah, we are,” Alec exhales, and he stares at a fixed point over Magnus’ shoulder, schooling his face into a small smile, for fear of any sadness seeping into his tone. “They’re practically my family.”

Alec manages to bring his gaze back to Magnus’ face, and notices how Magnus’ expression shifts in a way that he can’t explain. Almost like Magnus can tell Alec isn’t revealing everything. But he doesn’t push it, something Alec appreciates. Instead, Magnus just laughs.

“Your friends and siblings sound lovely, Alexander,” Magnus continues to drink his champagne. “I will have to admit, though, that I want to know more about you.” He emphasises the “you” as he stares deep into Alec’s eyes, his focus unwavering. Alec ducks his head.

“There’s not much to me,” Alec sighs as he scratches the back of his neck, his eyes transfixed on the table before him. “I’m just Alec, a guy who likes reading and owns a bookstore.” Alec really can’t help but think that, sadly, this one sentence manages to cover everything about him. His friends and siblings are so much more interesting, lead lives that are much more fulfilling, while he’s just a single business-owner who has only one hobby and no proper social life.

His thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of something on his hand. Alec’s eyes focus on Magnus’ hand, which now rests on top of his own. Alec feels simultaneously buzzed and grounded by the action. It gives him the strength to flick his gaze back up to Magnus’ eyes, which bore into his own.

“You, Alexander, the guy who likes reading and who owns a bookstore, are far more intriguing and interesting than most,” Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand lightly. “You say you are just Alec, but I already think that you’re so much more.”

Alec’s eyes widen at the sincere words, a small smile tugging the edge of his mouth. Somehow, the way that Magnus looks, and how he says these words, makes Alec begin to believe them, if only just for a moment.

~

“And that’s why I’m no longer allowed in Peru,” Magnus concludes his grand story with a large gesture, causing Alec to crack up with laughter. Over the course of their meal, they have chatted about numerous things. Their jobs, their friends, their random stories. Well, Alec has to admit, more like Magnus’ random stories. The man seems to have lived a million different lives, with a million different anecdotes, despite the fact that he’s only 29.

Now that Alec thinks about it objectively, majority of the conversation has been buoyed by Magnus’ questions and stories. Alec holds this awareness, but he’s also aware that he’s already reached the limit of his social prowess. He hopes that Magnus doesn’t misinterpret his quietness for disinterest.

They both look down and notice they’re both finished with their meals. Alec feels full, but the food had been delicious, so he can’t really complain. Magnus props his hand up, requesting the bill from the closest worker, and he manages to somehow notice Alec’s hand reach for his wallet, because he reaches out his hand with his palm-open, indicating for Alec to stop.

“I invited you to this dinner, therefore I pay,” Magnus argues.

“Nope, I’m paying,” Alec stubbornly retorts, ignoring Magnus as he reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet.

“Honestly, Alec, I insist,” Magnus speaks as a waiter comes and places the bill between them. There is single moment of hesitation from the two of them, before Magnus snatches the bill with such speed that Alec is left reeling. Magnus chuckles triumphantly, taking out his own wallet.

An idea strikes Alec, and he leans across the table. “Fine, I concede. On the condition that, next date, I pay,” Alec waits a moment for Magnus to realise the implication of his words. At first, Magnus just rolls his eyes, before they widen with realisation.

“Next date? You want to go on another date?” Magnus asks. Suddenly, Alec feels like an idiot for saying what he did, and he glances down.

“I mean, if you want to,” Alec blushes, keeping his eyes trained on the empty plate before him. “We could go out for a drink, sometime?”

Alec notices movement from his peripheral, before he feels a hand under his chin. Slowly, Magnus tilts Alec’s face up until they’ve established eye-contact again. Alec tries really hard not to swoon and die over the fact that Magnus is touching his face, and instead concentrates at looking at Magnus.

Magnus grins, that bright eye-crinkling smile of his that Alec naturally mirrors back. “I’d love that, Alexander.”

With that, Magnus pays for the meal, something that Alec still feels a little annoyed about. Then again, if there’s one who could afford the dinner more than the other, Alec has to admit Magnus is in the better position financially. They both make their way back to the car. Magnus opens Alec’s door again, with a large flourish, and Alec snickers at the gesture. As they both enter the car, Magnus sits at the driver’s seat but doesn’t make a motion to turn on the engine. He sits there for a moment, staring fixedly at the steering wheel, before he turns to face Alec next to him.

“I don’t want the night to end yet. Is that selfish for me to admit?” Magnus asks, almost as if the words are rushing out of him. It’s very unlike how he has spoken throughout the day, with control and poise, and Alec can’t help but wonder if there’s a little bit of longing seeping into Magnus’ voice.

“Then I must be selfish too, because I don’t want the night to end either,” Alec smiles, exhaling slowly.

“I’m not asking this with any... expectations, if you know what I mean,” Magnus looks at Alec, and there’s something underlying in his tone that Alec can’t place. “But maybe we can go back to my place just for a drink? If you’re uncomfortable with that, then I can just drop you off at your place.”

If Alec isn’t already convinced by the wonderful evening that has transpired, he’s convinced by Magnus’ words now. Even now, he’s checking Alec’s boundaries and even offering to just drop Alec off at his own home. With this in mind, Alec slowly reaches across the console and grabs Magnus’ hand properly, a small smile on his face. He wonders if Magnus can see it in the low light of the dark night.

“I’d like that,” Alec whispers back. “A drink sounds nice.”

And Alec is left in awe at how, despite the lack-of light in the small space, Magnus’ bright smile at his words manages to light up the entire car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH YAY! I felt blessed writing this, yay!
> 
> Also lowkey thought the date would last only one chapter, but hey, that's not what happened when I was writing :)
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read, any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	7. Mythical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s small grateful smile in Magnus’ direction unlocks some weird feeling within him. Suddenly, Magnus feels the urge to just hold Alec, or talk about a million different personal things he would never normally even think of saying, or grab him by the collar of his black shirt and have his way with him. It’s the strangest, most surreal feeling, but suddenly, Magnus feels the possibilities burst forth in this moment.
> 
> The last time he had ever felt like this, Magnus had been on his way to propose to Camille.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! Enjoy the second half of the date and more friendship funtimes with Magnus and Lydia :D
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the kudos and comments for this fic thus far. It has definitely blown my expectations way out of the water, and seriously inspires me!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

“What’s this?” Alec asks Magnus as he holds out a drink to him. Magnus chuckles.

“Why, one of my famous margheritas, of course,” Magnus explains, and with that, Alec reaches out slowly to grab the drink from him. Their hands brush for a brief moment, and Magnus smiles as he sees Alec blush, quickly retracting his hand to take a sip. As he sips, Alec’s expression morphs into one that Magnus can’t help but laugh at. “They’re pretty strong, sorry.”

“No, it’s good,” Alec’s eyes widen, as if he’s afraid of offending Magnus. “I’m just not a big drinker.”

Magnus almost comments on how hanging out with him will change that soon, but saying something like that, something about the future, holds implications, and the last thing Magnus wants to do is pressure Alec implicitly into something he doesn’t want. So Magnus just swallows his words with a large chug of his own margherita, in complete contrast to Alec’s tentative sips. He seats himself across from Alec on the couch, and notices how Alec’s gaze can’t seem to hold his own for long.

Magnus knows this is Alec’s shy nature shining through, which Magnus can’t really complain about. It makes Alec far more intriguing to him, almost like a puzzle Magnus needs to solve. A book he must read to the end to figure out the mystery.

“Well, I guess I’ll tell Ragnor that his restaurant suggestion wasn’t too terrible?” Magnus feels a little triumphant as hearing Alec laugh. He sips his margherita again, a small smile still on his face.

“The food there was delicious. Great suggestion,” Alec sighs.

The two of them sit in comfortable silence for a bit. Magnus is aware that most of the discussion that occured over the course of this date was instigated by himself. Alec seems like the kind of person that needs to be directly addressed before he will offer up an answer.

It’s a little different to what Magnus is used to, but for him personally, it hasn’t hindered the success of the date. He hopes quietly to himself that Alec’s silence is just a personality characteristic, and doesn’t mean that he actually isn’t enjoying himself.

“Sorry, could I use the bathroom?” Alec asks suddenly, shocking Magnus out of his thoughts. Nodding slowly, Magnus verbally directs Alec to where he needs to go. Alec thanks him, before he heads off to the bathroom, and out of Magnus’ line-of-sight.

Magnus tries not to doubt himself. The Magnus Bane from 5 years ago would never even consider this date as a disaster, especially considering how much he himself enjoyed the date and Alec’s company. But now, Alec’s quietness makes Magnus begin to think that, maybe, he’s uncomfortable. Or he’s not enjoying the date to the same extent as Magnus is.

Maybe he went to the bathroom to get away. Or steel himself to reject Magnus. Or maybe he’s escaping through the window right now.

“Alexander?” Magnus calls out. Because now, Alec’s been gone for over 10 minutes in the bathroom. “Is everything alright?”

A head pops out from the hallway, a sight which Magnus finds really adorable. Alec has a small smile on his face, and he’s looking at Magnus directly in the eyes. Those hazel eyes of his hold awe and surprise within them, and Magnus can’t help but wonder what magical thing happened in the bathroom to bring about the slight mood boost.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” Alec chuckles. “You have a first-edition signed copy of _Mythical_?” With this question, Alec’s hand also emerges from the hallway, showing him holding said book in his hands. Magnus beams.

“Yep! Went to the signing last year,” Magnus explains, and he gets up and walks to the hallway. He puts his glass down on a small table in the hall, and chuckles at Alec’s amazed expression.

“I’m sorry, it’s just...” Alec holds the book almost reverently. “This series was my favourite book series when I was younger.”

An idea occurs to Magnus, and he slowly plucks the book out of Alec’s hands.

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Alexander,” Magnus winks, causing Alec to tilt his head to the side in confusion. Slowly, Magnus reaches out to grab Alec’s hand, gauging his response. Alec easily returns the loose grip, and Magnus smiles as he leads him down the hallway to a door near the end of the hall. Magnus manages to push down the door handle, despite his hold on Alec and the book, and he pushes the door open slowly with the arc of his arm, tugging Alec inside.

It’s a large room that is lined with shelves, filled to the brim with books. It’s Magnus’ library, a collection of books he has built up over his many years. Books from all over the world that he’s acquired from his travels, books his friends have given him as presents over the years. Books from his childhood, books from years before, books he bought only a couple weeks ago. A lot of the shelves look like they’re going to burst, and Magnus begins to think that his library suddenly seems far messier than he remembered it to be.

Would Alec be put off by the total mess in here?

But Magnus turns to look at Alec, and he knows the answer in Alec’s wide-eyed gaze that sweeps across the room. And Magnus feels an odd sense of pride swell within him upon seeing Alec’s amazement at his library. Leaving him near the door, Magnus walks up to one of his shelves and grabs 5 books in their order from the shelf right in front of them. Holding them to his chest, Magnus walks up to Alec, which brings the taller man’s attention to what Magnus is holding. Upon seeing what Magnus has, Alec’s face lights up.

“The whole _Mythical_ series? First-edition?” Alec looks like a little boy who has just received everything he’s ever wanted for his birthday. “Wait, don’t tell me these are all signed too.”

“One doesn’t go to a book signing and only get one book signed if they happen to own the whole series, Alexander,” Magnus quips. Alec chuckles at that, and quirks an eyebrow in a silent question. In answer, Magnus directs them to a small mahogany desk in the middle of the room. The desk is piled with papers and books, which Magnus quickly shoves to the side. Putting the books on the empty part of the desk, Magnus pulls out a chair for Alec to sit on, before he grabs his own chair. Once they’re both seated, Alec holds another of the books, _Mystical,_ and turns the book over slowly in his hands.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted when I saw this book in the hallway when I got out of the bathroom,” Alec explains, eyes focusing back on Magnus as he places the book back down on the table. “It’s just, I’ve never met another person who’s even heard of the _Mythical_ series, let alone owned first-edition signed copies of the entire series.”

“Nothing to apologise for. And are you kidding me? That series was what got me into reading,” Magnus gestures to the 6 books lying in front of them on the table. “It was the first time I’d gotten lost in a book.”

“Same,” Alec replies. He exhales slowly as he looks at Magnus. “The writing is incredible. You feel like you really are in a whole other world when you read those books. And the characters...” Alec pauses, and Magnus sees him hesitate. “It was the first time I really... saw myself, properly, in a book.”

Magnus understands who Alec is talking about, and smiles slowly. “You’re talking about Abel, right?”

Alec smirks. “Am I that predictable?”

“I’m good at reading people,” Magnus says, and he tilts his head to look at Alec curiously. This is the most that Alec has spoken about anything whilst holding eye-contact the whole night, and Magnus enjoys listening to what he says.

“Yeah, Abel. I don’t know, the books came out around the time that I was still figuring things out,” Alec explains. “And suddenly, I saw this cool, sweet, smart and awkward guy in this book. And he grows into this awesome leader, this great character. And he’s gay.” Alec’s eyes brighten, almost in amazement, as he seems to remember. Magnus can’t help but admire how much this man lights up over his passion for reading.

Magnus finds it endearing. Really sweet.

“Those books gave me a lot of courage when I read them. They were really reassuring to me,” Alec continues, and Magnus wonders if it’s his imagination if he notices Alec’s expression darken a fraction. “It gave me hope. Like an escape.” At these words, Alec seems to be drifting off for a second, and an expression of what Magnus can only describe as pain flashes across his face. But then he’s shaking his head, and he’s smiling brightly at Magnus, and he laughs. “I’m glad you’ve read them.”

“Believe me, Alexander, when I say that I understand the power of a good book in helping you escape,” Magnus reaches out a hand, placing it on top of Alec’s on the table. They’ve held hands quite a few times over the course of the evening, but this feels different. Magnus lets the unspoken support come through with this touch, because Magnus isn’t an idiot. He knows what Alec is implying, and he knows he isn’t misreading Alec’s attempt at remaining light-hearted. So he holds onto Alec, letting him know that he understands, but also not pushing Alec with any topic he’s uncomfortable with.  

Alec’s small grateful smile in Magnus’ direction unlocks some weird feeling within him. Suddenly, Magnus feels the urge to just hold Alec, or talk about a million different personal things he would never normally even think of saying, or grab him by the collar of his black shirt and have his way with him. It’s the strangest, most surreal feeling, but suddenly, Magnus feels the possibilities burst forth in this moment.

The last time he had ever felt like this, Magnus had been on his way to propose to Camille.

The thought sobers Magnus, and he clutches Alec’s hand tighter. Alec notices the shift in mood, and now, for the first time tonight, Magnus tries to avoid Alec’s piercing gaze.

“You’re good at that,” Alec states, which seems a little random to Magnus. He just quirks an eyebrow in Alec’s direction. “Being supportive. I’ve only known you for a little bit, but it’s obvious.”

“That’s just how I am,” Magnus explains. And Alec looks at him, quizzically almost, like he knows Magnus isn’t painting the whole picture. But if Magnus were to explain anything more explicitly, that would open up a whole can-of-worms regarding his past, and Camille. Magnus knows he can’t do this just yet. So instead, he just cryptically adds “You live and learn, Alexander.”

Alec nods, and when he doesn’t say anything else on the topic, Magnus sighs slowly in relief. Alec knows when not to push as well.

Magnus appreciates this immensely.

“I love this library,” Alec shifts in his seat as he gazes around the entire room, awe plastered across his face.

“Well, the fashion industry is lucrative in certain ways, so it helps you when you’re a bit of a book-hoarder,” Magnus jokes, causing Alec to chuckle. As Alec’s gaze shifts back to Magnus’ face, Magnus laughs brightly, gesturing around the room comically. “Books from England, Vietnam, Australia. Egypt, Argentina, South Korea. Fantasy, romance, drama. Sci-fi, murder mystery, classics. If you can dream it, it’s most likely here in Magnus’ Magical Library.” Magnus changes his voice in a way to suit the caricature of a television presenter, and Alec’s face contorts with laughter.

“I feel like you’ve lived a million different lives,” Alec manages to wheeze out as he continues to laugh. “It’s all so interesting to me. I’ve never even left New York all my life.”

Magnus catches the wistful expression on Alec’s face, and he’s overcome with a sudden wish to whisk this man off somewhere far away.

As Alec calms down from his laughter, his eyes happen to glance at the pile of stuff on the other end of the table. Magnus realises, a fraction too late, that his latest sketchbook is still out and open.

Instincts born from his past make Magnus feel the need to hide the book in shame. Not that Magnus is ashamed of his work, but telling someone you design clothes and actually showing your designs to a person are two very different things. But before Magnus can do anything to hide it, or cover it, or do something, Alec reaches out tentatively to grab the book. His eyebrows knit together in an expression Magnus can’t truly puzzle out.

And then Magnus feels he’s back, 2 years ago, in a similar situation. Camille, holding onto his sketchbook, and then laughing at him. Insulting him for what he’s drawn. Throwing the book on the floor.

Mocking him for following his passion.

“Woah, Magnus,” Alec exhales, bringing Magnus back to reality. “This looks incredible.” Magnus jolts in surprise.

A compliment. Now that is different.

“You really think that?” Magnus questions, as he leans across the small table to see what Alec is looking at. It’s one of the designs he had pitched a week ago to Imogen, with a couple of adjustments. From Magnus’ angle, it looks rotated, but he still recognises it immediately. The sketch is of an electric-blue blazer, with steel grey buttons and embellished lapels. It’s paired with fitted black pants with a stripe of the same steel grey along the sides. It’s one of Magnus’ favourite designs, and hearing Alec compliment it makes his heart swell with pride.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Alec breathes. He’s still looking down at the sketch, smiling. “You’re really talented. Can I look at the other designs?”

Magnus is at a loss for words, so he just nods dumbly. He watches as Alec thumbs through the book, his eyes alight with amazement. The reaction is so incredibly different to what Magnus is used to, and it honestly leaves him feeling shocked.

Alec pauses on one of the pages, smirking down.

“All your designs are awesome, but this one actually looks like something I’d be confident enough to wear,” when Magnus sends a confused look in Alec’s direction, Alec turns the book so that Magnus can see the design more clearly.

This one is the most conservative design in this book, which had been added this week by Magnus upon being told he needed a little diversity in the colours. He had been partial to every colour except white in his designs. This one was the most simplistic design that Magnus had probably ever sketched. A white long undershirt is embellished with sleek silver buttons, along with a black blazer and simple black pants. In Magnus’ opinion, it’s pretty boring, but suddenly he envisions Alec wearing it, and it doesn’t seem so boring anymore.

“You seem to be partial to neutrals, Alexander,” Magnus laughs as they both look at the design.

“Clearly,” Alec chuckles, and he vaguely gestures to his all-black outfit.

They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, Alec slowly flipping through the book. He makes little noises of intrigue and surprise at each new design revealed to him, which only serves to make Magnus feel even more giddy, with a warm fuzzy feeling blooming in his chest. When they get through the whole sketchbook, Magnus tries to think of something to say, only for his thoughts to be interrupted by Alec speaking.

“Look at you. You’re confident, cool, and an awesome fashion designer, who has been to more countries than I can count, and with the biggest library I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m special that way,” Magnus laughs, allowing a little cockiness to seep into his joking tone as he takes in the compliment. And now, Magnus brings his gaze up from the closed sketchbook, and he suddenly realises how close they are. He’s still leaning across the table, their faces so close as they hover above the book. And to Magnus’ surprise, Alec doesn’t roll his eyes, or shoot him down, or look too irritated at his words. He just smiles, nodding slowly.

“G-Guess you are,” Alec breathes out, and now, his hazel eyes flicker between Magnus’ eyes and his lips.

“Alexander, would it be totally ridiculous if I kissed you right now?” Magnus asks, because even now, he doesn’t want to overstep. Even so, he’s hyper-aware of how close their faces are now. Magnus can’t seem to look anywhere but Alec’s lips.

“Not ridiculous,” Alec exhales, and Magnus feels the breath on his mouth. “Not at all.”

With that, suddenly it seems like some sort of gravity pulls them both together, and the two of them surge forward as their lips meet. Magnus’ eyes flutter shut as he kisses Alec slowly, his heart hammering in his chest. The two of them move together in sync, and Magnus’ hands go behind Alec’s neck as Alec reaches forward and Magnus feels one hand on his waist, and the other on his face. Despite the fact that they’re both sitting in their chairs, they somehow make it work. Magnus bites Alec’s bottom lip slowly, and the taller man moans into his mouth.

Magnus feels invigorated upon hearing that sound, and he slides his tongue along the seam of Alec’s lips. A silent question. Then, Magnus loses himself as their tongues collide, and suddenly, it feels like Magnus can’t get enough.

He doesn’t know how long they sit there for, kissing as if the rest of the world has fallen away. Eventually, they break apart slowly, and they both let out a collective shuddering breath. Magnus opens his eyes, and he sees those hazel eyes gazing back into his own, wide with amazement and awe.

Alec smiles at Magnus, his lips swollen and his cheeks flushed, and Magnus smirks at the sight.

“This seems a little out-of-order now, but would it be alright if I got your number, Magnus?” Alec questions.

“Only if I got yours in return, Alexander.”

~

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Lydia observes as Magnus walks into the Herondale Institute Fashion building on Saturday morning. Magnus realises in this moment that there’s a small spring to his step, and a small smile on his face. He just laughs as he turns to face Lydia.

“You said I should enjoy my break yesterday, so I did,” Magnus chuckles. When Lydia’s face scrunches up in a mixture of confusion and disgust, Magnus clicks his tongue. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I just went on a date yesterday.”

“A date?” Lydia asks. She seems genuinely surprised, eyes widening. Magnus can’t really blame her.

Magnus has known Lydia for many years. They went to high school together, and reconnected years later through work. Not many people in Magnus’ life know of the atrocities of his relationship with Camille, but Lydia had been one of the people Magnus had turned to after everything that had occured.

And Magnus hadn’t told Lydia about his crush, so the news of a date must’ve come to her from out of nowhere.

“I was going to tell you about him before, but considering how busy things have been, and how you’ve been working non-stop...” Magnus trails off, but Lydia just smiles.

“No, Magnus, this is great,” Lydia beams as they both begin to walk in-step with each other to their first meeting for the morning. “But during our lunch break later, you need to spill all the details.”

Magnus just nods as they both enter the meeting room, and all at once, they both shift into work-mode. Lydia is the Head of Administration at Herondale Institute Fashion, and is basically the closest connection anyone has to Imogen herself. That means she often spends all her time in meetings and in her office, juggling different clients and projects besides Magnus. He can’t help but marvel at how organised she is, and how she manages to handle all her time. Magnus’ schedule isn’t as full as hers, and he already is having a hard time balancing everything.

As Lydia stands at the head of the table and begins talking about marketing, Magnus tries to not feel too distracted, tries to keep his mind from drifting to Alexander Lightwood.

He closes his eyes and sees hazel. He touches his lips and can feel Alec’s lips there instead. He glances at his briefcase, which he knows holds his copy of _Mythical_ that he had been inspired to start re-reading on the subway ride this morning after yesterday.

Try as he might, Magnus really can’t stop thinking about yesterday. It takes all his willpower to not grin like an idiot in the meeting, and instead attempt to keep his composure and focus on the topics discussed.

The meeting goes around in circles regarding marketing and promotion over the coming months. Target marketing, colour association, advertisements. Discussion and planning of these different aspects lasts all morning, leaving Magnus feeling a little drained. Nevertheless, it’s exciting to think of the idea of promotion. It makes the whole process seem all the more surreal. When promotion begins, people will actually know what’s going.

And that makes it seem so much more real.

True to her word, Lydia whisks Magnus away during their lunch break, and they end up at a small cafe. After they order their meals, Lydia glances expectantly in Magnus’ direction.

So Magnus details everything he can. From that first look between him and Alec one week ago, to Magnus attempting to meet him again on Monday, to the waiting throughout the busy week, to the successful meeting and subsequent date on Friday. Lydia takes in every detail, managing to eat her food without missing anything Magnus says.

“So, we exchanged numbers and we have another date set for next week,” Magnus concludes as he has a sip of his water. He smiles as he thinks about it. “He’s taking me out for a drink.”

“That sounds awesome Magnus,” Lydia smiles. “I’m really happy for you.”

Despite her obvious happiness on Magnus’ behalf, he can see the dismay she tries to hide in her expression. Her smile is tight-lipped and her eyes aren’t as bright as they normally are, and Magnus reaches out and squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. Lydia just smiles gratefully in his direction.

“I’m sorry Lydia,” Magnus sighs. But Lydia just shakes her head.

“What are you apologising for? This is so good for you Magnus, you deserve it,” Lydia emphasises her words by pointing her cucumber-tipped fork in Magnus’ direction.

Magnus knows that no matter what, Lydia will attempt to hide her grief for his own sake. Any mention of relationships always brings back the flood of memories regarding John, Lydia’s late fiance. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Magnus had always found comfort and solace in Lydia’s support and advice regarding Camille.

Ragnor and Catarina have been together since high school. And Raphael’s never been in a relationship.

Even though the situations of Camille with Magnus and John with Lydia were very different, on some basic level, it provided some kind of emotional connection between Magnus and Lydia that he couldn’t really share with his other friends.

“Are you telling me that you two just kissed?” Lydia is smirking now, a bit of a joke to her tone, almost as if she doesn’t believe him, snapping Magnus out of his musings. She seems a little better now, which Magnus is happy about.

“I’m taking it slow, Lydia,” Magnus leans back in his seat, earning a small chuckle from Lydia. Despite the joke in his tone, Magnus is speaking the truth.

Magnus doesn’t want to mess up what he has with Alec right now. Moving too hard and too fast could possibly ruin all that, and after everything he’s been through, Magnus doesn’t think he could handle another heartbreak.

“Am I really speaking to the same Magnus Bane who had more lovers in high school than most people have in their entire lives?” Lydia giggles as she drinks her water.

“I’m a changed man, Lydia,” Magnus fakes a deep serious voice, and that makes Lydia laugh out loud. Once she settles down, Magnus smiles with what he hopes is a little more sincerity. “But I have a good feeling about this, you know?”

“That’s good,” Lydia finishes off her salad. “But don’t think this can let you be distracted, alright? I swear you looked a little drunk with how much you were smiling about profit margins in today’s meeting.”

“Was I really that obvious?” Magnus pouts as he finishes his glass of water. Lydia begins to grab her things, glancing at her watch. Instinctively, Magnus begins to get ready to head back to work as well.

Lydia tucks in her chair and casts a pointed look in Magnus’ direction. “Raj jokingly said that we should just scrap the glitter from the entire line and you didn’t even blink. So yes, Magnus, you were very clearly distracted. This better not keep happening, alright?”

Magnus mockingly salutes in Lydia’s direction. “Yes ma’am,” he practically yells in the small cafe, though he already knows that this is a lie.

But after meeting someone as intriguing and adorable as Alexander Lightwood, how could Magnus not be distracted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love fluffy Malec! We're going to need it because I'm getting the vibe that show!Malec will face some angst in the near future ahhhh...
> 
> As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	8. Giving Me Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec realises in this moment, to his own surprise, that he feels purely happy for his friend and his oblivious little sister. And for the first time, there’s no underlying regret or envy. No negative emotions that he normally quells in the face of the love between his siblings and their significant others. Compared even to last week in Pandemonium, Alec feels lighter.
> 
> Because thanks to Magnus Bane, suddenly, Alec has hope. He knows he's probably rushing this, but he can't help but think that he finally has a chance to have that love too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's holidays right now, which means I was able to write a ton! So here's another early chapter for you guys!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos so far! Enjoy the chapter <3

When Alec gets home from Magnus’ apartment on Friday evening, he practically skips into the living room. Contrary to how he should feel, considering the busy day at work and then being out all evening, Alec feels oddly energised. He can’t keep his giddy smile at bay, because his Friday had turned out far differently to how he had realistically expected.

Taking out his phone, Alec notes that it’s pretty late. 11.27pm, his phone tells him. He sees that he has a notification he hadn’t noticed on the subway trip home, and clicks it open. It’s a text message, and Alec smiles when he realises who it’s from.

**Magnus [11.19pm]:** _ Goodnight Alexander _

Alec laughs as he sees the little picture that pops up next to the message. It’s a selfie that Magnus had quickly put into his phone, but somehow, despite the rushed picture and the funny face he pulls, Magnus still somehow manages to look attractive. And the goodnight message warms Alec’s heart. So he types out a quick reply.

**Alec [11.28pm]:** _ goodnight magnus _

He’s debating if he should type out something else when his phone suddenly freezes, before the power down message appears. The screen eventually fades to black. Groaning, Alec loosely chucks the dead phone onto the couch in the living room. Deciding that he may as well do something with all his energy, he walks over to the kitchen and grabs a muesli bar from the pantry. As he walks over to the kitchen island to sit and enjoy his late-night snack, Alec notices his laptop sitting there.

He’s been in this situation numerous times not only over the past week, but over the past few years. But Alec never actually does anything because he always manages to talk himself out of it, or because someone always manages to call him before he can act, or because something just seems to come up. But in the dim quiet of the night, riding the high from his evening, Alec feels a burst of inspiration.

And when his mind tries to spell out any doubt as per usual, Alec instead hears Magnus’ words.

_ You, Alexander, the guy who likes reading and who owns a bookstore, are far more intriguing and interesting than most. You say you are just Alec, but I already think that you’re so much more. _

With that, Alec opens up his laptop. Everything else seems to fall away.

And for the first time in 5 years, Alec writes.

~

“Hello, my darling big brother!” Alec hears a loud greeting on Saturday afternoon. He lifts his head up from the counter to see Izzy waltzing into the store, a big smile on her face. Alec mirrors the expression back.

“Hey Iz,” Alec greets. “What’s up?” He notices that his little sister is still in her uniform, her police badge catching the low light of the afternoon and reflecting back in Alec’s face. He has to admit, he’s a little surprised with Izzy’s visit. She’s usually so busy with her job that she never really has the chance. And a small part of Alec has to admit that Elderwood probably doesn’t interest his sister very much.

Izzy’s smile falters, her expression turning grim as she gestures behind her vaguely. “There was a robbery nearby, so Aldertree and I just finished up our preliminary investigation. I don’t know what he’s doing, but I thought I’d swing by.”

Alec scrunches up his face in disgust. “You’re still paired up with Aldertree? I can’t stand that guy.” Alec clearly remembers meeting the guy a few months ago. Despite the fact that he’s the newest recruit at Izzy’s precinct, he has a habit of acting like he’s the most experienced cop there ever is. Izzy usually rants about him whenever she can.

Izzy shakes her head, hands resting on her hips. “I can’t stand him either, big brother. But I can’t blame Luke. He’s head of the precinct and he’s got a lot of things to juggle right now.” She walks up to the counter, bracing her hands on the edge of the counter, and her expression turns serious. “The robbery was a few streets away, but just keep an eye out, alright Alec? I know you’re a careful guy, but I’d hate for a robbery like that to happen here.”

She’s in professional cop-mode right now, acting almost as if she’s older. She gives Alec a look of pity that he tries to ignore. Times like this remind Alec that despite the fact that he’s the oldest, he’d probably be considered the least successful in society’s terms compared to his brother and sister.

So Alec just nods, smiling. “Of course, Iz. I’ll be careful. Have you met me?” He laughs breezily, which causes Izzy to break into a smile as well.

“Anyways, Alec, how are you? You look pretty... perky,” Izzy arches an eyebrow in Alec’s direction, and she glances at Alec like she knows something. He’s about to respond when his phone buzzes on the counter between the two of them. Before he can even think of retrieving his phone to check the message, Izzy snatches it from the counter, eyes lighting up with curiosity and interest.

She gasps, loud enough to draw the attention of an old man perusing the shelf near the opposite wall. “Alec, explain to me who this Magnus is and why he’s messaging you about when he’s available.” Despite the statement, Izzy is giggling as Alec manages to wrench the phone out of her grasp to check said message.

**Magnus [2.49pm]:** _ The next break in my schedule is Wednesday evening. Is that alright? _

For a moment, Alec forgets that his little sister is looking intently at him, and he smiles at the thought of seeing Magnus again. And now that he has Wednesdays off, he can spend the day to try and psych himself up for an evening out. He taps out a quick reply, indicating that Wednesday would be perfect, and because he feels like it, he adds a small smiley face to the end of the message.

He’s lost in his own thoughts and is only brought back to the present by the sound of Izzy clearing her throat, and Alec wrenches his gaze away from his phone and promptly stuffs it into the back pocket of his pants. “Sorry, I- uh, what?”

“Details, Alec. Now. I need to head back soon, so you better start explaining.” Izzy puts her elbows on the counter and looks at Alec, almost like a small child preparing to hear a bedtime story. Alec rolls his eyes, smiling fondly at his little sister, who seems so genuinely interested in this development in Alec’s life.

So Alec details everything. The bizarre first-sighting. The more bizarre near-meeting, and the subsequent book recommendation. How Magnus had come in yesterday, and had promptly swept Alec off his feet. He briefly goes over their first date, because Alec likes keeping the details to himself, and he ends his little explanation with how he had suggested going out again for drinks.

“So, yeah, we’re going out again on Wednesday, it seems,” Alec concludes, and he realises now that he’s beaming. He has a habit of doing that whenever he thinks of glittery Magnus Bane.

Izzy is beaming too. “This is awesome Alec. You totally deserve this. And you seemed so offended when I mentioned relationships last week! I never would’ve thought,” Izzy shakes her head, almost in disbelief. “What’s he like?”

“Don’t get any ideas, Izzy,” Alec immediately retorts. Izzy puts her hands up, shrugging.

“Hey, I love Simon. I’m just asking because I’m curious. And you know that at some point, I gotta meet this Magnus guy and make sure he passes the test,” Izzy’s expression looks serious, but there’s laughter in her eyes.

So Alec leans back on his heels as he thinks. There are many ways to describe Magnus Bane. He’s only properly known him for about a day, but Alec already feels like he knows Magnus pretty well. He’s charismatic, confident, but not in a showy or arrogant way like Jace. Besides, he has the talent to back it up. He’s gorgeous, with his golden-brown eyes that twinkle seemingly in the dark, with his caramel-coloured skin, with his nail polish and makeup and jewellery that seem so enticing to Alec. He’s an avid reader, with the most beautiful library Alec has ever seen, and has a great taste in books.

And he’s kind. He’s sweet, and compassionate, and always seems to put Alec first somehow.

But Alec can’t get the words out. He never really is able to.

“Magnus is... quite magical,” Alec muses after spending an obscenely long time thinking. “Magnus Bane is unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.” The words seem so insufficient, like they can barely cover the scope, the magnitude, of the person that is Magnus Bane.

Izzy’s eyes widen, and she straightens immediately. “Wait, Magnus Bane? Like, THE Magnus Bane?”

Something clicks in Alec’s brain as he recalls one of his conversations with Magnus from yesterday. “He’s a fashion designer. I’m getting the feeling you know -”

“My brother is dating Magnus Bane?” Izzy practically shrieks in amazement, earning a disgruntled look from that old man again. Izzy ignores the look, and she’s practically bouncing at this point. Whatever test she must've had in mind, surely Magnus has already passed it. “Of course I know who he is! His collaboration work with Ragnor Fell is legendary, my dear brother. In fact, he’s launching his own line in a few months.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Alec mutters as he thinks back on Magnus explaining this very fact to him yesterday. But Izzy doesn’t really seem to hear him.

Alec takes a step back from Izzy as she rambles about her disbelief that her big brother is apparently dating someone she’s a huge fan of. “His work is pretty niche, but Alec, it’s incredible. I can’t believe this! Alec, this is so cool!”

Alec smirks at Izzy’s excitement, but before he can interject, the walkie talkie propped on Izzy’s shoulder makes a sound. Someone begins talking on the other end, but Alec can’t decipher the warbled words. Izzy, however, immediately stops jumping, her expression turning serious, even grim, as she listens to what’s being said on the other end. Maybe Alec’s too far away to hear properly, or maybe Izzy’s just gotten used to listening to people talk over those things, because Izzy seems to understand everything perfectly whilst Alec just stands there, confused.

“Got it,” Izzy speaks into the walkie-talkie. “We’re on our way.” And with that, professional Izzy is back, and she looks at Alec steadily. “I have to go now, Alec. But don’t think this discussion is over, because it isn’t.” She smiles then, and begins to make her way to the door that leads out onto the street.

“See you Izzy. Be careful. Love you,” Alec calls out as Izzy opens the door, the bell chiming loudly. Izzy chuckles.

“Bye Alec. Love you too. And I’m always careful. Have you met me?” Izzy beams, mirroring her brother’s words back at him, and with one last wave, she’s gone.

“That’s not true though!” Alec yells out in exasperation, but she’s already out-of-earshot. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Alec yawns loudly, arms stretching up.

He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. He had been up until the early hours of the morning, writing without any break. Even now, Alec is struck by how odd this is.

For years, he’s put off writing, has fallen into a writer’s block of sorts. And yet, yesterday, when he had gotten home, the words had suddenly burst forth. A dam of pent-up emotions and thoughts and phrases that Alec knew he had to get down, no matter how late he had to stay up.

Alec smirks to himself. It was all because of Magnus.

As if cued by Alec’s thoughts, his phone vibrates in his back pocket to indicate a text message. Alec can’t help his small smile as he sees the message is from Magnus.

**Magnus [3.07pm]:** _ It’s a date then. I’m looking forward to seeing you again Alexander <3 _

Alec feels oddly elated at the little heart at the end of the message. He taps out a reply quickly.

**Alec [3.08pm]:** _ me too magnus, see you wednesday _

He grins to himself as he pockets his phone again, and looks up to notice the old man from before now slowly approaching the counter. He holds a single book in his hands, and he places it on the counter.

“Good afternoon,” Alec greets pleasantly, the same way he has done a million times with many other different customers. “Is this all you will be needing?” With these words, he gestures to the book before him. The old man just nods, and Alec quickly processes the purchase. He sends the man off with a bag with his book in it, and a smile. When the old man leaves, Alec realises that he’s alone in the store. He decides it’s a good time to reorganise the shelves, and he hums quietly to himself as he sets about performing these menial tasks in the store.

More often than not, Alec’s thoughts drift away from him. He considers it a side-effect of the sleep-deprivation. He thinks about Izzy, and, knowing his little sister, he has a feeling that she’s already divulged the details of him and Magnus to Clary, Jace and, of course, Simon. He thinks about writing more when he gets home. He has Sunday off, so he’ll be able to get away with sleeping in.

He thinks about Magnus. He thinks about how he’ll be seeing the glittery man very soon.

And honestly? Alec can’t wait.

~

Sunday passes by, with Alec alternating between writing, doing paperwork and texting Magnus. Unlike Alec, Magnus’ schedule is very sporadic and he’s busy throughout most of the day, but whenever he’s free, he messages Alec. That makes Alec feel a little giddy.

When Alec is in the middle of typing, late in the evening, he hears his phone ring. Not buzz, from a text message, but actually ring. He peers over the edge of the computer screen and the name “Magnus” is lit up on the front. His silly selfie from Friday is displayed proudly on the screen, and Alec chuckles as he reaches over his laptop to grab his phone and press answer.

“Look Alexander, it’s our first phone call,” Magnus laughs into the phone when he picks up. “Look at all these milestones we’re accomplishing.”

“Hello to you too, Magnus,” Alec replies, and he moves his laptop to the side as he braces his elbows on the kitchen island, propping his phone to his ear properly. “How’s your day been?”

“Incredibly busy,” Magnus responds. “I’m pretty much only entering my apartment now and -” He stops speaking, and Alec hears a small yelp on the other side of the line.

Part of Alec wants to laugh at the adorable sound, but another part of Alec is immediately on alert. Despite himself, he straightens in the stool he’s sitting in. “Magnus? Is everything ok?” Alec questions.

“Alexander!” Magnus exclaims into the phone. “My cat has made a total mess of my living room.”

Alec cocks his head to the side as he thinks back to Friday evening. “I never saw a cat there on Friday,” Alec thinks aloud. Magnus laughs on the other side of the line, though there doesn’t seem to be any humour in his tone.

“Chairman Meow comes and goes, but trust me when I say that he’s my cat,” Magnus sighs loudly. “Except I may as well renounce him as my cat when he does stuff like this!” Alec can mentally picture Magnus gesturing wildly around his apartment, and considering the numerous knick-knacks Magnus has in his house, Alec can only imagine the mess that has been made that warrants Magnus to sound so stressed.

“Chairman Meow? A cat-pun name, really?” Alec asks. It seems to distract Magnus from the mess, because he immediately responds, his voice sounding a little less high-pitched and frenzied.

“That’s the only way to name a cat, Alexander,” Magnus states, as if this is fact. “I’m really sorry Alexander, I would love to talk to you longer but I’m going to have to go and clean-up this mess.”

Alec can’t help but feel a tiny bit disappointed, but he nods in understanding. “That’s alright,” he voices his understanding when he remembers that Magnus can’t see his nodding over a phone call.

“Our first phone call is ending pretty lamely,” Magnus laments.

“I think it's pretty memorable,” Alec tries to cheer Magnus up. He likes to think it works, because Magnus lets out a short chuckle.

“I guess you’re right,” Magnus responds. There’s something wistful, maybe it’s awe, in his tone, though Alec can’t really figure out what warrants this. “I’ll talk to you later, Alexander.”

“See you, Magnus,” Alec greets. He hears the beep that indicates the call has disconnected, and puts his phone down on the kitchen island. He glances to his left, seeing his laptop which is still open.

So Alec makes some edits. And by the time he needs to go to bed, he’s happy to admit that he’s managed to integrate a cat into his story now.

~

Monday passes by in a similar fashion to Sunday. Alec writes, does paperwork, texts Magnus when Magnus is available. In the afternoon, Magnus indicates that he’ll be in a pretty important meeting for the whole afternoon. Alec is overcome with a need to leave the house. He walks around the streets aimlessly for quite a while, before he stumbles upon a quaint-looking coffee shop. Feeling a little peckish, he decides to go inside.

Taki’s Coffee Joint is pretty quiet, and there’s not a lot of customers. The cafe is small, but the dim lighting and dark wood of the walls and tables creates a nice atmosphere that is emphasised by the quiet music playing. Considering quite a lot of people are at work, Alec isn’t too surprised by the lack of people. He is, however, very surprised when he spots a familiar flop of brown hair in the corner of the store.

“Simon,” Alec calls out as he walks to the corner table. Simon turns around at the sound of his name, and he holds up a hand in a way of greeting.

“Hey Alec,” Simon greets. “What are you doing here? I mean, not that I’m annoyed that you’re here. In fact, I’m happy to see you. This place has amazing coffee, you should try some.” As if to accentuate his point, Simon takes a long sip of his drink.

Alec just shrugs. “I was bored, so I decided to go for a walk. Then I felt hungry, so now I’m here to get something,” Alec explains. Simon nods in understanding.

“Oh, because you have that new employee, right?” Simon questions. Alec nods.

“What about you?” Alec asks. In answer, Simon holds up a little book that it seems he’s been writing in.

“Sometimes a change in scenery helps,” Simon gestures to the coffee before him with his pen that he holds loosely in his hand. “And a good coffee. And this place has great reviews online.”

Alec nods, before indicating that he’ll go buy a coffee and some food and will come back to the table after. Simon nods, before he tilts his head back down and continues writing. Alec gets up, walking to the counter near the entrance to the cafe, and orders a strong coffee and quiche. As he orders, he allows himself a moment with his thoughts.

Simon may not be in the most popular band, but he’s found success as a songwriter for a lot of reputable singers and bands. His job is probably the most flexible out of all of them, but Alec knows firsthand that creativity can’t be something you can force. And he would never admit this to anyone, but Alec appreciates the songs that Simon has written. He’s heard a few of them on the radio, and he’s proud of his friend for finding success in such a field.

Walking back to the table, Alec seats himself. Simon immediately looks up, and he closes his book and shoves it to the side.

“No, no,” Alec holds his hands up. “Don’t let me stop you from writing, honestly.”

But Simon just shrugs. “No man, I’m not going to be rude like that. Besides, I’ve been here for hours and I haven’t written much anyways. I probably just stayed because this coffee is so good.”

Alec smiles gratefully in Simon’s direction, and they both sip their coffees (which Alec must admit is really good) as they chat about their lives and even when Alec gets his quiche and begins to eat.

It’s always easy to have a conversation with Simon, and whilst some people would consider him too talkative or awkward, Alec can’t help but think that this offsets Alec’s natural quietness. Alec still remembers how the two of them had hit it off pretty easily when they’d first met when Jace had brought Clary to game night, and Clary had dragged Simon along.

That had been 4 years ago, something that Alec can’t believe. Nothing much has changed since then, but Alec clearly remembers how Clary, Jace and himself had noticed Izzy and Simon’s mutual feelings for each other before they themselves had. Those two had danced around each other for months before finally becoming a couple, to the bemusement of the other three.

A thought strikes Alec in that moment.  _ What would happen if he brought Magnus along to game night? _

Simon must be able to read his mind, because he leans back in his seat and smirks. “Izzy was telling me all about this Magnus guy. In fact, she wouldn’t stop fangirling over him. But good for you, man.”

“Thanks Simon. And trust Izzy,” Alec groans as he takes another bite of his quiche. Chewing it gives him the chance to think of how to continue. “She never knows how to keep her mouth shut with these things.”

“You’re not wrong there, my friend,” Simon bites his lip. “The way she was talking about him. She sounded awestruck.” At this, Simon looks down, and when he doesn’t continue speaking, Alec just rolls his eyes.

“You know she sounds way more awestruck when she talks about you, right?” Alec asks. Simon’s gaze lifts back-up and he grins.

“Yeah man, I guess you’re right,” Simon laughs, and with that, he downs the rest of his coffee. “Thanks Alec.”

“No worries man,” Alec chuckles as he finishes off his quiche. He notices Simon’s gaze follow the movement, apprehension apparent on his features. “Ah, Simon? Is everything ok?”

Simon doesn’t say anything, and Alec is struck with the feeling that something is wrong.

“Simon?” Alec asks again. Simon being quiet is never a good sign.

Keeping his gaze fixed on the table, Simon reaches for something in his pocket and takes out something, placing it on the table between the two of them. Alec’s eyes widen to the size of saucers when he realises that it’s a small black box.

All at once, Simon looks at Alec and suddenly can’t stop talking.

“Speaking of Izzy, I’ve been thinking about proposing for a while now, and I wanted your blessing. I mean, not that Izzy isn’t her own individual that can’t decide her future, but I wanted to just make sure. And I don’t want to tell Jace and Clary yet because they have enough to worry about with the upcoming wedding. But man, I had to tell someone because it’s been on my mind for ages and I’m trying to figure out when I should do it. Wait, you haven't said anything yet. Alec?”

Alec can barely process the words as they rush out of Simon’s mouth. He’s shocked, he has to admit. But he’s also very happy and excited at the prospect. He blinks slowly, a small smile growing on his face.

“Simon, do you really think I would be against this? You’ve been nothing but kind to my little sister and you’re a good friend. A good person,” Alec chuckles.

Simon’s smile lights up his whole face. “Thanks so much, man!”

“But if you do mess up, don’t think for a second that I won’t beat your ass,” Alec adds, but there’s humour in his tone. Simon just scratches the back of his neck.

“Let’s be honest, she’d beat you to it,” Simon chuckles, and they both laugh out loud at that.

Alec realises in this moment, to his own surprise, that he feels purely happy for his friend and his oblivious little sister. And for the first time, there’s no underlying regret or envy. No negative emotions that he normally quells in the face of the love between his siblings and their significant others. Compared even to last week in Pandemonium, Alec feels lighter.

Because thanks to Magnus Bane, suddenly, Alec has hope. He knows he's probably rushing this, but he can't help but think that he finally has a chance to have that love too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF IS FUN! And friendship is fun too!
> 
> Anyways, thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	9. What Great Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Alec beams, like he also understands the inevitability of this as well. Every moment that Magnus spends with Alec just affirms this fact to him.
> 
> From the moment Magnus first saw Alexander Lightwood, he was a goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Wednesday, another chapter. And this is my attempt at trying make this story deeper than all the fluff that's been going on hahaha
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the kudos and comments so far, they're so encouraging and fill my heart with happiness (I'm sorry I'm a sap).
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :D

“Maybe the purple is a bit too much,” Magnus examines himself in the mirror. Seemingly in response, Chairman Meow jumps onto the bathroom counter, yelping. “Actually, screw your opinion. The purple stays.” With that, Magnus finishes off his makeup, and walks quickly through the bathroom door.

It’s nearing 9pm, when Alec said he would come to pick up Magnus for them to go out for drinks. Magnus checks over everything, going over what he’s wearing and how he looks. He has to admit, even by his standards, that he looks pretty flamboyant, especially considering that, from what Alec had been telling him over the past few days, they’re probably going to a pretty standard bar.

But Magnus tries not to doubt himself too much. Besides, before he even has the chance to think of changing into something a little more inconspicuous than ripped black skinny jeans and a bright red shirt that matches the stripe of red in his hair, he hears the buzz of the intercom.

“Alexander, I’m on my way,” Magnus speaks into the intercom. He hears a crackly breathy chuckle on the other end.

“I’ll be waiting,” Alec responds. With that, Magnus checks he has everything he needs, and then he’s out the door.

When he exits his apartment building, Magnus turns to find Alec looking at him. He’s wearing the exact opposite of what Magnus is wearing, which happens to be the exact attire one is supposed to wear to a bar. He’s wearing black pants, a grey t-shirt and a black leather jacket over the top.

How is it possible for someone to be this attractive?

With this thought in mind, Magnus opens his mouth, a compliment, possibly coupled with an innuendo, on the tip of his tongue. And yet, he pauses when he focuses on Alec’s face.

Alec’s eyes are wide, and he drags his gaze slowly over what Magnus is wearing. He licks his lips, something he must do subconsciously, and it takes everything Magnus has in him to not pull him close upon witnessing the action.

“Too much?” Magnus questions, doubt starting to creep into his tone. At this, Alec’s gaze locks onto his own. His pupils look blown-out, and his hazel eyes convey something that makes Magnus’ breath hitch.

“No,” Alec shakes his head firmly, almost as if he’s offended Magnus could suggest such a thing. “You look incredible.”

“As do you, Alexander,” Magnus immediately responds, and he feels something warm bloom in his chest as he registers Alec’s words. He steps forward, and with no words, the two of them lock their hands together and begin to walk. As they walk together, Alec explains how he doesn’t own a car, and apologises that they’ll have to take the subway.

“Believe me, if I had a car on-hand, I would drive us,” Alec continues.

“We could always use my car, Alexander,” Magnus suggests, but at this, Alec shakes his head.

“But I want to take you there. I mean, we could if you want... Wait, do you not want to use the subway? I mean -”

“Alexander, I really don’t mind what we do,” Magnus interjects quietly, using his thumb to slowly stroke Alec’s hand in a gesture he hopes is reassuring. And Magnus likes to think he doesn’t imagine the slight shiver that goes through Alec’s body at the motion.

“Ok,” Alec breathes out, a small smile on his face. Something about the conversation clicks in Magnus’ head, and he peers curiously at Alec from the corner of his eye as they make their way to the subway station.

“Are you saying you have a license, you just don’t have a car?” Magnus asks. From the way Alec had phrased it earlier, it sounds like this is the case.

Something shifts in Alec then, and he tenses ever so slightly. If Magnus wasn’t as observant as he considered himself to be, he probably would’ve missed it.

But he is observant, and he definitely notices.

“Ah, yeah. I’m pretty broke right now,” Alec admits, the words sort-of rushing out of him. He straightens a little. “I mean, not actually broke. But it’s not in the cards for me right now to get a car.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alexander,” Magnus exhales. Something tells him that this is not the right thing to say, because Alec just nods stoically and doesn’t say anything else. When he stops their walk to bend down and tie his shoelace, he doesn’t go back to holding Magnus’ hand when he stands back up. Magnus tries really hard not to read too much into it.

When they board the subway, Alec is pretty quiet. Magnus has a feeling he’s lost somewhere in his head, a habit that Magnus has noticed over the course of his interactions with the quiet man. Still, Magnus tries to overlook the whole car discussion, talking animatedly about the progress with his work on his line, and asking Alec questions about his work and his friends.

When they get off at a stop Magnus doesn’t frequent much, he follows Alec’s lead until they reach a small bar. Pandemonium. Personally, Magnus has never been, but Alec explains how he and his friends often frequent this place. “Sometimes, Simon even plays here with his band,” Alec adds quietly as they sit down at a booth.

It seems like Alec is feeling better now, though Magnus feels like Alec’s taken a couple steps back. As they order their drinks, Magnus recounts how irritating Raj has been recently in their meetings. His exaggerated impression of him has Alec chuckling, but something still seems a little distant.

Never one for subtlety, Magnus leans forward in his seat. “Is everything alright, Alexander?” Alec doesn't say anything, and he's staring intently at his drink. “Alec?”

“Huh?” Alec jolts in his seat. He seems to register Magnus’ words finally, and he rubs the bridge of his nose in what seems to be irritation. “God, Magnus, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Magnus genuinely asks. He doesn’t want Alec to feel guilty if he’s having a bit of an off-day, or if he’s feeling weird from before. But Alec shakes his head.

“I’m literally the one who invited you out to drinks, and now I’m stuck in my own head when I’m supposed to be...” Alec trails off, eyes glancing around everywhere. He seems to find the ceiling very interesting, because he can’t look at Magnus in the eye.

“If me talking about cars offended you or something, I’m sorry,” Magnus apologises, because surely this weird shift-in-mood happened after their walk had started. But once again, Alec shakes his head, and he looks at Magnus with an expression he can’t really place, eyes wide.

“No, God. No, Magnus. You literally have no reason to apologise, this is just me being dumb and stupid,” Alec reassures Magnus. Magnus frowns.

“You’re not dumb or stupid, Alexander,” Magnus emphasises, taking a long sip of his drink. Seemingly in response, Alec takes a long swig of his beer. A really long swig. He places the beer bottle down on the table loudly, and takes a deep breath. He looks like he’s trying to steel himself.

“I have a dumb habit of dwelling on things,” Alec frowns. “It’s just... I, uh, well...”

“Alexander, if you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s fine,” Magnus tries to placate the man sitting across from him, who looks even more nervous than before. Truth be told, Magnus isn’t certain in terms of how Alec is feeling or what’s going on in his head. But he’s damn well going to try and comfort Alec if he’s feeling uneasy.

These emotions must come through with his words, because Alec leans forward in his seat, bracing himself with his forearms. He looks at Magnus with more surety and intent.

“You saying that just makes me feel all the more comfortable to talk to you,” Alec explains, sincerity obvious in his tone. Magnus feels touched by the words. “It’s just... earlier, when I said that it wasn’t possible for me to get a car right now. You said that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Magnus nods, though he’s not sure if he’s following along or not. “I meant that, you know,” Magnus nods slowly. Now that they’re both leaning forward, their heads are bent close together. Magnus could whisper and Alec would still be able to hear him, even over the outside bustle of the others in the bar.

“I don’t think I hear that enough,” Alec admits quietly. “I’ve worked my ass off for years. And yet people, even my siblings... I always get the feeling that they want me to reach further. Go higher. Do better.”

Without even thinking, Magnus reaches forward and places a hand on Alec’s shoulder. He tries to soothe Alec by dragging his hand softly over Alec’s arm, before his hand rests on top of Alec’s.

“You’re right, I don’t have a car but I have a license. I got that license as soon as I could, and I even had my own car to drive, when I was younger,” Alec explains. Magnus can tell that he’s beginning to broach the topic of the past, something that neither of them have really had the guts to discuss so far. When Alec doesn’t offer any more information immediately, Magnus just squeezes Alec’s hand. He tries to convey his support through this action.

The gesture seems to give Alec the push he needs, because he looks at Magnus in the eye with an intensity Magnus hasn’t properly witnessed within those hazel eyes until now.

“I was kicked out by my parents 5 years ago when I came out to them,” Alec’s words rush out of him all at once, and Magnus notices now that his eyes are watering. “And our family is pretty well-off, and suddenly, I was cut off from all that, and I didn’t have the money to continue college. So I worked _really_ hard. And I’m happy with where I am, even if my job isn’t that lucrative. I love what I do, and I love that I’m able to be who I am.”

“As you should, Alexander,” Magnus whispers. His heart goes out for Alec. The struggles of having to navigate the world with no support is a fate that Magnus would never wish upon anyone, especially someone as kind-hearted and sweet as Alexander Lightwood. Magnus himself knows the struggle of this, and imagining young Alec going through that pains him deeply.

“Izzy and Jace, I love them so much. They rebelled, basically ran away to support me. But sometimes, I feel like they see me, and they see where I used to be... and they can’t reconcile the two images or something,” at this, Alec turns his hand, palm up, so he can grab Magnus’ hand properly. “No one has ever outright told me, you know, that what I’ve accomplished is nothing to be ashamed of. That what I’ve done is _enough._ ”

Magnus smiles at Alec, feeling overwhelmed with the emotions expressed in Alec’s eyes. He feels honoured that Alec would feel comfortable enough to share this with him.

Alec’s eyes widen, and he chuckles. “Sorry, was that too much?” he asks a little sheepishly.

“No, Alexander,” Magnus squeezes his hand again. “I’m glad you were comfortable enough to share that with me.”

Alec laughs again. “It’s funny. I’ve made my peace with what happened, and yet I don’t think I’ve ever properly told anyone all that. But something about you, Magnus... makes me feel safe. So thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Magnus chuckles. He’s about to say something else when he’s stopped short as Alec leans further across the table and kisses Magnus. It’s short and chaste, but Magnus can feel Alec’s appreciation and happiness through it, so he can’t complain.

Something about this discussion must unlock something within Alec, because now, he’s more talkative and comfortable than even last Friday. Magnus understands that Alec is the kind of person that needs to know someone for a while to get them to warm up to them. They spend the rest of their time at Pandemonium speaking in hushed tones about anything and everything. They have quite a few more drinks, not enough to get wasted. But by the time that they’re leaving the bar, Magnus is a little tipsy, whilst Alec is leaning more towards the drunk side of the spectrum. They have their arms wrapped around each other whilst exiting, Magnus propping Alec up as they walk out of Pandemonium at midnight.

Magnus has always been good at holding his liquor, but the same can’t be said for Alec, who, despite only having a few drinks, seems quite off-kilter. Not that Magnus is complaining too much. Tipsy Alec has that constant adorable blush painting his cheeks, and this also gives Magnus the chance to hold onto Alec. The two of them make it to the subway station and board their subway, and when they reach what Magnus presumes to be Alec’s stop, the taller man straightens, but keeps his hold on Magnus.

“It’s my stop,” Alec mutters, though he doesn’t make a move to exit the subway carriage. Magnus rolls his eyes, slings Alec’s arm around his back, and they both leave the carriage together. “Wait, no Magnus, if you need to get home, I’m fine...”

“Nonsense. What direction are we going in?”

“I can -”

“Alexander, the subway has already left,” Magnus gestures behind them to prove his point. “Besides, despite the fact that I can count on one hand the number of drinks you had, it looks like you can’t walk on your own.”

“Not true,” Alec seems to attempt to shake his head, but it looks more like it just lolls to the side. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

Magnus can’t help but beam. Despite his state, Alec’s more concerned with Magnus than himself.

“I’ll consider this an inconvenience if you don’t show me what direction your place is. We’re going to freeze our asses off if we stay here,” Magnus tries to shoot a stern look in Alec’s direction, though he’s not entirely sure if he manages to pull it off. In complete contrast, a giggle (yes, a giggle) bubbles out of Alec’s chest.

 _Lightwood? More like lightweight,_ Magnus thinks fondly to himself. Alec points to the left of them, and manages to direct Magnus to his apartment. The cool night air on their short walk must sober Alec a little, and when they get to the apartment building, he fumbles his keys out of his pockets.

“Do you want to come up? I’d feel terrible if you came all this way and I didn’t invite you in when you practically carried me here,” Alec manages to get himself standing properly as he goes to unlock the door to enter the building. Magnus knows that he’s exaggerating the carrying bit, but he’s struck with an overwhelming sense of gratitude, in this moment, that he was lucky enough to catch the eye of Alexander Lightwood.

Alec holds the door open, half-leaning on it and glancing expectantly in Magnus’ direction. Smiling, Magnus steps forward, and they both enter the building.

They enter Alec’s apartment, Magnus keeping a close eye on a swaying Alec in case he suddenly falls. Some deep need to act as a good host must override Alec’s state of inebriation, because he immediately makes his way to the kitchen, sobering up immediately and asking if Magnus wants anything.

“Just some water, thanks,” Magnus calls back as he walks over to the living room. The place is a lot cozier and smaller than Magnus’ place, but he finds the apartment to hold its own charm. Alec has knick-knacks and books scattered everywhere, yet it somehow doesn’t look messy. He notices a corkboard with a bunch of pictures tacked up, and slowly walks up to it. Most of the photos comprise of four other people: a blond boy, a redheaded girl, a brunette girl and a brunette boy with glasses. Connecting the dots from Alec’s previous descriptions of his group of friends and siblings, Magnus concludes that the four people are Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Simon respectively. There’s a newer looking photo of Alec and Maia, the coworker Magnus recognises. And there are some photos with people Magnus doesn’t really know the identities of. A few of the older looking photos even have a little boy in them.

Magnus continues walking as he examines the room he’s in. There’s a single bookshelf, but unlike the books at Magnus’ apartment, these books are organised and stacked properly. Magnus notices that the books are in alphabetical order based on the author’s name.

“Here you go,” Magnus jumps slightly as Alec comes into his peripheral vision, holding out a glass of water. Magnus gratefully takes it, whispering a thank you as he notices that Alec himself holds a glass of water too. They both clink their glasses together and drink their water as Magnus nods in the direction of the bookshelf.

“You really are a bookstore owner,” Magnus laughs. “Alphabetical order? How do you manage that?”

Alec just shrugs, and Magnus is happy to see that he still has a slight blush colouring his cheeks. “I like things to be organised,” he states by way of explanation. He quirks an eyebrow in Magnus’ direction as he continues to sip. “Is that weird?”

“No, it’s adorable,” Magnus chuckles. He continues to drink as he reads some of the spines of the books on the shelf. Magnus still finds it uncanny how similar they are in terms of their literary preferences. “Every time we meet, I’m reminded of what great taste you have.”

“In boyfriends or in books?” the words seem to fly out of Alec’s mouth on their own accord, and this is what affirms to Magnus that Alec is definitely still tipsy. Sober Alec would never say something like that, would never have the confidence.

To be fair, Alec’s hand that isn’t holding his glass immediately flies to his mouth as he realises the implications of his words. He glances at Magnus worriedly, expression tinged with horror, but even with that worry, there’s an underlying question presented to Magnus in those hazel eyes.

In response, Magnus leans down to place his empty glass on the coffee table. He approaches Alec slowly, and he licks his lips. That definitely draws Alec’s attention as Magnus walks up to Alec until they’re practically touching.

“In both, Alexander,” Magnus whispers quietly.

The reaction is instantaneous. Alec practically slams his glass down on the coffee table and the two of them crash into each other, lips locked and eyes closed. Alec’s hands reach out to hold Magnus’ face whilst Magnus’ arms encircle Alec’s waist. This kiss is unlike the slow exploration of their first one, or the chasteness and sweetness of their kiss in the bar. Their tongues and teeth keep clashing, and Alec keeps making the most amazing groaning sounds from the back of his throat that just spurs Magnus to kiss him even harder. Every nerve ending in Magnus’ body is on fire, and feeling Alec’s hard body pressed against him has Magnus seeing stars. When he feels something hard against his leg, Magnus groans deeply, and the sound is swallowed by their messy and passionate kisses.

The need for air becomes too great, and the two of them break apart, panting heavily. Magnus tries to slow his breathing and calm himself down, because they’re definitely not at the stage where they can start ripping each other’s clothes off.

Not that Magnus doesn’t want to. Alexander Lightwood has been nothing but sweet and adorable and wonderful, and to top it off, the guy is insanely hot. But Magnus knows that rushing would more likely jeopardise this entire thing, and Magnus realises with a jolt that he wants nothing to ruin what he has with Alec.

His boyfriend, Alec.

Alec smiles a little nervously, and he scratches the back of his neck. “You’re my boyfriend,” he states with a tone of surprise, maybe even disbelief. His eyes are wide, his cheeks are still tinted pink, his lips are swollen, and Magnus is blown away by the sight.

“And you’re mine,” Magnus responds in awe, and he can’t help but think that this was inevitable. Smirking, Magnus adds, “As I said, you have wonderful taste, Alexander.”

And Alec beams, like he also understands the inevitability of this as well. Every moment that Magnus spends with Alec just affirms this fact to him.

From the moment Magnus first saw Alexander Lightwood, he was a goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's official fam!! Yay!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read. Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	10. Life-Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does he really look a lot happier these days? To be fair, he feels a lot happier, but is it really that obvious to everyone? Sure, he’s more open to dancing like an idiot with his friends. And sure, he smiles more than he used to. And sure, he finds himself being a little more talkative these days. But does that all actually link to Magnus?
> 
> Alec shakes his head, almost laughing at himself. Who is he kidding? Of course this is all because of Magnus.
> 
> Magnus makes Alec want to open up more. Magnus makes Alec smile a little easier, laugh a little harder. Magnus gives Alec a hope he never thought he’d have. Even when Magnus isn’t here, Alec feels lighter.
> 
> He’s known Magnus Bane for less than two weeks, and it already seems like he’s changing Alec’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter received so much love, I'm so surprised and happy! A big thank you to you guys!! That, combined with the fact that it's still holidays right now, means I have another early chapter for you guys!
> 
> I love you guys to the end of the observable universe and back. A big thank you to everyone who has read, commented, or left a kudos on this story up until now. You guys inspire me (honestly I'm super lazy and normally don't finish stories I write for myself, but you guys motivate me to keep writing and I love you all for that).
> 
> Anyways, sorry for being sappy. Enjoy this equally sappy chapter!

December rolls around, and with that, the holiday spirit pervades the air of New York. When Alec walks to work on the first day of winter, two days after his date with Magnus, he’s surprised to find Maia up the front of the store. Her curly hair is squished by her beanie, her back facing Alec as she seems to be doing something to the front of the store.

“Maia?” Alec questions. Maia turns around, smiling. “What’re you doing? It’s Friday, you know.”

“I know, Alec,” Maia rolls her eyes. “But it’s the first day of December, and I felt like we should decorate.”

Alec looks behind Maia then, and sees what she’s been getting up to in the early hours of the morning. There’s red, green and silver tinsel framing the windows of the shop in an overlapping looping pattern. Alec vaguely wonders how Maia managed to get high enough to put that up. The front door now adorns a wreath, with the same colour scheme as the tinsel. And in front of the door, there’s a large cardboard box that seems to be overflowing with an array of other decorations.

“What? Do you not decorate for Christmas?” Maia asks, and she almost sounds accusatory in her tone. Alec leans back on his heels as he thinks about it. To be frank, Alec’s never had the extra cash or the motivation to decorate Elderwood for the holidays. In his own home, Alec only has a tiny Christmas tree he puts on the kitchen counter to appease his siblings and friends.

“Nothing wrong with starting now,” Alec smiles, and Maia smirks at that. Together, the two of them bring Maia’s decorations inside, and Alec rushes to turn on the heater. This morning has been particularly chilly, and there aren’t many customers throughout the morning, so Alec and Maia busy themselves by decorating.

Maia’s gone all out, Alec notices. There’s more tinsel in the box, along with a mini Christmas tree similar to Alec’s own. The tree comes with mini baubles and mini tinsel. A tiny Santa plushie that Alec notices fits perfectly right next to the cash register. And, at the bottom of the box, long strings of lights.

They hang the tinsel around the walls of the store, and strategically place them on the edges of some of the bookshelves. They put the Christmas tree at the other end of the counter, decorating it neatly and precisely until it looks perfect. When they reach the lights at the bottom, Alec laughs.

“I reckon we should wait until it’s not so busy to put these up,” Alec gestures to the Christmas lights. “Putting them up in the middle of the day is just going to deter customer flow.”

Maia nods, frowning slightly. “I have to go now, though. I’ve got an afternoon seminar I can’t miss.”

Alec shakes his head, putting a hand on Maia’s shoulder. “You’ve done more than enough, Maia,” Alec chuckles. “Thank you for bringing in all the decorations. I can hang up the lights before I close up this evening.”

Maia waves off the compliment, chuckling. “No problem, boss,” she jokes. She glances at her watch, wincing at the sight. “Damn, I have to go. Are you sure you’ll be ok with hanging the lights up by yourself, Alec?”

Alec nods resolutely. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” Alec smiles. Maia smiles gratefully, before she begins to make her way out of Elderwood. She opens the door, and Alec can pinpoint the moment Maia wishes to swear out-loud at the cold, in complete contrast to the warmth inside. But there are customers milling around, so she just bites her lip, shivering as she waves. Just like that, she’s gone.

Alone with his thoughts, Alec glances around the small place. It’s the first time Elderwood has ever been decorated in any sense, not just for Christmas. He admires their handiwork from the morning. Always one for order and neatness, Alec smiles at the symmetrical set-up of the tinsel around the store. He glances at the little Santa toy sitting next to the cash register and chuckles at the sight.

Despite the cold weather, and the stagnant morning, there are quite a few customers in Elderwood now that it’s early afternoon. Alec goes around, asking people if they need help and chatting to others. He processes purchases and cleans the store, and even though it’s just another day, he can’t help but be in a good mood.

Every once in a while, an errant thought will strike him.

_Magnus Bane is my boyfriend._

_I’m in a relationship with him._

_If he were here right now, I could just kiss him hello. Because I’m his boyfriend._

It’s so silly, and Alec knows this rationally, but it’s been two days and Alec still can’t believe it. Can’t believe that someone like Magnus Bane would ever want to be his boyfriend. A part of Alec wonders what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been so tipsy and hadn’t been able to keep his mouth shut. For once, it seemed like getting stripped of his inhibitions proved helpful. It had definitely been worth the slight headache he’d had the morning after.

And yet, the most shocking thing about last Wednesday to Alec is how easy he found it to open up to Magnus. He's not the kind of person that has their heart on their sleeve to those he has not known for long, but Magnus is different. There's a safety, a security in those golden-brown eyes of his that just makes Alec feel like he could tell him anything. And Magnus had been nothing but supportive. And Alec can't help but imagine that, surely, Magnus' open support comes from a place of empathy. Like Magnus has experienced something similar.

And so, Alec hopes that, one day, he can provide that refuge for Magnus as well.

When the customer flow dies down, and the sunlight outside begins to dim, Alec searches around the tiny storage room joined to the office and manages to procure a small ladder. Back out of the office, Alec writes a quick note that he places on the front counter (right next to the Santa plushie) to alert anyone that, if they can’t already see him out of the store hanging up the lights, that he’ll be back behind the counter in half-an-hour. He takes the box with the lights in one hand, holding the ladder in the other, and begins to make his way to the door. Opening the door, Alec looks down, peering into the box to see what kind of lights Maia brought.

His thoughts are interrupted as Alec slams into someone whilst trying to exit Elderwood. The ladder clatters to the ground whilst the box flies from Alec’s grip, leaving Alec on the ground, rubbing his leg slowly. He can’t help but think that this will definitely bruise by tomorrow.

“I’m so sorry,” Alec immediately scrambles up, and his breath gets caught in his throat when he sees who he bumped into. Magnus sits on the floor before him, rubbing his back with a small grimace. Alec’s eyes widen, and he bends down as his voice rises an octave. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry Magnus, I wasn’t looking and I was -”

“Alexander, it’s fine,” Magnus chuckles, and he slowly gets up. “I’m sorry too. I wasn’t really focusing.”

“Wait, what’re you doing here?” Alec questions. Magnus shrugs.

“Did you not want to see me?”

“No, of course not,” Alec immediately answers as he thinks back to his thoughts throughout the day.

Magnus laughs brightly. “I wanted to surprise my boyfriend. One of my meetings got moved to a little later in the evening, so I had a bit of free time.” With this statement, Magnus glances at the stuff Alec had dropped when they had collided. “Now, what’re you doing here? With all this?”

“I’m decorating,” Alec explains. And he beams because Magnus just called him his boyfriend. He picks up the small ladder, and Alec realises with a jolt that it’s snowing lightly as he notices the bits of snow and condensation on the ladder. Shaking it slowly, he opens it up fully and props it on the wall behind them. “Christmas lights.”

Magnus looks at him, a small smile spreading across his face. “And you’re going to accomplish this alone?”

Alec pauses then, considering what Magnus is saying. Hanging the lights alone hadn’t seemed like that much of an issue, but now Alec realises that he needs someone to hold the ladder and feed the lights up to him easily, if he wishes to do this quickly and efficiently. And with the dwindling amount of sunlight left, and with the snow, Alec jolts as he realises that hanging these lights is definitely not something he can do alone.

When Alec doesn’t answer, Magnus smiles. “How about I help you?”

Alec immediately has a retort on the tip of his tongue, but Magnus holds up a single finger in the space just in front of Alec’s lips. Alec gets the silent message, immediately snapping his mouth shut.

“I’m not taking no for an answer, Alexander,” Magnus whispers as he stands close, and something about the way he says it, and his intense expression has Alec nodding slowly as he feels fire lick through his stomach and settle there. And Magnus’ eyes, surely they look a little darker than usual. But then he smiles jovially, taking a small step back. “It’ll be too slow and dangerous if you do it by yourself. I want to help.”

Alec doesn’t trust himself to speak, not after that, so he just nods slowly. Satisfied, Magnus moves away, and Alec almost whimpers as he’s no longer able to feel the heat radiate off his body. But when he sees that Magnus has grabbed the discarded box with the lights inside, Alec just smiles.

The two of them work together easily, chatting occasionally with Alec holding the ladder and feeding the lights through to the top whilst Magnus hangs the lights up. Magnus has a far better eye for these sorts of things, and he somehow is able to spin the lights around in a beautiful pattern that blends perfectly with the tinsel. Gripping the ladder tightly, he observes Magnus as he works to make the lights look perfect. The older man bites his lip, squinting his eyes as he works, with Alec vaguely wondering if this is what he looks like when he’s designing, and Alec can’t help but be enamoured by the expression.

When Magnus is finished, he makes his way down the small ladder, and Alec allows himself a moment to properly check out his backside. Damn it, how did Magnus manage to look so good from every imaginable angle?

“Alexander, I understand I’m rather incredible to look at, but could you save the checking-out to when we’re not out in the freezing cold?” Magnus laughs breathily. Alec blushes, and he’s happy that Magnus can’t see it from where he’s facing. Wordlessly, he moves away from the ladder, allowing Magnus to fully disembark. When he hops off, he glances at Alec, smirking as he winks at him.

Nevermind, he’s blushing again, and Magnus can definitely see it this time.

When Alec clicks the switch, the lights flash brightly. The pattern Magnus managed to come up with perfectly compliments the store and the tinsel, and whilst the lights are bright, they aren’t too flashy. Alec sets the lights on the dimmest setting, and takes a couple of steps back to admire the store’s set-up.

Alec feels Magnus’ hand bump into his, and instinctively, he grabs it. “Thanks for the help, Magnus,” Alec turns his head to his left to face his boyfriend. Magnus does the same, turning his head to the right, levelling his gaze with Alec’s.

“No problem, Alexander. I’d say we make a pretty good team,” Magnus exhales.

Alec agrees, and he can’t really think of any other way to convey that except to lean forward and kiss Magnus. His eyes close as he swallows a surprised gasp from Magnus, kissing the man slowly. Despite the cold wind and the snow from outside, Alec feels warm inside as he feels Magnus open his mouth to kiss him back.

Alec has not been kissed very often in his life, but kissing Magnus feels like leagues above the kisses he experienced before. With Magnus, he feels like he’s on fire and he’s drowning at the same time. And Magnus always makes these little keening sounds that make all other thoughts fly out of Alec’s head. Their hands are still conjoined, the warmth and solidarity of Magnus’ grip contrasting with the taste of Magnus on Alec’s tongue.

When they separate, Alec is surprised to find a slight blush colouring Magnus’ cheeks. Alec hopes it’s not just from the cold.

“Alec?” Alec hears a voice from behind him. He turns around to see Maia standing before him. There’s a smirk on her face. Magnus turns around too, and Maia crosses her arms as she seemingly sizes him up, though the smirk never leaves her face.

“Mr Glitter,” Maia greets, familiarity colouring her tone. “I rushed out of my seminar to see if I could help with the lights, but looks like you already have that covered.” She’s got the biggest grin on her face now.

Alec nods. “Thanks Maia. This is Magnus,” Alec properly introduces them. Magnus’ eyes light up in recognition.

“That must’ve been a hell of a book recommendation,” Maia jokes as she focuses on their conjoined hands. Then, her gaze shifts to look behind them, and her eyes widen. “Wow, the lights look amazing guys!”

“Thank Magnus,” Alec says immediately. “He’s the one with the good eye for design.”

Maia claps happily, gaze shifting between the two of them. “Thank you both,” Maia emphasises. She’s still grinning like crazy. “I guess I should head off then, but this looks great. And you two are adorable.” Maia winks at both of them, causing Alec to blush, and then before either of the men can say anything else, Maia’s off.

“I’m getting the vibe she approves?” Magnus questions.

“Trust me, she does. If she didn’t, she would’ve kicked you to the curb by now,” Alec laughs, squeezing Magnus’ hand with his own. They both wordlessly turn until they’re facing each other again, and Alec’s expression turns serious. “But even if she didn’t, I wouldn’t care.”

Magnus looks far too surprised for Alec’s liking, like Magnus doesn’t understand just how incredible he is. Alec grabs his other hand, gripping Magnus’ hands tightly. “You don’t need anyone’s approval, Magnus. Because I like you, and that’s all that matters. Besides, anyone with brain cells could clearly see how awesome you are.”

Alec’s never been the most eloquent verbally, but the words still burst forth from him. His need for Magnus to understand this sentiment overrides his shyness in this moment, and he holds Magnus’ gaze. Those golden-brown eyes twinkle, and Magnus smiles. And Alec thinks it’s all worth it when he’s greeted with the sight of his boyfriend, with his soft smile, and the snow peppered throughout his black hair, and his cheeks tinged with a slight blush.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus breathes. He leans forward and pecks Alec quickly on the lips. “Now, my meeting is very soon so I should go as well. But I’ll text you later, alright?”

Alec nods quickly. “Of course. I’ll see you, Magnus. And thanks again for the help.” Almost reluctantly, the two of them let go of each other as Magnus begins to walk up the street. From the glow of the Christmas lights, Alec can make out the form of his boyfriend as he kisses his hand and blows a kiss in Alec’s direction.

Giddily, Alec grabs at the empty air, laughing as he sees Magnus put his hand on his head and exaggerate a swoon. He fades into the darkness as he turns around to walk back to his workplace, which Alec understands is in Williamsburg.

Feeling lighter than air, Alec looks at the storefront one last time before he walks into the store, whistling to himself. He spends the last part of his time at work cleaning the store and noticing a few customers that seem drawn in to the store purely from the bright Christmas lights up front.

Alec sends a silent thank-you to both Maia and Magnus when he realises this.

At 6pm, Alec closes up, and immediately makes his way home. It’s game night tonight, which means Alec has to get home, order the takeout and prepare the apartment for the others before they arrive. If Magnus didn’t have his meeting now, maybe Alec would have invited him along. He smiles to himself at that thought.

Thinking about the evening ahead also reminds Alec of his discussion with Simon on Monday.

The two of them had concluded that Simon should propose pretty soon. They didn’t want the proposal to be too close to the Christmas-New Year period of the year, and Simon also wanted to leave enough time between the proposal and Clary and Jace’s wedding in late January. Beyond that, Alec had no general clue as to when he actually would. Despite the fact that Alec had only been told about it on Monday, Simon has been preparing for quite a while.

The guy is ready to propose. It’s just a matter of when.

When Alec arrives home, he turns on the heater, clears up the living room of a couple of stray books and his laptop, and calls their favourite pizza place to place an order. He has a quick shower, shoots Magnus and Maia some text messages to express his gratitude for their earlier help, and has just finished changing his clothes when he hears the intercom buzz. Wordlessly, Alec lets his friends and siblings in.

The four of them usually arrive together, and that’s once again the case this evening. One by one, Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon all file into the apartment. Alec gives them all big hugs, smiling brightly as they all greet him. He can already tell Jace is tipsy, which doesn’t shock him very much, but he’s surprised to see Izzy and Clary both sober. Usually, Simon is the only one that doesn’t participate in too much pre-drinking. The two girls frown as they glance around Alec’s apartment.

“Where’s Magnus?” Izzy asks abruptly. “I want to meet him.” Alec startles, straightening as his eyes widen.

“Wait, wha- Uh...” Alec stutters. Izzy rolls her eyes, glaring pointedly around as she crosses her arms.

“Don’t tell me you forgot to invite him, big brother,” Izzy sounds unamused. Alec shakes his head, offended that his sister would even suggest something like that.

“I was going to,” Alec explains. “But he has a meeting this evening. Otherwise, I definitely would have.” These words don’t seem to appease Izzy as much as he would like, and Clary and her wear matching frowns.

Jace, on the other hand, barks out a loud laugh, and he high-fives Simon next to him. “Pay up, ladies,” Jace wheezes with laughter, and Simon joins him by chuckling lightly as he pushes his glasses up his nose. The two girls scrunch up their noses before they both reluctantly reach into their bags and grab their wallets.

Seeing the two girls give their money to their significant others finally clicks something in Alec’s head. “Wait, you guys made a bet on whether I’d invite Magnus or not?”

Four pairs of wide eyes face him, and Alec fights the urge to groan. He just rubs the bridge of his nose.

Simon, bless him for trying to explain, just shrugs. “Technically, we made a bet on whether Magnus would be here or not,” Simon mutters quietly, glancing to the side.

Izzy whips around, her frown still prominently set in her features. “I even came sober to make a good impression. No matter, I’ll just get wasted from this point on.” Before anyone can say anything else, the intercom buzzes and Alec faintly registers that this is the pizza delivery.

The arrival of pizza immediately shifts everyone’s focus to food, and no one mentions the bet from then on. Not that Alec is even that disgruntled by the bet, he’d been more surprised than anything. In fact, he likes that it shows his friends’ support for his new relationship. However, Alec is definitely grilled with a million different questions regarding Magnus, and their date recently. When Clary asks if they’ve defined the relationship yet, Alec grins as he recalls that certain discussion from Wednesday.

“It’s official,” Alec smirks as he continues to eat his pizza. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Everyone around him cheers, and Alec can’t help but feel immensely loved. He hears congratulations echoing from everyone, and Alec feels so grateful in this moment for his little family surrounding him.

“Ok, now you _have_ to invite him to next game night if he’s free,” Izzy emphasises, her words slurring. “I can't believe you officially have a boyfriend! And I can’t believe your boyfriend is Magnus Bane!” She’s definitely following through on her promise to get wasted. Alec rolls his eyes, before affirming with a small smile that yes, he will definitely invite Magnus for next fortnight.

Someone, though Alec can’t remember who, suggests that they play Just Dance after they finish off the pizza. At this point, Izzy and Jace are flat-out drunk, and Clary is nearly there as well. Alec would normally not feel inclined to play, but he’s feeling a little buzzed from the beers he’s had, and he still feels incredibly light and happy from not just the discussions and events of today, but everything that has occured over the past fortnight.

Two weeks ago, Alec had felt the despair and envy of the fifth wheel. And now, Alec has the chance to be more than that. Because he has Magnus now, and Magnus is his boyfriend, and next game night, he’ll invite Magnus.

Maybe then, they can finally play pictionary.

So the five of them play Just Dance for hours, with one person swapping out at every song to give everyone a chance to play and also to catch a break.

Alec catches himself thinking of Magnus consistently throughout the night. He doesn’t know why, but he has the distinct feeling that Magnus would be a really good dancer. And when Alec sips the margarita Clary made, he can’t help but think Magnus’ taste better (not that he’d ever tell Clary that, and risk the wrath of the redhead). And when it’s Alec’s turn to have a break, and as he observes his four friends looking like idiots whilst trying to dance to obscure Japanese music, he can almost imagine turning to the side and laughing with Magnus sitting next to him on the couch as they see the others flail around helplessly.

Ironically, it’s Simon who ends up consistently winning, which everyone howls out laughing at. Simon is definitely the least coordinated out of the five of them, but when he keeps on getting five stars and topping the levels he plays, it becomes a running gag more than anything else.

“Lewis cast some kind of spell on the remotes or something,” Jace grumbles when he comes last once again. Simon just laughs breezily, clapping Jace on the shoulder.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night man,” Simon jokes, pumping his fist in the air. Izzy practically tumbles into his grip and kisses him soundly on the cheek. There’s a small smear of red lipstick on Simon’s face afterwards, but it doesn’t seem like either of them care.

“I’d hate to interrupt whatever... this is, but it’s time to wrap up guys,” Alec begins to grab the remotes off everyone as he powers down his Wii console, and he’s met with a chorus of grumbles. “Don’t worry guys, we can have a rematch next fortnight.”

Clary and Izzy both light up. “And Magnus can join us!” they both cheer simultaneously. Alec rolls his eyes. Those two hang out way too much. But he chuckles quietly to himself at seeing their enthusiasm.

When they all make their way to the front door, Izzy tells the others to wait outside for her. Alec tries to suppress a groan. Alone time with Izzy is probably going to result in more questions. _Any news on the new line? What kind of makeup does he use? How have you not died yet, considering how good he looks?_

All these hypothetical questions, Alec has no answers to.

But when it’s just the two of them in the apartment, Izzy just smiles slowly. Her expression softens, and she seems to sober up a little bit.

“You look a lot happier, big brother,” Izzy grins. “I’m looking forward to meeting the cause of that next fortnight.” She steps forward and hugs Alec tightly. Unable to formulate a response, Alec just returns the hug. When they separate, Izzy chuckles giddily, and just like that, Izzy’s out of the apartment.

Alone with his thoughts, Alec mulls over Izzy’s words as he clears up. He packs up the pizza boxes, puts away all the remotes, and shifts the furniture to what the setup was before they had cleared the living room for enough space to dance. All the while, he thinks.

Does he really look a lot happier these days? To be fair, he _feels_ a lot happier, but is it really that obvious to everyone? Sure, he’s more open to dancing like an idiot with his friends. And sure, he smiles more than he used to. And sure, he finds himself being a little more talkative these days. But does that all actually link to Magnus?

Alec shakes his head, almost laughing at himself. Who is he kidding? Of course this is all because of Magnus.

Magnus makes Alec want to open up more. Magnus makes Alec smile a little easier, laugh a little harder. Magnus gives Alec a hope he never thought he’d have. Even when Magnus isn’t here, Alec feels lighter.

He’s known Magnus Bane for less than two weeks, and it already seems like he’s changing Alec’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahaha I love holiday fluff! But I feel like I've been pushing a lot on the whole "fluff" part of the "fluff and angst" tag. Maybe that might need to change...
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	11. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s expression is determined, but his eyes convey the unspoken question. They’re practically my family. Are you ready to meet them all?
> 
> Instead of saying anything, Magnus kisses Alec’s finger that’s still on his mouth. He reaches forward and laces their hands together, and he smiles brightly.
> 
> “Lead the way, Alexander,” Magnus smiles. He feels infinitely better than he did this morning, but in the back of his mind, Magnus can still feel that doubt. There’s a voice in his head telling him to slow down, that heartbreak is just around the corner.
> 
> Magnus ignores it as Alec huffs out a quiet laugh, dragging Magnus out of the building and to the subway station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys think I'm ever going to stop thanking you guys, you're wrong! Haha, thank you all so much for the kudos and comments thus far for this story. It never fails to blow my mind.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter, it's got a whole lot of stuff going on: fluff, friendship, angst and some seriously strong Sizzy feels!

It’s been three weeks since that fateful Saturday, three weeks of whirlwind meetings and barely any breaks, but Magnus feels like rejoicing when he gets sent a new timetable from Lydia. He wakes up on Saturday morning to see the schedule for the rest of December to be much more forgiving than the previous three weeks. Magnus taps open the attachment and sees that his hours are not only more regimented, but that there is a lot more free time available.

Magnus’ first thought is that this means he has more opportunities to spend time with Alexander.

Lydia’s email is brief, and Magnus quickly scans it after he’s checked over the timetable.

_Told you the load would lighten a little. But don’t expect that this means you can slack off. See you this afternoon._

Magnus reopens the attachment to see that the first day on the new schedule, today, does indeed detail a meeting for this afternoon. But he’s happy to see he has the morning free.

All the preliminary checks and meetings have now been finished, and Magnus is happy note that now, they’ll be focusing more on the clothes and the fashion itself rather than the administrative details. Magnus knows these things are important, but he also finds them horribly boring.

 _Alec wouldn’t,_  he can’t help but think to himself as he gets out of bed. Alec always seems to find the managerial and administrative aspects of his job to be just as interesting as the practical aspect of running a store, which is something Magnus can’t help but marvel at.

As Magnus makes his way to the kitchen to whip up some toast for breakfast, he eyes a book that sits on his small kitchen table. It’s a book that Alec had suggested for him to read. The two of them had decided that, considering how little they get to actually see each other with their schedules, they would recommend a book to each other. The last time they’d seen each other had been two days ago, when they had exchanged the books. Before then, the last time they’d seen each other had been when they’d hung up those Christmas lights eight days ago.

The book recommendations had been Alec’s idea, Magnus can’t help but reflect fondly.

_Like, we can take a part of each other with us wherever we are. Besides, I need more of your book recommendations Magnus._

Humming to himself happily at the memory, Magnus snatches his toast that pops out of the toaster before spreading some peanut butter on top. As he settles into his chair and makes a motion to grab the book and continue reading, his phone begins to ring. When he grabs his phone and sees the caller ID is Ragnor’s, he presses answer.

“Hello?” Magnus mumbles into the phone as he bites into his toast.

“Bane, I need your help,” Ragnor sounds seriously distressed over the phone, which Magnus can’t help but find odd considering that it’s 10 in the morning. Magnus frowns as he takes another large bite of toast.

“What problem could’ve possibly afflicted you so early in the morning, Ragnor?” Magnus asks, and he has to admit that he’s a little intrigued. Ragnor usually isn’t the type to reach out socially (99% of their phone calls have been instigated by Magnus, and he fears that this is not an exaggeration). And he sounds genuinely worried, which, in turn, has Magnus feeling genuinely concerned.

“10 years, Magnus. 10 years!” upon hearing these words, Magnus relaxes. He knows exactly where this conversation is going. “What am I supposed to get her?”

“What, 10 years since you both drunkenly made out at that pep rally? Or 10 years since you guys fu -”

“Bane, not now,” Ragnor sounds equally agitated, tired and exasperated.

“I know, I know. 10 year wedding anniversary,” Magnus remembers that wedding like it was yesterday. How could he forget? Two of his best friends had decided to get married practically just after high school, and he had been Ragnor’s best man. He smiles fondly at the memory, though he’s drawn out of his thoughts by Ragnor fretting on the other end of the line.

“It’s in five days and I literally just realised I have nothing.” Ragnor practically wheezes into the phone. “And we made a rule that the gifts had to come from the heart and be handmade, so I can’t just buy some nice necklace and be off-the-hook.”

“Ragnor, calm down,” Magnus tries to placate his friend. Any stranger could hear Ragnor and think he was fine, considering how calm he sounds, but Magnus has known this man for over ten years and he knows that the slight tremor in his voice is the only thing that denotes that he’s freaking out. “Just do a lap dance or something equally creative in the bedroom and I’m sure -”

“ _Magnus,_ ” Ragnor sounds seriously irritated now. “If I wanted stupid advice like that, I would’ve called Raphael. You’re the romantic, you should have some ideas that don’t make me want to chuck this phone across the room.”

So Magnus seriously thinks to himself as he continues chewing on his toast. “Write her a song?”

“Have you met me, Bane?”

Magnus can’t help but remember Ragnor’s attempt to audition for choir in high school. Three teachers from other classrooms had attempted to file a noise complaint. And he’s equally as talented in terms of musical instruments.

“Oh, maybe a cute video sort of thing?” Magnus suggests, and he actually genuinely likes the idea as it leaves his lips. But Ragnor just groans.

“She claimed that idea so I can’t copy.”

“Wow, you guys just scream romance. She told you exactly what she’s getting you?”

“Magnus, come on. If you were in my situation, what would you get?”

Magnus closes his eyes and leans back in his kitchen seat as he swallows the last of his breakfast. He seriously allows himself the chance to think about it. He imagines himself in this situation.

Magnus, at some point in his life, happily married with the person of his dreams. Married for 10 years. And he has to get his spouse a gift from the heart, something that isn’t bought from a store but handmade. And something he could easily accomplish in a few days.

He cracks open one eye and he sees the book sitting just beyond his empty plate scattered with bread crumbs.

In that moment, it’s like everything has shifted into focus. “Ragnor, I have just the idea.”

So he details his idea to Ragnor, and surprisingly, Ragnor likes it. And Magnus keeps his eyes closed and keeps on rambling, because he can see it in his mind’s eye as being the perfect gift. After 10 years, all the memories could easily be collated in a really sweet and meaningful way. Alec would love it.

Magnus stops speaking as his eyes snap open. This entire situation he’s fabricated in his head in an attempt to come up with an idea, he now realises, heavily features Alexander. Not some faceless, nameless spouse. The thought is seriously jarring. He’s only known of Alec’s existence for three weeks.

“Keep going, I’m writing all this shit down,” Ragnor urges, oblivious to Magnus’ internal dilemma. “Magnus, I -”

“I’m sure that’s enough Ragnor. I’ve got to go,” and without any ceremony, Magnus hangs up. He runs his hand through his hair as he exhales shakily.

He’s doing it again. He’s doing the exact thing he told himself he wouldn’t do. No matter how slow and steady he outwardly acts, Magnus can’t stop himself for secretly falling more and more every day. It’s been less than a month, but Magnus has always had a penchant for falling too hard and too fast. He thought that his heart would learn the lesson after Camille, but obviously not.

Their relationship had never been perfect. In fact, over the past year, Magnus has had a chance to reflect, and he hates himself for not leaving sooner. But at the time, Camille had been, despite everything, a safe choice. They had known each other for years before getting together.

Magnus had been cushioned from the blow of true heartbreak before then. He’s always had a habit of falling in love too easily, but break-ups before Camille were usually mutual, very civil and for reasons beyond his control. But Camille really had taken his heart and shattered it into pieces.

It had been on the day he was to propose to her that he found her in bed with another man.

Wincing from the memory, Magnus balls his hands into fists. This whole talk with Ragnor has just reminded Magnus that, no matter what happened with Camille, he’s still the same man who falls too hard and too fast. But unlike before, now Magnus is aware of the dangers of this. But he’d been so swept up in the person that is Alexander Lightwood that he hadn’t even thought about all this.

Until now.

Magnus is shocked out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. He groans, prepared to hit the decline button on Ragnor. Surely he can figure out what to do with what Magnus has told him. But he stops, eyes widening, when he sees that the caller ID reads “Alexander.”

Magnus knows he’s not in the right headspace, but he also wants to hear Alexander’s voice. Shutting out all other thoughts, Magnus presses answer.

“Alexander!” Magnus chirps, and he hopes that it doesn’t sound forced. “Shouldn’t you be working right now?” It’s late morning by now, and it’s a Saturday, so theoretically, Alec _should_ be working.

This timing isn’t ideal, Magnus must admit.

“I had to duck out to run a quick errand, but I’m on my way back and I felt like calling,” Alec sounds a little breathless. “Why? Are you busy right now?”

“No, of course not. In fact, I have the morning free,” Magnus explains, trapping the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he gets up from his chair and takes his plate from breakfast to wash.

“Oh, ok,” Alec responds. “You got your new schedule today, right?”

“Yep, got it this morning,” Magnus says. “Lots more free time.”

“That’s awesome,” Alec sounds genuinely excited at the prospect. And Magnus can imagine why. He can hear it in Alec’s lilting tone, in the way he chuckles straight after. Alec may as well have just said it out loud. Because he’s thinking the exact same thing Magnus first thought when he saw the timetable.

_It means we can spend more time together._

Magnus suddenly feels like he can’t breathe, because those thoughts are back and the last thing he wants is to alert Alec or upset him.

“Oh Alexander, I’d love to talk more but I’m feeling a little unwell,” Magnus seriously hopes that what he’s saying sounds believable. Truth be told, he does feel a little ill. His distress must seem obvious, because Magnus hears Alec stop walking.

“Magnus, is everything alright?” Alec’s concern seems to be muddling with Magnus’ head more. He shakes his head, because he knows Alec can’t see him shake his head.

“I’ll be alright, Alexander. I should probably sleep a little more,” Magnus mutters. True to his words, he’s in the hallway now, on the way to his bedroom.

“Magnus? Are you sure?” Alec sounds... well, Magnus can’t really decipher his tone. Does he sound confused? Wary? Concerned?

“I’ll talk to you later,” Magnus tries to sound jovial, though he can feel the facade cracking. He enters the bedroom and practically flops onto the bed, face-down. He’s managed to get through this phone call without totally freaking Alec out (he likes to think), and he’s proud of himself as he moves his hand to tap the disconnect button.

The last thing he needs to do is worry Alec. Because Alec, precious Alexander Lightwood, is not at fault here. The only person at fault is Magnus.

But then he sees Alec’s smiling face light up the screen. It’s a picture that Magnus took two days ago when they were exchanging the books. Magnus had managed to rope Alec into taking a picture after he had exclaimed how unfair it was that Alec had a picture for Magnus’ contact, but the reverse wasn’t true. The photo is blurry, with Alec’s eye-crinkling smile on full display. It almost looks like the photo took Alec off-guard.

Then every thought of heartbreak, and Camille, and the past breaks through.

Hating himself for it, Magnus hangs up.

~

By the time he needs to go to his meeting, Magnus likes to think that he’s calmed down a little. Sure, he may have had a couple of glasses of wine at midday to quell his worries and nerves, but he manages to get himself to walk out of his apartment, which he considers an achievement.

Why does he feel so shaken? He knows for a fact that Alec is the exact opposite of Camille. Whereas Camille was vindictive, harsh, unsupportive, Alec is nothing but adorable, sweet, reassuring. And yet, Magnus feels... scared. The concept of heartbreak and Alexander Lightwood have no place next to each other, but Magnus knows that it’s definitely possible.

When he enters the Herondale Institute Fashion building, Lydia greets him at the door as per usual. Magnus tries to smile in her direction but it comes out more like a grimace.

“Don’t worry. Four hours of accounting meetings isn’t my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon either,” Lydia nudges Magnus’ arm. He tries to suppress a groan. Four hours of any kind of meeting is already pushing it, but the idea of spending hours going over costs and finances makes Magnus want to scream in agitation. But Lydia doesn’t say anything else, and Magnus likes to think that’s a testament to the fact that he’s _over_ whatever internal dilemma had gripped him before.

Or maybe it’s just a testament to the fact that Magnus is a better actor than he thought.

Somehow, by some stroke of magic or some other higher power in the universe, Magnus manages to get through the accounting meetings without doing anything drastic or dying of boredom. In fact, the monotonous tones of the accountants across from him and the boring drone of what they discuss actually manage to calm down Magnus more than those glasses of wine before. Maybe it’s because the discussion of estimated sales brings Magnus very close to the sweet reprieve of a nap.

Him and Lydia seem to be under the same spell of boredom and sleepiness when they both leave the meetings finally. It’s dark outside now, and Magnus checks his watch and sees that it’s already past 6 in the evening.

“Alright, that was a whole new level of boring if I do say so myself,” Magnus murmurs as the two slowly walk to the foyer area. Lydia just nods, head lolling forward before she jolts, shaking her head in what Magnus interprets as an attempt to stay awake.

However, she freezes when they’re close to entering the foyer.

Magnus frowns as he stops as well, turning to see her face. Lydia looks like she’s just seen a ghost.

“Lydia? Is everything alright?” Magnus walks closer to his friend, concern seizing him and jolting him out of his spell of boredom. Lydia just shakes her head slowly.

“Who is that?” Lydia lifts a shaky finger in the direction that they were walking in originally. Magnus’ eyes follow Lydia’s gesture, and she seems to be pointing to the doorway that leads to the foyer. Magnus can’t see who she’s pointing at from where he stands, so he circles around Lydia’s frozen form and gasps when he sees who it is.

Alec’s back is facing the two of them, but Magnus can tell from the tall form, the leather jacket he wears and the hunched way he stands that this is Alexander Lightwood. In the Herondale Institute Fashion building.

Before any errant negative thoughts reach Magnus, he feels his heart surge with happiness as he sees Alec in his place of employment. From what Magnus can see, it looks like Alec is asking an employee something, and he jolts as he realises that Alec is most likely asking where Magnus himself is.

Smiling slowly, Magnus answers. “That’s Alec. The boyfriend of yours truly.”

Lydia turns to face Magnus, with an expression that Magnus can’t really read. “Oh right, Alec. Wow, I didn’t realise he was so tall. And the dark hair. And the clothes, I -” All at once, it hits Magnus as to why Lydia looks so shaken.

“His eyes are hazel,” Magnus explains. Lydia slowly deflates at the information.

“John’s were green,” Lydia laughs but there’s no humour in her tone. All at once, she smoothes her features over with an expression of determination. “I should probably file some more paperwork before I go. You go on ahead.” Before Magnus can say anything else, or even so much as give Lydia a reassuring hug or something, she’s stalking back in the opposite direction, heels clacking loudly in the hallway.

Magnus had never properly met John, considering that he and Lydia reconnected after John had died. But Lydia has described him before, and the more that he thinks about it, the more that Alec really does fit John’s description. And then these thoughts bring back all of Magnus’ thoughts from the morning. But Magnus shakes his head. He needs to get over this weird mental obstacle of his, and preferably without Alec knowing. This isn’t Alec’s issue at all, Magnus understands. It’s all to do with his messed up past, he knows that.

Shaking himself, and making a mental note to check on Lydia later, he strides confidently into the foyer. “Alexander!” he cheers as he nears his boyfriend. Alec whips around, a giant smile breaking out across his face, and Magnus can’t help but wonder how stressed he must’ve been this morning to ever doubt Alexander Lightwood. Those hazel eyes of his light up, and he reaches forward to chastely kiss Magnus on the cheek.

“Hey, Magnus,” Alec chuckles. He reaches into his pocket and gives something to Magnus. When Magnus sees what it is, he feels so immensely treasured in this moment.

“Cough drops? Oh, Alexander, you really didn’t have to.” Magnus feels worse now for how he acted this morning now.

“You said you were feeling unwell this morning, so I bought them on the way here,” Alec shrugs like it’s no big deal. Magnus has never felt so much like a priority before. It makes him seriously happy.

“You’re too kind,” Magnus whispers in gratitude, and even though he knows he is as fit as a fiddle, he opens up the packet and pops one into his mouth. Alec smiles at the motion.

“I came because I knew you had a meeting this afternoon but I didn’t know when it would end, so I came as soon as I closed the shop. I wanted to check on you, for one,” Alec explains. “Are you feeling ok?”

Magnus nods, slowly sucking on the cough drop. Alec got the really nice honey ones, he’s happy to notice. “Yeah. The extra rest this morning really helped.”

Alec laughs. “Ok, good. Well, if you’re feeling better, I came here for another reason today,” Alec takes a deep breath. “I know this is sudden, and you’re not feeling too well, but if you’re up for it, maybe we could go out this evening?”

Magnus is ready for a comment that probably isn’t suitable to say in the workplace to come out, but Alec puts a finger on his mouth before he can. “No innuendos, please. We’re going to Pandemonium, and we’re going to watch Simon perform.”

Magnus has to admit, he’s a little disappointed at first. But then he really allows himself to think about it. Magnus has heard Alec talk about Simon’s performances before. Usually, Alec goes with his little family. And now, Alec is extending the invitation to Magnus

Alec’s expression is determined, but his eyes convey the unspoken question. _They’re practically my family. Are you ready to meet them all?_

Instead of saying anything, Magnus kisses Alec’s finger that’s still on his mouth. He reaches forward and laces their hands together, and he smiles brightly.

“Lead the way, Alexander,” Magnus smiles. He feels infinitely better than he did this morning, but in the back of his mind, Magnus can still feel that doubt. There’s a voice in his head telling him to slow down, that heartbreak is just around the corner.

Magnus ignores it as Alec huffs out a quiet laugh, dragging Magnus out of the building and to the subway station.

~

“Everyone, this is Magnus.”

Alec’s words bring the attention of the four people sitting in the booth. Blonde boy, redhead girl, brunette girl, brunette boy with glasses. Jace, Clary, Isabelle, Simon.

Magnus feels nervous, but those nerves disappear when he’s met with four equally excited smiles. Isabelle, in particular, looks like she’s going to explode. She’s out of her seat immediately, grabbing Magnus’ hand with both of hers and shaking his hand strongly. Despite her appearance, the woman has a strong grip.

“I’m Isabelle Lightwood, the best Lightwood by far, and I’m a very big fan of your work, Mr Bane,” Isabelle’s eyes are bright despite the darkness of the bar. Magnus feels seriously flattered. It’s not like he has many fans or anything. “That sequin piece you did with Ragnor Fell for New York Fashion Week last year? A work of art.”

“Thank you so much, Isabelle. And please, just call me Magnus,” Isabelle nods excitedly at the words, and she makes space on her and Clary’s side of the booth to let Magnus sit with them. Rolling his eyes, Alec sits opposite Magnus, next to Simon and Jace on the other side of the booth.

“I’m Clary,” Clary reaches across the table to shake his hand, in a manner that is far calmer than Isabelle, who’s literally bouncing between the two of them. “And sorry to say, but I haven’t really heard much about your work.”

“That’s fine,” Magnus chuckles. “I’m honestly flattered to have met someone so interested in my work. It never really happens.” Isabelle and Clary chuckle at that.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve already heard of me, but I’m _actually_ the best Lightwood. I’m Jace,” Jace is on the opposite corner to Magnus at the table, and the two of them stretch their arms out to shake each other’s hands. “Izzy is fangirling too much to say this, but just letting you know that if you mess with Alec, we’ll all mess with you.” But as he says this, there’s a small smile on his face.

Simon, who seems to be squished between Alec and Jace, whips around to face Jace, pushing his glasses up his nose. Alec does the same, and the both of them look at Jace. Alec looks like he’s glaring. Simon just looks perplexed.

“Is this really the place to be having this conversation?” Alec and Simon ask at the same time. Alec sounds pissed, Simon sounds confused. Magnus puts a hand up, chuckling.

“It’s alright, everyone,” Magnus laughs. Alec flicks his gaze in Magnus’ direction, a small apologetic smile on his face, but Magnus just shakes his head to let him know to not worry too much. He could very easily handle the shakedown if necessary. Magnus turns to face the bespeckled man in the middle of the booth. “You must be Simon, then. The man of the hour.”

Simon faces Magnus now with that same expression of surprise and confusion. “Alec’s talked about me?”

“Alec’s told me a lot about all of you,” Magnus emphasises by looking at all of them pointedly. Isabelle smirks then, her eyes lighting up as she looks at Magnus.

“Alec’s been telling us a lot about you too, Magnus,” at that, Isabelle turns to face Simon sitting across from her, and quickly glances at Jace and Clary too. “Magnus Bane is unlike anyone I’ve ever met before,” Isabelle’s voice deepens in what seems to be an attempt at impersonating Alec.

“Magnus’ eyes are just... wow,” Jace adds, smirking as he changes his voice as well in an attempt to impersonate his older brother.

“Magnus’ everything is just... wow,” Clary adds.

“That’s enough,” Alec groans, his voice low. Magnus flicks his gaze to find Alec looking equal parts agitated, embarrassed and pissed off. The deep tone of his voice manages to hush everyone’s teasing, and also somehow manages to send a bolt of desire shooting through Magnus’ spine.

When those hazel eyes bore into Magnus’ though, Magnus knows that Alec is seriously mortified. Behind the facade of irritation, he seems really embarrassed. Magnus just reaches across, putting his hand on top of Alec’s.

“Well, you all have no clue how much _I_ talk about your brother,” Magnus smiles as he keeps his gaze trained on Alec. His boyfriend smiles gratefully in his direction.

Four different voices coo at Magnus’ words, and at this point, Magnus finally realises that all four of them are a little tipsy already. Except maybe Simon, who has to go up to perform soon.

The timing works out perfectly, because someone comes up to the booth, telling Simon it’s time to go. Simon nods, and all of them cheer as Simon leaves the booth. He seems to keep his eyes on Isabelle, who blows Simon a kiss. He smiles giddily at the sight, before he heads up to the stage.

Magnus has to admit, Simon’s a good singer. His music is pretty catchy and definitely suits the subdued indie vibe of Pandemonium. Magnus turns in his seat at one point to see Isabelle enthusiastically mouthing to all the words at one point. He turns back to see Alec in front of him. He’s turned his head to the side to look at the stage, head bobbing along to the music. His hair is a little messy, his mouth slightly parted as he enjoys the music. He must notice Magnus staring at him from his peripheral, because he turns to look at Magnus then, a giant smile on his face.

 _They love you,_ Alec mouths. Magnus laughs at that.

The second-last song ends and their booth erupts in cheers. Magnus finds it incredibly easy to cheer along as well. Alec’s little group is not only extremely adorable, but incredibly sweet and supportive. Magnus finds it so easy to be in their jovial company.

Simon taps his mic, turning to the other band member, a girl Magnus thinks is called Maureen. He doesn’t say anything, just seems to take a shuddering breath. He suddenly looks really nervous. The girl, Maureen, nods encouragingly to Simon.

“You guys have been an incredible audience tonight,” Simon begins. Fresh cheers erupt from throughout Pandemonium. “This last song is one that Tacos Off Duty has never performed before. And it’s a song that I’d like to dedicate to my beautiful girlfriend, Izzy Lightwood.”

Isabelle gasps next to Magnus, and he turns to see her expression of pure shock on her face. Wordlessly, Magnus shifts out of his seat to let Isabelle out, and he moves back into place, now sitting next to Clary, as Isabelle moves forward to right in front of the stage area.

Simon’s looking right at her now, eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “Izzy, I love you so much. You’re smart, and witty, and awesome, and gorgeous, and way out-of-my-league and, God, I love you. So, this one’s for you. And you won’t be able to mouth along to this one, sadly.” Simon winks, and Isabelle looks like she’s going to collapse.

The song is slower than the others, but it has a driving beat throughout it, and Magnus thinks this song is probably his favourite one that he’s heard tonight. He looks at Alec, and Alec’s expression is one of expectancy and excitement.

When the song is over, everyone in Pandemonium cheers very loudly. And, above it all, Magnus can see Isabelle crying tears of joy. Magnus can’t see her expression very well from his position, but she seems to be ecstatic.

In this moment, the weirdest feeling grips Magnus. That voice in his head is back again, that stupid seed of doubt, but Magnus can’t help but wonder why. He shakes his head, taking another long sip of his drink. Yet, he feels an impending sense of fear, and Magnus hates himself for it. Can’t he just focus on the cute couple in front of him?

Maureen keeps playing slow keyboard chords after the cheering has died down. Simon disconnects the mic from the mic stand, and steps off the lifted platform of the stage, until he’s right in front of Isabelle. They’ve managed to turn in a way that everyone at their booth can see both Simon and Isabelle in front of them.

“Izzy, you’re a wonderful girlfriend,” at this Simon, keeping his eyes on Isabelle, drops down onto one knee.

The entire club takes in one collective breath. Magnus feels like he can’t breathe.

“But I have a feeling you’d prove to be an even more beautiful wife. So, Isabelle Sophia Lightwood, what do you say? Care to prove me right and marry me?” Simon keeps one hand up to keep the mic to his mouth, his eyes never leaving Isabelle as he reaches into his hoodie pocket. He pops open the small black box, and Magnus can see from where he is that both of them are crying.

Isabelle practically jumps, hauling Simon to his feet before kissing him soundly. “Yes! Of course, yes!” she cheers.

Pandemonium erupts in a new round of cheers and applause as Simon slides the ring on Isabelle’s finger. The two of them face their booth then, both wearing matching expressions of dazed joy.

Magnus is faintly aware of Alec saying something along the lines of “knew he could do it.” But the world around Magnus seems to blur, and he blinks slowly because the stupid voice is back in his head again.

_Both of Alec’s siblings are engaged now. What if he wants to get engaged? What if seeing them get engaged makes him reevaluate his relationship with you? What if he realises he can’t see that future with you? What if you break up?_

And engagements, of course, remind Magnus of Camille.

Before he can stop himself, Magnus is stumbling out of Pandemonium, and loathing himself for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I hate angst as much as the next person, but it is an important part of the relationship I've been planning for a while. And don't worry, angst can sometimes have a habit of bringing people closer together in the end ;)
> 
> As always, thanks for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	12. Pull Me Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gives them all big hugs as usual, and he doesn’t miss Magnus’ surprise as everyone comes to hug him too. Everyone seems to be in really high spirits, especially Izzy and Simon, though Alec can understand why. But he sees Magnus’ amazed and grateful expression as Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon greet him and ask him about his day, and Alec feels incredibly happy in this moment that his family seems to love Magnus just as much as he does.
> 
> Love?
> 
> The word strikes Alec, shocking him. Is this really love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't handle the angst for long so yeah enjoy the copious amounts of fluff to make up for it :D
> 
> And as always, thank you all for all the love you've given this story. Enjoy the chapter! <3
> 
> Also quick warning, some mentions of a pretty terrible past relationship. There's not much detail but just a heads up!

Alec joins the cheers as he sees his friend and his little sister happily celebrating in the middle of Pandemonium, before he feels Jace pushing his back from behind him. Wordlessly, they all make their way to Izzy and Simon. Hugs and kisses and pats on the back are exchanged between the five of them, a flurry of excitement. Izzy and Clary practically scream as they both gaze at the ring, and Jace keeps laughing and marvelling at how Simon managed to pull off that entire thing without, as Jace puts it, “puking from nerves or some typical Lewis shit like that.”

Alec turns around, searching for those bright golden-brown eyes, but he feels concern bloom in his chest as he whips his head around the entire bar and notices that Magnus isn’t here. Alec tilts his head to the side as he thinks. Magnus had seemed fine for most of their time here. Maybe he needed to get some air. Or maybe he was feeling unwell again.

“Guys, I’m going to go. I think Magnus was feeling a little unwell, so I’m going to look for him,” Alec explains to the little huddle that has formed in the middle of the bar. He hugs everyone, kissing Izzy’s temple and whispering his congratulations, and hugging Simon tight, reassuring him that he did great. His words are rushed, and he has to admit his thoughts are elsewhere. His friends and siblings all bid him goodnight, telling Alec to send their well wishes and love to Magnus, and Izzy reminds Alec to invite him to next game night.

A part of Alec has an irrational fear that something terrible has happened to Magnus. Alec can’t help but worry, especially after what happened to Max. These sort of things always make Alec worry far more than necessary. He’s pretty sure Magnus must’ve just been feeling unwell, considering he was sick earlier this morning, but something in his gut tells Alec it’s something else. Shaking his head, he exits Pandemonium and whips out his phone. He calls Magnus, but it keeps ringing and he doesn’t pick up.

Now Alec is really concerned. Magnus is practically glued to his phone if he isn’t doing work, and surely, if he was feeling unwell, he’d at least be able to answer. Before he can stop himself, Alec is running down the street, looking everywhere he can.

“Magnus!” Alec yells. The streets surrounding Pandemonium are surprisingly quiet, and there’s nobody out here except Alec. He runs a hand through his hair as he pauses at the street corner. He happens to glance to the side, and notices that he’s right next to a small bookstore. It’s closed, but despite himself, Alec smiles slowly, and that’s when he hears the tiny sniffle.

Following the sound, Alec rounds the corner, and there before him sits Magnus. He’s huddled himself right up against the brick wall of the bookstore on the street corner, and his head is bent down. Relief crashes down over Alec, before that concern comes back in full force.

Every time Alec has ever seen Magnus, he has always seemed so put-together. From every date they’ve been on, to their morning FaceTime calls when he’s bare-faced, Magnus always seems like he’s got things under control. But now, Magnus seems so fragile. Alec bends down, and tentatively rests a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, almost as if he’s afraid that his touch will make him break.

“Magnus, what’s wrong?” Alec asks. Magnus trembles a little, and he lifts his head up at these words, turning his head slowly to face Alec. His eyes are a little watery, and Alec faintly registers that the makeup around his eyes is now a little smudged. Despite this, Magnus smiles wearily.

“Alexander, what are you doing here? You should be celebrating,” Magnus tries to chuckle, but it seems to get stuck in his throat. In response, Alec moves himself so that he’s directly across from Magnus, his gaze never leaving Magnus’ face. In total contrast, Magnus’ eyes flit down, not looking at Alec.

“Magnus, please, what’s wrong?” Alec questions again. One of his hands is still on Magnus’ shoulder, and he trails this hand down to instead place on top of Magnus’ hands that are conjoined as they wrap around his knees. With his other hand, Alec slowly reaches forward, bringing his hand under Magnus’ chin and tilting his head up. Magnus’ gaze locks on his, and this is when his feeble attempt of a smile finally falls away.

“This is just a stupid personal dilemma, Alexander,” Magnus chokes out. “I’m just being ridiculous.” He mumbles that last part as if he’s speaking to himself. Alec shakes his head firmly.

“You’re not being ridiculous, Magnus,” Alec’s thumb slowly strokes Magnus’ hand, his gaze unwavering. “Please, Magnus, you can talk to me.”

Alec feels a deep need for Magnus to understand this. Magnus has been nothing but supportive and lovely, and Alec wants to provide that same support for Magnus. From the beginning, Magnus has always been the one that’s been giving. He was the one to seek Alec out, he was the one who took them on their first date, and he was the one who instigated much of the early conversation. Magnus Bane, with his sweet charm and his ability to make Alec feel safe, always checking that Alec is alright.

Silently, Alec tells Magnus all these things in that one statement. _Please, you can talk to me. Please, you can do the taking for once. Please, I want to be here for you. Please, I hate seeing you like this._

Magnus takes a shuddering breath, exhaling slowly. A small puff of his breath forms a small cloud between them. “Alexander, sit here please,” Magnus exhales, gesturing to his side and patting the cold concrete right next to him. Alec immediately obliges, moving so that he’s sitting right next to Magnus.

Despite the cold evening and the chilly air, Alec feels warm sitting next to his boyfriend, the warmth somehow emanating from his body. Without saying anything, Alec wraps his right arm around Magnus’ body, and Magnus seems to unconsciously shift his body a little closer, turning a little more to the left. Alec doesn’t know where Magnus is looking, but he keeps his arm securely around Magnus’ body whilst the other man takes deep slow breaths.

“When I first joined the fashion industry, I wasn’t a fashion designer at all. I did marketing management for other clients,” Magnus begins. Alec can’t help but feel a little baffled that this is what Magnus wants to talk about, but he squashes down his surprise and remains silent, giving Magnus all the time he needs to talk. “That’s when I started dating Camille.”

Alec swallows down an irrational bubble of jealousy. But Magnus sounds like the name in itself is a curse to say, and he takes a couple of deep breaths before he continues.

“Camille was a bitch but at the time, I don’t know, I was enamoured with her. We’d been friends before we started dating. She was beautiful, and tough, and sharp. But she was also rude, and dismissive, and unsupportive and toxic. Everyone told me she was bad news, but I still stayed. I even thought I was in love with her,” Magnus laughs darkly. “She would always... do things, without checking if they were ok with me. And she always knew how to make me feel uncomfortable, reprimanding me, if I wasn’t following what she wanted or if I wasn’t listening to her.”

Alec leans back on the brick wall behind him. Anger mixes with pain in his gut, because he _hates_ how broken Magnus sounds talking about this woman. Alec has never really hated a person, but he decides in that moment that he hates Camille. He holds Magnus even tighter against him.

 _This is why Magnus is always checking if everything is ok with me,_ Alec can’t help but think. _Because he knows what it’s like when someone doesn’t. He doesn’t want anyone to experience how uncomfortable he used to be._ His heart swells at the thought, and he drops a small kiss on Magnus’ head before he can stop himself. Magnus’ hand reaches back at this, landing on top of Alec’s hand on Magnus’ arm, and he squeezes softly, before letting his hand drop down.

“I won’t divulge the details, but it wasn’t great. But I only started having second-thoughts when I started broaching the idea of becoming a fashion designer myself. I’ve always loved the idea of aesthetics and clothing, and being surrounded by the industry made me want it so much more,” Magnus continues. “That was two years ago. I showed the designs to Camille, and she laughed at me. Said it was dumb to try and change careers, try and be something as ridiculous as a fashion designer.”

Alec knows he shouldn’t say anything, but he shows his support by bringing his free hand closer to his lap. Wordlessly, Magnus grabs it. His rings dig lightly into Alec’s skin as Magnus clutches onto his hand, and Alec finds the sensation surprisingly grounding. Without this, Alec fears he’ll explode from rage and anger. But he knows that now, Magnus just needs him here. So he keeps his mouth shut and his posture steady.

“So I did collaboration work with Ragnor, and I tried to stick with marketing. But Camille started acting more distant. I couldn’t help but wonder why. I had listened to her, and her praise at my choice made me feel better. I even thought I was at the point where I could _propose_ ,” Magnus’ tone is incredulous, as if, looking back, he seriously can’t believe it. “Maybe I thought proposing could be the way to bring her back to me. And when I came to her apartment to surprise her with the ring, I found her in bed with another man.” At these words, Magnus’ voice hardens, but his grip on Alec tightens.

“Suddenly, it became crystal clear to me what everyone had been telling me for years. And I left. And, more out of spite and heartbreak, I started designing. I did the switch, began working towards becoming a proper designer in my own right,” Magnus’ tone begins to lift at this, but he shudders against Alec and buries his head a little closer to Alec’s chest. His voice comes out a little muffled as he continues. “But it seriously messed me up, Alexander. She broke my stupid heart.”

At this, Magnus finally seems to gain enough strength to prop himself up, until he’s upright, facing Alec. Their hands are still conjoined, and Alec retracts his arm, bringing his other hand to hold Magnus’ so that they’re holding each other. Alec has a feeling that they’re reaching the point that Magnus has been trying to make.

“Believe me, Alexander, when I tell you that heartbreak is not a good look for me,” Magnus chuckles a little, which makes Alec feel a little better. “But Camille is now nothing to me but a reminder. A reminder to not move too fast, a reminder that heartbreak can so easily come from anywhere.”

Alec immediately brings one of his hands up to his face, thoughts flying everywhere as worry seizes him. “Do you think we’re moving too fast? Magnus, if I’ve been pressuring you or something, or if you think we’re going too fast, I’m so sorry. Oh God, Magnus, I-” Alec’s rambling is silenced as Magnus turns his head to the side to kiss Alec’s palm that rests on his face. For the first time since they’ve been out here, Magnus smiles. Not in that fragile way that provides some sort of facade, but a genuine small smile.

“Alexander, you’ve been nothing but amazing,” Magnus chuckles. “You’re not allowed to apologise because you have nothing to apologise for. This is an issue to do with me, not you. I was hoping not to burden you with all this information, but when I saw Isabelle and Simon, something in me just couldn’t handle it.”

Alec shakes his head, and he thumbs away a tear that begins to trail down Magnus’ face. “Nothing you could say would ever make you a burden, Magnus. I’m proud of you for telling me this. But I want you to know, you can tell me anything you need to. It’s always important to talk about these things.” Alec can’t help but recall their date to Pandemonium from a while ago. Alec hopes he’s able to provide that same support that Magnus had been able to that fateful Wednesday.

That bright beaming smile of Magnus’ is back, and he laughs. “Oh, Alexander. You are unlike anyone I’ve ever known. Maybe talking about it was actually the right thing to do, because I feel a lot better, thanks to you,” Magnus whispers quietly. Alec realises that they’ve managed to move closer to each other, their faces so close. Magnus shifts forward, and Alec closes his eyes just in time as Magnus’ mouth touches his. There is gratitude, there is joy, there is awe in this kiss. Alec softly plies open Magnus mouth with his tongue, and Magnus gasps softly as they kiss each other slowly in the cold quiet night.

When Magnus moves away, Alec is happy to see that his eyes don’t look as watery. “I’m sorry. I realise now that I should’ve told you all this sooner. And before you say anything, I _know_ you’re nothing like Camille, Alexander. You’re incredible. I’m sorry for acting like this.”

Alec blushes even now, because no matter what, Magnus always manages to slip a compliment in. But he shakes his head firmly as he looks at Magnus. “No need for apologies, Magnus. Thank you for telling me this.” With that, the two of them reach forward and hug each other, Magnus burying his face in Alec’s neck and letting out a deep sigh. Alec rubs his back slowly, feeling so blessed in this moment for meeting Magnus Bane. And he’s incredibly happy that Magnus was comfortable enough to share this, and happy for Magnus at being able to admit all this to Alec.

When they break apart from their hug, Magnus glances around the corner of the store, back in the direction of Pandemonium. “I feel terrible, I literally ran away from the cutest proposal I’ve ever seen,” Magnus sighs loudly. Alec chuckles quietly.

“Don’t worry, I told them you were feeling unwell and must’ve left. But Magnus, they all fucking love you,” Alec chuckles. “That makes me insanely happy.”

Magnus smirks in Alec’s direction, and Alec is incredibly happy to see that smug expression on his face. “Of course they all fucking love me. Have you met me?” Magnus seems to laugh, albeit a little weakly, his cocky little joke somehow making Alec feel lightheaded.

So he looks at Magnus, trying to convey his sincerity as he leans forward and pecks Magnus on the mouth quickly. “Yeah, I have,” Alec answers a little breathlessly. Magnus seems a little surprised by his genuine words, and Alec now knows why he always seems shocked to receive a compliment. He’s not used to it.

Alec knows now that he’s never going to stop until Magnus can see just wonderful he is for himself.

~

The days rush by, Alec going through the routines of work, writing, talking to his friends and siblings and finding time to spend with Magnus. Before he knows it, it’s approaching the middle of December, and in the middle of work on Friday afternoon, Alec suddenly remembers that he needs to invite Magnus to game night, or else face the wrath of Izzy and Clary. But more than that, Alec really wants Magnus to come. He hopes deep down that Magnus’ schedule will allow him a chance to come.

Checking that there’s no one outside, Alec quickly enters the office, keeping an ear out in case he hears the bell ring if anyone enters. He tries ringing Magnus first, but it keeps ringing through. He must be at work right now. Quickly, Alec sends a quick text message to let Magnus know.

 **Alec [4.19pm]:** _this is rlly short notice, but if you’re free this evening, want to come to game night?_

After the proposal almost a week ago, Magnus has been adamant at getting another chance to properly hang out with Alec’s family. He keeps on reassuring Magnus that everything is alright, but he also feels incredibly pleased that Magnus wants to really integrate himself.

Alec gets a response nearly an hour later, and the words bring a big smile to Alec’s face.

 **Magnus [5.07pm]:** _That sounds wonderful, Alexander. Thank goodness I am free, I would love to come along!_

Alec can feel Magnus’ excitement in those words, and he quickly responds, letting Magnus know that, when he closes up at 6pm, he’ll pick Magnus up from the Herondale Institute Fashion building and they can walk together to the subway station. This is why it surprises him when, barely 10 minutes later, he spots Magnus Bane outside the shop window. Magnus looks in, spots Alec staring at him, and gives him a bright smile and a small wave in response to Alec’s perplexed expression.

Alec feels a strange sense of deja vu, seeing Magnus outside of Elderwood’s window. A month ago, they had been in this exact same position, Alec staring at Magnus from inside the store, and Magnus looking back. If only Alec had known how things would change over the course of that month. When the bell tinkles as Magnus opens the door, there’s an open expression of wonder and joy on his face that has Alec feeling that Magnus has also relived the memory of their first encounter.

Walking briskly up to where Alec is, Magnus quickly and chastely kisses Alec over the counter. His lips still feel cool from outside, and Alec finds the sensation sending shivers down his spine as they pull apart.

“Magnus, I really wouldn’t have minded picking you up,” Alec begins, but Magnus smirks in a way that has the rest of Alec’s words lodging themselves in his throat.

“Nonsense. My last meeting finished just then, and I know you don’t close until 6. We can leave together when you’re finished,” Magnus chuckles softly, his eyes lighting up. Alec smiles softly at him, so incredibly grateful that Magnus Bane caught his eye, that Magnus caught him staring, that fateful Saturday. Had that really been just a month ago? Alec could swear it’s felt like so much longer.

So Alec just nods, letting out a quiet “ok” before he allows himself a moment of weakness as he grabs Magnus by the lapels of his jacket to kiss him soundly on the mouth. Magnus seems a little surprised, but he kisses Alec back immediately, indulging in the moment.

The sound of the bell tinkling is what shocks them apart, and Alec is happy to see that elusive faint blush tinting Magnus’ cheeks. Not like that negates the fact that Alec is blushing too. When Alec notices the customer, he chuckles slowly and directs Magnus to come behind the counter. He looks a little surprised for a second, eyes widening before he nods and walks around until he’s standing right next to Alec.

“Ah, the other side of the counter,” Magnus looks out of the shop window from where they stand, where the street beyond is faintly illuminated by the Christmas lights outside. “I must be pretty hot to have caught your attention from so far away.”

Alec scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment as Magnus laughs loudly. Magnus must notice, because he turns to look at Alec deep in the eyes. “Yeah, we-well, you are,” Alec stutters, and Magnus beams at that. Suddenly he doesn’t feel embarrassed. Sure, staring at a stranger had been embarrassing to him at the time, but look where it led him? To this beautiful man standing across from him now, smiling brightly and kissing Alec’s cheek at his words.

Alec would go through a million different embarrassing scenarios just to end up at this point.

“You can wait in the office for a bit if you want. There’s a cupboard and you can grab a snack if you want from there,” Alec gestures to the small door behind him. Magnus follows the direction, blinking adorably at Alec before he enters the office.

“How is it so neat in here?” Alec hears Magnus question out loud from behind the office door. He can’t help but laugh at that disbelieving tone.

“Alexander?” the question comes a moment later. Alec turns to see Magnus peeking out from behind the office door, something that Alec finds seriously cute. When Magnus throws something to him, he catches it to see that it’s a chocolate bar from the cupboard, and he grins broadly and his heart bursts in his chest. Magnus just smirks back, taking a bite of his own chocolate bar.

“Thanks, Magnus,” Alec chuckles. Magnus just winks back before he disappears back into the office.

Alec is struck with the strongest feeling of gratitude and... something else he can’t place. It washes over him like a tidal wave. He imagines Magnus sitting down in the office just behind him, probably scrolling through a meeting outline or searching up inspiration, because the man loves his work. And he feels the overwhelming urge to leave the counter, to burst through the door and kiss the man inside senseless. Opening the chocolate bar, he takes a bite slowly, and he thinks about how selfless Magnus Bane is, about how he didn’t even need to think twice about getting something for Alec. This weird feeling makes his stomach swoop, makes him feel a little dizzy, and Alec struggles as he tries to think of a name for it.

He’s still contemplating all this when he notices it’s time to start cleaning up before closing. The sound of him moving away to the nearest shelf must alert Magnus, because he pops his head out of the office and questions what’s going on.

“I’m just cleaning and getting ready to close up. I’ll call you out when it’s 6,” Alec explains, but Magnus shakes his head and immediately walks out of the office until he’s right next to where Alec stands.

“Let me help,” Magnus whispers quietly. Alec is ready to argue, ready to retort, ready to reassure Magnus that closing really isn’t that laborious of a task, is something that he can handle himself, but he sees Magnus’ pleading expression and all-too-easily relents under his gaze. Nodding slowly, Alec directs Magnus on what to do. The jobs in preparation for closing are really simple, and Magnus easily helps him clean and pack-up.

In record time, the store is ready for closing. When the clock strikes 6, the two of them exit Elderwood, hand-in-hand, and after Alec locks up, the two of them walk to the subway station. Magnus explains more about how work is going, explaining in-depth about how Ragnor has been trying to butt in recently with what’s been happening.

“But it’s really important to me that these are _my designs._ I don’t know, is that selfish of me?” Magnus seems genuinely concerned, eyes flitting to Alec’s face questioningly.

“No, it’s not selfish. This line is your voice, Magnus. It’s your chance to do what you love,” Alec argues. Magnus nods, a satisfied smile on his face, his golden-brown eyes glowing with affection and something else Alec can’t put his finger on.

“You should meet him. Ragnor. And Cat and Raphael too,” Magnus suddenly muses out-loud as they approach the station. “I’ve already met your family, and I really want you to meet mine. Is that ok?”

Alec wishes to take away all the hesitancy Magnus feels by quickly pecking Magnus on the cheek. He gasps in surprise, and Alec beams at how he’s able illicit such a sound from the beautiful man next to him. “Sounds perfect,” Alec whispers, and the two of them turn to face each other, Magnus expression conveying his amazement and his happiness that Alec himself feels.

They fill their subway ride with discussions of Christmas plans. Alec explains how he’s having lunch with Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon, and Magnus talks about how he’ll enjoy lunch with Ragnor, Catarina and Raphael.

“So both our evenings are free, then,” Magnus whispers, leaning close. Alec can’t suppress the small shudder that runs through him as he feels Magnus’ breath against his ear.

“Looks like it,” Alec chuckles, though it comes out a little breathier than normal, and Alec doesn’t miss how Magnus’ eyes darken a fraction. They’re pressed pretty close together in the subway carriage, a lot of other people pressing in considering it’s peak rush hour as everyone heads home from work.

Magnus licks his lips as he looks up at Alec through his lashes, and Alec feels desire knot within his stomach upon witnessing the heat behind Magnus’ gaze. He smirks at Alec as if he knows what effect he has, and then Alec wants to scream because _of course Magnus knows._

“That’s pretty convenient, right?” Magnus asks lowly. Alec tries to recall for a moment what the conversation is about before he vaguely remembers Christmas.

“Uh, yeah, well...”Alec wants to kick himself. He thought that after a month, he would be better at this whole flirting teasing thing. Magnus is a natural, though to be fair, he seems to be a natural at everything. Meanwhile, whilst Alec has come leaps and bounds from his awkwardness at the start of their relationship, things like this still make him flustered and unable to stop blushing. He knows for a fact that he must be blushing right now.

“Maybe we could do something for Christmas evening then?” Magnus asks, and Alec is nodding his head dumbly in response because he doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth again. Magnus beams then, and he leans ever so closer, leaning right next to Alec’s ear.

“Sounds perfect,” Magnus whispers, and it takes every bit of self-control within Alec to stop himself from moaning at the feeling of Magnus pressed against him and whispering in his ear. And just like that, the warm presence is gone as Magnus begins to squeeze his way out of the subway, and that’s when it finally registers to Alec that they’re at his stop.

“You remember my stop?” Alec recalls that day around three weeks ago, after their second date. The day they’d officially started their relationship. The combination of Magnus remembering and his own sweet memories cause Alec to smile, and he still feels warm inside from their time in the subway carriage.

“I have impeccable memory when it comes to you, Alexander,” Magnus explains as they both manage to get off the station platform, hands finding each other with no preamble as their hands interlock as they walk together. True to his words, Magnus doesn’t need any help in remembering where Alec’s apartment is, and the two of them stroll along in comfortable silence as they enjoy the walk in the chilly evening.

When they enter the apartment, Alec directs Magnus to order from whichever takeaway menu he wants that is tacked up on Alec’s fridge as Alec rushes to turn on the heater and begin clearing up the apartment. Alec quickly buzzes around the apartment, clearing up before alerting Magnus that he’s going to have a quick shower.

Alec tries not to get lost in his thoughts and memories as he stands under the hot spray. That small knot of desire flares up as he thinks about Magnus’ words and his tone and his hard body pressed against him in the subway.

The most the two of them have ever done is make out a lot. They’ve never even seen each other shirtless (though Alec has to admit he’s thought about what Magnus looks like under all his clothes _a lot_ ). But Alec would never risk pushing Magnus, especially after learning about how terribly he had been treated in his last relationship. With this in mind, he manages to turn his mind to other thoughts as he quickly washes himself. He rushes out of the shower, dries off and changes in record time.

Exiting his bedroom, he’s surprised to find Magnus standing near the corkboard. His back is facing Alec, but he’s already pretty certain about what Magnus is looking at. Quietly, Alec moves forward and he wraps his arms around Magnus’ middle, his chest hitting Magnus’ back. Magnus leans back into the touch, a manicured hand reaching out to touch one of Alec’s newest photos on the corkboard.

“We look cute,” Magnus murmurs quietly. Alec rests his chin on Magnus’ shoulder and nods slightly.

“Yeah, we do,” Alec agrees. The picture they’re looking at is a selfie that the two of them took a week ago. The two of them are holding coffee mugs from their date to Taki’s Coffee Joint, which was quickly becoming a favourite for Alec after stumbling upon it weeks ago. They smile brightly at the camera in the picture, and Alec can’t help but mirror the expression. “But I think this picture is better,” Alec adds, stretching an arm from Magnus’ waist to point to another picture he tacked up a while ago. Magnus’ gaze follows Alec’s gesture, and he gasps quietly.

It’s a candid picture of Magnus in the snow from the day the two of them had first exchanged book recommendations. Magnus is glancing at the book Alec had given him, eyes wide and expression open. Something about Magnus in the moment had struck Alec, and he had sneakily taken the picture whilst Magnus had been distracted. Maybe it was the curious awe in his golden-brown eyes, or the way he’d seemed so excited at Alec’s idea of book recommendations, or how the bright snow fluttering around brought out his dark hair and colourful clothing.

Alec still can’t believe how lucky he is to call this beautiful man his boyfriend.

“You’re a sweet man, Alexander,” Magnus hums quietly. In response, Alec turns his head slightly from where it sits on Magnus’ shoulder and drops a kiss on his neck. One kiss, then another. And another. Magnus slowly turns in Alec’s arms, before they’re facing each other again, and Alec really can’t stop himself from continuing to kiss down Magnus’ neck. Magnus just tilts his head to the side, giving Alec better access to keep raining kisses down, and when he lets out a breathy moan, Alec tightens his grip around his waist, bringing their bodies impossibly closer.

The sound of the intercom finally reaches Alec in his daze, and reluctantly, the two of them separate as they both make their way to the front door. Alec lets everyone into the building, and moments later, four people burst into his apartment.

Alec gives them all big hugs as usual, and he doesn’t miss Magnus’ surprise as everyone comes to hug him too. Everyone seems to be in really high spirits, especially Izzy and Simon, though Alec can understand why. But he sees Magnus’ amazed and grateful expression as Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon greet him and ask him about his day, and Alec feels incredibly happy in this moment that his family seems to love Magnus just as much as he does.

_Love?_

The word strikes Alec, shocking him. Is this really love? Not that Alec really has a point of reference. He’s never considered himself to be in love before.

But before he can ruminate on this, Izzy’s voice shocks him out of his thoughts. “Thank fuck, Alec. I really thought you’d forget to invite him again,” Izzy laughs. Alec nods to himself. Yep, she’s definitely a little tipsy already.

“What food did you guys get?” Clary asks as they all make their way to the living room.

Before Alec can say anything, Magnus chuckles, “That’s a surprise. Hopefully we all like it.”

The six of them spend time chatting, and Magnus seems to enthrall the entire room with his travel stories. When the intercom buzzes for the delivery, Alec gets up from his place next to Magnus on the couch and walks over to buzz the delivery man in. When he opens the door moments later, he’s hit with a mix of aromas as the delivery man gives Alec the food. When Alec attempts to pay the man, he shakes his head and says that the food has already been paid for before leaving.

Alec makes a mental note to reprimand Magnus later, though he can’t help but feel thankful.

Jace is up in a flash. “Thai food? Thank God, great choice Magnus,” Jace cheers as he rushes to Alec to help carry all the containers. The others mirror cheers of happiness, and Magnus just chuckles quietly at the praise.

They continue to chat idly as they enjoy their dinner, Izzy constantly chucking Magnus questions about the line. But he keeps his lips sealed and doesn’t reveal anything, much to the bemusement of the others. As all of them throw their heads back in laughter at one of Magnus’ jokes, Alec can’t help but feel that Magnus really belongs here. He fits into their little makeshift family perfectly, and that can’t make Alec happier.

The happiness is short-lived when Izzy recalls that Alec said they’d have a Just Dance rematch tonight. Alec curses the fact that Izzy seems to have impeccable memory, even when she’s drunk. Clary yells in agreement, and Jace growls about how he’s going to thrash Simon this time. Simon just shrugs, the only one that seems a little opposed to a rematch, though Alec reckons this is because he wants to avoid the wrath of the competitive others.

Alec turns to Magnus. “What do you think of Just Dance?” Alec asks him. Magnus just shrugs.

“Never played it before, but sounds fun,” Magnus chuckles, already standing up to begin clearing up the takeaway containers. Alec is up immediately, stretching a hand out to stop him, but Magnus sends him a pointed look. “I can clean up the food, and you can set up Just Dance.” Alec really can’t argue with that logic, so he moves over to the TV to set-up the Wii whilst Magnus goes to the kitchen. When the door between the living room and the kitchen is closed and Magnus is out of earshot, Izzy squeals.

“You’re so whipped, big brother,” Izzy teases, and Alec blushes at that, trying to ignore her as he fiddles with his TV box. The others seem to laugh in agreement.

“He’s a keeper, though,” Jace adds thoughtfully after, which surprises Alec, considering how drunk Jace is already. Another moment of clarity, it seems.

“You think I don’t know that?” Alec questions jokingly, pressing the button on the Wii box and putting Just Dance in. He bends down to open the cupboard under the TV and gets out four remotes, handing them out to the four before him before settling onto the couch.

Alec thinks about that word again. _Love._ And he can’t help but wonder...

Magnus comes out a moment later, and promptly settles himself next to Alec, smiling softly as he grabs Alec’s hand.

“You’re in for a show,” Alec whispers to Magnus as Clary and Jace argue over which song to do.

“We’ve done that song a million times!” Clary argues, but Jace just sticks out his tongue.

“Simon thrashed me in that one though, and I have to beat him,” Jace retorts. Eventually, Izzy snatches the first-player remote off Jace and picks a random song.

As they play, Alec and Magnus roll on the couch with laughter as they observe the other four attempting to dance to an obscure remixed version of a song in another language. Eventually, Simon comes out victorious again. Alec finds the disparity in scores between Simon’s five stars and the others with only three absolutely hilarious, especially considering how he’s been unable distinguish any dance moves the four of them have attempted. Maybe if Izzy, Jace and Clary were sober, they could do better.

“Ok, Magnus, you need to have a turn,” Izzy drawls, tossing her Wii remote in their direction. Magnus catches it easily in one hand, and Alec doesn’t know why, but for some reason, he finds the action seriously hot.

“Alright, but fair warning. I’ve never played before,” Magnus explains as he holds the remote loosely in his hand and faces the screen. This time, Simon picks a song, much to Jace’s irritation. Izzy and Alec sit on the couch, and Alec has to admit he’s a little curious to see how Magnus does.

Everyone else seems to fall out of focus as the song plays. Because fuck, Magnus is _a really good dancer._

It makes sense, in a way. Magnus’ movements are always so graceful and poised, and he exudes the confidence that makes the ridiculous movements from Just Dance actually look pretty epic when he dances to them. His eyes are trained on the screen, and he seems really competitive, a trait that Alec is surprisingly turned-on by. It’s no surprise to him when Magnus comes out on top, edging out Simon with a near-perfect score.

“You’re bullshitting me,” Jace grumbles. “You sure you’ve never played before?”

Magnus holds up his hands. “Honestly, never have,” Magnus whispers breathily, and _fuck_ , he sounds seriously sexy. Alec clears his throat to try and calm his thoughts, and stands up to drop a quick kiss on Magnus’ forehead.

“What are you not good at?” Alec asks in bewilderment and wonder. Magnus turns his face to look up at Alec, his eyes glowing with an emotion that Alec can’t really decipher. It’s seems to run deeper than fondness and affection, and seems to convey his joy and awe and amazement all at once. Alec is blown away by the sight.

“I’m the best at everything, obviously,” Magnus chuckles, and everyone joins in laughing at his cocky joke. Alec is the only one who doesn’t laugh along, and he just smiles lowly.

Because honestly, Alec is seriously starting to believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments or kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	13. Thanks To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love. Magnus wonders if he’s ever been in love. Once upon a time, he would’ve thought he had been in love with Camille, but he knows now that this is a joke. After telling Alexander everything, he feels like it helped him in the process of letting go. He thinks about the uncertainty of the future, but instead of being afraid of it, like he had been before, he feels invigorated by the possibilities that lie ahead. And Magnus knows, without a doubt, that this is all because of Alec.
> 
> Alec’s kind words. Alec’s supportive embraces. Alec’s cute blush that seems to constantly colour his cheeks when he’s with Magnus. Alec’s fascination with books and reading and learning. Alec’s sweet smile. Alec’s expressive hazel eyes. Alec’s strength and determination. Alec’s love and selflessness for those around him.
> 
> Alexander Lightwood never ceases to amaze him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for comments/kudos so far on this story! HERE IS A BIG VIRTUAL HUG!
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this one, so hopefully you enjoy reading it :D

December seems to blur by and, before Magnus can even realise is, it’s two days before Christmas.

Magnus is usually not the best with planning and organising presents, but he’s proud to admit that he’s managed to procure presents for almost everyone he needs to. A green satin scarf for Ragnor, which he’s been eying for months, an antique chess board for Raphael and a sapphire necklace for Catarina. He also has a holiday voucher for Lydia, because the woman needs to learn how to take a break from work for once. He’s even got gifts for Jace, a new set of dumbbells, Clary, some new fancy watercolour paints, Izzy, an exclusive piece of brand clothing he secured just for her, and Simon, a new guitar.

Magnus has to admit, he’s always been very extra when it comes to giving gifts. And he has the disposable income to give nice gifts, so why shouldn’t he? He likes to get something personalised and special, something he knows that the person will use. And he’s usually very good at pinpointing exactly what a person wants. It’s the very reason he’s done so well in his career.

That’s why it infuriates him to no end that he cannot, for the life of him, figure out what to get Alexander. 

Every time he thinks of an idea, he can’t help but think that it’s not good enough. After everything Alec has given him, all the support and hope and joy, nothing seems like it could measure up to show Magnus’ gratitude. It’s odd, because Magnus has never felt this need for something to be perfect before. Even with his own work. But for Alexander, it feels like he must do everything in his power just to bring that beautiful smile to his face.

This feeling is new. It’s profound. It’s startling.

He could easily get Alec some new books, but that present idea seems so... pedestrian. Everyone knows Alec likes reading. He owns a bookstore, of course it’s obvious. And their tastes in terms of fashion are vastly different. Alec doesn’t have any interest in makeup or jewellery, so Magnus can’t get anything in those areas.

Magnus sits on his bed, laptop propped open, and racking his brain for an idea. Isabelle had mentioned at one point that Alec used to do archery, so maybe something related to that? But Alec hasn’t participated in any archery for a while now, and Magnus also has no idea how that could possibly translate into a present idea.

Closing his eyes, Magnus tries to reflect on anything Alec has ever told him that could. He wasn’t lying when he said he had an impeccable memory in regards to Alec. Surely that can help him figure out what to get.

Magnus startles as he feels something fuzzy land on his face, and he blinks his eyes open to find Chairman Meow half-lying on his face.

“Chairman Meow!” Magnus greets cheerfully. He hasn’t seen the Chairman in a while, but here he is, looking as adorable yet grouchy as usual. “Do you happen to have any clue as to what I should get Alexander for Christmas?”

Chairman Meow just hops off of him, landing softly on the bed. He meows back, and Magnus knows that he’s not saying anything  _ really _ , but in that moment, an idea strikes him.

“Chairman Meow, you are a genius!” Magnus jokingly yells as he grabs his laptop with renewed vigour. He checks the details online, looks at prices, and even does some calls to shift his schedule around a little. By the time he’s finished everything, the sun has set outside and Magnus realises with a jolt that he needs to get ready because he’s meeting up with his friends at the Hunter’s Moon tonight.

“I owe you that fancy cat food brand you seriously like!” Magnus calls out half an hour later as he makes his way to the door to exit his apartment. He spots a blur of fur streak out of his bedroom and dash past the living room.

Giddy excitement fills him as he leaves his apartment. He has a feeling Alec’s really going to like his present.

~

“I have a feeling Alec’s not really going to like his present,” Raphael states, arms folded across his chest.

“You don’t know him as well as I do,” Magnus sticks out his tongue in Raphael’s direction. “Remember? I’m the romantic who’s good at gift ideas. Ragnor can attest to that.”

Ragnor blanches from across Magnus, and it becomes all too clear to Magnus what the issue is when Catarina’s eyebrows furrow, twisting her face into an expression of confusion.

“What do you mean, Magnus?” Cat asks. Ragnor holds a hand up in front of Magnus’ face before he can say anything, glancing down.

“Ok, I may have called Magnus just before our anniversary in search of a gift idea,” Ragnor blurts out all at once. Cat just glances in Ragnor’s direction, shaking her head slowly.

“Oh, you idiot,” Catarina chuckles fondly, much to Ragnor’s surprise. “Of course I knew you got the idea from Magnus. You would  _ never  _ have been able to come up with it yourself.”

Ragnor looks seriously offended. “I could’ve easily come up with it!” he retorts in irritation.

Cat just rolls her eyes. “Please. A scrapbook of our memories together for the last 10 years? With all the fancy decorating crap? That idea just screams Magnus,” Cat argues. Ragnor is stunned and can’t bring himself to say anything else, and Raphael just nods slowly. With that, Cat turns to Magnus, expression softening. “It was a lovely idea, Magnus. So thank you.”

Magnus rounds on Raphael again, pointing at the couple across from them in triumph. “Look, I’m good with present ideas! Exhibit A,” Magnus waves his arms in the general direction of Ragnor and Catarina. “Anyways, Alexander is going to  _ love _ his present, I’m sure of it.”

Raphael still doesn’t look convinced, and he squints in Magnus’ direction with an expression of doubt. “Sounds like this Alexander is a bit of a workaholic. What if he doesn’t want to miss work?”

Magnus shakes his head. “Already covered. He doesn’t work on Mondays, so it’ll just be a two-day, one-night trip and he’ll be back Monday evening,” Magnus feels the urge to once again stick out his tongue.

Raphael groans. “Ok, but what about your schedule?”

“Already moved around a few things so I’ll be free both days,” Magnus explains, laughing quietly.

“What if he doesn’t like it as much as you think he will?” Raphael questions, raising an eyebrow. Magnus pauses, mulling it over. Personally, he thinks it’s a wonderful idea, and something that Alexander will truly appreciate.

“As I said, you don’t know him as well as I do. I think he’ll love it,” Magnus whispers quietly, thoughts drifting to Alec’s open honest eyes and his bright smile that lights up his entire face. He can’t help but smile softly at the mental image.

“Not like we’ve met the guy or anything,” Raphael grumbles, and all at once, Magnus understands what Raphael has really been trying to hint at. At that, he chuckles quietly.

“Don’t worry guys, I definitely want all of you to meet him. You’ll all love him,” Magnus reassures his three friends around him. Wordlessly, the three of them share a look that Magnus can’t truly decipher. He opens his mouth again to ask about it when Catarina smirks at him.

“Like how you love him?” Cat asks, drawling out the word “love,” and that expression is on her face again. Like some kind of knowing smile, bordering on teasing. Magnus glances around him to find Raphael and Ragnor wearing matching expressions, which is definitely a rarity. Both the fact that all three of them can agree on something, and the fact that Raphael is smiling in any way, shape or form in the first place.

All at once, the connotations behind Cat’s words strike him, and Magnus’ eyes widen. He opens his mouth, but then he just dumbly closes it when he realises that he’s speechless.

Love. Magnus wonders if he’s ever been in love. Once upon a time, he would’ve thought he had been in love with Camille, but he knows now that this is a joke. After telling Alexander everything, he feels like it helped him in the process of letting go. He thinks about the uncertainty of the future, but instead of being afraid of it, like he had been before, he feels invigorated by the possibilities that lie ahead. And Magnus knows, without a doubt, that this is all because of Alec.

Alec’s kind words. Alec’s supportive embraces. Alec’s cute blush that seems to constantly colour his cheeks when he’s with Magnus. Alec’s fascination with books and reading and learning. Alec’s sweet smile. Alec’s expressive hazel eyes. Alec’s strength and determination. Alec’s love and selflessness for those around him.

Alexander Lightwood never ceases to amaze him.

“Oh my goodness,” Magnus takes a stuttering deep breath, his heart racing in his chest. Because, now, it finally sinks in. He’d been an idiot, needing to be goaded by his friends to figure it out, but he’s finally realised. “You’re all right.” And the teasing expressions they all share melt into bright genuine smiles, and Magnus feels like he’s lost his breath.

“You’re a real idiot, Bane,” Ragnor whispers, but there’s no malice behind his words. Magnus just nods dumbly, having lost the ability to speak.

“Ok, now we  _ have  _ to meet him,” Cat laughs brightly.

Raphael leans in. “And for the record, he already sounds infinitely better than the high-heeled bitch,” he adds.

Magnus nods again, unable to find the words. But he knows, he already knows this. All this. So he just smiles brightly, lifting his drink up, and the four of them toast wordlessly.

Ragnor is right. He has been an idiot. Cat is right. Magnus definitely needs to introduce Alec to them at some point. And Raphael is right. Alec is way better than Camille ever was.

In fact, Alexander Lightwood may just be the best thing that’s ever happened to Magnus’ life.

~

“Merry Christm- Is that a suitcase?” Alec’s bewildered question greets Magnus as he opens the door to his apartment. Magnus sighs, heaving it into Alec’s apartment and avoiding Alec’s attempts to take it off him. Magnus groans as he finally lets go of the suitcase and gently puts down the bag on his back. When he rights himself, he hears people in the living room loudly greet him.

“Magnus! Merry Christmas!” Simon and Isabelle get up, walking over and immediately swooping in to hug him. Magnus hugs them back gratefully, a tiny part of him still feeling a little guilty for how he acted at their proposal, but as they ask him how his Christmas has been and recounting their own lunch, the residual negative feelings dissipate.

Alec is immediately by his side, pulling Magnus into his arms and kissing him lightly on the head. Magnus beams up at him. Still in Alec’s arms, he turns to face Simon and Isabelle.

“Did I keep you guys waiting long?” Magnus asks with concern, eyes flitting back to the suitcase and bag near them. Both of them shake their heads.

“We were just about to go now, so this is good timing,” Simon assures him. “That’s so nice of you to get us presents, Magnus.”

Magnus shakes his head. “It’s no problem. I can give you your presents now, and leave Clary’s and Jace’s here for them to get later,” Magnus slowly disentagles himself from Alec’s embrace as he moves over to the haul he has. He gestures to the large bag, which is shaped in a way that leaves no room to the imagination as to what is concealed inside.

“A guitar? Magnus, thank you so much!” Simon laughs brightly as he takes the bag, pulling Magnus into another half-hug whilst somehow managing to cradle the giant item in his other arm. Magnus bends down, opening the suitcase and lifting out the bag with the silver dress inside that he got for Isabelle.

Isabelle practically shrieks when she grabs the bag and glances inside. “Magnus, you didn’t!” she yells in total disbelief. “Is this from Ragnor Fell’s upcoming line?”

“Well, being close friends with him has its perks,” Magnus winks. Isabelle jumps, dropping the bag on the floor and hugging him tightly.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Isabelle shouts her gratitude, and Magnus squeezes her back. As she reels back, chuckling as she shows the contents to Simon, Alec leans down.

“That was really sweet of you. Thank you so much. You really didn’t have to,” Alec whispers, hazel eyes shining. Magnus just shakes his head.

“I wanted to,” Magnus affirms, leaning forward and pecking his boyfriend on the lips. His heart stutters in his chest as he sees Alec’s grateful expression, amazement and contentment and something else Magnus can’t place in his soft gaze.

“Don’t think we didn’t get you a present, Magnus,” Isabelle’s words shock Magnus out of his thoughts, and he turns to see Simon whip out a box from seemingly out of nowhere. “Open it now!” With these words, Simon hands over the box to Magnus. It’s black, sleek and shiny, and Magnus wonders what in the world it could be.

When he opens the box, his eyes widen in surprise. “Wow, I haven’t owned an  _ Alicante _ watch in a while,” Magnus whispers. His last one had been broken two months ago, and Magnus had been inconsolable all week. He hadn’t been able to find the motivation or time to buy another one. He looks up to find Isabelle beaming.

“You mentioned it in one of your interviews a while ago as your favourite, right? I just noticed you didn’t have a watch when we met, so we’re hoping you still like the brand?” Isabelle looks at Magnus with uncertainty, and at this, Magnus just beams, before moving forward to hug the two of them again. He can’t help but marvel at the woman’s observance skills.

“I love it, thank you so much,” Magnus sighs as they separate. He gets a proper look at it, and he’s blown away. The design is navy and silver, the watch face large enough to make a statement, but not too big that it looks comical. Quietly, he takes it out of the box and slips it on his wrist.

“Glad you like it. Clary and Jace are going to give you something too, don’t worry,” Simon chuckles, before he glances down at his own watch. “Oh shoot, Iz, we have to go,” Simon mutters. Quickly, Isabelle and Simon grab their things, holding onto their presents with matching expressions of joy, and with one last hug to both Magnus and Alec, they exit the apartment.

Just as they leave, Isabelle yells out something that Magnus doesn’t quite catch. Alec just nods, seeming to have heard, glancing to the side, as the couple leave.

Magnus wants to ask what Isabelle could be talking about, but before he can, Alec looks over at the suitcase that remains open, chuckling. “What are those giant boxes?” he asks curiously. Magnus turns to face his boyfriend and laughs.

“One of them is Jace’s dumbbell set, which is really fucking heavy, if I might add. And the other is Clary’s fancy watercolour set I got,” Magnus explains, bending down to put the two boxes on Alec’s coffee table. “Could you give it to them when you can?”

Alec just nods, and when he sees Magnus close the suitcase, Magnus doesn’t miss the hurt that crosses his face. Chuckling quietly, Magnus reaches up and winds his hands around Alec’s neck before leaning forward, eyes fluttering shut as he kisses the taller man. Alec’s arms immediately wrap around Magnus’ waist as he opens his mouth, and upon the first contact of their tongues, they both let out low moans. Magnus leans up, pushing his body further against Alec, and he’s rewarded with the sound of Alec letting out a quiet whimper.

Magnus tilts his head and begins to kiss along Alec’s neck, before latching onto his pulse point and sucking lightly. Alec lets out a guttural groan at that, and the sound makes all other thoughts fly out of Magnus’ head. As he continues his ministrations, he feels Alec’s hands move until they settle on Magnus’ hips. His thumb starts rubbing at the exposed skin between Magnus’ shirt and pants, and the sensation finally reminds Magnus of what he needs to do.

Regretfully, Magnus leans back, and he’s happy to see Alec’s expression as he opens his eyes. He looks like he wants to devour Magnus on the spot. In all honesty, Magnus probably wouldn’t mind.

Nevertheless, Magnus smirks as he whips out a single envelope and hands it over to Alec. A question in his hazel eyes, Alec slowly opens up the envelope. His jaw drops when he reveals the contents of the envelope, eyes widening to an almost comical size.

“Magnus, I can’t accept this,” Alec immediately is shoving the envelope back into Magnus’ grasp, but Magnus just shakes his head resolutely.

“Yes, you can. It’s already all been taken care of,” Magnus pushes the envelope back in Alec’s direction.

“Magnus, plane tickets? How expensive must these have been?” Alec questions, and even though he’s holding onto the envelope now, his arms are waving around wildly. Magnus finds the sight oddly hilarious.

“Don’t worry, Alexander. I have a lot of money on hand, and I used some of my frequent flier miles, if you’re seriously concerned about costs,” Magnus steps forward, doubt beginning to creep in. “Why? Do you not like it?”

Alec’s expression morphs into one Magnus can’t really decipher. He reaches forward and kisses Magnus soundly on the mouth. “Like it? Magnus, I  _ love it. _ I mean, I’ve never even been on a plane before! I just - This is so much.”

_ It’s enough for the one I love, _ Magnus almost says. But he bites his tongue, considering how overwhelmed Alexander already is. Instead, he just reaches an arm up to hold onto Alec’s shoulder.

“If you love it, then please accept it Alexander. I’ve planned it for the days you’re not working. Do you have a passport?” Magnus questions. Alec just nods silently, his face still showing his disbelief and awe. “Fantastic. So, what do you say? Please, Alexander, it will be amazing, believe me.”

Alec looks like he wants to argue again, but he must see the adoration and hope in Magnus’ gaze because he shuts his mouth and moves forward, practically tackling Magnus with a hug. He buries his face in Magnus’ neck, gripping him tightly.

“You’re too good for me,” Alec’s words are muffled as he whispers them against Magnus’ neck, but he hears it nonetheless. Magnus’ heart swells as Alec pulls back, his hazel eyes glowing with something that Magnus believes may even be love.

Could it be possible?

“Nonsense,” Magnus teases. “In fact, I believe that you, Alexander, are too good for me,” he adds, certainty punctuating every word he speaks.

Alec’s gaze flicks downwards, and that beautiful blush is back. “Man, your gift is amazing, Magnus. Mine really sucks in comparison,” Alec frowns. Magnus feels the deep need to change that.

“Alexander, you’re the best gift a person could ask for,” Magnus states. “And whatever you got me, I’ll love it.” Alec squints at Magnus in what seems to be doubt, before he takes a deep breath in what seems like an attempt to steel himself. Slowly, Alec walks over to the little Christmas tree propped up on his kitchen island, Magnus trailing behind him, and when Alec turns around to face him, he’s holding a small bag out.

“Merry Christmas, Magnus. I’m sorry this gift isn’t nearly as amazing as yours,” Alec shrugs, handing the bag over.

“Stop saying that,” Magnus chides him, but there’s a soft smile on his face as he begins to look inside. He sees three things in the bag.

The first thing is a standard card. Magnus makes a mental note to check that later. The second thing, he extricates from the small bag slowly. It’s a small red and gold pouch with a white string attached to it. The charm is small, but it fills Magnus with a sense of surprise and wonder.

“It’s an omamori charm. It’s supposed to give you luck and protection,” Alec explains hastily. “I don’t know, I saw it at a market and I thought of you. I know it’s not nearly as cool or extravagant as a plane trip, and seriously, I wish I could get you something better. It’s just that -” Magnus can’t think of any other way to shut his boyfriend up than to kiss him roughly on the mouth.

It definitely works, and Alec looks a little dazed when Magnus pulls back.

“I love it. Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus is overwhelmed by how treasured he feels. The gift may be small, but it comes from the heart, and Alec’s open honesty in his words warm Magnus’ insides as he puts the charm safely back into the box to check out the third item.

It’s a USB stick.

“When you check what’s on the USB, then you can read the card,” Alec instructs.

“What if I want to see what’s on the USB right now?” Magnus questions, thoughts running wild in his head as he ponders what Alexander could possibly be trying to give him. Wordlessly, Alec guides Magnus to drop the USB back into the small bag and places the bag behind him on the kitchen counter. He moves forward, his arms encircling Magnus’ middle.

“But what about our evening together?” Alec asks, pouting a little bit. Damn it, he’s too cute to be true, according to Magnus. There’s mirth in those hazel eyes, and Magnus feels drawn in by the expression. It’s like he can’t resist the urge to close his eyes to move forward and kiss him.

All thoughts of USBs and cards drift out of his mind as Alec kisses him back.

~

“Alexander,” Magnus half-whines, half-moans, as he feels soft lips trace his neck. He tilts his head subconsciously to allow Alec to continue kissing him along his neck. He keeps his eyes trained on the TV in front of them, but the movie before them seems to fade out-of-focus as Magnus feels more distracted by the actions of his boyfriend. “The movie,” Magnus adds half-heartedly, eyes already slipping shut.

“We can watch the movie later,” Alec sighs against his neck, causing goosebumps to erupt along Magnus’ skin. Magnus just half turns in his position, murmuring in agreement and angling his body as close to Alec’s as possible as Alec trails kisses from his neck to along his jaw. More fluttering kisses traverse Magnus’ face, and he grins as Alec’s lips finally close-in on his own.

Wordlessly, Magnus flings his arms around Alec’s neck as he feels Alec’s arms cradling his back. His heart seems to be thundering in his chest as they push their bodies closer together. Magnus is struck with a thought, and in one graceful move, he swings one leg over Alec in a way that ends with him straddling the taller man.

“Is this ok?” Magnus asks, and he’s surprised by how husky his voice seems to sound. Alec opens his eyes, gaze dark and dazed, and nods quickly.

“Fuck yes,” Alec answers, and the words, Magnus has to admit, immediately turn him on even more. With that, they crash back together, drawn together by their own gravity. It’s a powerful force, something that makes Magnus feel incomplete without hugging Alec, kissing Alec, being with Alec. Magnus rolls his hips forward, and they both groan aloud as they grind against each other slowly. The sensations feel overwhelming to Magnus, and he can barely hold himself together as he feels one of Alec’s hands move from bracing his back until Alec’s hand rests on Magnus’ chest, right above where his heart beats.

Magnus wonders, distantly, if Alec can feel just how hard his heart is currently beating. They break apart, foreheads resting against each other, sharing the same harsh breath.

“Magnus,” Alec whispers, his breath fanning Magnus’ face. Magnus allows himself to blink his eyes open slowly, gaze focusing on where Alec’s hand rests. For a dizzy moment, Magnus thinks that something must be wrong. But then he sees Alec’s hand slowly move further up his chest until his fingers tap along the top button of Magnus’ shirt.

Magnus flicks his gaze to Alec’s face, and he sees numerous emotions warring in his expression. Desire, concern, awe, joy. Alec clears his throat softly, eyes not leaving where his hand rests on Magnus’ chest.

“Is this ok?” Alec asks, and that’s when he locks his gaze onto Magnus, hazel eyes shining brightly despite the low-lighting of the living room. His voice is low, his tone conveying his hesitancy, his amazement, his lust. Magnus knows, somehow, that Alec is asking him about his boundaries because he’s aware now, he knows what Magnus has been through, and Alec’s thoughtfulness just makes his heart swell in his chest.

“Fuck yes,” Magnus exhales, and Alec doesn’t waste a moment, surging forward once more to kiss Magnus. As Magnus bites down on his bottom lip and continues to kiss Alec, he feels Alec begin to slowly unbutton his shirt. Magnus distantly realises that Alec keeps his necklaces in place, a fact that he would laugh fondly at in any other situation.

But laughing means he would need to stop kissing Alexander, and he really doesn’t want that to happen.

When his shirt is fully unbuttoned, Magnus slowly shrugs it off. They break apart, and Magnus feels overwhelmed by the wonder in Alec’s gaze as he looks at him. There’s a slight blush colouring his cheeks again, but Magnus notices that the pupils of his eyes are large, only a thin ring of hazel visible in each.

“I’m assuming you like what you see?” Magnus teasingly questions. In response to that, Alec just nods resolutely, before he leans forward and starts kissing and biting along Magnus’ neck again. Magnus can’t stop the guttural moan that escapes his lips as Alec continues his ministrations. It’s too much, the feeling of Alec biting and sucking the skin along his neck, as well as the feeling of his hands coming forward and lightly dragging across his chest and abs, and the sensations coming from their continuous grinding. Magnus feels like he can’t think and he can’t breathe. Dizzily, he just blindly grips onto Alec’s shoulders as he feels himself drowning in sensation, hot desire coiling within his stomach.

When their mouths reconnect, they try to bring their bodies even closer together. Magnus arms snake down until his hands play with the edge of Alec’s shirt.

“Alexander,” Magnus moans loudly between their kisses, thoughts stuttering as he feels Alec’s nails lightly dragging across his chest and causing goosebumps to erupt along his skin. “Is this ok?” Magnus asks, and he continues to toy with the material of the shirt, but not moving forward until Alec tells him so.

In response, Alec stops kissing him and slowly pulls back. Before Magnus can even register it, Alec reaches down and quickly pulls his long-sleeve shirt over his head in one movement.

Magnus would never lie and say he never thought about what Alexander looked like shirtless. On the contrary, the thought had crossed his mind more times than he could count. He’s kissed Alec before, has felt how solid he is as they’ve held each other close, but seeing him is a totally different story.

He’s somehow even better than Magnus ever imagined. He sees smooth skin, light smatterings of dark chest hair, and defined muscles that Magnus so desperately wants to run his hands across.

“You’re incredible,” Magnus breathes out, because he’s never been one to hold back a compliment. And he’s rewarded with that beautiful blush, and Magnus is happy to see that the blush extends beyond his cheeks and neck.

“You’re the incredible one,” Alec sighs in return, words sincere and earnest, and they come back together again, kissing like there’s no tomorrow. Upon the first contact of their bare torsos, they both moan loudly into each other’s mouths, and Magnus can’t help but marvel at how well they fit together. Like they were made for each other.

Magnus takes the opportunity to bring his hands forward, to map every bit of newly-exposed skin with his hands. He feels hard muscle and sweat, and he lightly drags his nails along Alec’s abdomen, and is rewarded with a breathy moan from Alexander. The two of them wordlessly shift until Alec’s on his back, Magnus propping himself on top of him as they continue to kiss each other, grinding with renewed vigour.

Something shocks the both of them out of their haze, and they slowly break apart as Magnus feels something vibrating along his leg.

“Alexander, are your pants vibrating?” Magnus asks quietly. Alec groans loudly, and Magnus is happy to see how dissatisfied he is to stop making out. The two of them get up from their position, sitting next to each other as Alec reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone.

“Yes?” Alec answers, and his tone sounds a little clipped. It’s the only indication that he’s annoyed, maybe even seriously mad. The thought makes Magnus smile, though it doesn’t help him calm down his thoughts or his erection.

“Izzy, I know,” Alec speaks into the phone. “I’ve got the chicken, don’t worry, and I -” he stops speaking as Isabelle seems to interrupt him. His face transforms into one of shock, eyes widening a little comically.

“I can’t believe I forgot,” Alec says. “Ok, I’ll do it now. Yes, I know.” A pause. Alec blushes brightly. “Y-yeah, I’m going now,” he stutters out. “Love you, bye.” With that, he hangs up.

When he turns to face Magnus, his face conveys his regret. “Two things. One, I’m sorry that ruined the mood. But... if I’m being honest, I don’t know if we’re ready yet. I’m so sorry, if you really wanted -”

Magnus pecks him on the lips to shut him up. “Alexander, never, ever, apologise for telling me what you want and setting your boundaries. If I’m being honest, I don’t think we’re ready either. But that’s alright. We have all the time in the world.”

Alec smiles shortly. “You’re right. Thank you,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, and Magnus internally swoons at the idea that they’re both on the same page. They both know they have lots of time to learn, to experience, to figure things out.

Magnus tries to not have his gaze drift downward to Alec’s naked torso, keeping his gaze locked on Alec’s. “Anyways, the second thing was what Izzy just reminded me of. We kind-of planned a spontaneous Boxing Day lunch for tomorrow, and we were all wondering if you’d like to join? We’d love you to come.”

Magnus chuckles at the group’s idea of “spontaneous,” but he smiles gratefully at his boyfriend nonetheless. “Sounds perfect. I’d love to come.” And there’s the word again.  _ Love. _

Alec said it. So did Magnus. Not in the context Magnus wants it to mean, but it still makes his heart stop in his chest. And as he sees Alec’s eye-crinkling smile at his words, and as he feels the force of the hug as Alec crashes forward, and as he feels Alec bury his face into his neck, Magnus allows himself to think of the possibility that, maybe, just maybe, Alec may just love him too.

~

When Magnus enters his apartment, the first thing he does is run to his laptop to plug in that USB and figure out what Alec could’ve possibly gotten him. When he opens it, there’s a single Word file on it, titled “Thanks To You.” Curiosity overwhelms him, and he clicks the file open as he takes out the card from the bag and opens it up to read.

_ Merry Christmas Magnus. Knowing you, I bet you got a present far cooler and more extravagant than mine. It’s one of your best qualities, in my mind. How giving and charitable you are to everyone, and it blows my mind that I’m lucky enough to see that every day. _

_ Cliche as it sounds, I consider you the best possible Christmas gift. Knowing you has changed my life, in more ways than one. I find myself more open to the possibilities of the world now. How strange, considering we’ve only been together for a month. Best month of my life, in my opinion. But it’s more than that. _

_ You inspire me, Magnus. _

_ I’ll tell you a little secret that no one else knows. When I was younger, I would write stories a lot. It was a secret hobby of mine, but it was like reading to me. An escape. A chance to go to another world of my own making. But I’ve been struck with a writer’s block for years, and believe it or not, meeting you alleviated me of that writer’s block. So yes, your eccentric nature, your wit, your wonderful smile, your compassion, your everything. It inspired me to pick up a story I began writing years ago, to edit it and continue it. _

_ So thank you, Magnus. _

_ The file on the USB is what I’ve written up to the 24th. And since I know you have a great taste in literature, I would really love it if you would read it and tell me what you think. _

_ Because, as the title says, it’s all thanks to you. _

Magnus feels tears spring to his eyes as he reads the card. The words touch Magnus deeply, and he feels so overwhelmed by the kind, sweet, wonderful words from someone as incredible as Alexander Lightwood. And the idea of him inspiring Alec to write... it’s the greatest compliment. 

What can the man not do?

Whilst he is usually adorably flustered when speaking to Magnus, he knows Alec is a smart man, and he doesn’t doubt that Alec is definitely eloquent and good with words. Besides, Alec’s probably read more books than anyone else in the world. Curious, Magnus places the card on his end table, not caring at all about how late it is, and props his laptop on top of his lap.

And he reads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to edit this later with my reaction to the mid-season finale, because I won't be able to watch it until tomorrow :( I already have a feeling I will be attacked.
> 
> UPDATE: I was right, I was attacked in more ways than one. I'm legit speechless. That finale had me shook. Now we gotta wait until August arghhh!!
> 
> But anyways, thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	14. That Sounds Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec shares his story, their story. And without saying it explicitly, but with every utterance of every word, Alec tells Magnus just how much he loves him. Gosh, how had he not realised it sooner? And from the way that Magnus listens, the way he quietly interjects, and the way he never stops running his hand through Alec’s hair, Alec can’t help but think that maybe...
> 
> Alec smiles as he reads, hoping that Magnus can listen between the lines and figure it out for himself, and wondering if Magnus could possibly ever come to love Alec just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know the drill. Thank you so much for reading/commenting/kudosing (is that a verb? I've made it a verb). You guys are the best!
> 
> Cue the sappy fluffy chapter I need now that we're in hiatus-land again. Enjoy!

“I still can’t believe you almost forgot to invite him again,” Izzy grumbles as she places down the plates on the dining table. Alec shakes his head, feeling irritated himself for forgetting.

“Izzy, please. I know,” Alec groans as he follows Izzy, placing the cutlery down next to the plates. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Izzy shoots a teasing smirk in his direction. “Hope I wasn’t interrupting anything,” Izzy winks before she marches back to the kitchen. Alec wills himself to not blush.

The sound of his phone ringing jerks him into action, and he can’t help the bright smile that crosses his face when he sees the caller ID along with that rushed selfie from all those weeks ago.

“Hey Magnus,” Alec speaks into the phone as he taps answer.

“Alexander!” Magnus cheers back. Alec can’t help but marvel at the fact that Magnus always manages to sound excited at the prospect of just talking to him. He’s struck with a sense of overwhelming thankfulness at the fact that Magnus Bane is his boyfriend. “I’m just calling to let you know I’ll be pulling in soon. A few minutes?”

“Awesome,” Alec responds. “And I brought your suitcase so you can give Clary and Jace your presents yourself.”

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus replies. Alec pauses as he hears Magnus yawn loudly.

Concern immediately grips Alec, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Magnus, are you alright? Please, you shouldn’t be driving if you’re tired,” Alec advises. He knows he sounds a little over-the-top, but he can’t help his worry. After what happened to Max, he can’t help the concern.

Magnus just chuckles lightly. “Don’t you worry about me, Alexander. I’m fine, really. I just stayed up a bit. I was reading a really interesting story last night and I couldn’t stop, if I’m being honest,” Magnus replies. Alec feels his breath get caught in his throat as he detects awe and happiness in Magnus’ tone, and he knows what Magnus is talking about.

If Alec had to be honest to himself, he had felt equally ecstatic and gutted when he realised the magnitude of Magnus’ gift in comparison to his yesterday. It had been extremely difficult, trying to think of a gift for Magnus. Their tastes were so different in many areas. The idea of books had come to Alec, but Magnus’ seemed to own every book known to man in his giant library, and Alec had eventually given up on that idea.

The idea of sharing the story he had been progressively writing from the past, and had picked up over the last few weeks, had struck him on Christmas Eve. He had been writing, as a method of procrastination or stress-relief in regards to thinking of a present idea, and the idea had crept up upon him in the dimness of the night.

Starting to write again, it had been directly inspired by Alec meeting Magnus. Every feeling, every thought, every emotion that he’s experienced in this relationship, is somewhere in that story. And besides Max, Alec has never shared any of his stories with anyone, not even Jace or Izzy. But something about it had felt right, so Alec had loaded what he had written onto a USB stick. He’d found the omamori a few days before, and it all fit very nicely in a small bag, along with the card that Alec wrote just before he went to bed.

After seeing the plane tickets, Alec had feared Magnus would feel disappointed at the present he got for him. But, on the contrary, Magnus’ eyes had shone with amazement and affection at the sight of the charm, and had glowed with curiosity and intrigue upon seeing the USB. Even after Magnus had left his apartment just 12 hours ago, Alec had feared that he would be disappointed at what he would find when he opened the USB when he got home.

But now, Alec hears Magnus’ words, and he feels elated, because Magnus sounds amazed and emotional, and so grateful, that it leaves Alec shaken. That tidal wave of emotion is back, almost knocking the breath out of Alec’s lungs. This overwhelming feeling, this deep appreciation and joy, makes him break out into the biggest smile.

“That’s - that’s good to hear,” Alec chokes back. “You need to tell me all about it, later.”

“Oh don’t worry, I intend to,” Magnus jokes back. “Alright, I’m pulling in now, so I’m going to hang up and I’ll be up in a moment. See you!”

“See you,” Alec whispers back before the call disconnects.

“Is Magnus coming up now?” a voice drags Alec’s gaze from his phone to the redhead approaching him at the kitchen table. Alec just smiles and nods.

“He’s got presents for you and Jace,” Alec adds as he nods in the direction of the suitcase that is currently closed and propped up near the door leading to the kitchen. “But he wants to be here to give it to you guys.”

Clary beams. “That’s so sweet of him!” she exclaims. “Alec, you are one lucky guy.”

Alec just glances down, smirking. “Yeah, I really am.”

Something about his tone must indicate something to Clary, because she steps a little closer. Alec’s aware that Izzy and Simon are tinkering away in the kitchen (though most of the cooking will be courtesy of Simon because Izzy’s a disaster in the kitchen) and he’s also aware that Jace is currently out buying some last-minute groceries.

“Clary, how do you know if you’re... you know...” Alec asks, trailing off. He can’t bring himself to tack-on the last part of the question. _How do you know if you’re in love?_ The question bursts forth from his lips without Alec really thinking. But maybe asking Clary about this would be for the best. Jace and Izzy would tease him endlessly for it, with fangirling interspersed from Izzy, and Simon would talk too much and probably spill the beans unceremoniously over a bowl of potato salad.

Clary’s eyes widen in surprise, before she crosses her arms and shakes her head. “Alec, if you’re in love, you’ll know,” she responds. Alec wonders distantly about how she figured out what he was asking about, until it dawns on him that he must be pretty obvious. “I can’t say exactly but... I think love is when, you can’t imagine a life without them. Every time you see them, you feel invigorated. They make you feel like the best version of yourself, and your priority is their happiness, even over yours.”

Alec nods to himself. He knows how important Jace is to Clary, and vice versa. They’ve both had very difficult pasts. Jace’s biological parents both died in a car accident whilst he was young, leading to the Lightwoods adopting him, while Clary and her mother escaped domestic abuse from her biological father when she was very little. But they support each other, they complete each other, and seeing Clary’s far-away expression at the mention of Jace is a testament to that.

Clary’s words resonate with Alec deeply, and he feels better now. He feels like his emotions have been validated, and he’s happy that he’s managed to get this off his chest. Clary just smiles knowingly at him, and he’s about to say something else when the intercom buzzes, jolting the two of them from their conversation.

“Thank you,” Alec utters back instead. Clary just smiles, because Alec can tell that _she knows_.

“It’s ok. And don’t worry,” Clary adds before she mimes a zipping motion over her mouth. Alec knows that she won’t say anything to the others. Maybe she understands the teasing and loudness of the others just like he does.

Simon bursts through the door from the kitchen in the moment, heading to the intercom. “Hi Magnus!” Simon greets, before buzzing him up. He quickly rushes back into the kitchen, because he, more than anyone, understands the dangers of leaving Izzy alone in the kitchen. The two of them chuckle at the sight, before Clary turns to face Alec.

“I’m going to help them in the kitchen until Jace gets back. You can greet Magnus when he comes up,” Clary winks before she follows Simon into the kitchen.

Alone in the open area of the living and dining rooms of Izzy and Simon’s apartment, Alec wills his thoughts to slow down. When he hears the tell-tale knock at the door, he walks up to it and opens it quickly, ignoring how sweaty his palms feel as the door swings open.

For a moment, Alec forgets how to breathe.

Draped in maroon and gold, Magnus chuckles brightly. His coat is open enough for Alec to notice the tight-fitting shirt underneath, and his breath hitches as Magnus wordlessly closes the distance between them and brings his hands around Alec’s neck to kiss him hard.

“Merry Boxing Day,” Alec babbles, struck breathless by the sight of Magnus. He could see him every day, and still, without a shadow of a doubt, Alec knows he’d be struck senseless by the man’s beauty no matter what.

“People say that now?” Magnus quirks an eyebrow, earning a slight chuckle from Alec.

“You look incredible,” Alec emphasises, hands never leaving Magnus’ waist as he gazes at him reverently. Seriously, how did Alec end up _this lucky?_

Magnus beams brightly, pulling one hand from behind Alec’s neck and bringing it to rest on Alec’s cheek. His eyes shine with emotion as he whispers back, “So do you, Alexander.”

There’s really no other way to respond to that except to kiss him.

Every time Alec feels Magnus’ mouth on his own, he can’t help but think of how well they fit together. Two pieces of a puzzle that connect perfectly. It’s so easy, feels so right, to kiss Magnus. It’s always fresh and exciting, hot and steady, somehow sweet and sexy and grounding all at once. Alec knows he could never tire of the feeling.

“You guys need to get a room,” a laughing voice is what shocks them apart, and they both turn their heads to find Jace standing at the open door, grocery bags in hand. He moves forward, causing Alec and Magnus to separate, and Jace comes in to hug them both. Alec finds it bittersweet to see Magnus’ face, still surprised by all the affection he receives from Alec’s family. He’s happy that Magnus is pleasantly surprised, happy to see how much the others love him. But it also saddens Alec to see that surprise, because Magnus deserves every good thing in the world in Alec’s mind.

He realises with a start that the only person who doesn’t believe that is Magnus himself.

“I know none of us can do desserts, so I just got some sweets from the supermarket,” Jace explains. He turns to make his way to the kitchen and spots the suitcase sitting on the side. “Wait, what’s that?”

“Presents for you and Clary,” Magnus replies, looking rather pleased with himself. Jace clicks his fingers.

“Oh, yeah, we have a present for you too. We can exchange them after lunch?”

“Sounds good,” Magnus adds. He turns back to Alec then, hands settling on Alec’s shoulders. The warmth seeps through the thick layers of his clothes, somehow making Alec shiver slightly. “I should go into the kitchen and say hi to everyone.”

“Good idea,” Alec whispers back, and he steals one more quick peck before Jace and Magnus go through the door together to greet everyone. This leaves Alec alone once again, thoughts constantly churning in his mind and threatening to never quieten. He hears voices full of laughter filter through the closed door, and Alec’s heart threatens to burst in this very moment.

Clary’s words seem to reverberate within Alec’s mind, his internal thoughts seeming to go a million miles a minute.

All five of them file out of the kitchen a moment later, all laughing loudly at some joke Magnus seems to have just made. Shaking his head to clear his mind, Alec moves out of the way to allow Simon to place the lemon chicken dish in the centre of the dining table, completing the table spread. They all settle in their seats, Alec sparing a moment to pull out Magnus’ chair with a small duck. Magnus beams at the gesture, and this is what allows Alec to ignore the teasing words of his siblings as he slides into his own chair next to his boyfriend.

Lunch is filled with jovial laughter and stories of the holidays. Izzy is less adamant and overt in her attempts to tease out any details from Magnus, but she still gains no new insights to the line, much to her irritation. Jace and Clary discuss their excitement for their wedding, which is only a month away now. When the others ask if Alec managed to forget about asking Magnus along as his date, Alec grins triumphantly.

“Now that, I did remember,” Alec recalls how he had blurted out the invitation over the phone just a week ago, smiling a little proudly. Magnus just laughs breezily, resting a hand on Alec’s shoulder and gazing reverently at him. He doesn’t say anything, but his soft smile and the warmth of his hand resting on his shoulder is enough for Alec.

All of them partake in cleaning up the dining room and kitchen afterwards, and then, Jace and Clary exchange their presents with Magnus. Jace fist-pumps when he sees the new dumbell set, gratitude practically pouring out of him, and Clary rushes to hug Magnus when she sees the watercolour paints.

“How did you manage to get these? I’ve tried finding them for years but I’ve never been able to get them,” Clary breathes out when she pulls back from the hug. Magnus shrugs, a glint of mischief and laughter twinkling in his eyes.

“I have my ways,” Magnus responds with a smirk.

“Thank you so much for the presents, Magnus,” Jace straightens up, clearing his throat a little. He hands over a bag with a bow on it. When Magnus peeks in, Alec notices the small smile on his face as he brings out the new fancy headphones inside.

“How did you know I just broke my headphones last week?” Magnus asks, disbelief obvious in his voice. Alec just laughs as Jace smirks and Clary moves next to him to put an arm around his middle.

“We have our ways too,” she winks.

But Magnus just sends a knowing look in Alec’s direction, and he knows that Magnus has already figured it out. Still, he gives Alec the benefit of not saying anything more.

They spend more time in Izzy and Simon’s living room, chatting and talking and just generally enjoying each other’s company. At some point in the afternoon, Jace and Clary say their goodbyes and leave, leaving just Alec, Magnus, Simon and Izzy.

Alec is struck with a bit of deja vu as he remembers how he had been in a similar position in Pandemonium just a while ago. Izzy and Simon sitting across from him. Except at that time, he’d been alone. Now, Alec grips Magnus’ hand a little bit tighter, as if to ground himself in the moment. Because now, he’s not alone. He has Magnus.

The thought makes Alec dizzy with giddiness.

Magnus must misinterpret Alec’s tight hold as an indication that he’s ready to leave, though Alec must admit that he’s also pretty tired from the day. The two of them get up, say their goodbyes to Izzy and Simon, and leave their apartment.

As soon as the door shuts, Alec feels Magnus practically slam him against the wall of the hallway as his mouth descends on his. They spend long drawn out moments kissing each other hard in the hallway, Alec feeling every hard line of Magnus’ body beneath the clothes he wears, and he whines a little when Magnus breaks away. Alec has to admit, he feels a little breathless.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Magnus purrs, though Alec is happy to hear that he sounds quite breathless himself. “You’re incredible, you know that, right?”

Alec can’t help but marvel at Magnus and his candid comments. It leaves him feeling amazed.

“Says you,” Alec manages to choke back out, and then Magnus’ mouth is on his again.

After a bit of time like this, eventually the two of them stop so they can exit the apartment building. “We have much to discuss, Alexander,” Magnus explains as they both enter Magnus’ car.

“Like?” Alec prompts as he immediately puts on his seatbelt. Magnus chuckles, mirroring Alec’s actions in buckling up before he turns on the engine.

“Like, how did you manage to learn to write that well?” Magnus asks, astonishment obvious in his words as he pulls out of the parking lot. Alec has to admit, he had been worried Magnus may not have enjoyed the story, but hearing these words fill Alec with happiness because Magnus sounds so _amazed_. And anything that amazes Magnus Bane must be pretty cool, right?

“I’m really not that great,” Alec shrugs. He’s about to continue, but Magnus shakes his head, his eyes still trained on the road before them.

“That’s wrong, Alec,” Magnus emphasises. “You’re not allowed to say that. I’ve only read some of it, but the story is _incredible._ ”

“You’re just saying that because I’m your boyfriend and you practically inspired most of it,” Alec jokes back. They happen to stop at a red light, and once Magnus stops the car to wait for the light to change, he turns around to face Alec in the passenger seat. Alec gulps when he sees the frown on Magnus’ face.

“Believe it or not, Alexander, I’m serious. I love the story, not because my boyfriend wrote it or because it’s a big compliment to me. I love it because the writing is incredible, the characters are realistic and the story is really sweet.” Magnus brings his hand to Alec’s cheek, and he looks so determined in making sure that Alec understands this, that Alec can’t do anything but nod.

That small smile is back on Magnus’ face, and he turns back to face the road as the light turns green. They continue for a few moments in comfortable silence, Magnus focusing on driving whilst Alec turns over everything he’s heard over the past few hours in his head.

He thinks about Magnus, who somehow always has the ability to make Alec feel more confident in himself. And his soft sweet smile that seems to grace his face more and more, every day. And he can’t help but think about how Magnus deserves every nice thing the world could possibly offer him. And he thinks about Clary’s words again, because they haven’t really left the forefront of his mind ever since, and he feels surprised, shocked, excited, worried, confused, and happy, all at once.

“It’s our story,” Alec mumbles quietly, after a while. Magnus still faces the road, but Alec takes in his profile as he sees Magnus smile brightly. Their hands find each other, both of Alec’s hands reaching across to grasp Magnus’ one hand. He fiddles with one of the rings on Magnus’ hand, watching his beautiful boyfriend as he smiles at the road.

“As I said, it’s really sweet, right?” Magnus whispers quietly, quickly glancing at Alec. Alec sees his eyes look a little watery, and Alec realises with a start that he’s tearing up a little bit too.

“Yeah, it is,” Alec exhales quietly.

~

“Magnus Bane’s famous margaritas, part two,” Magnus laughs as he hands said margarita to Alec. Alec chuckles at Magnus’ theatrical little bow, before bringing the drink to his lips and sipping slowly. They’re strong, but also really tasty, and Alec likes to think his tolerance has been improving recently.

Magnus gets himself his own margarita, and settles himself right next to his boyfriend. Wordlessly, Alec reaches an arm out to wrap around Magnus as he sips his drink with the other hand.

“You should send it to a publisher,” Magnus seems to blurt out after a while. Alec’s eyes widen.

“Magnus, I think you’re being a little hasty. I’m not good enough to get published,” Alec immediately retorts. Magnus turns in his arms, frowning rather adorably up at Alec, and he reaches out a hand to hold Alec’s face.

“I’m never going to stop telling you this, but you are an amazing writer, Alexander,” Magnus looks intently at Alec, and Alec squirms under his gaze. “I’m not one to beat around the bush, and I’m telling you, that you seriously are good enough to get published. I really believe it.”

“That makes one of us,” Alec mumbles. Magnus sighs loudly, tilting his head a little closer to Alec’s.

“I want you to believe it too, Alexander. You’re amazing,” Magnus’ gaze has drifted to Alec’s lips now. Alec’s insides feel warm, a combination of the alcohol and of Magnus’ words and of his muddled thoughts. He closes the distance between them, swallowing Magnus’ quiet moan as their lips connect.

This kiss is slow and sweet, and Alec feels like he could do this forever. He sighs quietly as he feels Magnus’ thumb brush his cheek as they kiss softly, tightening his hold around Magnus with every movement of their tongues in tandem. When they pull apart slowly, Alec manages to stutter out, “You’re amazing, Magnus.”

Magnus beams brightly up at him. “Nothing wrong with both of us being amazing,” he chuckles.

This brings a small smile to Alec’s face, and he nods slowly. “I guess you’re right,” Alec whispers quietly.

They sit there for a while, just enjoying each other’s quiet company. They keep drinking their margaritas, and Alec’s mind goes pleasantly fuzzy after a while. He senses that Magnus is probably feeling the same.

“If you don’t want or think you’re going to get published, why did you include a dedication?” the question catches Alec off-guard, and Magnus himself stiffens a little.

Had Alec seriously left the dedication in? He thought he had deleted it before he had uploaded the file. He has to admit, it’s a little silly, especially considering how Alec never really plans to show the story to anyone other than Magnus. But still, he had written one. Now, he can’t help but feel embarrassed.

“I don’t know,” Alec sighs back. “It seems kind-of silly, now that I think about it.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Magnus immediately turns to face Alec, eyes shining. “I’m just curious.” Alec can tell that Magnus is questioning more than just the existence of the dedication. He’s thinking of the dedication itself.

Alec closes his eyes and can still recall it word-for-word.

_To Max, the angel above who inspired me to begin. And to Magnus, the angel on Earth who inspired me to continue._

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t feel comfortable,” Magnus immediately continues. “But I just wanted to ask, who is Max?”

Alec can’t really stop himself from sliding down a little until his head rests on Magnus’ lap. He closes his eyes and properly lies down across the whole couch, Magnus’ lap acting as some kind of pillow. Alec takes a couple of deep breaths, and he begins to speak, even though he doesn’t re-open his eyes just yet.

“Max was my little brother,” Alec starts, and he almost chokes on the words. He’s happy he has his eyes closed, lest he do something ridiculous like cry.

“Oh Alexander,” Magnus’ voice sounds so incredibly soft and sad, and Alec feels Magnus’ hand begin to slowly card through his messy hair. The motion is grounding, and it pushes Alec to continue.

“He was the biggest nerd out of all four of us. Bigger than me, even. We were the only real readers in the family. And when I first started writing as a teenager, he was the only person I would ever show my writing to,” Alec continues. His heart swells at the memories that the words bring back.

He can see little 7-year-old Max, so wise despite his age, reading Alec’s laptop with enthusiasm obvious in his small face. He can hear Max’s laughter at a joke in his story. And he sees Max nodding with understanding as Alec explains how love stories don’t always have to be between a boy and a girl.

Max had rolled with it, just like that.

“He was 10 when it happened. Freak car accident. He’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time,” recounting all these memories makes Alec’s chest feel tight, and despite the fact that his eyes are screwed shut, he still feels hot tears begin to slip from his face. He shivers slightly when he feels Magnus thumb the tears away, and the motion encourages him to keep going.

“I was 21 at the time. And what happened to Max, it reminded me that life is short. That was when I decided that I couldn’t keep living a lie anymore, and I came out,” Alec recalls, sniffling a little. He hates how choked up his voice sounds, but he also knows that he has to finish his piece now.

“Anyways, you know what happened after all that. But after Max died, I... I just couldn’t bring myself to write anymore. It hurt too much, and nothing inspired me. And then... I met you,” Alec finally allows himself to open his eyes now, and he feels his heart stutter in his chest as he sees the affectionate gaze of his boyfriend. Magnus’ lips are turned up in a small smile, hand still slowly going through Alec’s hair and lightly massaging his scalp.

“You met me,” Magnus repeats back, voice full of wonder. Alec thinks to himself, wondering if Magnus feels just as lucky that they met as Alec does. The way he’s looking at Alec now, surely he must.

“You’re so incredible, Magnus. And special. And suddenly, all these feelings and thoughts sort of just... I don’t know, flowed out of me,” Alec allows himself to smile lowly now. “I have a feeling Max would’ve loved you.”

“I don’t doubt that I would’ve loved him as well,” Magnus whispers quietly, and Alec suddenly feels overwhelmed. Surely this is the moment? Oh, but Alec’s still sniffling and rubbing his hand over his eyes to stop the flow of tears. And the position is kind-of weird for a love confession, right?

A confession of love. If Alec hadn’t been sure about it before, he definitely is now.

He’s in love with Magnus Bane.

But the words are lodged in his throat, and he feels overwhelmed from all the emotional baggage he’s seemed to have unloaded. Magnus must be able to pick up on this, because he holds up a finger in a gesture that means _wait here._ He lifts Alec’s head off his lap, extricating himself and placing a throw pillow under Alec’s head gently as he whispers excitedly that he’ll be right back. Alec’s head hits the throw pillow, and he suddenly feels the urge to drift off to sleep. His eyes begin to flutter closed just as he hears Magnus approach him again. He’s holding his laptop in one of his hands, and he lifts Alec’s head gently again, removing the pillow and letting his lap act as Alec’s pillow again. Alec just hums as he feels Magnus’ hand threading through his hair, and he smiles softly as he settles back into position, lying on Magnus again.

“You know what I think would be rather riveting?” Magnus questions, a playful smirk on his face. Alec’s eyebrows draw together as he sees Magnus bring his laptop and tilt it until it faces Alec. “A reading of the story from the author himself.”

Alec's mouth opens, and he’s about to remind Magnus that he’s not technically an author (or at least, a published author), but the amused playful smile on Magnus’ face, and the quiet excitement in his tone, silences him. So instead, Alec reaches up, chuckling as he grabs the laptop from Magnus’ grip, resting it on his stomach. He gulps, a weird wave of nervousness washing over him, but then he feels Magnus’ hand trace his lips. The motion brings Alec’s gaze up again, and he sees so much pure emotion in Magnus’ stare that Alec forgets for a moment how to breathe. The nervousness ebbs away as he settles his gaze back onto the laptop. The file is already open, and Alec is surprised to see Magnus is already about a third of the way through the story.

The story is quite long, almost the length of a full novel, and Alec is currently very close to finishing it.

_“Kellan was shocked out of his reverie when he noticed that he was here. Again. What were the odds? How many times had they run into each other over the past couple of months? Heart pounding, hands sweaty and mind muddled, he moved through the library aisles with one thought in mind._

_This time, he was going to the hot guy, who the universe seemed to keep throwing at him, and he was going to ask him out.”_

“That sounds familiar,” Magnus muses, and Alec lets out a short chuckle at that. He notices vaguely that his tears have now completely dried.

They continue like this for who knows how long, Alec reading to Magnus, and Magnus making occasional comments every once in a while. It keeps the reading interesting, and the words are infrequent enough that they aren’t interrupting or annoying. Rather, Magnus’ attempts to guess what date inspired which chapter has Alec laughing, and seeing his own piece that he had written and read over so many times in a new light.

With every word spoken, with every expression of every emotion, and with every piece of dialogue, Alec tries to pour his heart into what he reads. When Kellan goes on his first date, Alec tries to convey his own butterflies he had felt on his and Magnus’ first date. When Kellan keeps going into detail about how gorgeous his hot date is, Alec tries to demonstrate that this is exactly how blown away he is by the beauty of Magnus himself. And when Kellan keeps going round-and-round in his head about his feelings, Alec tries to show that everything, this joy and awe and desire and wonder, is only a fraction of the love that Alec feels for Magnus.

Alec shares his story, _their story._ And without saying it explicitly, but with every utterance of every word, Alec tells Magnus just how much he loves him. Gosh, how had he not realised it sooner? And from the way that Magnus listens, the way he quietly interjects, and the way he never stops running his hand through Alec’s hair, Alec can’t help but think that maybe...

Alec smiles as he reads, hoping that Magnus can listen between the lines and figure it out for himself, and wondering if Magnus could possibly ever come to love Alec just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE FLUFF
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3 (like how Alec loooves Magnus hahaha)


	15. Just Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus knows now that he’s never felt like this for anyone ever before. If what he had felt for Camille was a flame, Magnus’ feelings for Alec are like a pulsing fire, hot and deep and intense, slowly somehow taking over every other part of him. He feels this craving to be as close to Alec as possible, to spend all his time trying to make Alec laugh, or listening to Alec read to him, or just hugging him close.
> 
> Alec is strong, and beautiful, and imperfectly perfect, and that makes Magnus feel so grateful that he would be lucky enough to even know the man, let alone be his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to all that have read/commented/kudosed so far!
> 
> I have a feeling y'all will really like this one, so I'll just shut up and let y'all read :D

Magnus has to admit that he’s a little surprised when Alec accepts his invitation to go out with him as well as Cat, Ragnor and Raphael for New Year’s Eve celebrations. He honestly thought Alec’s plans with the others would take precedence, but he's happy to hear it when Alec excitedly agrees to meeting at Magnus’ apartment on the last day of the year with Magnus’ little family.

Not that he hasn't enjoyed his time with Alec's own family. They're all quite lovely, easy to get along with. But Magnus is seriously excited at the prospect of Alec meeting everyone.

Magnus has never invited anyone except Camille to meet them. The three of them had met her once, and had decided that once was one time too many.

But Alec is warm, and kind, and sweet, and handsome and just so genuinely good. He's been through so much pain, so many hardships, and yet all this has done has somehow made his heart grow even larger. He knows the others will love him just like he does.

Because that’s the truth of the matter, right? Magnus knows he’s in love now.

Every word he reads from Alec’s story somehow makes him fall even more in love with him. And when Alec had read the story out to him a few nights ago, the words had swirled in Magnus’ head in a new kind of way, in a way that had made Magnus distantly wonder how Alec truly felt. The sincerity in his tone, the weight of his written words.

He hadn’t imagined the love in his voice, right?

Now, it's almost the end of December, and Magnus feels excited at the prospect of the new year for a number of reasons. The line release is going to be in March, and Magnus will finally be able to achieve that dream. And he’ll be starting the new year with an incredible boyfriend by his side.

And their trip that Magnus has planned will be in early January.

Every day brings their trip away even closer, which has Magnus feeling seriously pumped. And despite his initial surprise, Magnus knows Alec is really looking forward to it too.

Currently, Magnus sits at his vanity, his phone propped up against the mirror as he paints his nails. This time, he's going for a dark burgundy colour. Even though he's not looking at his phone, Magnus knows that Alec's face is currently on the screen.

“Are you really not going to give me any more details?” Alec asks, a small whine in his voice. Magnus flicks his gaze up to the phone, and he sees Alec pouting up at him with wide doe eyes. Magnus has to admit, a part of him feels convinced from this look alone to reveal his plans. But he knows the surprise will be worth it, so he just shakes his head firmly.

“You already know the dates and where we're flying to. Isn't that enough?” Magnus teasingly questions, looking back down at his hand.

Alec lets out a small groan at the question. “I have a feeling there's more behind this than just some time away,” Magnus turns his head up again to find Alec squinting at him, as if this will allow him to read Magnus’ thoughts. At that, Magnus barks out a laugh.

“It's a surprise, dear,” Magnus chuckles, saying the pet name without really meaning to. But he sees Alec's face light up at the word, so Magnus considers that a small victory. “Trust me, you’ll love it.”

“Don’t worry, I trust you,” Alec whispers back sincerely. This gives Magnus pause, and he suddenly feels the urge to confess _over a Facetime call_ , but then Alec suddenly straightens, glancing with a perplexed expression at his phone.

“Magnus, that’s Maia,” Alec explains. “I need to take this, and I have to go, but we can chat later?” Magnus tries to ignore the twinge of disappointment he feels, but he also knows that he can’t take up Alec’s life entirely. Besides, Alec had told him before that he was meeting up with Maia to go over new ideas for the new year in regards to Elderwood. So Magnus just nods, albeit a little solemnly, and smiles softly.

“Sounds good,” Magnus clears his throat. “See you.” And with that, Alec hangs up.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, Magnus focuses back on his hands. He spends a lazy afternoon inside, spending time to finish painting his nails and do some cleaning, the sunlight slowly fading into darkness as he mulls over his thoughts.

Magnus knows now that he’s never felt like this for anyone ever before. If what he had felt for Camille was a flame, Magnus’ feelings for Alec are like a pulsing fire, hot and deep and intense, slowly somehow taking over every other part of him. He feels this craving to be as close to Alec as possible, to spend all his time trying to make Alec laugh, or listening to Alec read to him, or just hugging him close.

Alec is strong, and beautiful, and imperfectly perfect, and that makes Magnus feel so grateful that he would be lucky enough to even know the man, let alone be his boyfriend.

Should he make a grand gesture? Bouquets, an orchestra, the works? The fantasy makes Magnus cringe a little though. Should he just tell Alec the next time he sees him? For some reason, Magnus is torn between running up to Alec and confessing right now, or trying to plan it out to perfection. And Magnus knows he’s probably overthinking it, but he can’t help but think that this all stems from one thing.

He’s afraid Alec doesn’t feel the same.

Not that it’s a crime for only one person to admit they’re in love. Magnus would wait forever just to hear Alec reciprocate the words back to him. But Magnus can’t pretend that the thought isn’t confronting. He’s worried, working himself into a panic, and Magnus knows he can’t do that. Last time he got lost in his own head, he ended up on the cold sidewalk crying like an idiot.

So Magnus knows he can’t do that again. Instead, to clear his head, he decides to cook some food. It’s evening now, and Magnus skips around his kitchen, focusing on making some stir-fry. He even turns on some music from the speaker, humming along quietly to whatever music comes on and occasionally spotting Chairman Meow dashing around the apartment.

By the time he’s finished, and as he begins eating his plate of stir-fry, he definitely feels calmer. Magnus knows his best bet is to not overthink things, to just go with the flow. He has plenty of opportunities, and he, for one, is just going to let things be.

When he’s finished with his dinner, Magnus clears up, has a quick shower, and prepares for bed. Once he’s settled in his pajamas, and wrapped in five different blankets to stave off the encroaching cold, Magnus opens up his laptop, ready to continue reading Alec’s story. It’s one of those engrossing kind of stories that you can’t necessarily binge-read all at once. Instead, the pure density of emotion and thought in every word that Alec writes makes Magnus want to take his time to finish reading, to really savour every word.

Still, he’s pretty close to the end. Magnus thinks he may even finish reading it by tonight. The thought is both exciting and a little sad. He’s become seriously invested in Kellan’s story, and he makes a mental note to ask Alec if he can read the rest of the story at some point. Maybe when he’s finished writing it.

As he reads, Magnus can’t help but picture this story on bookshelves all across the world. Sure, the story, at face-value, is a standard love story, but it touches on so many deeper topics and concepts that makes Magnus feel the injustice that he’s the only other person to have read this. Maybe one day, he can convince Alec to put it forth to a publisher.

Magnus keeps reading, and every time a part of him feels like he should go to sleep, he’s spurred on by the fact that there doesn’t seem to be much left. He has to admit, the part he’s reading right now is pretty intriguing and engrossing. Besides, Magnus checks to see that there’s only a few pages left until the end.

He glances at the clock on his end table. The time reads 12.39am.

Magnus shrugs. Sleep-deprivation tomorrow would be totally worth it, even if he has to endure Lydia’s teasing at their 8am meeting tomorrow. It would all be worth it just to finish this.

So he continues, eyes widening as he reaches the last chapter. This one has a lot of introspection and not much action, though Magnus doesn’t really mind. The words seem to jump out at him, bright despite the dim darkness of his bedroom.

He reaches the last page of the document. Every word he reads makes his heart stutter in his chest even more.

_And Kellan didn’t know how to calm the storm of emotions within him now. How could he possibly? Every one of his smiles sent a shiver down his spine, every one of his words had him craning to hear more, every one of his laughs made him want laugh back._

_Years ago, Kellan would’ve burned with shame and self-hate at who he was. And now? Now, Kellan felt like he could take on the world, could shout high from the rooftops, could do whatever necessary to show the world just how truly happy he was._

_He didn't know what to call this feeling. It was foreign, it was startling, it was exciting. Kellan didn’t know what to make of it._

_All he did know is that the world seemed brighter to Kellan now after meeting him. Kellan never wanted to spend a moment apart from him. In Kellan’s eyes, the hot guy he fatefully used to run into, who was now his hot incredible boyfriend, was perfect. And every little imperfection somehow made him even more perfect to him._

_Kellan didn't know what to call this feeling. But he definitely knew he never wanted to let it go._

Magnus’ eyes widen as he reads those final two sentences. In any other situation, he’d be groaning with irritation at this supposed cliffhanger. But instead, he remains frozen, stuck on those final sentences. And then the final page. And then the entire thing.

All at once, it clicks in his mind. All these emotions, all these thoughts, they’re 100% purely Alec. This entire story is Alec telling Magnus his feelings for him, and the words of the story mirror Magnus’ emotions so well that he finds it almost creepily uncanny. His heart hammers in his chest, his breathing quickening as he spots a ball of fur land on his bed softly.

“Kellan didn’t know what to call this feeling,” Magnus recites. “But I do. I have to go!” Chairman Meow just meows, and Magnus considers that his blessing for him to go.

At the speed of light, Magnus changes into the warmest clothes he can find. It’s the dead of winter, and it’s particularly chilly this evening. He doesn’t even bother with putting on any makeup. He rushes around the apartment, and is out the door in five minutes. But the bitter cold of the outdoors does nothing to calm his racing heart, and the chill outside just seems to emphasise how warm and fuzzy he feels deep down.

Screw his fear. Screw any kind of plan. Screw going with the flow. If there was any way to confess your love without explicitly saying it, surely Alec had just done that with this story. His incredible, deep, emotional, wonderful story.

The love in Magnus’ heart swells at the thought.

In the car, he ramps up the heater and quickly begins to drive to Alec’s apartment. He glances at the clock and notices that it’s already past 1am.

Fuck it. He is already on the way. At any other time, Magnus would reason that he should let Alec sleep, but for some reason, he feels the deep desperate need to go to him right now and tell him how much he loves him.

He’ll go and ring the intercom. If Alec is asleep, Magnus has half-a-mind to just wait outside his building and keep buzzing him until he wakes up.

Soon, Magnus finds himself on the familiar street leading to Alec’s apartment. He parks the car, steeling himself as he rushes out into the freezing night once again. And no matter how hard he tries to, he can’t fight the grin on his face. He rushes up to the intercom and quickly buzzes it.

Despite his rush to get here, Magnus reckons that Alec is most likely asleep at this point. That’s why it surprises him so much when Alec immediately answers. “Who is it?” Alec’s voice crackles through the intercom, sounding hoarse and distant.

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes out, that smile still on his face. Honestly, someone could try and bribe him to stop smiling and he still wouldn’t be able to. He’s about to say something else, an apology for how late it is, but Alec beats him to it.

“Magnus!” Alec’s voice brightens instantly. He lets Magnus into the building, and Magnus doesn’t miss the surprise and the question in his voice.

Magnus runs up the stairs, heart beating in time with his steps, blood pounding through his head. When was the last time he had bothered to run like this? He probably sounds like a madman, stomping up the stairs, but he _has to reach Alec now._

And suddenly, he’s in front of the Alec’s door. He makes a move to knock, but then suddenly Alec is _right there._ He swings open the door, hazel eyes wide, his hair a total fluffy adorable mess, and he’s dressed in his pajamas.

“Magnus, is everything ok?” Alec asks immediately, expression clouded with concern.

And this is it. The final nail in Magnus’ coffin. Instead of complaining about the lateness, or something a normal person would say in irritation at this hour, Alec is immediately putting Magnus before anything else. He’s worried for Magnus, because no ordinary person in any ordinary situation would ever show-up unannounced at this early hour.

Before he can stop himself, Magnus launches himself forward, catching Alec off-guard as he wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him. Alec seems startled for a moment, before he melts into the kiss himself, arms immediately wrapping around Magnus’ waist and hugging him tight against him. Magnus bites Alec’s lower lip, swallowing a shallow moan from the taller man, and easily probes his tongue into Alec’s mouth. Magnus holds on so tight, never ever wanting to let Alec go.

Finally, they break apart considering the need for oxygen. Alec’s lips are shiny, and his expression is a mixture of awe, surprise, confusion and joy. Magnus thinks he’s never seen anything so beautiful before.

“I love you,” Magnus finally breathes out, and all at once, it feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. “I know it’s late, I know this is weird. But I finished reading your story, and fuck, I knew I had to see you and tell you.” His breathing is ragged, a combination from his breathlessness left from the kiss and the storm of emotions within him.

Alec’s expression morphs from confusion to disbelief to surprise, until he breaks out into the biggest grin Magnus has ever seen. Still holding Magnus by the waist, he picks Magnus up and swings him around. A part of Magnus feels pure elation surge through him at the feeling of being lifted, and a part of Magnus feels seriously turned on because, honestly, how strong is this guy?

When Alec puts him back down, he presses a quick kiss on Magnus’ mouth. “God, Magnus, I love you so much,” Alec chokes out then, sounding a little breathless himself. “I don’t care how late it is, because, fuck, I love you too.”

Magnus smiles at Alec as the words overcome him, as he realises that _Alexander loves him back,_ and the two of them wear matching dazzling grins as they both surge forward again to kiss each other. And this time, with every caress of Alec’s tongue, with every scrape of his teeth against Magnus’ lips, and with every press of Alec’s hands as they dig into Magnus’ waist, Magnus can feel the love in every motion. How could he possibly have been so blind to it before?

Before he knows it, Magnus is shucking off his large coat, eyes remaining shut and lips still on Alec’s as the two of them properly move into Alec’s apartment. Magnus barely registers it as he kicks the apartment door shut, hands reaching down and under Alec’s sleep-shirt, and relishing the feeling of Alec’s abs underneath. At this, Alec kisses a trail from Magnus’ mouth down along his neck. Magnus screws his eyes shut as he groans, lightly scratching at the skin under Alec’s shirt.

Alec continues kissing Magnus’ neck. “You’re incredible,” Alec breathes out, causing goosebumps to erupt along Magnus’ skin as Alec bites down and sucks gently. “I love how you taste.”

Magnus sighs loudly as he feels Alec kiss back up to his face, and their mouths reconnect instantly. Magnus feels like he’s simultaneously drowning and burning, feeling the love emanating from every word, every action, everything that Alexander gives. He pours all his own efforts to into conveying his own love as he kisses Alec fervently.

They stay frozen like this for what feels like an eternity, kissing each other. Magnus equates every kiss with every breath he could possibly take, like he would die if they would ever stop. These kisses are soft, deep, languid in nature, and Magnus can feel this shift. It makes his toes curl and his heart beat resound in his chest. Magnus’ hands seem to move by their own accord, reaching up to grip the front of Alec’s shirt tightly. As he feels Alec’s tongue swipe over his lip, he registers Alec’s arms moving from their position around his waist until Alec reaches forward, clasping Magnus’ hands with his own.

Magnus feels the rough calluses of Alec’s hands, feels him tap Magnus’ bare fingers, and he finds the sensation surprisingly intimate. Alec tilts his head back, and Magnus feels a little surprised when he brings their conjoined hands up to his lips. Magnus opens his eyes to find Alec kissing his knuckles softly, his hazel eyes wide and never leaving his face. _So different to weeks ago,_ Magnus can’t help but think fondly to himself.

“I love these hands, with their ability to make and design the most beautiful things,” Alec continues, feathering tiny kisses along Magnus’ hands. Magnus has to admit, he’s struck a little speechless by Alec’s sweet words. He’s powerless to stop the smile that crosses his face at Alec’s sincere expression.

Slowly, Alec lets go of Magnus’ hands, allowing Magnus to rest his hands on Alec’s chest, right where his heart beats. He can feel Alec’s heart racing, which he finds encouraging, considering his own heart seems to be beating incredibly fast as well. Alec reaches up, that soft half-smile on his face that Magnus feels lucky enough to witness, and his hands frame Magnus’ face. Tender with his touch, Alec traces his fingers over Magnus’ cheek, as if trying to map-out Magnus’ face, trying to memorise every tactile detail.

Magnus feels every bit of tension leave his body at the touch, leaving him feeling content and calm, the strongest sense of peace settling over him as sees the love in Alec’s fond expression. Wordlessly, Alec leans forward, and Magnus' eyes flutter shut. He feels soft lips as Alec kisses his closed eyelids ever so softly. His kiss feels feather-light, almost non-existent, and yet, at the same time, the touch feels like it’s been imprinted in Magnus’ skin.

Magnus opens his eyes again, and he’s struck breathless by the love and adoration in Alec’s gaze. His hazel eyes are shining, bright with determination, with love. “I love your eyes. They’re just as unique as you are,” at these words, Alec blushes slightly. “Probably the first thing I noticed about you.”

The sheepish admission makes Magnus beam brightly. A part of him wants to say something, but he can tell from the way that Alec holds himself that he’s not exactly finished. Magnus’ assumptions are right, and he feels Alec move close again to press a light kiss on Magnus’ forehead.

“I love you so much, Magnus,” Alec admits as he moves away. He seems determined to keep his gaze fixed on Magnus, leaving Magnus feeling overwhelmed with elation. “I love who you are, and I love who I am when I’m with you. You’ve changed my life.”

With that, the two of them move forward, their eyes drifting shut as their lips meet softly and slowly. It’s not even a proper kiss, just the light touch of lips-against-lips. And yet, Magnus feels like he could do this forever, could stay locked in this embrace for all eternity, with Alec’s loving words forever swirling in his mind.

When they break apart, they lean their foreheads against each other. Alec’s breath fans Magnus’ face, and this sensation is what spurs Magnus to open his mouth, to speak.

“I love you, Alexander,” Magnus opens his eyes. “And, believe it or not, you’ve changed my life in more ways than you could imagine. A year ago, I was a heartbroken mess. And yet, I now don’t regret a moment of it, because everything in my life, including that heartbreak, was what led me to you.” With these words, Magnus reaches out, winding his arms around Alec’s waist and pulling Alec tight against him, burying his head in Alec’s neck as he hugs him tight. Alec’s arms immediately move, reaching around Magnus’ neck as he hugs him back just as fiercely.

Magnus feels like the world could end right now, and he wouldn’t care. He could die right now, and he knows he would die a happy man. They continue to hold each other, enjoying the presence of each other in the still quiet apartment.

Closing his eyes, Magnus reflects on everything that has led him here, to this moment, right now. Who would’ve thought that he would find this love from a stranger he caught staring at him a mere few weeks ago? Who would’ve imagined that he would be holding Tall, Dark and Handsome in his arms, in the middle of the night, after hearing him confess his love? Honestly, Magnus’ life has never been perfect, and there have always been surprises, but nothing has ever struck him with as much surprise, and nothing has ever caused him so much happiness, as the tall, wonderful, sweet, intelligent and incredible man he holds right now that he loves so much.

A quiet noise shocks Magnus, and his eyes open wide as he realises that Alexander is yawning. Immediately, Magnus feels guilt overcome him.

“Shit, it’s late,” Magnus states. “You must be tired.” He wants to continue rambling, but he feels Alec nuzzle further into his neck, and the action immediately silences him.

“I can just sleep here,” Alec mumbles. Magnus chuckles heartily at that.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up when I came?” Magnus questions. Now that he’s said everything he meant to, he can’t help but feel guilty for coming so late. But Alec shakes his head against Magnus’ neck.

“Actually, I couldn’t get to sleep. I was thinking about...” Alec drifts off, his voice sounding a little distant. “Alright, I was thinking about you.”

Joy bursts from Magnus’ chest upon hearing those words, before it’s quashed down by concern. "Whilst I am flattered, I don’t want to be causing you any insomnia,” Magnus laughs, and he finally pulls back from their hug. He notices Alec’s small smile, and how he rubs his eyes, and frowns. “You’re not working until after New Year’s, right?”

Alec nods, that sleepy smile still on his face. Then, as if he’s been electrocuted, his eyes widen and he jolts, gripping Magnus’ shoulders tightly. “But you still have meetings tomorrow, right?”

Magnus nods slowly as he remembers. Ah yes, that 8am meeting. He thought he was screwed before when he thought he would stay up just reading. Now, he’s at least 20 minutes away from his place. Surely the time must be approaching 2am now.

But Magnus just shrugs, because honestly, he doesn’t care how tired he’ll be tomorrow. It’ll all be worth it, because he’s here now, and he loves Alec, and Alec loves him. “Technically, I have a meeting in a few hours,” Magnus admits with a slight chuckle, and this is when he himself lets out a small yawn. After staying up to read, and after the adrenaline rush to get here, Magnus now admits that he does feel pretty tired.

Alec frowns, concern lacing his words as he asks Magnus, “Do you want to sleep here?”

Magnus immediately rushes to say no, opening his mouth to protest, but instead of any words coming out, he yawns again. “No, I really don’t want to impose,” he manages to get out after his yawn. But Alec’s grip tightens on Magnus’ shoulders, rooting him in place.

“You’re not going to impose,” Alec affirms, looking at Magnus directly in the eye. “You’re far too tired to be driving, especially at this hour. And at this point, you need as much sleep as possible,” Alec tilts his head, almost as if he’s silently challenging Magnus to argue against his logic.

But Magnus sees the concern underlying Alec’s words, and he really can’t argue against Alec’s points. Furthermore, every moment they continue speaking, his eyelids feel more and more droopy.

“Alright, I’ll take you up on that sleepover offer,” Magnus jokes, and this is what breaks Alec’s worried frown as the taller man lets out a quiet laugh. Bending down as Alec releases him, Magnus picks up his coat that had fallen onto the floor before. Draping the coat over one arm, he rights himself, standing straight to find Alec holding out his hand with an adorable pout on his face. Chuckling, Magnus reaches out with his other arm, holding onto Alec’s hand and letting Alec guide him until they reach Alec’s bedroom.

When Magnus closes the door behind him, Alec’s hand drops and he moves forward, stealing another kiss. Magnus moans quietly against his lips, tugging on Alec’s bottom lip before letting it go as Alec moves back.

“I really do want you to sleep,” Alec reassures him. “Wait, I don’t want to pressure you. Oh fuck, I just realised what that all sounded like. No, I really do want you to sleep. I mean, well -”

“Alexander, I get it,” Magnus chuckles as he notices Alec glancing worriedly at him. “I got what you meant. And don’t worry,” at this, Magnus leans forward, his lips right next to Alec’s ear. “I will have my wicked way with you, don’t doubt that.”

Magnus notices Alec shiver at the words, and he leans back to find Alec’s hazel eyes wide. With that, Magnus begins to feel his heart rate speed up slightly. However, the spell is broken when Magnus lets another yawn escape him.

Jumping into action, Alec brings out some sweatpants and a shirt for Magnus to change into. He escapes into the bathroom to brush his teeth, allowing Magnus a chance to change. Not that he wouldn’t mind changing in front of Alec, but he notices Alec’s blush as he mumbles how he forgot to brush his teeth before the taller man rushes out of the room. Magnus finds the action oddly hilarious and heartwarming, with Alec attempting to give him some privacy.

But a part of him also hopes that they’ll one day reach the point where there’s no need, when he can be as shameless as he wants to be.

Tucking the thought away for another day, Magnus folds his own clothes, placing them on a small pile near the door along with his coat. He gets his phone and sets his alarm for the morning, placing his phone on the end table before slipping into Alec’s bed. He tilts his head as he takes in a deep breath, and the bed smells overwhelmingly of Alec. Of vanilla and oak, and of something else so distinctly Alec. He takes in a few greedy breaths, eyes fluttering shut as he hears the door to the bathroom open.

Magnus keeps his eyes closed, but it still allows him to notice the loss of light as Alec supposedly turns off the lamp, leaving Magnus in complete darkness. He feels the bed dip with Alec’s weight as Alec settles into bed himself. He can’t help the smile on his face as he feels Alec’s hand find his own, and they intertwine their fingers lightly as Alec properly lies down.

“Goodnight Magnus,” Alec whispers quietly, fingers tracing Magnus’ knuckles ever so lightly.

“Goodnight Alexander,” Magnus parrots back, that feeling of tranquility and peace settling over him. “Thank you for letting me sleep here.”

“It’s no problem,” Alec immediately responds, his grip on Magnus’ hand tightening ever so slightly. Magnus squeezes back, before silence settles over the two of them.

Magnus soaks in the feeling of Alec’s hand in his own, of the soft plush bed emanating that wonderful smell, as his thoughts begin to quieten. And yet, one thing still stands out in his mind.

“Magnus?” he hears Alec question quietly, as if he thinks Magnus has already fallen asleep.

“Hm?” Magnus hums back.

“I love you,” Alec whispers. At the words, Magnus tightens his grip on Alec’s hand, a small smile still somehow managing to cross his face.

“I love you too,” Magnus manages to mumble back. Satisfied with that, all thoughts in Magnus’ mind seem to drift away as sleep overtakes him.

It ends up being the best sleep he’s ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY THEY SAID IT BLESS (also pls imagine Alec to be a way better writer than me hahaha)
> 
> As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	16. Never Been Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec doesn’t know how to tear his eyes away, not when Magnus is looking at him like this.
> 
> Like Alec is something truly special. Someone invaluable.
> 
> Alec realises that he’s never had anyone look at him like this before. And yet, he’s thankful for that. Because the first person to ever look at him like that is Magnus Bane, and Alec knows that, intrinsically, he feels the same. How could he not?
> 
> Magnus Bane is the most incredible person Alec has ever had the honour of knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need some domesticity and fluff after all that omg #saveshadowhunters

The first thing Alec notices when he wakes up is that someone is half-lying on his shoulder. He opens his eyes slowly to find probably the most beautiful image he’s ever been lucky enough to witness.

Magnus Bane, eyes shut as he sleeps, head resting on Alec’s shoulder as his hand rests on Alec’s chest. He looks so peaceful, the lines detailing his stress and sleep-deprivation as of late being smoothed out in his sleep. He seems to have a small smile on his face, as if in the middle of a beautiful dream.

A part of Alec can’t help but wonder how they’d managed to end up in this position during the night. Not that Alec’s complaining or anything.

Every memory from just a few hours ago rushes back to Alec, and he can’t help but grin brightly. This is probably the best thing he could ever possibly wake up to - seeing the man he loves, sleeping adorably, bare-faced and wearing Alec’s clothes.

He can’t help the errant thought of how it’d be better if Magnus _wasn’t_ wearing any clothes, but he quickly brushes the thought aside.

Before Magnus had rushed into the apartment the night before, Alec had been unable to sleep. He’d been thinking about a bunch of things. He’d been reflecting on what Maia and him had been discussing for Elderwood. He’d been pondering as to what the trip in just over a week would entail. But, most importantly and overwhelmingly, he had been thinking about Magnus, and his feelings for Magnus, and because he’s Alec Lightwood, he had tried coming up with some sort of plan of action.

Of course, the plan had been forgotten when he’d seen Magnus, breathless from running, it had seemed. Magnus, who normally would not ever be caught running, who took such care with how he looked, wearing the weirdest assortment of clothes underneath this giant coat and not wearing any jewellery or makeup. And then, the plan had been thrown out of the window entirely when he’d heard Magnus say just three words.

And even though there had been no fanfare, no plans, no huge gifts or anything at all, it had been perfect. Because, at the end of the day, it had just been Alec and Magnus, and that in itself was all that they needed.

Even now, lying here, with Magnus’ words from before reverberating within his head, Alec can’t help but wonder if this is all some crazy dream. Maybe he’d seen an attractive glittery man one day from the Elderwood window, had promptly fallen down and hit his head, and somehow conjured up this entire fantasy whilst he was really in a coma.

Because honestly, Magnus Bane is too good to be true.

But then Magnus sighs softly, breath fanning Alec’s neck, and the sensation brings Alec back to the present, to the here and now. And he’s struck, not for the first time, with an intense feeling of gratitude that their paths crossed all those weeks ago. Alec honestly feels so lucky.

An idea pops into Alec’s head, and although he hates the prospect of leaving the warm cozy bed, complete with his boyfriend in it, he also really wants to act on the idea. Ever so slowly, as to not wake Magnus up, Alec extricates himself from the bed. He has to admit that he doesn’t have the same poise or grace that Magnus innately has, but he silently congratulates himself when he quietly makes it out of the bed without Magnus so much as stirring.

Padding quietly to the kitchen, Alec takes out everything he needs, careful in trying to keep as quiet as possible and allow Magnus to sleep for as long as he needs to. Alec doesn’t know what time the meeting is, but he knows it’s early. He knows that, when Magnus usually has these early meetings, he either stuffs a piece of fruit in his mouth on his way to work, or just skips breakfast entirely, much to Alec’s irritation.

So Alec hums quietly to himself as he makes pancakes, finding it impossible to wipe the smile from his face. Something about this feels so domesticated, and even though Alec knows the prospect should freak him out, it surprisingly doesn’t.

At some point, when Alec plates up the final pancake, he assumes Magnus’ alarm must go off. He hears Magnus’ voice, rough with sleep, ask “Alexander?” Moments later, Alec looks up from where he’s plating up breakfast on the kitchen island to see his boyfriend, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Alec knows for a fact that Magnus is not a morning person, and the fact that Magnus manages to muster a smile at the sight of the pancakes is something that Alec considers a small victory. Magnus takes out one of the stools, eying the pancakes greedily. Alec places two empty plates out along with a bottle of maple syrup and a box of strawberries he had managed to find.

“Good morning,” Alec chirps as he circles around to sit down on the stool next to Magnus. Magnus tracks his movement, and they're both sitting there, directly looking at each other, and Alec notices Magnus’ shocked wide-eyed expression. Reaching forward, Alec presses a quick kiss to Magnus’ cheek. At that, a soft lazy smile graces Magnus’ face.

There are many facets to the man that is Magnus Bane, but Alec considers it a privilege that he's able to see this side of Magnus that no one else can. Magnus, eyes drooping after just waking up, bare-faced. No bravado, none of the loudness and boldness that he's known for. This is purely Magnus, with his soft smiles and adoring looks and quiet laughter.

“Morning,” Magnus rasps back out. He stretches up as he yawns loudly. “Did you actually make breakfast for me?” There's no judgement in his tone, but rather disbelief and amazement. Alec just nods.

“You need a proper breakfast every once in a while, Magnus,” Alec points out. “Now, come on. Let's eat.”

Magnus opens his mouth as if to say something, but Alec gives him a pointed look. Closing his mouth, Magnus smirks as he reaches out to put the first pancake on his plate.

“Now, how did you manage to make this look like a heart?” Magnus asks, laughing softly as he looks down at his pancake.

“Love is a powerful thing,” Alec jokes, grabbing a pancake for himself. Magnus reaches out to grab the maple syrup, but his gaze flicks up and his eyes won't leave Alec's face.

“You're too good for me. Thank you, this is really sweet of you, Alexander,” Magnus smiles brightly up at Alec, and the two of them lean forward until their lips touch in the softest of kisses.

When they move apart, Alec grins. “Anything for you, Magnus,” Alec says. With that, he points at the maple syrup in Magnus’ hand. “Now hurry up, I want some maple syrup too!”

They spend breakfast laughing and chatting, Magnus speaking of his excitement for the new year and Alec desperately trying to tease out any details about the trip. They eat until they're both full, Magnus commenting on how delicious it was. When they both begin clearing up, after Magnus had forced Alec to let him help, Alec tries again, even though he knows this probably isn't going to work.

“Can't you give me one tiny little detail? Anything, Magnus, please?” Alec has to admit, the curiosity is killing him. He trusts Magnus, but he also is a perfectionist and planner by nature. He just wants a rough idea of what’s going to happen.

Pouting at Magnus, Alec puts his hands together. He tries to convey his most pleading expression.

Magnus sighs, running a hand through his hair. Somehow, despite the lack of product and glitter, it still looks good. Alec has a feeling Magnus has some secret power that always makes him look good, no matter what.

“We're flying to  Portland, and then we’re going to drive to a town further away, and that’s where we’re staying,” Magnus supplies. Seemingly pleased with that, Magnus begins to walk out of the kitchen area. Alec trails behind him, brow furrowing in confusion.

“What town?” Alec asks, but Magnus spins around, stopping Alec in his tracks.

“You said one tiny detail. There you go,” Magnus chuckles heartily at that, and laughs even harder when he sees Alec’s displeased expression. “Now, I gotta head back home to grab my things, get some clothes, feed the cat.”

Alec frowns at that, before he remembers that Magnus has his meeting. Why does he have to go to a meeting in between Christmas and New Years? Magnus chuckles upon seeing Alec’s expression, but the frown melts from the taller man’s face when Magnus brings one hand to frame Alec’s face. He slowly leans forward, and Alec’s eyes fall shut as he feels Magnus kiss him softly and slowly.

Every brush of Magnus’ lips against his own just makes Alec even more unhappy that he has to go. He reaches around, gripping Magnus’ hips tightly as he deepens the kiss, his heart hammering in his chest and his mind focusing on only one thing. Alec licks the seam of Magnus’ lips, which part immediately, and he groans into Magnus’ mouth as he holds him close.

When Alec pulls back, he licks his way down Magnus’ neck, kissing and biting and sucking with abandon.

“Alexander,” Magnus moans loudly. The sound immediately goes straight to Alec’s cock. “I’m going to be late.” Even though Alec suspects that Magnus wanted that to sound more authoritative and definitive, the breathy tone of Magnus’ voice has Alec grinning wickedly as he notices the effect he has on the older man.

“Fine,” Alec leans forward, breath ghosting over Magnus’ ear. “Wouldn’t want you to be late,” he sighs, pulling back to find Magnus’ eyes staring deeply into his own. They look darker than usual. That thought alone makes Alec’s breath hitch.

“Since when did you become such a tease?” Magnus questions, laughing.

“I learn from the best,” Alec responds without missing a beat, eyes gazing earnestly at Magnus.

“Says the guy who couldn’t even look me in the eye when we first met.”

“Shut up,” Alec groans, over-exaggerating a pout. The teasing half-smile on his boyfriend’s face melts into a genuine small smile, and Magnus reaches forward to press another chaste kiss to Alec’s cheek.

“I love you,” Magnus whispers.

“I love you too,” Alec responds, his pout turning into a full-blown grin as he says the words. He wonders how he ever managed to have a conversation with Magnus before without saying it. Now that he’s said it once, it feels like he could never get enough of saying those words.

From the way that Magnus beams up at him, Alec has a hunch that Magnus feels the same.

~

The last day of the year finally arrives, and Alec can’t help but admit that he’s a little nervous about meeting Magnus’ friends. He really shouldn’t be, because Magnus keeps reassuring him that they’ll love Alec, but he still can’t help the worry.

“I mean, Raphael never smiles and Ragnor can be a little surly at times. But you’ve got the whole earnest, wide-eyed thing going, and they’ll melt at that,” Magnus explains, almost clinically, to Alec as the two of them finish setting up the dining table.

Alec arches an eyebrow, shooting a bemused expression to his boyfriend. “Earnest, wide-eyed thing?” Alec asks, laughing a little and feeling a little less nervous as he takes a step closer to Magnus. Magnus just nods, humming quietly as he gazes at Alec.

“I would’ve tacked-on the word innocent, but you and I both know that’s a little bit of a lie,” Magnus smirks, gaze roaming over his boyfriend. The look has Alec’s heart rate spiking, and in an instant, he closes the distance between their bodies.

“Care to prove me right?” Magnus asks, as he seems to notice the effect of his words, eyes darkening a fraction. Alec leans forward until their lips are so close to touching.

“Gladly,” Alec exhales, and roughly pulls Magnus in for a searing kiss with one hand. With the other hand, he trails his hand along Magnus’ leg, before his hand grazes the crotch of Magnus’ pants.

“Fuck, Alexander,” Magnus moans, surprise obvious in his tone. And, more than the surprise, Alec can hear the pure need in Magnus’ voice. Any thoughts about fears for the evening fly out of Alec’s mind as he latches onto Magnus’ pulse point and sucking roughly whilst continuing his ministrations below. Every whimpering sound that Magnus makes goes straight to Alec’s cock, and he seriously can’t bring himself to focus on anything else except this man before him. Alec wants nothing more than to pleasure the man he loves more than anything.

The intercom buzzes, signalling the arrival of Magnus’ friends. Alec immediately breaks away, and he feels cold from the loss of heat. Magnus opens his eyes, gaze wild and dark, and Alec just smirks.

“You should probably get that,” Alec motions to the intercom.

“I hate you,” Magnus mock-whispers, eyes narrowed. Alec just laughs brightly.

“Come on, you love me,” Alec jokes, and he’s so happy upon realising how confident he feels in that. Months ago, he had always questioned whether he would ever meet anyone like this. Someone so amazing. The kind of person he had dreamed of being with since he was young. And now, here he is, somehow better than Alec could’ve ever imagined, and he can say confidently that this incredible man loves him. And Alec loves him too.

As if reading his thoughts, Magnus’ fake frown cracks, a small smile on his face as he walks over to buzz his friends up. “You’re right, I do,” Magnus chuckles back, before he turns to the intercom to let everyone in.

A new wave of worry washes over him, and Magnus must be able to tell, because he turns back to Alec with a soft genuine smile on his face. “I’m being 100% serious here, Alec. I love those guys, and I know they’ll love you too,” Magnus says. When Alec faces down, suddenly becoming very interested in how his shoes look, Magnus brings a hand to his face to tilt Alec’s face back up. “Besides, the only other person I’ve ever shown to them was Camille. So you already have a head start in that regard.”

Alec levels Magnus with a pensive look, and Magnus sighs. “They’ll love you,” Magnus emphasises one more time. “Even if you’ve become such a big fucking tease.” This is what allows Alec to crack a smile, which works out just in time, because they hear a loud knock at the front door.

Magnus moves to the front door, shooting Alec a reassuring smile before opening the door. Three different people all walk in, conveying varying forms of excitement. The first person is a shorter darker woman, who Alec surmises is Catarina. She barges into the apartment, immediately wrapping Magnus in a giant hug. Even as she hugs Magnus, her eyes flit around the apartment until they land on Alec.

Deep brown eyes widening, the woman extricates herself from Magnus, immediately rushing forward and pulling Alec into a hug too. Whilst he’s initially a little shocked, he squeezes the shorter woman back before she pulls back.

“You must be Alec,” Catarina smiles. “I’m Catarina.”

She seems very warm, and Alec instantly takes a liking to her. “Nice to meet you,” Alec chuckles. Then he looks past her to spot the next person, a taller-looking man who seems to have a similar knack for dramatic fashion to Magnus. He walks forward, shooting a sly grin in Alec’s direction as he extends a hand out.

“Ragnor Fell,” he introduces himself, and Alec notes the lilt of an accent in his voice. Alec takes the hand, shaking it firmly.

“Alec Lightwood,” Alec smiles. Ragnor seems to squint at Alec for a brief moment, and Alec is struck with the weirdest feeling of being analysed. But then Ragnor is smiling, and they let go of each other’s hands, which allows Alec to spot the final person. He’s a shorter looking man, wearing all-black, and his expression remains neutral as he approaches Alec.

“You must be Raphael,” Alec supplies when the man doesn’t say anything. Alec tries not to feel too disheartened by the lack-of-response, and holds out a hand. Raphael considers it for a moment, before he brings out his own hand to shake Alec’s hand quickly.

“And you’re Alec,” Raphael says, expression shifting slightly as one side of his mouth quirks up the smallest bit. He doesn’t say anything more, but Alec already feels empowered by the fact that Raphael said anything to him in the first place. Magnus had told him that Raphael is normally not very talkative to strangers, so Alec takes this as a small victory.

The three of them move over to the dining table, and Magnus comes up to Alec whilst the three of them put down their own dishes and settle down.

“They all love you,” Magnus whispers quietly. Alec shakes his head.

“How can you tell that? I literally just met them,” Alec points out.

“I just know,” Magnus answers, a little cryptically in Alec’s opinion, before he moves over to the dining table. Alec puts a hand up to try and stop him, but instead, he just follows Magnus into the dining room.

Despite his earlier concerns, Alec finds it really easy to converse with Magnus’ friends, especially Catarina. Alec figures out pretty early on that Cat and Ragnor are married, and he’s surprised by how much the three of them already seem to know about him.

When Ragnor mentions how happy he is to have found a fan in Alec’s sister, Alec finally rounds on Magnus. “Just how much have you talked about me already?” Alec asks, and although he asks it in an attempt to sound annoyed, he secretly feels really touched. This feeling just grows when Magnus turns, fixing Alec with the most earnest expression.

“I probably need an intervention, considering how much I talk about you,” Magnus explains, chuckling a little sheepishly. Alec finds the sound really endearing.

“He’s not wrong there,” Raphael quips.

Alec just finds it too sweet. He can’t stop himself from reaching his hand out to rest on top of Magnus’. Magnus immediately turns his palm up so that their hands interlock properly, squeezing lightly.

Catarina can’t contain her loud squeal. Ragnor looks between the two of them and just smiles. Raphael uncrosses his arms, his frown softening into a more neutral expression. And Magnus beams up at Alec. That expression alone makes everything worth it.

“Our dear friend was right in telling us that you’re a marvellous cook,” Ragnor says. “The food was incredible.”

“Magnus and I both cooked,” Alec responds, but he’s happy to hear the compliment. “But thank you.”

Ragnor smiles back. Alec likes him too.

Magnus gently takes his hand out of Alec’s, moving to stand up. “I’ll be right back. I just need to go to the bathroom,” Magnus explains as he straightens properly. Despite everything, Alec feels fear grip him as he realises that he’ll be alone with the other three for a few moments. Magnus shoots a reassuring smile and a wink in his direction before he leaves the dining room.

Taking a deep breath, Alec turns back to face the three other people on the other side. It’s not like there’s any tangible shift or anything like that, but Alec suddenly feels like there’s a spotlight shining brightly down, bearing down on him as the three of them all face him.

“I’m assuming this is where the shakedown happens?” Alec asks awkwardly, trying to break the quiet that has settled over the table.

“Shakedown?” Raphael asks, brows knitting together. The other two also mirror similar expressions. Alec takes another rattling breath, willing himself to not sound so awkward.

“You know. You all tell me not to mess with Magnus. I say, yes of course I won’t. That sort of thing,” Alec rambles sheepishly, trying not to stutter over his words. No matter how strong his will is, it seems like he’s just going to continue sounding awkward.

“Really? Honestly, I hadn’t really thought of that. I mean, it goes without saying that if you mess with Magnus, we mess with you,” Catarina muses. When she notices Alec’s eyes widen in fear, she just smiles. “But honestly, you don’t seem like the kind-of person to do that.”

“Of course not,” Alec immediately emphasises, trying to convey the sincerity in his words as he gazes at the three people across from him.

“You’re too earnest and innocent and... nice. I highly doubt you would ever do anything to intentionally hurt Magnus,” Ragnor adds. Alec almost laughs as he recalls his conversation with Magnus earlier, but he still doesn’t feel assured. For some reason, this feels even scarier than the three of them threatening him. Somehow, their faith in him seems just as daunting, if not more.

Noticing his pensive expression, Raphael sighs, leaning forward in his seat. “Look, we’ve seen Magnus at his lowest point. You know about Camille, right?” when Alec nods, Raphael frowns. “She truly was terrible. Dragged Magnus down. But honestly, I’ve never seen Magnus as happy as he’s been in these weeks since he met you.”

Alec is struck speechless by the words, and when he notices Ragnor and Catarina nodding in agreement, he finally feels that knot of anxiety in his stomach begin to unravel a little. The words warm his heart. To hear someone say that they have observed this change in Magnus, all because of Alec, seriously blows his mind.

Yep, he likes Raphael too.

“You’re good for Magnus,” Ragnor reaffirms. “So, no qualms here.” Ragnor’s words finally allow Alec to smile a little, as he feels a lot better, the nerves finally properly dissipating and allowing him to exhale loudly.

Catarina beams. “And you two are so fucking cute!” she squeals, which just makes Alec smile even wider.

“Why yes, we are fucking cute, aren’t we,” Magnus cheers as he walks back into the dining room, not missing a beat. Alec turns in his chair to find Magnus grinning as he makes his way back to the table, and Alec can’t help his own grin that graces his face as he sees Magnus, the words from Raphael, Ragnor and Catarina all swirling in his head.

Magnus raises his eyebrows as he looks at Alec, as if he’s telling Alec silently, _that wasn’t so bad, right?_ Instead of sitting back down, Magnus gestures at the dining table spread. “Are we all finished here?” Magnus asks. When everybody at the table nods, Magnus begins to clean up. Without even needing to think about it, Alec gets out of his chair as well, immediately following in helping clear the table.

When Alec follows Magnus into the kitchen, holding the empty pot that had previously held Alec’s beef casserole, he sees Magnus level him with a serious expression. “Seriously, Alexander, I can do the cleaning up,” Magnus emphasises.

Alec shakes his head firmly. “Nope, I’m helping,” Alec states clearly. When Magnus attempts to snatch the empty pot from his hands, Alec instead holds the pot high above his head, too high for Magnus to swipe it from him.

It’s Alec’s teasing way of telling Magnus that he wants to help. He raises an eyebrow as he glances at Magnus, adorably trying to reach for the pot. And with this glance, he tries to silently tell Magnus, _remember how much you’ve done for me? How much you’ve helped me?_

_We help each other._

“Oh, you,” Magnus squints at Alec, and though Alec suspects he had meant to sound irritated, the words sound more fond and teasing than anything else. As if he understood Alec’s silent plea. Honestly, they know each other so well at this point that it’s probably true. Magnus has always had a habit with reading people, and Alec has the distinct feeling that he himself is no exception to that.

Relenting, Magnus turns back to the dishwasher, placing the rinsed plates inside.

Quickly and methodically, the two of them clear up the dining table whilst the other three settle themselves in Magnus’ living room. And as they chat, Alec gets the distinct impression that, aside from Catarina’s final comment, Magnus hadn’t heard any of the rest of his conversation with the others from before.

Plating up some cookies, Magnus and Alec both make their way to the living room when they’re done cleaning, putting the plate on the coffee table. Wordlessly, the two of them seat themselves on the loveseat adjacent from the couch that the other three sit on. The three of them watch the television, transfixed as they watch a rerun of Friends.

“What episode?” Magnus asks, reaching across to grab a cookie. As he pops it into his mouth, he settles into the loveseat, leaning into Alec. Alec smiles, quietly wrapping one arm around him.

Eyes not leaving the screen, Catarina explains, “You idiot. It’s Chandler and Monica’s wedding.”

Magnus nods, and Alec just sighs. Would this be a really bad time to admit that he’s never even seen Friends before?

As if he can read his thoughts, Magnus turns his face, eyes shining as he looks up at Alec. Alec marvels at how he could possibly have someone as incredible as Magnus look at him like that. With so much adoration. “Have you seen Friends?” Magnus asks quietly, like he already knows the answer.

Alec just sheepishly shakes his head.

“Then we have much to educate you on,” Magnus chuckles.

And so, Catarina starts explaining all of the characters. Ragnor talks about the main plot lines, and any contentious points are met with arguments from Raphael. Something about being on break? In all honesty, Alec sort-of zones out as he notices Magnus laughing loudly as he observes his friends.

_I’ve never seen Magnus as happy as he’s been in these weeks since he met you._

Alec sees Magnus’ bright smile, notices the gold flecks of his eyes twinkling as he glances up at him, and in that moment, Alec realises that, since they met, he too has never been happier.

~

“3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!”

Cheers ring out in the living room, both from the television and the other people in the room. But Alec really can’t focus on anything, or anyone, except Magnus in front of him. Magnus smirks up at him, eyes silently asking him a question as his hands wrap around Alec’s neck. In response to the silent question, Alec’s eyes fall shut as he leans forward. Their lips touch, softly at first, before Alec surges forward more, his arms wrapping around Magnus’ middle as he deepens the kiss.

When they break apart, Magnus gazes up at him, his lips upturned in the softest of smiles. “Happy New Year, Alexander,” he whispers quietly.

“Happy New Year, Magnus,” Alec chuckles back. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Magnus responds instantly, eyes shining up at Alec despite the low lighting of the living room.

“And I love you two!” Catarina’s shout is what draws their attention finally, and even though they are still in each other’s arms, they both turn to find Catarina smugly grinning. Extricating herself from Ragnor’s grip, she holds both her hands, palm-up, to Ragnor and Raphael. “Pay up, boys.”

“You know, since we’re married, that our finances are linked in a way that this exchange is obsolete,” Ragnor tries to argue, but Catarina just pouts at him. Groaning as he relents, Ragnor reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet and takes out some money, reluctantly handing it to his wife. Pleased with herself, Catarina turns to Raphael, who begrudgingly follows Ragnor’s lead and hands Catarina some money.

“Did you guys make a bet or something?” Magnus asks, his arms still wrapped around Alec’s neck. He idly plays with the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck, which Alec finds both distracting and very intimate. Catarina smugly laughs, whilst the two men across from her frown.

“I told you guys he’d pop the L word by the time New Year’s came,” Catarina promptly sticks out her tongue at Ragnor and Raphael. “I am victorious.”

Magnus glances back up at Alec, his expression a mix of disbelief and worry. But Alec just smiles at him reassuringly, before he turns his head to look at Catarina.

“Glad we could help you out then,” Alec chuckles back. Content with that answer, Catarina begins to laugh at the disgruntled expressions on the faces of Ragnor and Raphael. With the others engrossed by Catarina’s teasing, this allows a chance for Magnus to turn back around and whisper a quiet apology.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Alec recalls a similar bet from a while ago, and promptly chuckles at the memory. “Seriously, I find it more hilarious than anything.”

Magnus visibly relaxes at the words, beaming up at Alec. And that expression of devotion and love is clear as day on Magnus’ face. Alec doesn’t know how to tear his eyes away, not when Magnus is looking at him like this.

Like Alec is something truly special. Someone invaluable.

Alec realises that he’s never had anyone look at him like this before. And yet, he’s thankful for that. Because the first person to ever look at him like that is Magnus Bane, and Alec knows that, intrinsically, he feels the same. How could he not?

Magnus Bane is the most incredible person Alec has ever had the honour of knowing.

Soon after, the other three leave the apartment, in a flurry of hugs and handshakes and well wishes. Alec feels incredibly light after all of this. He hates to admit it, but he had been really worried that the others wouldn’t have approved of him.

Magnus walks up to Alec when it’s just them alone, a soft smile on his face. “Not so bad, right?” he questions, quirking an eyebrow. Despite the teasing tone, Alec can hear the underlying sincerity. In response, Alec laughs.

“They’re all very nice,” Alec responds. The two of them move to clear up the apartment, Alec reaching over with the remote to shut-off the television.

“They weren’t too mean to you whilst I was gone, right?” Magnus asks abruptly when he comes back from the kitchen after putting away the last of the wine glasses.

Alec shakes his head when he thinks about how they’d actually been too nice to him. They all really have faith in him. The thought is terrifying, and yet reassuring at the same time.

Everyone else who has ever been with Magnus has obviously never seen just how incredible he is. But Alec knows that he’s never letting Magnus go. Not a chance in the world.

But Alec doesn’t know how to voice this, so instead, he just shakes his head. “They weren’t,” he affirms. Wordlessly, he approaches Magnus, meeting him in the middle of the living room. Leaning forward, Alec’s eyes closes as his lips meet Magnus’ lips, their movements languid and slow.

When Alec pulls away, he allows himself a moment to just... look at Magnus. He reaches up, a hand tentatively touching the side of Magnus’ face, and he can’t help his smile when he feels Magnus slowly lean into the touch. Magnus’ eyes flutter shut, and Alec seriously can’t get over how attractive he is. Not only is Magnus an incredible person with an amazing personality, but he is so gorgeous that it still manages to take Alec’s breath away every time.

Noticing something now that he’s this close, Alec lets out a laugh. Magnus opens his eyes, expression shifting to confusion as Alec continues to chuckle.

“I just realised that you’ve had this giant hickey on your neck this whole evening,” Alec explains when Magnus looks up at him questioningly.

And confident Magnus Bane just shrugs, face breaking into a giant grin. “I have no shame. My sexy, teasing, beautiful boyfriend did give it to me,” Magnus chuckles. “Maybe I should return the favour.”

And Alec marvels at his boyfriend, this loud, confident, incredible man, so different and yet so similar to Alec himself. How did he end up this lucky?

So Alec tugs Magnus close, hand reaching forward and interlocking with Magnus’.

Alec leans forward, smiling. “Maybe you should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I love you two!" - Cat is literally me haha
> 
> Shameless plug for y'all to tweet #saveshadowhunters right now guys! We're not going down without a fight! There's a bunch of things we can do to fight for Shadowhunters to be renewed!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated! (and thank you guys so much for 500 kudos, I'm shook)
> 
> Lots of love <3


	17. Let Me Give

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec kisses Magnus once more. It’s the toe-curling, head-dizzying, heart-stopping kind of kiss that makes Magnus want to melt right then and there.
> 
> “Do you want this?” Alec asks, voice rough and raw, when they pull apart. His eyes are still wide, but now hold a certain earnestness that makes Magnus grin.
> 
> “Yes,” Magnus replies without hesitation. “I want you.”
> 
> “I want you too,” Alec echoes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the lack of uploads over the past few weeks! Life has gotten really busy, and it was difficult to find time to write. But I'm back!
> 
> I just wanted you guys to remember that this is MY interpretation of Malec as a relationship. Every relationship is different, every relationship paces differently, and this is only one iteration of that. If you don't like it, then remember, this is just my own spin on it.
> 
> With that being said, there's some NSFW stuff at the very end.
> 
> Hopefully y'all like this chapter! Enjoy!

Of course, Magnus would’ve easily taken Alec up on that offer had Alec’s phone not immediately gone off. Alec had been assaulted with phone calls from the others, in some way to make up for the fact that Alec had missed their usual New Year celebration.

By the time he was finished, it had seemed too late, and the entire mood had shifted.

Even a day later, Magnus can't help but feel a little miffed about the entire thing. At the same time, he does understand. If the situation had been reversed that night, Magnus knows that the other three would've talked his ear off in regards of the festive joy of the new year. 

That morning, Magnus finds a new email from Lydia, with the perky message of “new year, new schedule” attached to a new timetable. Magnus clicks it open, excitement building within him. He double-checks everything, and nods to himself when he sees his schedule is empty for the 7th and 8th of January, cleared for his trip away with Alec.

A lot of the managerial things have been handled now, and as March 20th approaches, now the work will be more focused on the clothing and the modelling and how the evening runs. Magnus is ecstatic at the prospect.

He forwards the email to Alec, attaching it with a message detailing his excitement for the new year. Alec responds soon after, with nothing more than a love heart and a smiley face. Magnus can’t help but mirror the expression as he gets out of bed.

Magnus realises that he has a free morning, and won’t be needed for the new year debrief until 3pm. He decides to spend a peaceful morning in. After preparing for the day, eating his breakfast, and noticing Chairman Meow is out of the apartment (and probably experiencing some kind of riveting adventure), Magnus grabs the book he has currently been reading from the end table.

He’d been too caught up in reading Alec’s story recently that he had left this one on the backburner. It’s a book recommendation from Alec, books they had exchanged a couple of weeks ago. Magnus had taken a break from reading this particular story from Christmas to now, but he reckons that now will be a great chance to continue, and probably finish it.

He’s near the end, and Magnus admits that he really appreciates Alec’s recommendation. It’s a little different to their shared taste in books, with a little less angst and a lot more emotion and sweetness. Maybe that’s a testament to Alec’s changing opinions on relationships. And the fact that Magnus doesn’t find the book corny and annoying like he would’ve before meeting Alec, but rather sweet and pleasantly relatable, may also be a testament to Magnus’ changing opinions too.

Alexander really did manage to worm his way into Magnus’ heart.

And honestly, Magnus isn’t complaining. At all.

There’s still a part of him that is fucking terrified that, one day, things will change and Alec will leave, will break his heart. And yet, with every day that passes, and as Magnus feels himself falling deeper and deeper, he thinks that this part of him, this doubt and worry, is slowly but surely fading away. It’s a work-in-progress, and the scars of the past won’t heal overnight. But Magnus can’t help but think that, with Alec’s help, maybe one day they will.

Magnus isn’t too surprised when he makes it to the end of the story, and finds the ending to be rather cute. He wonders if Alec has finished the recommendation that Magnus gave him.

An idea strikes Magnus at the thought, and he clicks his fingers to himself. Quickly, he reaches out onto the end table to grab his phone, sending a quick text to Alec.

**Magnus [11.02am]:** _ Good morning Alexander! How are you? I was just wondering if you’ve finished the book rec I gave you a while ago? I was thinking maybe we could do another swap today if you’ve finished. _

Magnus starts thinking that he probably won’t get a response until later, but when he sees Alec’s instant reply, he remembers with a jolt that Alec doesn’t start work for another couple of days.

**Alexander [11.04am]:** _ morning magnus. swap sounds good. you want me to come over later? _

Magnus shakes his head to himself when he sees the reply. Why is Alexander always trying to put Magnus before himself? Damn it, the selflessness is both irritating and attractive.

**Magnus [11.06am]:** _ Let’s make a date out of it. Are you free for lunch? I don’t have a meeting today until 3. _

**Alec [11.07am]:** _ ok, sounds good! let me take you somewhere, maybe in williamsburg so you can go to your meeting straight after? _

**Magnus [11.08am]:** _ How thoughtful of you Alexander! Sounds perfect. _

**Alec [11.09am]:** _ ok, i’ll meet you at you at your place at midday? _

**Magnus [11.11am]:** _ Can’t wait, see you then <3 _

Satisfied with himself, Magnus puts his phone back on the end table and gets out of bed. He searches his library until he picks out the exact book that he wants Alec to read next. The idea is crystal clear in his mind, and he hopes that this won’t end up giving too much away.

Magnus busies himself with getting ready for his date. He doesn’t know exactly where in Williamsburg Alec is thinking of taking him, but he trusts Alec’s tastes in numerous areas, and surely he can trust Alec to pick a nice place to eat. In the end, he chooses to wear a low-cut deep emerald shirt, paired with an assortment of necklaces, along with black pants with a stripe of silver along the side of them. He makes his makeup look subtle, matching his eyeshadow with the colour of the shirt.

By the time he hears the telltale buzz of the intercom, Magnus is satisfied with how he looks, ready to go see Alexander. Grabbing Alec’s book, as well as his own recommendation and his belongings he’ll need for the meeting afterwards, Magnus pulls on a dark blue coat and quickly dashes down to meet Alec.

When he sees Alec, Magnus forgets how to breathe for a moment. How is this guy so fucking hot without even trying? Alec wears nothing but sneakers, jeans and a navy hoodie, and somehow he still looks gorgeous.

Magnus, of course, immediately voices this as soon as Alec sees him. In response, Alec’s mouth quirks up in that cute pleased half-smile of his.

“Where do you plan on taking me, Alexander?” Magnus asks out of genuine curiosity as they walk together.

“You'll figure it out soon enough,” Alec answers cryptically as they enter the subway station.

Soon enough, the two of them disembark at the familiar subway station of Williamsburg. Magnus follows Alec blindly as the taller man rambles about his and Maia’s plans for Elderwood in the new year. Magnus allows himself to listen, enjoying the brightness in Alec's voice that always seems to pervade any words in relation to reading or his job.

Alec stops talking suddenly, and Magnus almost feels like he has been jolted from a trance. Seriously, Alec could talk about alternative plumbing methods, and Magnus would still be hooked on every word.

“Here we are. Miss Saigon’s. Best Vietnamese rolls in the world,” Alec introduces a small store, which Magnus has to admit is emitting the loveliest smell. “It's my favourite place to grab lunch in Williamsburg.”

“Sounds delicious,” Magnus smiles warmly up at Alec as the two of them enter.

They are quickly directed to a table, and when an elderly woman, who Magnus assumes is the owner, notices Alec, she immediately seems to nod in recognition and understanding, rushing off without even giving them menus.

“Sorry, Tam’s probably going to bring my regular,” Alec says. “But you won't be disappointed, don't worry.”

Magnus glances around the establishment. It's small, quaint, with some nice paintings scattered around the walls. The heavenly smell from outside seems to amplified in here.

“I can see why you like this place, and I haven't even had the rolls yet,” Magnus chuckles. He quirks an eyebrow as he regards Alec. “Is this how you woo all your dates?”

Alec glances down, scratching the back of his neck. “Tam’s pork rolls are a secret I can't just spill to anybody, so not really,” Alec laughs. He opens his mouth as if to say something else, but instead, after a moment, he just bites his lip. Magnus  _ knows  _ that look, and he tilts his head to the side as he looks at his boyfriend.

“What is it?” Magnus asks. Alec flicks his gaze back up, those entrancing hazel eyes of his so wide, so earnest.

“Nothing, it's just, it's funny because...” Alec leans forward in his seat, a teasing smile on his face. “Well, the day you came in with the book rec and you met Maia. I was out getting lunch, from here.”

“So this place is the reason we didn't meet sooner!” Magnus exclaims, as if he's cracked an unsolvable case. Alec just levels him with an unimpressed look.

“Not exactly. Besides, I like how we ended up meeting,” Alec admits quietly after a beat. “It's kind-of unconventional. But the book recommendation idea was really cute. I think, at the time, I was too nervous in front of you to say that.”

“I reckon we’re pretty unconventional, so it makes sense,” Magnus jokes back, cracking Alec’s serious expression as the younger man laughs quietly. “And you're not as nervous around me now?”

“Yes and no. Maybe I've just gotten better at hiding it,” Alec smiles.

“You're adorable, Alexander,” Magnus whispers quietly. Not that it's any secret that his boyfriend is the cutest thing in the world. “And speaking of book recommendations...”

“Oh, yeah,” Alec bends down and rights himself, holding two books. The first one is the one that Magnus had recommended to him, which he must be returning. Alec raves about it, like Magnus knew he would, because he knows Alec's tastes to a tee. The second one is a new one that Magnus has never seen before, which must be Alec’s new recommendation.

Magnus brings out his own books from his work briefcase, briefly wondering how Alec managed to carry and hide two books on him without Magnus even realising it. Shaking his head, Magnus gives back Alec’s book, talking about how cute and moving and different it was.

“Good different? Or bad different?” Alec asks hurriedly.

“It's great different,” Magnus emphasises. He thinks of that book, of cute relationships, of love and support, and nods with a smile in Alec's direction. Before he can hand-over his recommendation, the elderly woman, Tam, hobbles back to their table, with a large plate of Vietnamese rolls.

Alec immediately grabs one and takes a bite, moaning in apparent joy at the taste. Magnus just gulps, willing himself not to think anything inappropriate at a wholesome lunch date. Alec gestures for Magnus to take one, and he has to admit that the roll is incredible when he bites into it.

“Fuck, these are delicious,” Magnus sighs as he continues to eat.

“Told you,” Alec laughs. “Now, what's my rec?”

Magnus pulls out the familiar beat-up first-edition copy from the briefcase, putting it right in front of Alec. Alec's hazel eyes widen comically when he realises what book it is.

_ “Mythical?” _ Alec questions, surprise obvious in the lilt of his voice. “Magnus, I already own this and I've already read it.”

“We never made any rules about this. I'm recommending for you to reread it,” Magnus explains, smirking as he bites into another roll.

“But Magnus, I already own a copy.”

“I'm assuming your copy isn't a first-edition signed copy?” Magnus asks.

Alec huffs, because he can't really argue against that logic. Logic always works on Alec.

“How come you're recommending a book that we’ve both already read? You know this is my favourite book series, right?”

Magnus nods slowly. How could he forget? But there's a reason why he's done this, and he hopes that he hasn't managed to spill the beans somehow. Alec can be pretty intuitive sometimes.

So instead, Magnus just laughs as he finishes off another roll.

“You’ll figure it out soon enough.”

~

The first week of the year rushes by in a blur of meetings, debriefs and general hysteria considering the shuffled meetings to accommodate Magnus’ vacation. Magnus manages to make it to the following weekend, but only just.

Magnus spends all of Saturday evening after work packing. He knows he has a habit of overpacking, but he also doesn't make any active effort to combat the issue. He just resigns himself to the fact that he’ll end up bringing 80% of the luggage. Maybe more than that. Alec seems like one of those efficient types who could probably fit everything he needs for a two-day trip in a tiny backpack.

This ends up being partially true when Magnus drives to Alec’s apartment on Sunday morning only to find his boyfriend only bringing one mini suitcase for the trip. Magnus gapes at him when he pulls up. Alec walks to the back of the car, and opens the boot to put the suitcase in.

“What the fuck Magnus? We’re going for two days, not five months,” Alec's exasperated voice comes from behind Magnus. In response, Magnus turns in his seat, fixing a smile on his face as his eyes land on Alec.

“Good morning to you too, Alexander. I'm sure you would've assumed that I would overpack,” Alec’s silence indicates that Magnus is correct. “Now stop trying to act annoyed and come here.”

Magnus sees Alec roll his eyes, but he hears the boot door shut and a moment later, Alec slides himself into the passenger seat. He plants a quick kiss on Magnus’ lips, his face breaking into a grin when they pull apart.

“You ready, Alexander?” Magnus asks as he gazed at Alec’s excited expression.

Alec reaches forward, grasping Magnus’ hand with his own. He doesn't say anything, but Magnus can see the gratitude, the excitement, the joy in Alec’s face. He sees, and he knows.

Instead, Alec just smiles. “With you by my side, of course I am.”

~

“Is the blindfold really necessary Magnus?” Alec asks beside Magnus.

“Hush, Alexander. You know that I have a flair for the dramatics,” Magnus chides as he continues to drive.

“I've never been in Maine before. Can't I at least observe the scenery?” Alec asks. Magnus doesn't say anything for a moment as he thinks about it.

The plane trip had gone by smoothly, and after they had landed in Portland, Magnus had immediately gotten a rental car. They had been on the road for an hour and a half before Magnus had insisted on the blindfold. Now, Magnus estimates that they should be arriving at their destination in about ten minutes, just in time for lunch.

Magnus doesn't want to risk the surprise being spoiled by all the signage they seem to pass. He shakes his head, but after a moment, he realises that Alec can't see the action.

“You did some observing before. Besides, I don't want the surprise to be ruined, Alexander,” Magnus explains with sincerity. Alec seems more satisfied with this answer, but he still leans back in his seat in irritation.

“Then I may as well take a nap,” Alec says, and a moment later, no sounds but the crackle of the radio and Alec's adorable snores fill the car. Magnus drives, feeling content as they continue down the road. He passes another sign, indicating that they’ll be in town very soon.

Magnus knows that Alec will appreciate the surprise and the thought behind the destination for their trip, but he still can’t help but feel a little doubtful. What if it goes over Alec’s head? What if the idea is not as intriguing or cool as Magnus thinks it is? What if it ends up being boring, or dull, or stupid?

Magnus shakes his head to himself. Thinking like this is ridiculous. He’s with Alec. Nothing is boring, or dull, or stupid, with Alec. Alec makes everything better.

Finally, they make it to first spot on Magnus’ list for the day. He takes a deep breath, excitement washing over him as he gently shakes Alec awake, whispering to him to keep the blindfold on.

Magnus parks the car, exits it, and opens the passenger-side door for Alec. Alec turns at the sound of the door opening, and wordlessly lets Magnus pull him out of the rental car.

“Can I take off the blindfold now?” Alec asks, still sounding a little groggy. In response, Magnus turns Alec on the spot until they're both facing the main sign of the town.

“Go ahead,” Magnus chuckles. He positions himself to see Alec’s face as the taller man removes the blindfold, eyes widening as he reads the sign before him.

“Welcome to Cape Vale?” Alec reads the sign, tone conveying his disbelief. “We’re in Cape Vale?” His wide hazel eyes are bright, his face breaking out into a giant grin as his gaze shifts to focus on Magnus.

“Yeah, we are,” Magnus laughs, and he’s about to add more but he can't, because Alec tackles him in a fierce hug, effectively ripping the words from Magnus’ lips.

“That's why you suggested  _ Mythical _ to me last week,” Alec whispers, still hugging Magnus tightly. Magnus nods in response and he feels a weight lift off his chest as he realises how happy and excited Alec sounds.

The entirety of the first book in Alec’s favourite book series is set in the real town of Cape Vale, Maine. They even filmed the movie on location here as well. Magnus is still incredibly pleased with himself for having come up with this idea. Alec pulls back from the hug, looking absolutely astounded.

“Now, Alexander, we have a big couple days ahead of us. We can walk around and find a place for lunch?” Magnus questions. Alec shakes his head, mouth parted and eyes wide, and instead of answering the question, he surges forward to kiss Magnus, intense amazement behind every movement of his lips against Magnus’ own.

“This is amazing. You're too good to me,” Alec whispers when they break apart, breath fanning Magnus’ face as he rests his forehead against Magnus’. Magnus just shakes his head.

“Nonsense. Now, let's find some lunch. I'm thinking that we can go to that infamous lighthouse today, and maybe go to the local museum,” Magnus continues to rattle off different locations from both the book and also places he thinks they would like to visit. They walk, hand-in-hand, down the main street, Alec still glancing around him with wide eyes as he takes in his surroundings.

It strikes Magnus in the moment that Alexander has  _ never been out of New York before.  _ Everything here is a new experience, even if they're only a few hours away from home. Magnus can tell from the way that Alec looks at everything, lips parted almost in a state of disbelief. He can't help but feel a little smug to know that Alec is already so excited about their trip and they haven't even really done anything yet.

Magnus just hopes that Alec will enjoy whatever they have in store today.

***

The two of them enjoy a lovely afternoon, eating delicious food and stopping by numerous tourist spots and museums. They also manage to check-in their stuff at the hotel they’re staying at in-between. But Magnus saves the lighthouse for dusk, because he knows from prior research that the Cape Vale Lighthouse has the best view of the sunset over the horizon.

When the two of them disembark from their car, Magnus’ gaze travels to Alec's face. His eyes are wide as he cranes his neck up to take in the full height of the lighthouse they now stand close to. Magnus can't help but feel enraptured by the unbridled amazement and joy in Alec's expression.

Reaching forward to interlock their hands, Magnus chuckles. It tears Alec's gaze from the lighthouse to meet Magnus’ eyes, happiness obvious in the brightness of his smile. Magnus reaches out with his other hand in a small sweep of his arm, gesturing forward. When Alec notices what Magnus is gesturing to, his eyes grow even wider somehow.

“Magnus, how did you manage to pull this off?” Alec asks as the two of them walk forward.

Before them is a small set-up of a picnic rug, complete with blankets and pillows, with a couple of candles and some flowers in the middle of the rug. Magnus brandishes a small basket then, placing it down on the picnic blanket as the two of them sit down.

“Magic, darling,” Magnus winks as they both properly settle. He shivers a little at the cold, and Alec must take that as a sign, because he moves immediately to put the blanket over the both of them.

An exasperated yet amused smile graces Alec’s face, with those hazel eyes gazing at him with curiosity. But before he can retort back with anything, his gaze flits to the side. He lets out a small gasp.

“This view,” Alec breathes out. “This is incredible.”

Magnus follows suit, turning his head to see the sun on the horizon, painting the sky in a vibrant swipe of colours. The lighthouse blinks in the corner of Magnus’ vision, the landscape awash with colour as the sun sets.

And Magnus turns back to see Alec, looking at the expression of his boyfriend - his mouth quirked up in an astounded smile. The last rays of sunlight seem to light up his brown hair, and his eyes shine in a multitude of colours as they gaze off into the distance.

“Yeah,” Magnus hums, staring right at Alec. “It is.”

Alec turns to face Magnus, a small smirk on his face. “You’re a sap,” Alec jokes, playfully shouldering Magnus’ side lightly. Magnus just chuckles.

“You’re the one who made me the sap,” Magnus retorts, voice conveying the playful accusation as he nudges Alec back. “Want some food?”

The conversation lulls as the two of them enjoy the food within Magnus’ picnic basket. They only speak every once in while, whether it be an astounded comment at the scenery, or Alec’s attempts to figure out how Magnus managed to set this entire thing up. Magnus doesn’t reveal anything.

When the food is finished, the sun has set, and the candles have been blown out, the two of them huddle closer together under the blanket as they take in the night landscape. Time drifts by, slowly, as the two of them just bask in the joy of each other’s company, surrounded by the views which are just as beautiful at night time.

Magnus tilts his head up, and nudges Alec to follow suit, and they both laugh brightly as they see the night sky now painted with an array of bright twinkling stars.

“You’d never be able to get this view in New York,” Alec muses aloud. At some point, his arm had come up around Magnus’ shoulder, though Magnus can’t remember when. Now, Alec’s hand moves up and down Magnus’ arm slowly as they both look at the night sky.

“You’re right,” Magnus responds, a strong sense of contentment and peace washing over him. The chill of the night is staved off by the warmth of Alec’s body and his embrace as they cuddle together under the blanket.

Alec’s hand stills on Magnus’ bicep, and he squeezes lightly. It brings Magnus’ gaze from the stars above to those bright hazel eyes, somehow brighter than the twinkling lights above, gazing at him almost reverently in the dim night. Alec looks at him, a combination of emotions playing on his face. All Magnus can tell is that he seems really happy.

“Magnus, this has been amazing,” Alec beams. “And honestly, I don’t think I deserve this. This entire day has been amazing. And this evening has been incredible. The lighthouse, the sunset, the picnic. So thank you, so much. I can’t believe I was lucky enough to meet someone as giving and amazing as you.”

“Of course you deserve this,” Magnus immediately responds. “And I’ve had a great day as well.”

“I know. But this idea, bringing us here, going to the place where one of my favourite books ever was set?” Alec takes a deep breath, pausing, before he continues. “It’s too much. You give too much.”

“It’s worth it for the one I love,” Magnus says, determination and adoration clear in his words. When Alec squints at him, not looking entirely convinced, Magnus sighs loudly. “If it makes you feel any better, remember that  _ Mythical _ is one of my favourites as well, ok?”

Alec just nods, before he takes one of the pillows from the side and places it behind him. He lies down, and Magnus follows soon after.

Now, the two of them lie there, looking up at the twinkling sky. Despite the slight breeze and the crash of the waves below, Magnus can hear, and even feel, Alec’s deep even breaths.

An odd feeling washes over Magnus in this moment. Like, in this moment, an unspoken question remains. One that Magnus feels the need to answer. And in the peace and quiet of this still, peaceful night, Magnus finds it easier to open his mouth. To speak.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s very late into the night now. Or maybe it’s the fact that, this way, he doesn’t have to look Alec in the eye. So he begins to speak, as if he’s having a conversation with the moon and stars, and he holds onto Alec’s hand under the blanket.

“You know, I was actually in a foster family around the time that the first book came out,” Magnus begins, keeping his gaze fixed to the sky. Alec doesn’t make any motion to move, except for squeezing Magnus’ hand back under the blanket. And Magnus almost wants to cry because Alec knows, he always knows what Magnus needs.

He knows that Magnus wouldn’t be able to do this if he had to look him in the eye. Instead, he lets Alec’s solid presence beside him ground him, before he continues.

“By foster family, I mean foster dad. And, honestly, he wasn’t too bad. A little grouchy, neglectful. But I got by,” Magnus continues. “Leagues better than the previous families I’d been in.”

Alec’s short intake of breath is followed by another squeeze, but he doesn’t say anything.

“But then, he started acting weirder. He started being more paranoid when he saw what I was reading. Said it would ‘turn me gay’ or something along those lines,” Magnus shudders just at the thought of Asmodeus. “And then he found out I’d started buying makeup, and he flipped.”

Magnus’ cheeks feel wet. Since when had he started crying? Alec must be able to tell, because he holds Magnus’ hand in a tight grip, thumb slowly stroking Magnus’ hand.

“He demanded an explanation. And man, I was so scared. But then, I realised that I couldn’t hide who I was anymore. So I came out to him. And was promptly beat-up and kicked-out,” Magnus has to admit, he chokes up on the last few words.

Alec must take this as the final straw, because he practically jolts upright, looking down at Magnus with watery eyes that glisten in the moonlight. His hair is a mess, and his cheeks are tinted with a light blush probably from the cold. His large hands come up to frame Magnus’ face, and a grim smile graces his beautiful face.

Magnus has never seen anything so magnificent before.

“I had no idea,” Alec breathes out. “You’ve been through so much. I’m so sorry.”

Magnus shakes his head, slowly rising into a seated position as well. Alec’s hands remain on his face.

His mouth is  _ so close _ to Alec’s. Any movement of his lips would have them practically kissing.

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Magnus sighs. “I’m sorry for ruining the mood.”

“No,” Alec immediately replies, gaze determined. “Never apologise for telling me about yourself. You didn’t ruin the mood, and I’m glad you told me.”

Magnus allows himself to smile slowly up at his boyfriend. “I’m glad too,” Magnus admits, which is absolutely true. It feels like a weight he has carried since he first met Alec, a weight he never even realised he had been burdened with, has been lifted. “Thank you for listening. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alec leans forward, closing the miniscule distance between them and capturing Magnus’ lips in a deep and languid kiss. It makes every nerve ending in Magnus’ body burn brightly, almost as brightly as the stars above. Every feeling of joy and love, all these feelings associated with Alec, seem to build within Magnus as he grabs onto the front of Alec’s coat.

No matter what, Alec has always been so supportive and loving. Magnus has never told anyone about his past, not even Camille. And yet, now that he's bared everything, and now that he knows that Alec is still here, it makes him feel more at peace than he has in years.

When they pull apart, Magnus can feel Alec’s breath fanning his face as they rest their foreheads against each other. When Magnus opens his eyes, his breath hitches as he notices how Alec’s eyes have darkened.

“We should go,” Alec exhales breathily. “It’s getting late. And cold.” Magnus can hear what Alec is trying to say, and it simultaneously makes Magnus feel elated and turned-on. So he just nods, and the two of them quickly and efficiently pack up their stuff and make their way back to the rental car. 

Despite the lateness of the night, the air in the car is charged with something Magnus can’t quite name. It makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he’s surprised when Alec’s hand comes to rest on his thigh for the duration of the drive.

Magnus tries not to feel too distracted, lest he do something like get them lost.

He’s happy to admit that he’s become better at using technology when trying to navigate. Not that he’d ever complain. His incompetence in using Google Maps had been one of the things that had helped him meet Alec in the first place.

Funny how things work out like that.

Nevertheless, the GPS helps them get back to the hotel without much fuss. Quickly, the two of them grab their things from the picnic and bring it inside. They don’t say anything, that frenetic energy still between them.

The hotel room is pretty spacious, and possibly a little overboard considering they’re only here for one night. But Magnus thinks that nothing is too much for Alec. He deserves it.

Most of their stuff had already been dumped into the bedroom when they had checked in earlier. Magnus is thankful for this, because there’s really only one thing on his mind at this point.

Alec seems to be on the same page, because as soon as Magnus shuts the hotel room door with a click, he unceremoniously drops the picnic basket down on the ground, turning around to face Magnus and immediately slamming him against the door, kissing him hard.

Magnus feels dizzy as he surges forward with the same force to kiss Alec back, the bags he’s holding dropping to the ground, forgotten. His hands move on their own accord to wind around Alec’s neck, his nails scratching the hair at the nape as he bites Alec’s lip and swallows a low groan from the taller man. Seemingly in response, Alec’s hands come to rest on Magnus’ ass, applying enough pressure to force Magnus to bring his legs up and wind them around Alec’s waist.

_ Fuck _ , Alec is strong. He immediately readjusts his hands to hold Magnus close as they continue to kiss, Magnus’ legs now wrapped around him, his body still pinned against the door. Magnus’ mouth moves to Alec’s neck, wrenching out desperate-sounding moans and sobs from Alec. It seems to jolt him into action, as Magnus feels himself being lifted from the surface of the hotel door.

The two of them continue to make out as Alec slowly takes the two of them to the door at the end of the hallway. He kicks it down and the two of them continue, Magnus’ mind zoning in on only Alec. The sounds Alec makes, the possessive way Alec holds onto him, the feeling of Alec’s hard body pressed against his own.

Seized with a feeling of free-falling for a brief moment, Magnus’ eyes open as he realises that he’s now lying on the bed. Looking up, he’s struck by the beauty that is Alexander Lightwood. His dark hair is dishevelled, his hazel eyes are blown wide, and his lips look swollen and red. There’s a teasing smirk and a faint blush adorning his face, and Magnus can see the hickeys already beginning to form on his neck.

He’s perfect in Magnus’ eyes.

And yet, under all the lust emanating from him, Magnus can see something deeper in Alec’s gaze. Adoration, excitement, a little bit of nervousness. All these feelings that Magnus himself also can’t help but feel.

Alec leans forward, arms now bracketing Magnus’ body as he lies on top of him on the bed.

Alec kisses Magnus once more. It’s the toe-curling, head-dizzying, heart-stopping kind of kiss that makes Magnus want to melt right then and there.

“Do you want this?” Alec asks, voice rough and raw, when they pull apart. His eyes are still wide, but now hold a certain earnestness that makes Magnus grin.

“Yes,” Magnus replies without hesitation. “I want you.”

“I want you too,” Alec echoes back. And as if a dam has been released, the two of them come together, kissing and grinding and forgetting the world around them.

Their shirts come off far too easily after that. Magnus thinks he could never get over how gorgeous Alec is, inside and out. When Magnus’ own shirt comes off, he notices Alec fix him with a far-off expression, and he hopes that Alec thinks the same for him as well.

Magnus flips them on the bed when they’re both shirtless, and promptly begins to kiss all the exposed skin. He kisses down Alec’s neck, bites his pulse point, and salves away the sting of the bit, before continuing his path down Alec’s chest. He tongues one of Alec’s nipples, and hears a sharp whine that indicates that Alec likes it.

He spends what could probably be an obscene amount of time just worshipping Alec’s chest, because honestly, Alec’s chest is a work of art. Magnus continues kissing down to his abs, smirking to himself as he feels Alec shudder from the sensations.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Magnus breathes out as he finally pulls back, his hands now moving to the button on Alec’s pants. Alec somehow looks absolutely wrecked, even though they’re still half-dressed, and that fact alone seems so intoxicating to Magnus that it makes him somehow harder than before.

“Says you,” Alec manages to choke back. In response, Magnus pushes his hand against the bulge in Alec’s pants slowly. A low moan escapes Alec’s mouth at that.

Magnus quirks an eyebrow as he taps the button of Alec’s pants again. “Is this ok?” he asks.

Alec’s words seem to fail him, but he just nods frantically instead. Magnus, in the midst of all this, still somehow finds that really cute.

So Magnus takes Alec’s pants off, slowly, and when he fully takes them off, he’s struck by the fact that Alec’s now only in his boxers. But before he can really revel in that fact, he feels Alec tug on one of his necklaces. Never one to resist his man, Magnus crawls back up the bed, and their mouths rejoin once again.

Somehow, Alec manages to flip them, and now, Magnus lies with his back to the bed again. He catches a mischievous smirk cross Alec’s face, hears a hint of a laugh, and something about it seems so infuriatingly cocky that Magnus can only think of one thing to shut him up.

In one fell swoop, Magnus tugs down both his own pants and boxers.

The surprise that blooms across Alec’s face immediately melts into an expression of awe that has Magnus’ breath hitching. He realises in that moment that he’s sort-of just laid himself bare. But the desire and joy in Alec’s hazel eyes stop any feelings of embarrassment and worry from breaking through.

“You are incredible,” Alec exhales as he looks at Magnus reverently. He comes forward again, kissing Magnus hard. Magnus groans loudly when he feels the friction between his bare cock and the fabric of Alec’s boxers.

Mirroring Magnus’ actions from earlier, Alec moves from kissing Magnus’ mouth to along his neck. He bites once, twice, before he continues his path down. Except now, in between kisses, Alec continues to speak.

“This entire thing has been incredible, Magnus,” Alec says as he kisses down Magnus’ chest. “You’re so thoughtful and giving.” More kisses. Alec circles his tongue around one of Magnus’ nipples, prompting Magnus to cry out from the sensation.

"You've been through so much, and yet, despite all that, you've grown into the kindest person I know," the shower of compliments is further messing with Magnus' head. He can't bring himself to say anything back, because he feels overwhelmed with emotion and sensation and the feeling is indescribable.

“You’ve given so much to me. Not just today, but ever since I met you,” Alec continues, kissing further down to Magnus’ abs. Alec’s mouth is so close to where Magnus really  _ wants  _ his mouth to be, but he also doesn’t seem like he’s finished.

As if reading his thoughts, Alec kisses down but stops right at Magnus’ cock.

“You deserve a chance to lie back and enjoy yourself,” Alec whispers seductively. Considering how he’s positioned, and the breathiness in his voice, Magnus knows what he’s implying.

All the blood that should be pumping through Magnus’ brain right now, in hopes of formulating some words, has already gone south. So Alec continues speaking.

“So, Magnus, will you let me give you something back?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MUAHAHA cliffhangers are fun.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	18. The Best Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Alec had been told, just a few months ago, that he would be lucky enough to meet someone like Magnus Bane in the future, Alec would’ve laughed at the ludicracy of the idea. Because that’s the thing about Magnus. He’s smart and ambitious and quick, but also sweet and kind and compassionate. He’s gorgeous both inside and out, and Alec thinks of how, in the past, he would’ve found it impossible to ever fall so deeply in love before.
> 
> Before meeting him, the concept of being with someone as imperfectly perfect as Magnus had seemed like an impossible idea to Alec.
> 
> But now, here he is, enjoying probably the most expensive Christmas present he’s ever received. And yet, despite the joy and grandeur of the trip, the best part of it, by far, is the fact that Alec has been able to spend this time with Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be real with y'all, majority of this chapter is smut hahaha. If you want to skip it, just scroll to the first row of asterisks and go from there. :D
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

Surely, some of the wine that Alec has consumed over the course of the night is part of the reason he feels such brazen confidence in the way he speaks. Without the liquid courage, Alec probably would've been stunned into silence.

Because seriously, Alec feels absolutely floored, seeing Magnus Bane completely bare for him. He’s incredible, somehow even more beautiful than Alec had imagined, and the heat beneath Magnus’ gaze makes Alec’s heart beat even harder somehow.

The question hangs within their shared space, and Alec keeps his gaze fixed on Magnus’ face, even though his mouth is very close to the older man’s cock. But no, Alec wants to _see_ Magnus’ reaction.

Alec notes disbelief, amazement and joy cross Magnus’ face, all underpinned by his desire, evident in his dark eyes. The air between them is charged in this moment, as Magnus’ face turns into an expression that Alec could only really describe as pleading.

“Alexander, _please,”_ Magnus moans. Alec really doesn’t need any more encouragement.

Without any preamble, Alec surges forward, capturing Magnus in his mouth and immediately getting to work. Licking, sucking and bobbing his head steadily, Alec focuses on making Magnus feel as good as possible. Judging by the wrecked moans and cries echoing from Magnus’ mouth above him, Alec assumes he must be doing alright.

A part of him still can’t believe this is happening. How in the world did he end up this lucky, to meet someone as incredible as Magnus Bane? Someone who gives with all his heart, who loves so deeply and fiercely, who looks like an angel on earth? After everything that Magnus has given him, Alec needs to do this for him. Needs to just _give back._

So, Alec acts with only one mission in mind - giving Magnus all the pleasure he deserves. He sucks with renewed vigour as he feels Magnus’ fingers thread through his hair, tugging lightly. When Alec feels Magnus’ cock touch the back of his throat, Magnus lets out a guttural moan.

 _“Oh fuck, Alexander,”_ Magnus whines, his grip on Alec’s hair tightening. The words, coupled with the feeling of Magnus’ hands on him, push Alec to work even harder. He licks and sucks and greedily devours every movement and every sound that Magnus makes.

The whole thing has Alec growing harder himself. The act of trying to bring Magnus his pleasure ignites Alec’s own desire within, setting his skin on fire and making him feel dizzy. He flicks his gaze up at this moment, searching for that handsome face.

He’s not disappointed with what he sees.

Magnus’ head is thrown back, eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open loosely as he lets out a string of obscene sounds that seem to ring within Alec’s head. His hair is a mess, his makeup has gotten smudged, and that elusive blush colours his sun-kissed cheeks.

 _He’s too good to be true,_ Alec thinks dizzily, drunkenly, to himself.

He must be able to sense Alec’s gaze on him, because Magnus wrenches his eyes open, looking down the bed, his gaze locking with Alec’s. His pupils are blown-wide, and when their gazes connect, they both let out deep low moans. The vibrations must cause an overwhelming sensation to Magnus, because he cries out at the feeling.

 _“Alexander,”_ Magnus moans, dragging out the syllables. Alec can’t help but think that his name has never sounded as beautiful as it does when Magnus says it. His gaze is still locked on Alec’s, almost a challenge in itself.

“If you - _ah_ \- you keep going like this, this night is going to - _fuck_ \- going to end a lot earlier than I want it to,” Magnus is sputtering, _sputtering._ Alec never knew it was possible. If he could, he would smirk and laugh in Magnus’ face about it. Instead, he just fixes Magnus with an inquisitive look, slowing down his movements a little.

“There’s only one place where I want to be coming tonight,” Magnus exhales, smirking wickedly. “You’re freakishly good at this, though.” With that, he brings his hands from Alec’s hair down to frame his face. With a soft pop, Alec lets go of Magnus’ cock, and instead follows Magnus’ hands as they guide his face back to Magnus’.

“You are incredible,” Magnus exhales, eyes shining up at Alec. His smirk shifts into a softer smile, and he brings his hands around Alec’s neck. “And so talented with that mouth of yours.” Alec can’t help the slight blush that comes from Magnus’ praise, and to show his appreciation, he surges forward, eyes fluttering shut as his lips meet Magnus’.

This kiss is rough, tantalising, as the two of them seem to battle for dominance within it. Their movements are filled with frenzied lust, evident in the unrelenting force behind their kisses, in the graze of teeth against lips. Alec’s head is spinning, breath coming in hard and fast. He feels Magnus’ withdraw his hands from around his neck, and feels them trail down his chest instead. The sensation is so light and teasing, in complete contrast to the way that they frantically kiss each other, until Alec feels Magnus’ fingers rest on the waistband of his boxers.

Even after all this, Magnus’ hand still pauses, waiting for Alec to give him the all clear. In response, Alec just nods wildly against Magnus’ lips. Impatiently, he thrusts against Magnus’ stilled hands, simultaneously encouraging Magnus to strip him of the offending garment, and also causing Alec to moan at the sensation of the friction against his cock.

Seemingly satisfied with that response, Magnus’ quickly tugs off Alec’s boxers. A gasp is wrenched out of Alec as he feels his cock finally being freed, exposed to the cool night air. When he can’t reach any further down, Magnus manages to take off the boxers all the way with his feet. In any other scenario, Alec would marvel at the man’s dexterity.

As it is, Alec really can’t focus on anything but how turned-on he is. Their kisses remain uninterrupted, and when Alec is properly stripped, the two of them grind together and simultaneously groan into each other’s mouths at the feeling of their bare cocks sliding together. Somehow, even like this, Alec can’t help but think that they fit together perfectly, like this. He can’t stop the giddy joyful thought that they are made of each other. In moments like this, Alec thinks that maybe, just maybe, it really is true.

“How do you want to do this?” Magnus gasps out between kisses. It's startling how easily the answer hurtles through Alec’s mind at the question.

“Fuck me,” Alec exhales breathily into Magnus’ mouth. A low growl and a glint of smile from Magnus is all the warning Alec gets before he feels himself getting flipped on the bed. The soft sheets beneath contrast sharply with the strong hard body grinding down on top of him, and it makes Alec’s head feel even more dizzy.

Magnus leans back, stretching across the bed. Alec doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he’s not going to complain, because the view of Magnus’ toned body stretching is entertaining enough. When Magnus leans back towards him, Alec realises that Magnus has grabbed some lube and a condom from what Alec assumes must be from one of the many bags of Magnus’ scattered around the room.

There’s no denying the heat in Magnus’ gaze, but as he shifts lower on the bed, his gaze holds an underlying tenderness that steals Alec’s breath. “Have you done this before? Like, this specifically?” Magnus asks lowly.

Alec hates himself for it, but he still blushes, which he really shouldn’t be doing at this point. But it’s not like he can lie about this or anything.

“Uh, not this specifically,” Alec mumbles, glancing up at the ceiling and avoiding Magnus’ piercing golden-brown eyes.

Alec hates admitting it. In another world, maybe, he would’ve had more of a chance to explore and experiment. As it is, he has managed to do a lot of things in the course of dates over the years, but never this specifically. A part of Alec is really happy that his first proper time like this will be with the real love of his life, but a part of him can’t help but feel embarrassed when faced with his own inexperience.

“Hey,” Alec feels a hand touch his cheek tentatively, and glances back down to see Magnus has shifted back up the bed a little bit. His voice is raw and tender, the lilting tone of it as entrancing to Alec as every part of the incredible man before him. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alec. I want this to be good for you, so I need you to relax. Is that ok?” Magnus’ words wash over Alec, encasing him in such a strong feeling of security and love.

Alec swallows before he murmurs back, “Ok.” Their lips find each other easily after that, every kiss sending Alec further into a frenzy. He hears movement, and as he feels Magnus separate from him, he opens his eyes to find Magnus in the process of removing his rings.

Ok, something about that image has Alec’s senses going into overdrive. It’s so random, but the vision of his beautiful boyfriend removing his jewellery to get ready to fuck him is obscenely hot, in Alec’s opinion.

“If you feel uncomfortable or want to stop, let me know,” Magnus murmurs as he grabs the bottle of lube. “Just relax.”

Alec has to admit, Magnus’ doting and sweet voice does help in relaxing him a little. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, willing his body to relax.

A groan is wrenched out of Alec when he feels Magnus bite the sensitive skin near his collarbone, and the following pecks and kisses along his chest have Alec practically melting on the spot. When he feels that initial intrusion, he focuses on Magnus’ lips on his skin instead, allowing himself to properly relax.

Alec feels soft lips trace up his neck, and a moment later, those enchanting lips meet his. Magnus kisses him slowly, and Alec savours the taste of Magnus dancing on his tongue, and the smell of sandalwood that permeates the air between. Alec can’t help but distantly note that Magnus seems to always smell like sandalwood, no matter what.

Magnus slowly pumps his digit into Alec, in time with their languid kisses. Whilst there’s some initial discomfort, pretty soon, Alec feels like one finger isn’t enough.

“More?” Magnus questions. Alec can’t find the words, so he just nods frantically.

Two fingers turn into three pretty quickly, and any proper discomfort is chased away by Magnus’ kisses and the slow and steady pace at which he drives his fingers into Alec. The feeling has Alec panting harder and louder, the sensation overtaking everything else.

Then, Magnus’ shifts the angle, and the next drag of his fingers has Alec crying out. The pleasure from that single motion has Alec seeing stars.

“Found it,” Magnus whispers into Alec’s ear, hot breath fanning Alec’s face. And so, he continues to hit that same spot with every thrust of his fingers, making Alec groan and whine every single time. He’s reduced to a moaning mess as Magnus continues to fuck him with his fingers. Alec doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything this good before.

“Are you ready Alexander?” the question forces Alec to open his eyes slowly.

Magnus is leaning back, looking at Alec questioningly. The desire and the love in those golden-brown eyes makes Alec’s breath hitch at the sight.

Seriously, how did Alec end up _this lucky?_

“Yeah,” Alec draws out the syllable into another moan as Magnus’ thrusts his fingers into him again.

It’s a shock to Alec when he feels Magnus’ fingers retract, leaving Alec feeling surprisingly empty. He braces himself on his elbows to see Magnus roll on a condom and slather some lube on his glorious cock. _Fuck_ , Alec seriously can’t even think straight at this point.

Magnus comes forward, bracketing his arms and effectively caging Alec in. His face shows just how happy and how turned-on he is, feelings that Alec can’t help but mirror. His lips curve into a small smile as Alec feels him position himself properly.

“I love you,” Magnus whispers.

“I love you too,” Alec answers back immediately. And in one strong thrust, Magnus enters him properly.

Alec has to admit, he definitely feels some pain. But Magnus kisses his mouth lightly, silently telling him to relax. He doesn’t move, which Alec appreciates immensely, and when Alec feels like he’s adjusted well enough, he just nods up at Magnus.

Magnus seems to be able to take the hint, and he begins to move. His thrusts are measured, deep, slow. Alec feels so overwhelmed with sensation, and when Magnus leans forward to capture his lips in a kiss, he surges forward to reciprocate.

One particular thrust has Alec wrenching his head to the side in a violent gasp. Magnus immediately continues to thrust and hit that spot inside Alec dead-on, and he feels Magnus bite the exposed skin of his neck.

Alec feels like he’s being reduced to just a blubbering mess of sensation and desire, with Magnus’ mouth on him and Magnus continuously hitting that sweet spot.

Every wrecked sound that Alec makes seems to have some sort of effect on Magnus, as his thrusts become harder and more frenzied in nature. It has Alec sucking in heaving breaths of air, the pleasure seeming to build-up within him.

“My God, Alexander, you’re going to be the _death of me,_ ” Magnus moans, lips moving against Alec’s neck with every spoken word. The words go straight to Alec’s cock, and another groan is wrenched out of him as Magnus continues to speak. “You’re so fucking incredible. You feel _so good._ ”

“Magnus,” Alec is so overwhelmed, he can’t string together any other words. Right now, the only word he seems to remember is Magnus’ name. Magnus’ pace is unrelenting now, and Alec can somehow intuitively tell that he’s close. _“Magnus,”_ Alec groans again.

In response to that, Magnus’ hand comes up, and in time with his thrusts, he begins to pump Alec’s cock with his hand.

Nevermind, he can remember one other word. _“Fuck, Magnus. Fuck,”_ Alec cries out. Now, he can feel Magnus’ mouth on his skin, Magnus’ hand on his cock, and Magnus’ driving thrusts inside of him. Everything else in the world has faded away, leaving Alec here, surrounded by Magnus.

The only thing Alec can focus on is Magnus. Everything Magnus is doing seems to encase Alec in sensation, and it’s as if Alec’s entire world has been reduced to this. Magnus’ lips on his neck, and Magnus’ hands pumping him, and Magnus’ cock buried deep inside him.

Alec’s entire world, in this moment, is only Magnus. Only Magnus.

The sensations build-up too easily after that. They’re both very close. Magnus leans up, and their lips reconnect once more in a frenzied kiss.

“I’m close,” Alec chokes out. Magnus smirks at him, conveying some sense of control at Alec’s words, but his hips just snap forward more erratically, which just tells Alec that Magnus feels just about as wrecked as he does.

Still, that doesn’t stop Magnus from somehow having the upper hand in all this. Looking down at Alec through his lashes, Magnus leans forward, so close that their lips are practically touching.

“Come for me, then,” Magnus whispers. Alec really doesn’t need to be told twice.

All at once, the sensations overwhelm him, and Alec squeezes his eyes shut as he comes, chanting Magnus’ names in broken sobs and moans as he does. This must be what pushes Magnus to the edge too, for a moment later, he thrusts once more before stilling completely.

The breathy tone of Magnus’ voice as he screams out Alec’s name as he comes is a sound that Alec already knows he’s never going to forget.

Magnus practically collapses on top of Alec after that. After a moment, Magnus slowly pulls out of Alec, and Alec eyes him as he gets out of the bed. The entire thing gives Alec a chance to really admire Magnus’ bare ass as he walks over to the bin to dispose of the condom. Fuck, that man is a work of art. Alec's gaze follows Magnus’ figure as he disappears into the bathroom, coming out only a few moments later with a damp washcloth in hand.

Coming back to the bed, he quickly cleans up the two of them. His movements are slow and tender, and Alec can’t help but feel touched that, even now, Magnus is always thinking of Alec and his comfort first. When he’s done, he tosses the washcloth over his shoulder, almost a little comically, before crawling into the bed beside Alec and bringing the covers properly over the both of them.

“Was that ok? Do you feel ok?” Magnus asks as he settles into position next to Alec, turning his body to the side to face him. Alec can’t help but shake his head in disbelief.

“You are unreal,” Alec sighs in response, placing his hand on Magnus’ cheek. “It was incredible. And what did you think?”

“I think that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles back. The two of them lean forward and share a chaste kiss before breaking apart.

Now that the adrenaline is beginning to wear off, the tiredness as a result of the early wake-up and the long day out finally hits Alec. He yawns quietly, eyes growing heavy, and he smiles slowly to himself as he takes in Magnus’ appearance.

Magnus must’ve removed his makeup when he went to get the washcloth, because Alec notices now that his face is bare. It’s hard to make out much else from the darkness of the room, but Alec sees the glint of his beautiful eyes and the curve of a smile on his lips. He looks perfect in the low-light of the bedroom.

“I love you so much,” Alec murmurs as his eyes flutter shut.

He hears a slight chuckle from Magnus before he hears him whisper back, “I love you so much too.”

***

Alec thought he’d been lucky enough to wake up next to Magnus the last time, but _this_ takes the cake. As he slowly wakes up, every memory of the day before crashes over him at once like a tidal wave.

The excitement of his first time on a plane. The beautiful scenery of Maine as they had driven along. The wonderful day spent out-and-about in Cape Vale. The amazing date night at the lighthouse, watching the most beautiful sunset ever. And the most incredible night of Alec’s life.

And at the centre of all that is the beautiful man who is somehow half-lying on top of him right now.

Magnus, Magnus, Magnus. Magnus holding his hand as they had strolled along the streets. Magnus, gazing up at the stars, teary-eyed, laying his heart on his sleeve. Magnus, stripping himself both physically and emotionally bare for Alec and only Alec.

Alec is so in love with him.

The sun filters through the curtain, illuminating Magnus’ caramel-coloured skin, almost making him look like he’s glowing. Smiling down at his boyfriend, Alec lightly kisses his forehead.

Magnus makes a muffled sound in response, which doesn’t surprise Alec too much. Magnus has never been much of a morning person.

Alec’s stomach growls quietly, which shifts his focus to food. Breakfast sounds like a good idea, but the idea of getting out of the room and going down to the hotel’s restaurant for food sounds too tiring for Alec. He thinks that Magnus will probably hold a similar sentiment.

Instead, he stretches his free arm that isn’t holding Magnus against him, blindly reaching out for the hotel phone. He rings for room service and quickly orders a few things for breakfast, before putting the phone down and extricating himself from the bed.

Getting out of the bed leaves Magnus alone on the bed, and he makes a non-committal groaning sound before he seems to drift off to sleep again. Laughing quietly at the sight, Alec quickly puts on some clothing in time for the room service order.

When the food arrives, the room service waiter holding the cart with the food says, “So I’m assuming you want this cost to be included with your bill at the end of your stay?”

Alec shakes his head firmly, and whips out his wallet. “Actually, I’ll just pay for the food now, thanks,” Alec whispers back quietly. Quickly, Alec pays the bill for the food and, after dismissing the waiter with a smile and a tip, wheels the cart quietly into the hotel room. He tries to set-up everything as nicely as one can with such a small dining table available.

By the time he’s done, he likes to think it actually looks quite nice.

“Something smells really good,” Magnus’ voice rings out from behind Alec, just as he’s finished setting up the table. He whips his head around and sees that Magnus stands before him in only a hotel robe. The bright white of the robe makes his sun-kissed skin look even more entrancing than usual, and the sunlight seems to make his fluffy hair glow, almost like a halo.

 _A literal angel,_ Alec thinks.

“Ah, yeah, uh,” Alec sputters as he shuffles out of the way to showcase the food, and almost knocking over the empty cart in the process. Somehow, despite everything, Magnus Bane still has the power to render him speechless.

“You ordered room service?” Magnus asks as he saunters closer, smirking knowingly up at Alec. Alec just gulps.

“Yeah. I called them while we were still in bed. I thought you heard,” Alec chuckles. In response, Magnus just rolls his eyes.

“Oh Alexander, you already know by now that I’m pretty useless in the morning. That is, until I have one of these,” at this Magnus sits down and grabs one of the coffees on the table. As he takes a sip, Alec smiles and settles into the chair across from Magnus and mirroring his actions by taking a sip of his own drink.

Magnus’ eyes seem to light up as he takes a good look at the food before them. “Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns. Pancakes and french toast. Alexander, this looks so good,” Magnus laughs. Then, something in his expression shifts, and he levels Alec with a suspicious look. “Please tell me you didn’t pay for this.”

“I wouldn’t want to be telling you lies Magnus,” Alec responds, chuckling quietly and diverting his gaze as he takes another sip of coffee. When he looks back across the table, he sees Magnus frowning.

Alec reaches out the hand that isn’t holding his coffee, grabbing Magnus’ free hand that rests on the table. “You’ve already covered basically all of this trip cost-wise. Breakfast is nothing, honestly. So please, don’t worry about it,” Alec smiles reassuringly in Magnus’ direction.

“Fine,” Magnus sighs, and though he sounds a little annoyed, a small smile breaks through on his face. Alec squeezes his hand tightly before letting go, and the two of them enjoy their meal in the peace of the hotel room.

The food is seriously delicious. Alec moans at how good the french toast is when he pops it into his mouth. He pretends that he doesn’t notice Magnus’ eyes darken a fraction at the sound.

A moment later, Magnus sighs loudly as he takes a bite of scrambled eggs. Alec tries really hard not to zero in on the sound, or else do something dumb, like throw all the food he paid for onto the floor to crawl across the table and have his way with the beautiful man across from him.

Instead, he just pops a piece of bacon in his mouth. _“Fuck,”_  he moans. “This is delicious.” The words seem to have their desired effect, as Magnus’ hands still their movement, a piece of pancake wavering just in front of his mouth. He arches an eyebrow in Alec’s direction, and Alec can’t ignore the fact that his golden-brown eyes have definitely darkened at this point.

“Well, _Alexander,”_ Magnus purrs. The way he says Alec's name alone makes some of Alec's blood run south, makes his skin prickle and his pulse jump. Magnus quirks an eyebrow as he redirects the hand holding his fork, directing the food on the end of it towards Alec. “You really should try the pancakes. They’re fucking fantastic.” His eyes hold a silent challenge within them.

Any shyness Alec naturally feels is immediately pushed aside by the competitive light in Magnus’ eyes, pushing Alec to keep his eyes locked on Magnus’ face as he inches forward and slowly takes the piece of pancake in his mouth. He exaggerates a low moan as he tastes the food, and makes sure to keep his gaze locked on Magnus' as he licks his lips.

“You're not wrong,” Alec chuckles. This seems to be the thing that finally sets Magnus off, because before Alec can even say anything else, Magnus is out of his seat. He quickly walks up to Alec, and he yanks Alec to him by the front of his shirt, swallowing a surprised gasp from him as his lips crash into Alec’s.

Shifting his chair around, Alec stands up properly to his full height, wrapping his arms around Magnus as he kisses him back with equal enthusiasm. He feels Magnus’ hands at the waistband of his pants, and the feeling makes him separate from their desperate kiss with a gasp.

“I reckon I should return the favour, from last night,” Magnus murmurs against Alec’s lips, his hot breath against Alec's face feeling so intoxicating to Alec. And if that’s not enough, after Magnus speaks, he immediately drops to his knees in front of Alec in one swift graceful movement. He's eye-level right where Alec is growing harder at this very second.

The action and the position alone has Alec groaning as he feels himself hardening even more in his pants. Magnus Bane is so hot, it shouldn't be possible. And yet, somehow, it is. Somehow, he's just that perfect.

“Fuck, yes,” Alec wants to verbalise more, but his thoughts seemed to have turned to other things at this point. He's feeling dizzy with desire and excitement, and his skin feels like it's on fire despite all the clothing he's wearing.

And the sultry way that Magnus is looking at him, down on the dining room floor on his knees, is such an obscene image that already has Alec feeling wrecked.

Their breakfast is left pretty much forgotten after that.

***

“No way, Centenary Park?” Alec’s eyes widen as he reads out the large sign propped up in the grass as the two of them drive by. Magnus indicates before parking the car at the side of the road, chuckling quietly as he turns off the engine.

“Yep. It's our last stop before we have to go back to Portland for our flight,” Magnus explains, before disembarking from the car. Alec turns around in his seat to follow suit, but he’s beaten to the punch by Magnus, who quickly opens the passenger door with a swoop of his arm.

“What a gentleman,” Alec chuckles as he gets out. Magnus shuts the door behind him, a small smile on his face.

“I aim to please,” Magnus laughs, winking, before grabbing Alec’s hand and tugging him along behind him.

Alec follows Magnus’ lead as they cross the park, and his eyes widen as he sees them approaching a small pond.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” Alec observes as the two of them stop walking, right near the edge of the pond. He beams when he sees an assortment of ducks chilling in the pond. “They’re adorable!”

Magnus laughs as he brandishes two small pouches seemingly from thin air. “And we get to feed them,” Magnus chuckles, before tossing one of the bags to Alec. Alec catches it, smirking to himself, before he bends down to sit on the soft grass below. Magnus follows suit, and he tears open his bag and begins throwing some pieces into the pond. Alec follows his actions, and the two of them settle into a peaceful silence. The only sounds that pervade the air is the crinkling of plastic and the occasional quack from one of the ducks.

If Alec had been told, just a few months ago, that he would be lucky enough to meet someone like Magnus Bane in the future, Alec would’ve laughed at the ludicracy of the idea. Because that’s the thing about Magnus. He’s smart and ambitious and quick, but also sweet and kind and compassionate. He’s gorgeous both inside and out, and Alec thinks of how, in the past, he would’ve found it impossible to ever fall so deeply in love before.

Before meeting him, the concept of being with someone as imperfectly perfect as Magnus had seemed like an impossible idea to Alec.

But now, here he is, enjoying probably the most expensive Christmas present he’s ever received. And yet, despite the joy and grandeur of the trip, the best part of it, by far, is the fact that Alec has been able to spend this time with Magnus.

Alec always finds himself unable to verbalise his feelings like this. But in the peace of the quiet morning, with their only other companions being the cute little ducks across from them, Alec really wants to say something.

“Thank you, Magnus,” Alec begins, keeping his eyes fixed on the ducks. He throws a piece of food with pinpoint accuracy right in front of one of the neglected ducks at the back of group. “For everything. This is the best Christmas present I’ve ever received.”

He feels Magnus’ eyes on him from these words that have broken the relative silence. Alec steels himself, willing himself to not stutter or blush or sputter, and turns his head to face Magnus properly.

“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” Alec states frankly. “And, for the record, I think that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life.” He keeps his eyes trained on those golden-brown ones, hoping to convey the sincerity and authenticity in his words.

The smile that breaks across Magnus’ face at the words steals Alec’s breath away. Dropping his small bag onto the ground, Magnus leans over, wrapping his arms around Alec’s broad shoulders and kissing him quickly on the mouth.

Alec knows that Magnus is better with his words than he is, but Magnus doesn’t say anything back. He just smiles gratefully up at Alec when they break apart. Alec understands that Magnus is giving him the chance to speak properly. So Alec continues, feeling empowered by the feeling of the ghost of warm lips against his own.

“I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you,” Alec whispers quietly. “I’m so thankful, every single day, that I was lucky enough to meet you, Magnus.”

Magnus smiles up at Alec, his eyes looking a little watery. Alec seriously will never be able to get over how beautiful he is.

Alec reaches up with his hand that isn’t still holding his little bag to hold Magnus’ face.

“I love you,” Alec murmurs quietly.

Magnus finally breaks his silence by whispering back, “I love you too.”

The two of them draw closer to each other, and Alec takes in every sensation as Magnus’ mouth touches his. Magnus’ arms tighten around him, and Alec pours every feeling of joy and amazement and desire and love that has accumulated within him from the first moment he had seen Magnus outside his store that fateful day. In every movement of his mouth against Magnus’, in every sigh he lets out as he feels Magnus’ tongue against his own, and in every stroke of his thumb against Magnus’ cheek, he lets his unchained emotions shine through.

A loud quack from below breaks them apart. Magnus laughs at the seemingly disapproving looks the ducks seem to shoot at them, a clear bright happy sound that makes Alec’s heart burst with happiness.

He knows, without a doubt, that he has never felt so much love in his heart before until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling Jace wouldn't have appreciated that date as much as Alec did...
> 
> Also, trust me to make their first time super sappy. If you haven't already figured it out by now, I'm super into cheesy fluffy stuff like that :D
> 
> And, I got instagram? Because why not? I'm gonna be real for a sec and say I'm not going to post much, I only really got it to keep up with fandom stuff. If you want, you can say hi [here](https://www.instagram.com/onalonaa/)
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	19. Opening Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Alec is different, in the best way possible. He puts his heart on his sleeve, and despite his shyness, he throws himself honestly into whatever he needs to. Magnus has seen it in how he cares for his friends and siblings. He’s seen it in the passionate way he tries his best to run Elderwood.
> 
> He’s seen it in Alec’s wholehearted love for him. For Magnus. In how Alec always tries his best to speak his mind, even when shyness turns the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears pink. In how Alec always tries to comfort, to help, to support Magnus. In how Alec opens himself up for Magnus, radiating unchained emotion and vulnerability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'm going to update a chapter saying our show's been saved. Alas, today isn't that day, but I will say that Harry Shum Jr looks so hot in his latest insta post, I'm gonna yell.
> 
> That was random but, anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Magnus Bane walks into work on Tuesday morning with the brightest smile on his face. Lydia catches on immediately.

“I'm assuming the trip went well?” Lydia asks as a greeting when Magnus enters the foyer of the building.

“Best trip ever,” Magnus replies, beaming at his friend, and they fall into step together as they continue walking down the hallway.

Lydia shoots a disbelieving look in Magnus’ direction, a small smirk tugging at mouth. “You're saying this when you've been to places like Paris, Milan and Amsterdam before? You're saying this trip to Maine beats all those?”

Magnus tilts his head, as if in thought, before nodding slowly. “Yep. It beats all of those,” Magnus answers, lightness obvious in his steps. When was the last time he’d felt this happy? Magnus can’t fight the smile on his face.

“And why is that?” Lydia asks as Magnus opens one of the doors leading to another hallways, holding it open for Lydia to follow through. As he follows her, the door shuts behind them with a soft click. Magnus catches up with Lydia’s purposeful strides, and he’s powerless to fight the smile that reaches his face.

“A trip is only so good as the people you’re with,” Magnus muses, turning his head to the side to see Lydia’s reaction. The statement is loaded, heavy with meaning that Magnus knows Lydia understands.

It’s not just the fact that it had just been just him and Alec in Maine. All those trips in the past, to Paris, to Milan, to Amsterdam, and to so many other exotic amazing places, have all held their own charm. But those trips were also weighed down by the work and the stress associated with each trip. Rather than being with other excited people, Magnus’ colleagues had been blunt, focused on the work rather than enjoying the trip. And, now that Magnus reflects on it, for the majority of the trips he took in the past, he was with Camille.

Lydia’s gaze drops to the floor, and her steps slow. Magnus slows down, following her, and gazes at her profile with confusion.

Lydia takes one deep breath. Then, another. When she brings her gaze back to Magnus, her blue eyes, normally so clear, look stormy.

“I don’t think I ever properly apologised,” Lydia begins. “About how I reacted when I saw Alec, a while ago.”

Magnus’ brow furrows. He remembers that day, the rollercoaster of emotions he had gone through, and he definitely remembers Lydia’s weird reaction to Alec that day. But Magnus had gone and checked in on Lydia just a day later, and she had seemed fine. She had brushed off the entire thing, squared her shoulders, and emphasised how busy she had been.

It seems that it’s taken some time for Lydia to build the nerve to properly confront this. Magnus admires her deeply for this, trying to right this in her head, even though Magnus believes no apology is really necessary.

“You don’t need to -”

“I do. I panicked. I didn’t think I’d be that shaken, but I literally saw his back and freaked out,” Lydia’s words rush out of her. It’s so unlike her, that this really gives Magnus pause. Normally, Lydia is controlled, tempered, steady. She’s been like that even in high school.

“He reminded you of John,” Magnus counters gently. “Which, now that I think about it, is perfectly valid.”

Lydia shakes her head, though it seems to be more to herself than to Magnus. “No. It was rude of me. It would’ve been even ruder if he had seen me. And… I really _thought_ that I was getting over this, but obviously not,” Lydia’s deflated words open Magnus’ eyes to the crux of the issue.

“Lydia, you can’t blame yourself for how you feel. You can’t be mad at yourself for still thinking about John. And, for the record, I’m not upset at all by how you reacted,” Magnus reassures her. A part of him wonders if this is really the place to have such a personal conversation, but the hallway is free of people, and considering the early hour, it will probably remain that way.

“I know. But I’m still very sorry,” Lydia sniffs. “I’m your friend, and in any other situation, I would’ve done what a friend normally does and just calmly introduced myself.”

“I know you would’ve,” Magnus smiles down at the woman. Normally, she exudes an aura of power and authority, but in the rare times like these, she seems so small and vulnerable. It’s jarring, seeing Lydia like this.

“Thank you, Magnus,” Lydia sighs, and, to Magnus’ surprise, Lydia pulls him in for a tight hug. Magnus’ surprise dissipates, and he returns it, closing his eyes. Lydia’s never been one for hugs and cuddles, so she obviously needs this. Magnus is just happy to be there to support her.

When they break apart, Lydia’s eyes look less hazy and more determined. There’s a smile on her face too. It’s small, but it’s there.

“Maybe I just need a break,” Lydia chuckles as they start to walk again. Magnus exaggerates a gasp, putting a hand on his chest in mock shock.

“Lydia Branwell, talking about having a break? I never thought I’d see the day,” Magnus laughs as Lydia shoulders him in the side.

“You’re the one who gave me a travel voucher for Christmas!” Lydia exclaims. Magnus really can’t stop his laughter after that.

***

Magnus spends the rest of the week at meetings. In all honesty, it all passes him by in a flurry of exclamations, of decisions, of laughs with Lydia and glares at Raj.

And snow. There’s a lot of snow over the week.

Sunday is the first day after the trip where he has the afternoon free. After the morning meetings are completed, and a short lunch with Lydia, Magnus manages to drive himself home. He’s pleasantly surprised to see it’s no longer snowing as he drives. Yet, he feels seriously drained after the nonstop work over the course of the week. And to top it all off, he hasn’t really had a chance to see Alexander since the trip. They’ve called a lot, but Magnus fears that, if he doesn’t see those hazel eyes in real life soon, he may begin suffering from withdrawals.

Magnus thinks he must be psychic, for when he walks up to the apartment building, he’s met with the sight of Alexander Lightwood, standing in front of the door into the building.

When their eyes meet, all the accumulated longing within Magnus seems to burst forth in this moment, and he doesn’t even really register his briefcase dropping from his hands as he rushes up to his boyfriend and tackles him in a big hug. Alec immediately reciprocates, his arms wrapping around Magnus’ middle and squeezing tight.

Magnus pulls back only to lean forward and kiss Alec quickly. His lips feel cool, and his arms are still wrapped tightly around him, and Magnus thinks in this moment that he could never ever get sick of the feeling of being with Alec.

“What a nice surprise,” Magnus chuckles in greeting, smiling widely. “Have you been waiting for me in the cold, Alexander?”

Alec blushes, which somehow looks even more adorable due to the beanie that Alec currently wears. Magnus still finds it fascinating how he can still make Alec blush like this after all this time.

“Just a little,” Alec mumbles, a small smile on his face.

“And what brings you here, Alexander?” Magnus questions as he reaches up to cup Alec’s cheek. Alec looks at Magnus, and those entrancing hazel eyes level him with a look full of determination and resolution.

“I wanted to take you somewhere,” Alec says. “The snow has finally let up, and I know you’re free now. If you’re too tired, we can always go another -”

“Alexander, I’m fine,” Magnus chuckles. It’s not a total lie. Seeing Alec always somehow rejuvenates Magnus, and this time is no exception. He already feels more alert, more awake. “Where are we going?”

Alec takes a deep breath, but that resolution is still set within his gaze. And, under that, Magnus sees a sort of intimate admiration in the brightness and openness of his gaze. It leaves Magnus feeling breathless.

“I want to take you to… to see Max,” Alec explains, his mouth set in a grim line. “Would that be ok with you?”

Magnus leans forward, resting his forehead against Alec’s. “Only if it’s ok with you, Alexander,” Magnus emphasises after a moment. Alec just nods his head against Magnus’, and he notices that he’s now closed his eyes. “In that case, I’d love to come.”

“Ok, awesome,” Alec sighs, straightening. He unwraps his arms from Magnus’ body, and uses his hands to readjust his beanie on his head. “I can give you the address and we can go,” Alec claps his hands together, as if to signify the start of some epic plan. Magnus tilts his head, looking at Alec with a quizzical expression.

“Alexander, you can drive us there, if you want,” Magnus informs. “You said you have your license, right?”

Alec’s expression turns grim, but there’s something alight in his eyes. “I know, but I haven’t driven in a while. What if I crash your car or something?” Alec questions, fiddling with the edge of his beanie. Magnus finds the sight adorable.

“I trust that you won’t do that. You know the way to the cemetery, and from the way you had been talking back on our second date, you seemed like you really wanted to drive again,” when Alec doesn’t immediately respond, Magnus begins to worry that he’s misread the situation. Alec stares at a fixed point on the ground, his expression unreadable.

Magnus opens his mouth, to begin to apologise, or something like that, before he hears Alec huff out what sounds like an exasperated chuckle.

“You and your damn memory,” Alec sighs. He brings his gaze to meet Magnus’, and there’s an unashamed hope, even relief, in his eyes. “Would you really be ok with me driving us there?”

Magnus responds by grabbing Alec by the hand, smiling as their hands interlock. “No qualms here,” Magnus chuckles. Reaching down to grab his neglected briefcase, he leads Alec to where he has parked his car. After unlocking the car, Magnus throws a wink in Alec’s direction as he tosses him the keys before he opens the door to the passenger’s seat and sits down. After closing the door, he chucks his briefcase behind him, and it lands loudly on the backseat as Alec enters the car, easily settling into the driver’s position. The two of them wordlessly buckle their seatbelts.

“We should be there in about 20 minutes,” Alec explains as he starts the engine. As he expertly pulls out onto the road, Magnus allows himself the chance to relax.

He observes the scenery pass by. The buildings, the people, the trees, they all seem blur by. And he observes Alec.

Alec is a careful driver. He’s meticulous and focused, like how he is with most things. Magnus knows that there’s an underlying resolve to Alec driving carefully like this.

Thinking like this makes Magnus reflect on Max Lightwood. If he were alive now, he would be a teenager. His life had been taken far too early. Magnus thinks of Alec’s earnest descriptions of his youngest brother, and Magnus can’t help but think that he would’ve loved to have met Max.

The weight behind the fact that Alec wants to take Magnus to see Max’s grave is not lost on Magnus. It really brings things into perspective. The two of them have been through so much, and have learnt so much about each other since they first met. Gone is the facade of the confident, untouchable Magnus Bane that he had presented all those weeks ago. Magnus knows for a fact that Alec has seen Magnus at his lowest, and yet, he still loves Magnus with an unrestrained passion and an earnest regard.

Magnus has never felt so close to someone before.

And now that Alec is taking Magnus to see Max, Magnus can’t help but believe that, surely, Alec feels the same.

Magnus sees it, in the determined expression on his boyfriend’s face as he drives. In the unrestrained raw emotion within those watery hazel eyes when Alec steals glances to Magnus at any red light. Alec has never been one to make a decision lightly. He's honest and frank in whatever he wants, whatever he believes is necessary.

It's shockingly different to the hordes of people Magnus has met in his life. From the blur of the masquerade that is high school, to the fronts put up by so many people in the fashion industry. People who hide their insecurities and their feelings with another drink, with a warm body in their bed for the night. People like Camille, who feign care and sympathy, when all they wish to do is to manipulate.

But Alec is different, in the best way possible. He puts his heart on his sleeve, and despite his shyness, he throws himself honestly into whatever he needs to. Magnus has seen it in how he cares for his friends and siblings. He’s seen it in the passionate way he tries his best to run Elderwood.

He’s seen it in Alec’s wholehearted love for him. For Magnus. In how Alec always tries his best to speak his mind, even when shyness turns the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears pink. In how Alec always tries to comfort, to help, to _support_ Magnus. In how Alec opens himself up for Magnus, radiating unchained emotion and vulnerability.

And now, the two of them driving to the cemetery is another show of that. Alec opening himself up even more. Magnus considers himself lucky to even witness it.

Soon after, Alec takes an exit unfamiliar to Magnus, effortlessly switching lanes and driving carefully down the road careening to the left. Magnus takes note of a large sign upon their arrival, reading out _Idris Cemetery._

At the entrance, there’s a small stall for flowers. Alec quickly hops out and buys a large bouquet, and Magnus notes the sense of familiarity between the single stall-owner and Alec from his position still in the car. Quietly, Alec makes his way back into the car, placing the flowers on the backseat carefully before continuing.

The melancholic mood pervades the air of the car as Alec weaves through different roads inside the cemetery. Magnus looks out and sees what looks like endless acres of graves. The sight is sobering, to say the least, and Magnus doesn’t even have anyone he knows buried here.

He glances worriedly at Alec, but his hazel eyes seem clear as they remain focused on the road ahead.

Finally, Alec pulls up on the dusty area between the gravelly road and the grass, where more graves are laid out. Alec disembarks, and seems to take a page out of Magnus’ book as he opens the passenger door a moment later to let Magnus out. He holds one of Magnus’ hands as Magnus gets out. They exchange no words, the gravity of the place they’re in settling between them.

Alec keeps his grip on Magnus’ hand after the car door has been shut. Whether it’s for Magnus’ benefit, considering he doesn’t know where he’s going, or if it’s necessary for Alec, Magnus doesn’t know. Nonetheless, he squeezes Alec’s hand, a silent show of support. The small grateful smile tinged with affection Alec throws over his shoulder at Magnus at that motion just warms Magnus’ heart even more.

Magnus notes that Alec holds the large bouquet of flowers in his other hand. It’s almost as if the flowers seem to pull Alec forward, guiding him, bringing Magnus along.

After walking for a little bit, Alec stops at a large looking gravestone. Magnus walks up so that he’s standing right next to Alec, and he looks at the gravestone. It reads out:

MAXWELL JOSEPH LIGHTWOOD

2002 - 2012

BELOVED BROTHER AND SON - REST IN PEACE

It’s quite ornate and large, the words etched in seeming so simple, yet holding so much weight. Magnus chances a glance to his side, noting Alec’s determined gaze, fixed on those words.

“Hey, Max,” Alec finally coughs out. His hand remains locked in Magnus’ grip. “Sorry I haven’t been able to visit in awhile. But I want you to meet someone.” At this, Alec flicks his gaze up to Magnus’ face. Those hazel eyes hold a thin veneer of unshed tears. In response to this sight, Magnus slowly disentangles their entwined hands, only to rest his hand against Alec’s cheek. The touch seems to relax him a little, and the taller man expels a loud sigh as Magnus’ thumb strokes his cheek.

“Hi, Max,” Magnus turns to face the gravestone properly. “Nice to meet you.”

It’s overwhelming, Magnus thinks, as he stands here now, thinking about this poor boy. About how he’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Magnus wants to yell, to shout, about the unfairness of it.

He turns back to Alec, sees the understanding in his eyes, and Magnus understands that _Alec knows._ Alec feels the injustice even more than Magnus does. _This is his poor little brother_.

That doesn’t stop Magnus from still feeling anger at this situation.

But he quells it for now. All he wants to do is support Alexander now, to spend this time with Max.

The two of them take out the older wilting flowers placed in the embedded structure at the front of the gravestone that acts like a small vase, and after disposing of them, they both place in the new bouquet. The flowers are a barrage of colour, so vibrant and bright and vivid, in complete contrast to the bleak and sombre place they have been lain. The sight of them in front of the grey gravestone is quite startling.

They sit down on the soft grass after that. Alec speaks, as if a small bespeckled nerd of a boy sits across from them instead of a slab of stone. Magnus feels almost like an intruder, so he just sits quietly.

But Alec talks about every little mundane thing that has happened to him recently. He talks about Elderwood, about how it’s been doing with the new employee Maia. He talks about how his siblings have been doing, though he adds that Izzy and Jace have probably already updated him on everything with their own visits.

He talks about Magnus. And this is the time where Magnus allows himself to interject, just every once in a while. Alec recounts everything, somehow clinging to every little detail in a way that has Magnus reeling.

He had not lied when he had told Alec that he had an impeccable memory regarding their relationship. Yet, as Alec talks, Magnus gets the sense that the same seems to be true for Alec as well.

A small sad smile graces that beautiful face as he glances between the gravestone and Magnus’ face.

“I wish you could meet him, Max,” Alec sighs, blowing out a breath. “Magnus makes me so happy. You two would’ve gotten along so well.” This is when Magnus notices that Alec seems to have finally lost his grip on control, a couple of stray tears trailing down his cheeks. Magnus just quietly leans across, wrapping Alec in a large side-hug, the two of them still facing forward.

For some reason, it finally clicks in Magnus’ head at this point that the corkboard with the older pictures in Alec’s apartment, the pictures with the little boy in them, were pictures of Max Lightwood. The realisation gives Magnus the strength to whisper quietly, “I bet you would’ve easily become my favourite Lightwood, Max.”

A startled smile erupts across Alec’s face, and his teary eyes convey a deep gratefulness that touches Magnus’ heart.

Clicking his fingers, as if he’s conjured a memory, Alec’s eyes widen. “Oh, and I’ve started writing again,” Alec explains. “Thanks to Magnus, actually.”

Magnus shakes his head firmly, which is a little difficult considering they’re still in a side-hug. “No, Max. Alexander found the strength to continue writing by himself. I bet you’d be proud of him,” Magnus counters. Alec just levels him with a disbelieving look, and he looks like he’s about to retort. Instead, Magnus just reaches up and wipes at the tear marks on his boyfriend’s cheeks.

In this moment, Alec unravels. He leans forward, practically collapsing into a proper hug, clutching onto Magnus and sniffing quietly. Magnus says nothing, just grips Alec tighter to him, holding him silently and offering any support he can.

When Alec pulls back, he wipes at his eyes and his face roughly. “I wish you could read it, Max,” Alec says thickly, the words seeming to get lodged in his throat. “I miss you so much.”

There isn’t anything to say after that, so the two of them just sit in peaceful silence for a while, leaning against each other as they remain seated. It’s cold, the chill biting through the layers Magnus wears, but he dare not suggest that they leave. He leaves that to Alec.

After a while, Alec slowly shakes himself before he stands up. He holds out a hand for Magnus to follow suit, and when they’re both standing, they keep their hands connected. Alec’s grip is vice-like, though Magnus knows that he himself would never want to let go.

“It’s getting cold, and dark,” Alec observes as he tears his gaze from the gravestone, glancing around them. The sky is a burst of colour as the sun begins to set, and the racous wind sends chills down Magnus’ spine. “We should go.”

Magnus just nods.

Turning back to face the gravestone, Alec lets out a deep sigh. “We have to go, Max. But we'll be back, don't worry,” Alec chuckles quietly.

“Goodbye, Max,” Magnus adds, and with one final look at the gravestone with that splash of colour given by the bouquet of flowers, the two of them set off towards the car.

When they're back inside, Alec smiles slowly, looking at Magnus with wide eyes. “Thank you for coming, Magnus,” Alec whispers quietly.

Magnus just leans across the centre console, kissing Alec’s cheek. “Thank you for inviting me along,” he responds. With a shared secret smile, the two of them buckle up and begin the drive back.

Unlike on the way here, Alec seems to speak more now, recounting different stories of Max to Magnus. There's a sense of peace in the nostalgia surrounding Max, and Magnus learns more about Alec’s childhood as they careen down the freeway back to Magnus’ place.

Magnus can't help but be struck by Alexander's beauty as he speaks about Max. His hazel eyes are bright as he recalls his stories, his voice animated and the light of dusk warming his features and softening his nostalgic smile. The love he still holds for his late brother is obvious in the words he speaks.

In this moment, he's so happy Alec invited him here to see Max. This is Alec, opening himself up even more now. Unfurling before Magnus, showing every facet there is to the complex person that is Alexander Lightwood.

And Magnus’ heart beats hard in his chest at the very thought. _This one’s the one,_ it almost seems to say. _Never let him go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My babies I love them ah <3 <3 <3 <3
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	20. Harder to Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that Alec can see it so clearly in his mind? Ages from now, of course. But he can see it. He can totally imagine being with Magnus for as long as he can. He can totally see Magnus, looking somehow even more incredible than he does right now, commanding the attention of the room as he walks down the aisle. To Alec.
> 
> Much like when they had been looking into the mirror earlier, Alec gets the sense that he’s thinking too loud. Feels sure that Magnus can tell what he’s thinking. But he doesn’t see fear cross Magnus’ face. No.
> 
> He sees hope.
> 
> It’s Alec’s hope. And it seems to be Magnus’ too. It’s a shared dream. It’ll be years from now, but maybe one day, they’ll get the same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo heads up, smut at the end. And of course, a whole lot of feels!
> 
> Also 20 chapters already what? Feels like yesterday that I started this omg!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!

“Alexander, for the last time! Your speech is going to be great!” Magnus sounds equally fond and exasperated, voice echoing from where Alec assumes is the bathroom. Not like Alec can blame him. He's spent the entire time running through his speech as Jace’s best man whilst both him and Magnus have been running around Magnus’ apartment to get ready for the wedding.

“But it has to be  _ perfect,  _ Magnus,” Alec calls out as he tries for the millionth time to do up his tie. It's such a simple task that most people can do without even thinking, but for some unknown reason, Alec really can't remember how to tie a tie properly. He keeps his eyes fixed on the vanity mirror in Magnus’ room, squatting awkwardly in an attempt to fit his entire upper body and face in the frame.

“And it will be, because you wrote it, and you're incredible with your words,” Magnus’ voice echoes, seeming to bounce closer to Alec. He hears footsteps behind him, sees a flash of sky-high hair in the mirror, and before he can really stop himself, Alec turns around in a bit of a huff. Maybe Magnus can help him with his damn tie.

The huff morphs into some sort of cough when he sees Magnus properly. Any questions about ties, or any expletives aimed at said ties, immediately die on his lips as he takes in Magnus’ appearance.

The suit he wears is a deep burgundy, offset with a crisp white button-up shirt underneath. It’s tight-fitting, accentuating the broadness of Magnus’ shoulders, hinting at the toned muscle underneath. His hair is gelled-up, and his makeup is somehow both bold and understated. Eye-catching enough, but not too much as to take attention away from the bride and groom. There’s an amused smile on his face, his golden skin almost glowing as he looks up at Alec.

Objectively, Alec knows that this definitely isn’t Magnus dressed-up to his peak. It’s formal, yet enticing, and Alec understands that Magnus doesn’t want to take any attention for himself today. But, subjectively, he knows without a doubt that, for him at least, Magnus is definitely going to be the most eye-catching person at the ceremony.

“If I’d known I could’ve shut you up by just standing here, I would’ve come in here ages ago,” Magnus smirks, biting his lip. Despite the control in his words, Magnus’ gaze is raw in it’s hunger, unashamed in nature, as it slowly drags down Alec’s form. There’s a predatory glint in the golden flecks of his eyes that simultaneously makes Alec feel more alert and more dumbfounded than before.

“Uh,” Alec tries to speak, but his mouth feels dry.  _ How the fuck is Magnus so fucking hot, no matter what? The fuck? _

“I assume you need help with your tie again,” Magnus purrs as he drags his gaze back up to Alec’s face. Alec just nods dumbly as Magnus takes slow steps closer.

They end up standing far closer than necessary for Magnus to tie up Alec’s tie, but Alec’s definitely  _ not complaining. _ Magnus braces his ring-adorned hands on Alec’s chest, and Alec is positive that he can feel how hard his heart is beating. The older man looks up at him through his lashes, eyes seeming to glow. He keeps his eyes locked on Alec’s as Alec feels Magnus’ hands move to grab the two ends of the tie hanging loosely around his neck.

Alec doesn’t know why the air feels so charged when Magnus is literally doing up his tie. But they don’t say anything, their gazes locked with each other’s, as Magnus skillfully twists the tie into a proper knot. At least, Alec reckons it looks alright. He doesn’t really want to bother glancing down to check when the alternative is to hold Magnus’ searing gaze.

Magnus seems satisfied with his handiwork after a moment. And yet, instead of taking a step back, he grabs the end of Alec’s tie, dragging a surprised Alec up close. Their kiss is long, ardent and drawn-out. Alec melts into it, like he was made for this. As if he had been made just to kiss Magnus Bane.

When they pull apart, it seems like Alec’s mouth can finally work again. “You’re so gorgeous,” the words are blunt, rushing out of him. Alec doesn’t have Magnus’ grace with the spoken word, doesn’t know how to weave a compliment of desperate love and flowing description. He says what he thinks.

Maybe someone else would find that annoying, would be put off by that. But not Magnus. Alec marvels at how Magnus seems to love the way Alec compliments him. Alec can tell, even now, by the way that Magnus’ smirk morphs into a bright grin, the way his golden-brown eyes light up with unmasked delight.

“And you look positively sinful in a suit, Alexander,” Magnus winks back. Alec definitely thinks the same about Magnus. Meanwhile, he glances down at himself, before he swivels in place to look at himself in the vanity mirror properly. He’s back to squatting awkwardly again.

Seeing the two of them standing together (albeit a little awkwardly) to fit in the vanity mirror frame, Alec suddenly realises that Magnus’ burgundy suit perfectly contrasts with the navy suit Alec himself wears. Instead of a button-up shirt underneath, Alec has a dress shirt on, along with the tie. The tie is silver, probably the only thing that really stands out. In Alec’s opinion, it makes his eyes look more muddy brown than the usual hazel.

Magnus looks gorgeous, and Alec just looks… meh.

“Stop it,” Magnus says firmly, and Alec’s eyes widen as he sees Magnus pout in the mirror. “I already know what you’re thinking, so stop. Alec, I am serious. You look incredible. I know for a fact that I won’t be able to focus on anyone but you, even when the bride and groom come out.” When Alec’s expression doesn’t change, Magnus slowly spins him around to face him again. Gone is the playful teasing, the wicked smirking. Magnus looks up at him, and Alec’s breath catches at the pure amazement and love in his eyes.

“Alexander,  _ you are incredible.  _ Please, don’t doubt that,” Magnus smiles softly up at him.

Alec really can’t think of any other way to respond to that but with a kiss. Magnus always knows, somehow. He always knows what Alec needs to hear.

Things like this really make him think that, honest to goodness, they were made for each other. It sounds corny, which is why Alec never in a million years would voice it out loud, but he still thinks it, sometimes.

Twenty minutes later, the two of them do a last-minute check that they have everything. Chairman Meow makes an appearance, seeming to meow with contentment as his eyes land on Alec. He immediately rushes up to Alec, and Alec laughs heartily as he bends down to scratch the Chairman behind the ears. Magnus’ grumbling about them needing to leave is what makes Alec frown apologetically down at the small cat before standing up and following Magnus out of the apartment.

By the time they’re in the car, Magnus is still pouting a little, grumbling under his breath. Alec finds it hilarious.

“Please don’t tell me you’re jealous,” Alec laughs, amused as he shoots an expression of intrigue in Magnus’ direction. Magnus just shrugs.

“I just don’t get how he’s so chill with you! It took me years to garner that sort of trust!” Magnus sounds petulant, frowning as he looks at the road. His gaze keeps flicking between the front window and the GPS. Alec can  _ feel  _ Magnus’ nervousness at the possibility of getting lost. Navigation has never really been his forte.

And apparently, neither has owning a cat.

“I don’t know what to tell you. Aren’t you happy that I get along with your cat?” Alec’s voice rises, laughter obvious in his tone. It’s a valid question. When Magnus had first introduced Alec to his cat, he had freaked out, more than necessary, about the possibility that Chairman Meow would dislike Alec, or even do something really bad like scratch him. Imagine Magnus’ surprise when Chairman Meow had just hopped into Alec’s lap, purring quietly as Alec had patted his little furry head.

“Of course I’m happy,” Magnus sounds exasperated. “I don’t date anyone the Chairman dislikes.”

“You’re telling me he approved of Camille?” Alec asks, and for a split second, he worries that the joke is in poor taste. But his worry evaporates when he hears Magnus bark out a surprised huff of laughter.

“Camille’s the reason I made that a rule in the first place!” Magnus wheezes between laughs, and Alec can’t help but join in after that. The reaction is just what Alec wants. Alec knows that even just a couple months ago, Magnus would not have been able to laugh like that at the mention of Camille.

But Alec loves Magnus. They're writing a new history together, their own story. If Magnus can look back on everything with a smile, it's reassuring to Alec that he's finally at total peace with the past.

Pretty soon, they both devolve into giggles and chuckles, the conversation having effectively ended at that.

Talking about Chairman Meow allows Alec to reflect on the past few weeks. He’s grown so much closer to Magnus since the trip away and then the trip to the cemetery. It’s a little startling, actually, but it feels so right. He spends most nights over at Magnus’ place now, and with every passing day, Alec finds himself living his life more and more in Magnus Bane’s orbit. And the vice versa can definitely be said for Magnus.

Even thinking about the domesticity of it all just warms Alec’s heart.

Now, the two of them chat idly as they drive to the rec centre for Clary and Jace’s wedding. It’s the last day of January, and even though it’s still practically the middle of winter, it’s quite a nice day. The urge to run-through his speech again seizes him, but Alec doesn’t want to irritate Magnus any further. Besides, going through the speech now will probably just ramp up his anxiety, and he  _ really doesn’t want to do that. _

The only problem with this whole thing is that, from when they get there and for the ceremony, Alec will be separated from Magnus since he’s Jace’s best man. Granted, Magnus will be sitting right at the front for the ceremony the whole time, so they’ll be able to see each other. But they won’t really be able to be together until the reception afterwards.

When they get to the rec centre, the two of them quickly disembark from the car. There’s a few early people mingling, but Alec knows that he has to scout out the groom himself.

With one final apologetic look, Alec blows a quick kiss in Magnus’ direction before they diverge.

***

The music is calming, surging and sweeping around them. Alec stands, along with Simon and a man called Jordan, one of Jace’s closest work friends from the gym. He keeps his hands interlocked in front of him, feet planted in place as he looks forward. He spares a glance across, where he sees Isabelle standing next to Simon’s sister, Rebecca, before he turns his head, looking forward.

Clary stands at the end of the short walkway, one arm linked with her step-father Luke, and another arm linked with her mother, Jocelyn. The dress she wears is ethereal in nature, and Alec has to admit, even if he’s not an expert on the subject, she does look beautiful. As the music seems to swell, Alec’s gaze switches to his brother just in front of him. 

Jace’s eyes are wide, almost glassy. He looks enraptured, absolutely besotted, by the image before him. Alec can’t really blame him. With the love of your life walking up the aisle to you, ready to marry you…

Almost on their own accord, Alec’s eyes trail from Jace’s face to the familiar figure sitting at the very front. Magnus is half-turned in his seat, no doubt to track Clary’s movements as she makes her way up the aisle. Alec knows it’s ridiculous. He really should be  _ focusing on the bride and groom.  _ But he spares himself a moment, to really take in Magnus without those golden-brown eyes looking back. There’s a small smile, of unrestrained awe, on his face. The sunlight streaming through the windows makes the glitter around his eyes seem to shimmer, in sharp contrast to the dark rich colour of his suit.

Alec knows he’s jumping the gun, majorly. But he can’t help the thought. Maybe, just maybe, in a few years, maybe he and Magnus could be in the same -

Alec jolts as he notices Magnus staring back at him. There’s a surprised smile on his face, and it makes Alec think that, maybe, Magnus could be thinking the same thing. Just the possibility makes his heart hammer wildly in his chest.

Quickly, Alec wrenches his gaze away from his beautiful boyfriend, zoning in on Clary, who’s now standing just in front of them. Her parents each give her a kiss on the cheek before they move to their seats at the front, just across the aisle from Magnus. Jace grabs her hand, eyes still wide. Is that a tear managing to slip down his cheek? If it were any other situation, Alec probably wouldn’t believe it.

As it is, it seems like Clary’s on her way to crying too.

Alec sort-of zones out the words of the officiant as he speaks. Mostly, he just alternates his gaze between the couple before him, and Magnus. He finds Magnus to be looking back at him just as often.

Alec had already known this would be the case, but he finds it hard to focus on the bride and groom when Magnus Bane is sitting just a few steps away from him.

When prompted, Alec hands over the rings. He notes that Jace’s hands are steady as he takes them. Funny, because if he were in Jace’s position, Alec knows he’d be a shuddering mess.

The vows are too sweet to bear, and it has half the room crying or sighing by the end. When the rings are properly exchanged, Alec doesn’t miss the intimate shared smiles between Jace and Clary.

“Do you, Jonathan Lightwood, take Clarissa Fairchild, to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?" the officiant speaks, a haughty tone of contentment in his voice.

Jace’s gaze doesn’t leave Clary’s face as he whispers, “I do.”

“And do you, Clarissa Fairchild, take Jonathan Lightwood, to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?"

Clary’s smile is blinding. “I do,” she repeats.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant smiles. Clary and Jace move together, kissing deeply as the room erupts in cheers.

Alec claps loudly, smiling brightly at the couple, and  _ even now,  _ he can’t stop his quick glance in front of him, spotting Magnus also clapping, a wide grin on his face. Magnus must be able to sense his gaze on him, for he shifts his own gaze until they lock onto Alec’s. 

Is it bad that Alec can see it  _ so clearly  _ in his mind? Ages from now, of course. But he can see it. He can totally imagine being with Magnus for as long as he can. He can totally see Magnus, looking somehow even more incredible than he does right now, commanding the attention of the room as he walks down the aisle. To Alec.

Much like when they had been looking into the mirror earlier, Alec gets the sense that he’s thinking too loud. Feels sure that Magnus can tell what he’s thinking. But he doesn’t see fear cross Magnus’ face. No.

He sees hope.

It’s Alec’s hope. And it seems to be Magnus’ too. It’s a shared dream. It’ll be years from now, but maybe one day, they’ll get the same thing.

***

“I’ve known Jace since we were both very little. From the first moment I had seen him, he had stood out,” Alec begins, licking his lips. Everyone is looking at him. Granted, there aren’t many people here. Honestly, Alec would estimate that there’s less than 30 people here. Clary and Jace had opted for a small private wedding in favour of a nice overseas honeymoon. Still, that doesn’t quell his nerves significantly. Alec takes a deep breath, and continues from his memory.

“With his multi-coloured eyes and golden hair, he definitely stood out among the Lightwoods. And yet, he fit in perfectly. He’s been my best friend for forever,” Alec smiles. “And when he’s not spending too much time looking in a mirror and trying to fix his hair, or actively trying to kick my butt at his gym, he’s actually a pretty decent guy.” Chuckles erupt throughout the room at that. Alec finds it comforting.

“Jace has always had my back. He was the popular jock in high school, but he always was there to support his unpopular brother. I still remember one time, when these guys had been bullying me in gym class. Jace had stood up for me immediately. And, of course, he convinced me to use our mixed martial arts skills to totally thrash them in dodgeball straight after,” more laughter comes from that.

Turning slightly so he can look at Jace properly, Alec smiles. “Jace, you are one of the best people I know. You deserve all of this, and I’m so happy for you,” Alec sighs, shifting his gaze to Clary. “And Clary. I’ve known you for years, and you have been such a supportive friend to me during that time. I’m so happy that you and Jace found each other. You two complete each other, and I know that the two of you are incredible people who will love and support each other no matter what the future brings. You guys have always had my back, and I just want to let you both know, that I’ll always have your backs too.”

At this, Alec extends his drink out in the direction of Jace and Clary. “To Jace and Clary!” he cheers.

“To Jace and Clary!” the other guests tilt their drinks up happily, and people begin to clap as Alec sits back down. He lets out a long sigh that he didn’t realise he had been holding.

Magnus grabs his hand from under the table, eyes brimming with affection as he smiles at Alec. “I told you. You were great,” Magnus chuckles.

“Thanks,” Alec sighs, settling into his chair as more people stand up to do their speeches.

Simon and Isabelle both also have speeches, and as their words swirl within the room, Alec keeps his hand locked with Magnus’ under the table, unless they both need to applaud. Pretty soon, the speeches are completed, and before Alec knows it, the small dance floor before them is lit up as Jace and Clary make their way to the platform.

The first dance is sweet, the two of them moving languidly to John Legend’s melodic voice. They only have eyes for each other, Alec can’t help but notice.

_ Cause all of me loves all of you,  _ the words seem to come alive in the small space as Jace and Clary move together. They’re pretty much lost in each other’s gazes, and when the song ends, they seem to get jolted from surprise as more people get up to join them on the dance floor, the song switching to something more upbeat.

“Alexander,” Alec can hear the whine in Magnus’ tone. He turns his head to the side, and can see Magnus blinking up at him, his lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout. 

“I already know what you’re going to ask. And the answer is no,” Alec frowns as he takes a long sip of his drink. Magnus’ pout deepens..

“But everyone else is dancing! You’ve danced before. Remember Just Dance?” Magnus pointing this out just makes Alec tilt his head back with a groan of irritation.

Of course Alec remembers Just Dance. That’s the point! Alec already knows Magnus is a good dancer. Then again, he seems pretty talented in every aspect of life. But Alec, on the other hand, literally has two left feet.

Dancing is a ball game that has never suited him. He’s too tall, is too used to the rigidity of movement in things like archery or mixed martial arts. He’s never been one to just… go with the flow. And it’s different with a video game, because everyone looks weird playing Just Dance. 

Well, except Magnus of course.

But with Just Dance, no matter what score you end up with, you probably looked like an idiot trying to earn points to those ridiculous dance moves, excluding Magnus. And, with Just Dance, Alec had already been pleasantly buzzed at that point.

Alec wants to argue this across, wants to convey how he really doesn’t feel like embarrassing himself in front of Magnus, who’s so talented at dancing (until maybe later, when he’s a little more drunk), but his words falter, just on the tip of his tongue, when he sees Magnus’ expression shift from mock sadness to something just a touch too raw for Alec’s liking.

“I mean, everyone’s focused on what they’re doing. But if you don’t want to be seen dancing with me, I guess that’s valid,” Magnus sighs, and Alec can see how he’s trying to hide how this thought upsets him. He avoids Alec’s gaze, and just like that, Alec is standing up, almost knocking over his chair noisily as he holds his hand out.

“Magnus,” Alec whispers. With the chatter around them and the loud music, he’s worried that Magnus doesn’t hear him. But Magnus’ gaze is brought back to Alec’s, eyes wide with surprise. “You know by now that I don’t give a fuck about what other people think about us. I love you, I just don’t love the thought of dancing and embarrassing myself  _ in front of you _ .” Alec’s words seem to stun Magnus into silence, so Alec just shoves his outreached arm even closer to Magnus.

“But, since I love you so much, I’m willing to embarrass myself in front of you. As long as you don’t hold it against me that  _ I can’t dance to save my life,” _ Alec emphasises his words by gazing deeply into Magnus’ eyes. His voice is light, but his words are undercut with a pleading tone that seems to ring in Alec’s own ears. Magnus’ small frown shifts into an amused smirk, and he takes Alec’s hand before bringing himself to a standing position too.

“We’ll see about that, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles as the two of them make their way to the dance floor. They shoot some smiles to Jace, Clary, Simon and Isabelle, all grooving along to the upbeat music playing throughout the room. Alec turns, facing Magnus properly, as they begin to move.

It’s harmless enough with the pop music. It’s the kind of boppy that doesn’t require too much actual dancing. Nod your head, sway your hips a little, and you’re in the clear. Alec still reckons he probably doesn’t look the most enticing, but it’s manageable.

Magnus obviously looks like he’s in his element, eyes closed as he dances along. Alec is enraptured at the sight.

And yet, they only seem to have been dancing for a moment until one upbeat song bleeds into another song. This one is much slower, almost holding a murky quality in the sounds of the first verse.

_ Meet me by the water's edge, _

_ I’ll dance to your favourite song. _

_ And in the lights from passing cars, I’ll see you _

_ Sitting right in front of me, _

_ Eyes ablaze up by the sea, _

_ Saying something I can’t hear, but I need you. _

The two of them drift closer together as the words flow throughout the room, almost casting some sort of spell between them. Magnus’ hands interlock around Alec’s neck whilst Alec’s arms wrap around Magnus’ waist.

“You aren’t a bad dancer,” Magnus almost sounds accusatory, as if he’s caught Alec out in some giant lie. 

“Bopping on the spot doesn’t really count though,” Alec shoots a pointed look down at Magnus.

“You seem to be doing fine now,” Magnus beams. Alec almost freezes when he realises that he and Magnus have been moving slowly to the lilting beat of the song. They're sort of swaying together, but Magnus’ words throw Alec off immediately. He almost trips over his feet. He probably would've if not for Magnus’ grip on him.

“Two left feet,” Alec sighs, looking down dejectedly at the floor. He hears Magnus tutting but keeps his gaze locked on his shoes. Maybe if he  _ watches  _ his feet, he'll be less likely to trip.

“You were doing great before,” Magnus’ words sound sincere. Alec only brings his gaze back up to shoot a disbelieving look to his boyfriend. But Magnus’ expression teems with earnest affection. “Just hold on, and go with the flow of the music.”

Alec blushes but nods resolutely. He lets himself shut his eyes, moving with Magnus to the music as the steady drum beat of the song lulls him into movement.

_ Come close to me, _

_ I believe I can give you what you need, _

_ But you see, it might get _

_ Harder for you to breathe, _ _  
_

_ Harder for you to breathe. _

Alec leans forward, his forehead now resting against Magnus’, his eyes still shut. He tries to drown out any lingering thoughts, tries to just focus on the person he’s holding onto and the music swirling somehow within their shared space.

_ I won't conceal all the things I’m feeling, _ _  
_

_ You’re into me, _

_ But you see it might get _

_ Harder for you to breathe, _ _  
_

_ Harder for you to breathe. _

“You lied to me,” Magnus’ voice practically sings with amusement, forcing Alec’s eyes open. The merriment in Magnus’ smile makes Alec mirror one of his own. “You’re a great dancer.”

Meanwhile, Alec thinks the lyrics must be some sort of foreshadowing, because he’s struck breathless as he looks at Magnus Bane in front of him. Magnus, with his kind words and his skill in practically anything and his gorgeous face and his entire being. Alec thinks dizzily to himself that he himself can’t breathe. 

In the presence of someone like Magnus, how can he?

It dawns on Alec that they’re pressed right up against each other. Even though it’s a slow song, Alec realises that, out of all the slow-dancing couples, they’re by far the closest. All at once, Alec can feel the hard lines of Magnus’ body against his own, can feel the goosebumps that scatter across his neck as he feels Magnus’ breath against his face. That faint scent of sandalwood invades his nostrils and almost seems to blank out his other senses.

There’s some sort of palpable shift, and Alec can  _ feel  _ the electric spark between them. When he sees Magnus’ eyes darken a fraction, he knows that he feels it too.

Even though Magnus had been the one adamant that they dance, he’s the one practically dragging Alec off the dance floor a moment later. His grip on Alec’s hand is strong, almost electrifying in a sense.

Alec doesn’t really focus on where they’re going, only vaguely aware of Magnus guiding them, but a moment later, Alec finds himself in a bathroom. For a rec centre, the bathroom is opulent, large. Alec figures out pretty quickly that there’s no one else in here, but he can’t even begin to voice the thought before Magnus’ mouth crashes against his.

Responding immediately, Alec moans, the sound silenced by their desperate kisses as they both seamlessly move into one of the bathroom stalls. It’s pretty spacious for a stall, and a whole new wave of desire rockets through Alec when he hears the door click shut. 

“Alexander, you should wear suits all the time,” Magnus whispers as Alec bites his neck roughly. Alec grins wickedly, lips moving against Magnus’ neck.

“All the time?” Alec asks breathily, voice also down low. There’s something exhilarating about doing this in public, the fact that, if they aren’t discreet or quiet enough, they could get caught. The Alec Lightwood from a few months ago would’ve balked at the idea, but Magnus is like some kind of drug to him, and right now,  _ he needs Magnus. _

As if he can hear his thoughts, Magnus’ hands move to Alec’s belt. He efficiently undoes it as he mutters, with a conspiratorial wink, “Maybe not all the time.”

Magnus’ hands are dangerously close to where Alec needs them to be, and he can feel himself getting harder with every passing second. He keeps his lips on Magnus’ neck, and he bites hard into the skin there, releasing a quiet groan, when he feels Magnus quickly pull down his pants and stroke the bulge in his underwear.

_ “Fuck,”  _ Alec whispers, biting his lip to contain any louder or more obscene sounds when he sees Magnus crassly lick his hand before he yanks down Alec’s boxers and begins to stroke him. It’s rough, a touch too dry, and so intoxicating that Alec leans back, gripping the top of the stall divider above him in an attempt to anchor himself.

When Magnus swipes at the slit, tightening his grip slightly, Alec can’t stop the moan that escapes him. And Alec doesn’t miss the wicked smirk that crosses Magnus’ face as he registers the sound, seeming to echo endlessly in what Alec hopes is still an empty bathroom.

“Alexander, keep it down darling,” Magnus voice is velvet smooth, low and quiet, in such stark contrast to the rough and tantalising movements of his hands. But Alec notes the wild desire in those golden-brown eyes, and almost moans again just at the sight. “Wouldn’t want anyone figuring out what we’re doing, right?”

Alec just nods frantically, afraid that if he opens his mouth again, he’ll just cry out or something ridiculous like that. Desire seems to coil in his gut, causing him to grip the stall divider so hard until his knuckles turn white. He keeps digging his teeth into his bottom lip to keep himself from making anymore sounds, but it’s so fucking difficult when Magnus keeps steadily and expertly pumping his cock like it’s his only mission in life.

“Magnus,” Alec half-whispers, half-moans. Magnus’ gaze flicks up from his focus on Alec’s cock, eyes locking onto Alec’s face. The look of awe, lust and underlying love in Magnus’ eyes brings Alec even closer to the edge that he already seems to be rapidly heading towards.

“It’d be a shame to get such a lovely suit all dirty, right?” Magnus asks, almost innocently. As if Alec is in any mindset to respond with actual words.

Instead, Alec just utters,  _ “Magnus.”  _ It sounds like a plea, but for what exactly, Alec doesn’t know.

But Magnus seems to. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your outfit, Alexander,” Magnus winks, and in one swift moment, he stoops down with as much grace as a person can in such a cramped space, taking the head of Alec’s cock in his hot wet mouth whilst still pumping him.

Alec gasps, eyes widening as he attempts to keep his volume down, though to no real avail. The warm wet heat of Magnus’ mouth envelops him, and Alec feels overwhelmed with sensation. Looking down doesn’t help.

Magnus, down on the floor of a bathroom stall, still perfectly dressed in that  _ gorgeous suit _ , and blowing him in a public bathroom whilst pumping his cock in tandem.  _ How the fuck did Alec end up this lucky? _

_ “Shit, Magnus,” _ Alec whines, and he lets out another particularly loud groan when Magnus’ tongue swipes over his slit. He’s so close, he knows it. He needs to let Magnus know. “Magnus, I’m so…  _ ah _ .”

He can’t get the words out, but he knows that Magnus understands. His perfect lips are blown wide over Alec’s cock, and yet Alec gets the vague sense that he’s smirking up at him.

Alec can’t help it. He thrusts forward, hands flying from the top of the stall divider to Magnus’ hair. He winds his fingers in the inky strands, grabbing almost possessively, his mind absolutely blank except for this. Feeling Magnus somehow surrounding him, here in this small private bubble they’ve managed to create in this public bathroom.

Magnus makes some sort of sound that Alec thinks is affirmative, and by then, Alec forgets about decency and propriety and keeping the volume down. His voice is raw as he cries out, thrusting into the warm heat of Magnus’ mouth and clutching tightly to Magnus’ hair.

The heat builds within Alec, and before Alec can even tell, he’s falling over the edge.

As he groans loudly through his release, his grip only tightens, and he registers that Magnus manages to swallow up every last drop.

_ Fuck, that’s hot,  _ Alec thinks as he slowly comes down from the high he’s just experienced. He tucks himself back into his boxers after Magnus lets him go. Magnus just hums as he stands back up, glancing up and down Alec’s body as Alec does up his belt.

“Look, your outfit’s still clean,” Magnus whispers, sounding chuffed, but there’s a tension within his voice. Alec briefly wonders what that could be from, before he lets his gaze drop and he realises that, even though he’s just had the most amazing orgasm, Magnus is still hard in his pants. “I mean, you weren’t the most quiet towards the end, but I reckon that no -”

Without any warning, Alec surges forward, capturing Magnus’ mouth in a bruising kiss and effectively silencing him. Magnus immediately relents, eyes shutting as he reciprocates. His mouth opens, allowing Alec to lick filthily into his mouth. He can taste himself on Magnus’ tongue, and the feeling sends shivers down his spine.

Alec breaks away so he can lean forward, breath ghosting along Magnus’ cheek.  _ A few more minutes away from the fanfare won’t hurt,  _ Alec thinks.

The high that he’s still feeling is what emboldens him to whisper in Magnus’ ear, “My turn to return the favour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is come close by odette and I highly recommend you listen to her, she is litttt
> 
> I have a really tough exam in a few hours and I am freaking out, but at least at the end of the day, I can enjoy some Malec ahh
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3  
> PS. idk how weddings work so yeaahh


	21. Floating Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story Alec has written deserves to be in bookshops across the world. Of course, Magnus can’t say he is 100% unbiased, but with as objective of a perspective as he can muster, he still firmly believes that Alec has a gift with the written word. And it’s not just the incredible way he weaves and creates sentences and paragraphs that grip your attention, but it’s the wholehearted way he throws himself into conveying a story. You can tell, just by reading it, how much Alec loves his characters, how much of himself and his emotions he’s poured into it. And Magnus knows, without a doubt, that this is meant to be a real published book.
> 
> But the problem is, Alec doesn’t see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems a little scattered. It kinda reflects my state of mind rn and stress ain't a good look for me gang :/
> 
> Hopefully you guys enjoy the chapter anyways <3

In the early morning sunlight one crisp February morning, Magnus floats.

It's just him and Alec, lying side by side in bed, the only sounds filling the space being Alec’s deep breaths and occasional adorable snores. Magnus takes the quiet moment that the world offers him, allows himself a moment just to exist. To think. To float.

Being with Alexander is a dream, yet there's always a part of him that feels like one morning, some sobering reality will come knocking on the door and break them out of this all-encompassing spell. It seems too good to be true. Granted, there have been ups and downs, but every relationship has that. But over the past few months, that pesky questioning voice in his head has quieted, has held less and less sway over Magnus’ thoughts. 

It’s a Wednesday, meaning Alec has the chance to sleep in and doesn't need to go into work today. And thankfully, Magnus has been offered a reprieve this morning, with no meetings scheduled until the afternoon. They’re nearing the pointy end of everything, with the launch now in just under a month. It's become absolutely hectic for Magnus.

And yet, Magnus has never felt this content before. Maybe it comes from the surety of Alec’s love for him, from the firm warm comforting presence Alexander provides. It’s weird to think of the string of coincidences and unconventional things that led to them meeting, to them being together. A series of events that worked out somehow perfectly, in a way that led them here, to this moment.

The two of them, laying in bed together.

He isn’t the morning person out of the two of them, and usually wakes up later than Alec does both due to his hatred for the early morning and Alec’s work hours. But now, for a rare moment, Magnus observes Alec as he sleeps. Notices the cute way his brow scrunches up, as if in deep concentration within a dream, and his lips, slightly-parted as he huffs out a snore or two every few moments.

Magnus soaks in the moment, focuses extra hard to commit it to memory. He floats, higher and higher, a smile tugging at his lips as he notices Alec begin to stir.

After a moment, Alec blinks his eyes open, slowly adjusting to the sunlight streaming through the windows. He turns his head immediately, as if it’s some practiced motion, and Magnus doesn’t miss the evident surprise in his gaze when Alec sees that Magnus is awake.

“Magnus Bane, awake before me?” Alec’s voice is rough from sleep, a hint of laughter rumbling from his tone.

“Good morning to you too,” Magnus chuckles, pressing a quick peck to Alec’s cheek. Alec’s eyes flutter shut, the early morning sunlight illuminating a picture of pure beauty - Alec smiling and leaning into Magnus’ kiss.

“What time is it?” Alec asks, and in answer to his own question, he reaches out with his arm to grab his phone from the end table. He clicks it on, eyes squinting as they adjust to the stark brightness of the screen before he mumbles, “8:14am.”

Alec half-drops the phone back down before he turns so he’s fully facing Magnus now. His expression is so open, so touched, and it’s overwhelming to Magnus that he’s the target for such a loving look so early in the day.

“Could you not sleep?” Alec asks, voice still a little raw, his words laced with concern. Magnus just shakes his head, hoping to alleviate the tension in his voice.

“I slept fine. Just woke up early,” Magnus explains, a small smile settling on his face as he leans forward, closing the distance between them properly and kissing Alec’s mouth deeply. There’s nothing overt or demanding from this kiss. It’s warm and sweet and soft, an epitome of sunlit mornings and teasing lines and bubbly smiles that encase them within this moment.

When Alec pulls back, a slight blush colours his cheeks and his gaze flicks up to the ceiling. Biting his lip, he takes a moment, then another, before he sits up. He leans against the headboard, smirking a little before finally settling his gaze back onto Magnus.

“I finished it,” Alec finally whispers, as if it’s some sort of secret. In a way, it is a secret. Their shared one. It’s what allows Magnus to understand what Alec is saying, and in a flash, Magnus is sitting up too.

“Oh, I need to read it right now!” Magnus cheers excitedly. Alec’s gaze is fond, a bemused smirk playing on his lips as he seems to conjure his laptop from thin air.

After reading up what Alec had written for Christmas, Magnus had hounded Alec constantly that he needed to know how his story ended. Alec had promised that, when he had finished writing everything, he would let Magnus read the rest of it. Magnus had tried, over the past couple of months, to get some sort of tidbit out of Alec, but he hadn’t budged once.

“Why can’t you let me read as you go?” Magnus had asked once, equally annoyed and amused. Alec had just shrugged, and something about his expression had seemed a little distant, for a flicker of a moment.

But then Alec had just laughed as he had explained, “It’s disconcerting! Besides, wouldn’t you rather find out everything all at once instead of hanging onto every sentence for ages?”

Magnus hadn’t pushed it then, and he’s thankful for that very fact now, for the first time. As he excitedly, maybe even a little greedily, reaches out for Alec’s laptop, like a child reaching out for candy, he can’t help the excitement that builds within him.

“Stay?” Magnus asks, one simple word. He doesn’t even lift his gaze from the laptop screen, just senses Alec’s affirmation in the way the bed shifts beneath him as Alec moves so that they’re leaning against each other against the headboard. 

They spend the whole morning like this, Magnus reading and sometimes making Alec read it aloud, the two of them slipping into the comfort of each other’s presence with practiced ease. They shift positions throughout the morning on the large bed, having short intermissions interspersed with kisses and feather-light giggles as they both soak in the pleasure of this morning.

Magnus floats, higher.

By the time they reach the end, Magnus stomach is rumbling loudly. Yet he can’t help the contented sigh that escapes him as he reads out the last word.

“Alexander,” Magnus sighs, beaming up at Alec, lying across from him. “That’s the purest ending in the world.”

Alec just shrugs, a soft smile on his face. “They deserve it,” Alec explains. Magnus knows what Alec is really saying with those words. Magnus remembers the car drive, Alec’s resolution when he had been speaking about this story.

_ It’s our story. _

The characters, fictional, deserve that ending. But it’s more than that, Magnus knows it. Magnus can see it, crystal clear, that Alec firmly believes that they’ll reach that happy ending. Maybe, in a way, they already have. The determination in that alone has Magnus reeling.

“You’re an incredible writer,” Magnus says, not for the first time. And, just like every time he’s said it, Alec’s expression shifts, his mouth opening in what Magnus already assumes is a counter-argument.

He’s a little sad when this prediction comes true.

“I’m honestly not that good,” Alec immediately responds. Almost as if it’s second-nature to tear himself down. The sadness Magnus feels at the statement seems to shift their entire pocket of sunlit domesticity and sweetness into something different, something just a tad off-kilter. It melts the grin off his face in an instant.

Magnus isn’t an idiot. He knows that Alec holds himself to a standard so ridiculously high and unachievable, as if he’s setting himself up for self reprimand. Magnus has seen this over the months they’ve been together. From Alec’s lack-of confidence in his abilities, to how he always puts himself in comparison to his siblings, to the way he elevates Magnus far above himself.

_ Alec is forgiving to everyone,  _ Magnus thinks, a little grimly.  _ Everyone except himself. _

“How many times have I told you that’s not true?” Magnus doesn’t know what this question covers. Because honestly, Alec’s statement is just as broad.  _ Not that good at what, _ Magnus can’t help but wonder. Magnus would fight every battle he ever could to show Alec that he is good. That he is good enough.

It’s been the case since their first date, when Alec could only see himself as some inconsequential figure, a one-dimensional bookworm in comparison to his vibrant siblings and friends, and Magnus had immediately affirmed the opposite. Maybe it was the case even before that, when Magnus had first noticed an embarrassed blush from a tall, dark and handsome man. And it definitely has been the case ever since.

Alec has a good heart, and good work ethic. He thinks of others far before himself, and spends his time writing stories and living within books. Alec  _ radiates _ goodness. It’s obvious to everyone, to his siblings, to his friends, to Magnus.

Obvious to everyone except Alec.

Alec shakes his head, and sends a pointed look down to Magnus’ stomach as it makes another rumbling sound. “We never ate breakfast, come on,” Alec paints on a smile as he gets out of bed, pointedly ignoring Magnus’ question with the action. Magnus still feels a little off-centre as he wordlessly follows Alec out of the bed, and he stumbles a little on the way out of the bedroom.

Instead of following Alec to the kitchen, Magnus makes a quick detour to the bathroom. Finishing up in there, he changes into some casual clothing, and spends a moment looking at himself in the mirror. He’s not feeling energised or bothered enough to put makeup on right now, not when his meeting isn’t in a while. A small frown has settled onto his face, and unfortunately, deepens the lines on his face.

Magnus has always tried to uplift Alec when he tears himself down, and he knows he shouldn’t push. They’re Magnus and Alec. They don’t push. It’s just not what they do.

But Alec is amazing. Everyone can see it. But Magnus wants Alec to see it for himself.

He doesn't know why this resolve builds within him this random February morning, but it does, and with that thought, Magnus exits the bathroom, following the sound of stilted humming and whirring from the appliances within the kitchen.

Alec's back faces him as he tinkers around the kitchen. For a brief moment, Magnus forgets about everything else as he sees Alec, now fully dressed and expertly navigating Magnus’ kitchen as if it's his own. Alec's familiarity is reassuring, as if he himself is some immovable fixture that is a part of Magnus’ apartment.

Shaking his head and clearing his thoughts, Magnus clears his throat loudly enough for Alec to turn around. There's a bemused smirk playing on his lips, but something about it seems weary. Maybe Magnus is only imagining it, but the expression looks resigned. As if he can already tell Magnus’ line of thinking, is already concocting a plan to deflect Magnus’ sentiment and instead stuff whatever food he's preparing into Magnus’ mouth.

But no argument comes out of Alec's mouth. “French toast sound good?” he asks, gesturing down at what he's been preparing. Magnus just nods, swallowing tightly as he starts to make his way to the kitchen to help. But Alec shakes his head, chasing Magnus away from the kitchen with a wide swoop of one of his arms. “Don’t worry about it, Magnus. Just go sit down.”

Magnus sighs, nodding a little as he busies himself with instead grabbing plates and setting up the table for the two of them. The action is mindless enough that it allows Magnus to think as he goes.

The story Alec has written deserves to be in bookshops across the world. Of course, Magnus can’t say he is 100% unbiased, but with as objective of a perspective as he can muster, he still firmly believes that Alec has a gift with the written word. And it’s not just the incredible way he weaves and creates sentences and paragraphs that grip your attention, but it’s the wholehearted way he throws himself into conveying a story. You can tell, just by reading it, how much Alec loves his characters, how much of himself and his emotions he’s poured into it. And Magnus knows, without a doubt, that this is meant to be a real published book. 

But the problem is, Alec doesn’t see it. The last time Magnus had broached the topic, Alec had been firmly against it. He hasn’t even, to Magnus’ knowledge, shared his interest in writing to anyone except himself and Max. Maybe if other people had read it, and they could also tell Alec just how good it was, he’d be more inclined to believe it.

And yet, the bottom line to this whole thing is that Magnus wants Alec to publish this story for himself. He wants Alec to have the self assurance to handle the inevitable push-back and initial rejection, to have the confidence in himself that this story will succeed. And the only person who can make this change is Alec.

He wants to bring the topic up. The last time he had, the conversation had turned to what happened to Max. But now, with all that out in the open, Magnus really does want to bring up the idea of publishing the story again. Subtlety would need to be necessary, because Magnus doesn’t want the suggestion to be shot down immediately by Alec’s own doubts.

He doesn’t know why he feels so determined about this, but he does nonetheless. The last time he’d felt this sort of resolve was when he’d been faced with the prospect of a handsome nameless stranger. And considering how well acting on that resolve had turned out with Alec, Magnus can’t help but think that, surely, this determination within himself surely means something.

Magnus sits down in his seat when he’s done setting up, glancing up expectantly and eying Alec walking towards the table with two plates of french toast on each. He places the plates quickly down on the table, before rushing back to the kitchen to grab two mugs of coffee. His mouth quirks up in a half-smile as he places down the cups before seating himself down.

Alec doesn’t make a move to start eating, but instead keeps his hands in his lap as he looks at Magnus. His gaze flicks between the food and Magnus’ face, and Magnus gets the message. He grabs his utensils, cuts a piece of french toast, and pops it in his mouth. He nods his head as he chews thoughtfully.

“Alexander, this tastes incredible,” Magnus enthuses as he hastily continues to eat.

“It’s just french toast, sorry,” Alec responds, as if he didn’t just hear Magnus’ compliment. “I probably should’ve made something more substantial, but neither of us have eaten so... yeah, sorry.” Alec smiles a little sheepishly, before he finally starts to dig in himself.

Magnus swallows abruptly upon hearing those words, hearing Alec apologise,  _ apologise,  _ over making such delicious food in such a short space of time. It always seems like Alec is constantly apologising. He doesn’t know why, but hearing Alec speak like this snaps something inside of him.

Fuck subtlety.

“Publish it,” Magnus says, with absolutely no segue or preamble or bullshit like he’d been thinking to. He hasn’t even provided any real context. But he says it nonetheless, tracks Alec’s expression as he absorbs those two simple words.

An array of emotions pass across Alec’s face before it settles into something that looks equally bewildered and distressed as he finally swallows his first mouthful. “What?” he finally asks after a minute.

Magnus doesn’t like how he’s brought this up, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. “Alexander, I know you probably think this sounds biased. But honestly, that story  _ deserves  _ to be published. It’s so good, Alec,” Magnus’ voice comes out sounding pleading, somehow sounding too raw for a topic like this. But that’s the thing.

It’s not just about the book. It’s about Alec, and how he sees it. How he sees himself in light of writing it.

Alec shakes his head firmly. “Magnus, I already told you. It’s not good enough to get published. I’ve just done it for fun. To express my thoughts, my feelings,” Alec explains, expression turning more and more sour as he speaks. “It was never meant to be published.”

And Magnus wants so badly to argue. Why else would Alec put in a dedication at the start? How else would Alec have had the motivation to write this all the way to the end? Even if Alec can’t see it, Magnus can. A small part of Alec  _ wants this. _

It’s this thought that makes Magnus continue to push.

“Alexander, I know the thought is scary. Trying to publish a book is difficult business. But, surely a small part of you wants to give it a shot?” Magnus tilts his head, fixing an inquisitive expression on his face as he shifts in his seat properly face Alec better.

Alec hesitates, opening his mouth but allowing no words to come out. He sits there for a moment, gaze flickering around the dining room and kitchen area surrounding them and no longer settling on Magnus.

“The thought used to cross my mind,” Alec admits quietly. “But it’s ridiculous. You said it yourself. Publishing is a difficult business.”

Magnus rubs at his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired and weary. “Alec, just because it's difficult doesn't mean you can't try. I'm serious, Alexander. I'm positive that you would find success.”

“But you have to say that!” Alec shouts, volume soaring from seemingly out of nowhere. Magnus frowns. It seems like he's struck a nerve. “You're my boyfriend. You can't say that it's not good enough even if it's true.”

Magnus shakes his head, adamant to get this point across, irritation bubbling in his chest. “I could be a stranger and still say that this story has the potential to get published. Anyone could see it, Alexander!” Magnus’ voice rises a little at that. A small part of him doesn't like where this conversation is going, but a larger part of him wants to get this point across, to help Alex figure out what he really wants.

Alec slumps in his seat, almost as if he feels defeated, sapped of all energy. “No, Magnus. It's not good enough,” Alec’s gaze finally lands back on Magnus’ face, his expression so wounded that it hurts Magnus just to observe it. “I'm not good enough.”

And just like that, it's all out in the open. Magnus is out of his chair immediately, moving forward as he stands to wrap Alec up in his arms. “Alexander, please believe me when I say that's not true,” Magnus whispers quietly as he feels Alec return the hug, still seated in his chair. Magnus runs his fingers through the dark strands on Alec’s head, both as a method to settle his own nerves and to silently provide some sort of anchor for Alec. 

There's a definite shift in that moment, and the next words Magnus hears Alec say sound a little choked up. Despite that, Magnus doesn't feel so off-kilter now.

“I want to believe you,” Alec mutters quietly, so soft that Magnus almost feels like he can't hear him even though they're holding onto each other so tight right now. “I really do.” He takes a few shuddering breaths, his grip on Magnus so tight that it almost feels constricting. But Magnus doesn't care. He just squeezes Alec back with as much strength, thoughts running at a mile a minute in his head. A million memories seem to resurface at the beckon of their conversation, leaving Magnus speechless.

He thinks of Alec, always belittling himself, somehow always finding a way to chide himself over things that definitely don't require any level of self-deprecation.

_ You literally have no reason to apologise, this is just me being dumb and stupid _ .

He thinks of how Alec is always apologising, always bearing the brunt of the blame when it's not even necessary, even when it is Magnus who is at fault.

_ Magnus, if I’ve been pressuring you or something, or if you think we’re going too fast, I’m so sorry. _

He thinks of Alec, someone so exceptional in every aspect, and how he views himself to be so insignificant.

_ I'm just Alec. _

“Alexander, I'm sorry,” Magnus finally finds his ability to speak, although the words feel heavy leaving his mouth. The words are sincere, but are weighted with something that Magnus can't name. “I shouldn't have pushed the publishing thing, I-”

“Magnus, no. Don't,” Alec says, three simple words. With that, it seems that he manages to gain enough strength to push himself away from the embrace partially, enough that he can look up and fix his eyes on Magnus’ face whilst keeping his arms locked around Magnus’ middle.

“Alexander,” Magnus sighs, because for once, he seriously can't think of anything else to say. But he sees a multitude of emotions, a swirling storm, within those beautiful hazel eyes, and he figures that maybe the one word alone is enough for Alec.

“I want to reach a point where I believe you. Where I believe in myself,” Alec nods firmly to himself. “Maybe I always have, but I've never been able to. But… I think, with you by my side, it actually seems possible.”

The words touch Magnus deeply, and he smiles softly down at Alec, his fingers never ceasing to continue carding through Alec’s hair.

“At the end of the day, it's all you, Alexander,” Magnus whispers. And it seems like, in this moment, they've reached some sort of understanding. Alec nods, resolution building in his expression. His eyes are stormy, a little troubled still, but Magnus can see the newfound determination underlying everything.

“I want to think about it,” Alec finally exhales, and with that, it seems like a large weight has been lifted from his shoulders. His posture loses its tension, and he even smirks a little after he speaks. “I mean, I still don't know. But I’d like to think about it.”

Magnus considers that to be an even better answer than he ever thought he would get out of this conversation. It's rough and unsure and hesitant, but it's there. A glimmer of a chance.

Magnus places a short kiss on top of Alec’s head. “I love you,” he whispers quietly.

Alec’s smirk gives way to a small smile. “I love you too,” Alec sighs, and then they're tightly holding onto each other again.

It's not going to be black-and-white, and it's not always going to be easy, but if Alec even wants to try, Magnus will be there with him all the way. Not just try this whole publishing thing, but try to build his own self esteem in the face of the Magnus’ love for him.

And that's why, despite it all, Magnus feels like he floats just a little bit higher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a brighter note, GUYS I GOT TWITTER! It's super busy and I have a habit of staying on new social media too much, so I wasn't in a position to get it earlier, but I finally took the dive! Please guys, don't hesitate and come say hi at [@onalonaa](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) <3 <3 <3 (also forgive me that I'm such a twitter noob)
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3


	22. Taking Small Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The issue of self-esteem is always something that Alec has brushed-off over the years. When there are people suffering from far more concerning conditions, far more significant and deserving of attention, Alec never really thought that there was ever anything wrong with him. At the most, he’d consider himself self-critical.
> 
> And beyond the reproachful expression of a sibling or friend when he would let some self-deprecating comment escape, no one had ever really seemed to notice. That is, until Magnus Bane came along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic is legit just me rambling about how much I love Malec/Shumdario omg. Anyways, the Alec/Maia brotp is back and I couldn't be happier muahaha.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

_Alec’s chest feels heavy._

_There’s water surrounding him, stretching endlessly in every direction he faces. His movements are slow, warbled, as he tries to get his bearings._

_He should be drowning, but his lungs don’t burn. Instead, the pressure on his chest just seems to increase as he floats, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. There’s no sharp pain, just a dull encroaching pressure that makes him feel breathless. But he has breath, all the same. The entire thing seems so disconcerting, and this feeling of entrapment seems to underlie everything._

_Alec reaches out, maybe in an attempt to move to get out. But he tries to move upward, pushing slowly against the water that feels as heavy as honey, and yet it seems like he’s never going to break the surface. Fractured light litters his vision as he feels that ever-present pressure seeming to increase more, drawing the strength from his muscles and belying the tiredness that seems to seep from out of nowhere into his bones._

_His motions are feeble. It seems like he’s trapped in this place, unable to escape. Maybe, if he really tried to, he could figure something out. But an odd sense of complacency, or maybe futility, fills him, seeming to drag him further down into the water below. With this feeling, Alec’s eyes begin to flutter shut as his head lolls back._

_It’s easier this way. To just accept the way things are. It’s easy to let the weight of the water push him further down. Resistance seems futile, ridiculous, when the alternative seems less painful, even if that pressure on Alec’s chest seems to grow._

_Out of nowhere, someone else appears in his vision, snapping Alec’s eyes wide open. Alec notes bright eyes, shining like golden stars in the murky water, registers a caramel-coloured hand reaching out for him. Alec shakes his head slowly in an attempt to focus on whoever it is before him._

_It’s an angel. At least, that’s what Alec thinks. It’s Magnus, but there’s some otherworldly nature to him now, as if he seems to glow, the light spilling out from his soul into the water around them. Alec can’t tear his eyes away from the angelic picture before him. Magnus’ hair, makeup and clothing look perfect, and there’s a soft smile on his face as he reaches out to Alec._

_Without a moment of hesitation, Alec pushes his hand forward, despite the resistance the water presents. That complacency, or futility, or whatever it’s called, is replaced with a need to meet Magnus, his angel, halfway. And so, Alec manages to cross that short distance, with a strength that fills him up instantly, grabbing Magnus’ hand._

_When their hands interlock, Alec is overcome with a sensation of movement. The pressure, which had been weighing so heavily on Alec’s chest before, now seems to evaporate, replaced with a feeling of overwhelming strength, Magnus’ hand acting as some sort of anchor. And with that, Alec seems to break through the surface, for suddenly, the pressure of the water seems to disappear around them._

_Alec takes a rattling deep breath. There’s only solid ground beneath him now, no water, no murkiness, absolutely nothing left from where he was before._

_The only constant is Magnus, radiating light as he keeps his hand locked in Alec’s._

_Because with the strength that Magnus provides for him, Alec suddenly feels like he can do anything._

***

Alec gasps awake, jolting upright as he gets his bearings. Glancing around, he manages to deduce that he’s alone and he leans back against the headboard as he tries to recall the dream he just had. It had seemed so vivid, but now, as he slowly wakes up, the details of the dream seem to slip through his fingers, like traceless smoke.

He does remember Magnus had featured prominently in it. Not like that surprises Alec or anything. But he can’t remember much else.

 _This is what I get for going back to sleep,_ Alec thinks ruefully to himself as he slowly gets out of bed. He had been briefly awoken this morning with a kiss on the forehead from Magnus before he had gone off to a really early meeting. Considering it’s Monday, Alec doesn’t have to go to work, but instead of just getting up early like he usually does, he must’ve fallen back to sleep.

Quickly getting dressed, Alec makes his way to the kitchen as he recalls Magnus’ half-asleep expression this morning. The man hates early mornings, but considering his line launch is in just over two weeks, Alec can understand the last-minute push that everyone, Magnus included, is under. Still, Alec can’t help but worry. Magnus has been working non-stop recently, and it comes down to Alec’s gentle yet insistent reminders of the importance of sleep that brings Magnus to the bedroom.

Of course, sometimes Alec has to be a little more creative in his incentives to bring Magnus to the bedroom. But it always works out well for the both of them, and Alec really does reckon it helps Magnus sleep better afterwards.

And yet, despite all the pressure Magnus is under, he never forgets to check-in on Alec. It’s only been a few days since their discussion last Wednesday, but Magnus always makes a point of checking in. Alec honestly doesn’t know how he splits his focus so well, but he does.

Just seeing Magnus’ determination in helping Alec makes Alec want to try just as hard, because at the end of the day, the change in self-perspective isn’t going to come from Magnus. It’s all Alec, just as Magnus had said.

As Alec makes a quick cup of coffee and pops some bread in the toaster, he can’t stop the overwhelming gratitude that floods his heart at the thought of Magnus trying his best to help him. Alec knows he needs to try hard for his own sake, but a part of him likes to think that he’s doing this to reassure Magnus as well.

“Small steps, Alec,” Magnus had told him. “Change the way you talk or think about yourself, from something negative to something neutral, or even positive.”

Alec nods to himself now, just as he did back when Magnus had said those words to him, as he gets his toast and butters it. Quickly spreading some peanut butter on top, Alec takes his toast and his coffee and makes a split-second decision to enjoy his breakfast outside.

It’s officially spring now, but it’s still a chilly morning. Alec finds the bite of the chill in the air refreshing as he seats himself on one of the chairs on the balcony and begins to eat. It gives him a chance to reflect on everything, his only companions being the distant humdrum of Brooklyn and Chairman Meow, who seems to be napping quietly on the other side of the balcony.

If you had to ask Alec where this all came from, he would definitely say that, at least part of it, has always been intrinsically linked to his character. Ever since he was little, he’s always wanted to do his best in every area. Many teachers and educators from his time as a child would cite that Alec’s only problem was that he was his own worst critic. So, to some extent, this need to be better has always been a part of him.

Of course, the pressure from his parents as he grew up definitely exacerbated this. Being the eldest child meant that a lot of his parents’ hopes and dreams were placed on his shoulders from a young age. It’s the reason he did so much when he was growing up. Archery, mixed martial arts, music lessons, school band, the scholastic team at school. There was always an overwhelming pressure he faced, whether it be in sport or academics, that he bore the brunt of, so that his siblings didn’t have to deal with the same thing.

It had been made clear to Alec from when he was young that he would need to pursue a job that his parents approved of. A doctor, a lawyer, an engineer. Something along those lines. His parents made it very clear from the offset that creative careers like being an artist, or a writer, were ridiculous and definitely out of the picture in relation to the Lightwood children.

The irony, looking back on it now, is startling.

And it had been made clear to Alec from the start that he couldn’t stray from what his parents wanted. If he didn’t achieve a high enough mark, or didn’t play that piece well enough, it would quickly be made abundantly clear to Alec. It had been drilled into him that he wasn’t good enough from the start. Whilst Alec had thought he had brushed this all off when he’d been kicked out, further reflection of his thoughts and behaviour over the years, encouraged by Magnus, had made it clear that this wasn’t the case.

Figuring out he was gay didn’t make this any easier. Every time one of his parents would make a passing homophobic comment at the dinner table, it seemed to hammer it home even further that Alec wasn’t good enough. A part of him can’t help but wonder if he ever would’ve had the strength to come out to them if it hadn’t been for Max’s death inspiring him to.

But if he hadn’t come out, he never would’ve felt at peace with his sexuality, and he never could’ve been with Magnus. The thought alone, of not being with such an incredible supportive person, leaves Alec reeling, pausing to take a breath at the shock of the idea. The concept is almost revolting, in a sense. Alec belongs with Magnus, and it's a fact that is as obvious and objective to Alec as the fact that the sun will rise every morning.

The issue of self-esteem is always something that Alec has brushed-off over the years. When there are people suffering from far more concerning conditions, far more significant and deserving of attention, Alec never really thought that there was ever anything wrong with him. At the most, he’d consider himself self-critical.

And beyond the reproachful expression of a sibling or friend when he would let some self-deprecating comment escape, no one had ever really seemed to notice. That is, until Magnus Bane came along.

Now that Alec reflects on their interactions from the beginning of their relationship to now, it seems that Magnus had been able to figure him out from practically the day they met. Surely this, combined with Magnus’ own beliefs and past, is what has equipped him to always have a compliment or any sort of praise ready just when Alec needs it.

And ever since Wednesday, Magnus is somehow even more reassuring than before, validating that Alec's self-esteem is important and working through his concerns with him. Any other person would find this repetitive, tedious and unnecessary, but Magnus is just so loving and supportive. It's what gives Alec the strength to follow his words of advice, to try and be just a little more forgiving to himself. Honestly, Alec doesn't know how he ended up so lucky as to have met someone as beautiful as Magnus, both inside and out.

 _Small steps._ It's good advice from Magnus. Finishing off his piece of toast, Alec sighs as he gulps down the rest of his coffee and stands up. Stretching his arms up and yawning quietly, Alec slowly walks up until he’s at the railing of the balcony.

Looking out over the city, the light of the late-morning sun seems to breathe life into every vestige of the view Alec gets up here. The view here is far better than the view from the shabby balcony Alec has at his apartment. Here, it's as if the world is full of possibilities, as Alec seems to float high above everything else. There's a quiet strength to that, and it fills Alec with determination as a new goal seems to formulate within his mind.

Before he registers it, Alec is back inside, and after getting ready for the day, he grabs his laptop and other essentials before making a beeline for the door. He walks, following the familiar route to get to the subway station, his feet mindlessly taking him to the right platform to get to Williamsburg.

_Small steps, Alec. Small steps._

When he gets to Williamsburg, Alec walks as if it's any other day and he's on his way to work. The sun is higher up than usual, and there are more people on the streets now than during the early morning. It's easy for Alec to find his way back to Elderwood, and he takes in a deep breath when he enters the store.

Maia is currently processing the purchase of an elderly woman, a small friendly smile fixed on her face. She quickly and efficiently puts the books in a small bag before waving the elderly woman goodbye. This is when she finally notices Alec in the store.

“Hey Alec,” Maia salutes, her trademark teasing smirk on her face. Alec shakes his head as he approaches the counter, before chucking a playful salute in response.

“Hi Maia,” Alec quietly makes his way behind the counter until they’re standing side-by-side. Maia just levels him with a suspicious look.

“Is this some boss evaluation thing or something that I was unaware of?” Maia asks, teasingly squinting up at Alec. Alec just shakes his head, avoiding her gaze as he looks around the store.

Considering it’s the middle of the day on a Monday, Alec isn’t surprised that there isn’t anyone else in the store, now that the elderly woman has left.

“Is that your laptop? Why’d you bring that?” Maia asks, observant as ever, and cutting right to the chase.

“There _is_ a boss evaluation thing today,” Alec chuckles, and Maia barks out a laugh as Alec brings up the laptop to rest on the counter in front of the two of them. But after Maia calms down, she gazes at Alec intently, seeming to intrinsically know that this is about something else.

“Seriously, Alec, what’s up?” Maia asks, and now her brow is furrowed in concern. Alec doesn’t want Maia to worry at all, and he hastily opens up his laptop as he opens his mouth to try and explain.

Over the last few days, Magnus advised Alec to try and share the story with someone he felt comfortable with, if he wanted to. Alec had agreed, citing that he thought this would be a nice first step. Of course, Alec’s mind had immediately gone to Izzy, but then he couldn’t help but worry that if he shared this with anyone in his inner circle, he’d feel bogged down with doubts and worries that they were being too nice on him. He still finds it hard to fully believe Magnus’ praise, and Alec knows he’d get stuck in his own head if he tried to show it to his family first.

Then Magnus had suggested Maia, and honestly, it’s probably the best option Alec has. Alec really doesn’t have many friends beyond Jace, Izzy, Clary and Simon, and Magnus, of course. Maia and Alec have grown pretty close as colleagues over the past few months, and Alec hates being referenced as her boss even though it’s technically true - he much rather prefers that they call each other equals, since they’re always discussing how to make the business more successful and sharing different ideas and opinions together. They’re close enough as friends where Alec feels comfortable to share, but Alec also knows that Maia is stubborn and will be the more objective opinion Alec needs to hear. Beyond that, Maia herself is an avid reader, and she’s tough and honest in how she speaks. It’s refreshing, and a little scary, but Alec feels that if Maia likes the story, he’ll feel a lot more confident.

But, of course, Alec knows he can’t let Maia’s words alone validate the story. He tries reading it now, as often as he can and editing along the way, and he tries to reinforce any self-praise he has. It feels weird, and a little egotistical, but Magnus had pointed out that there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. So, at the end of the day, as Magnus had said, it all comes down to Alec himself.

That means, even if Maia practically chucks his laptop into a fire from reading this, Alec won’t feel the immediate need to bury himself in a hole and die. That’s always a positive.

“Uh,” Alec tries to fill the silence as he opens up the document, realising that he’s spent the last minute just thinking and not answering Maia’s question. It’s a little weird and hard to ask this of someone, and it had been easier sharing with Magnus for two reasons. One was because he had written out everything he had wanted to in a card that had taken hours for him to write. And two was because Alec had never actually been there to observe Magnus’ initial reaction.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favour?” Alec prefaces, voice lifting at the end in uncertainty. By now, Maia’s gaze has moved to track the laptop screen, and she only flicks her gaze back up when silence follows Alec’s words.

“Yeah, no worries. What’s up?” Maia shrugs, attention easily captured by the document that loads on Alec’s screen. Alec has to fight the defensive urge within him to shut the laptop and run away.

 _Small steps, Alec._ It’s almost like he can hear Magnus’ calming words right now, as if Magnus is right next to him.

“Ah, well,” Alec scratches the back of his neck in an attempt to push himself to say something. “This sounds kind-of embarrassing, but I -” Alec cuts himself off, shaking his head before continuing. “Well, actually no, it’s not embarrassing. It’s just, well -”

“Wait, is this a novel?” Maia seems to have totally jumped the gun, already seeming to read the first page of the document. Considering the question, she’s probably already read the first few lines.

Alec just gulps.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s really rough, needs to go through a lot of editing, but I -”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’ve written _all this?_ ” Maia emphasises the question by scrolling through the document. Only now does it register in Alec’s mind how long it is, reflecting how much time he’s spent on this. Maia sounds gobsmacked, an emotion one does not often associate with Maia Roberts, and that encouraging thought alone pushes Alec to speak.

“I finished it very recently, and I’ve been working on it for a while. I’ve only showed it to Magnus so far, but I was wondering if I could have a second opinion?” Alec asks. Maia faces him then, an expression of intrigue painted across her wide-eyed expression.

“Yes of course! Fuck, that’s so cool,” Maia commends as she turns to look back at the screen. But she’s only through the first page before the bell rings and a small family enters the store.

Alec and Maia seem to remember where they are in the moment, and Alec quickly swipes the laptop and shuts it.

“Can I email it to you? Just, whenever you’re free, you can read it if you want,” Alec babbles quietly as the two of them note the three customers walking together. Two parents and a younger looking boy, who’s surely no older than 10. The boy’s eyes seem to light up at every novel surrounding him, and he seems to keep straying from his parents every few moments. Alec has to admit, it’s not very often that someone this young ends up in Elderwood. The sight is quite refreshing.

“Yeah, of course. Don’t forget,” Maia whispers in response, before her entire tone shifts into her retail voice, loud enough for the family to hear. “Hi, how can I help you?”

It strikes Alec that he’s not supposed to be here, but he shrugs to himself and mutters about how he may as well stay and help out for a bit as the two adults turn to face the counter.

The two parents immediately come up to the counter and start talking to Maia, but Alec honestly zones them out as he focuses on the boy, who seems to be in his own little world as he explores the shelves. The closer he comes to the counter, the more Alec can’t help but think that the boy looks a lot like Max. Young, a little scrawny, with giant glasses and a keen eye for books.

“Glad to see such a young kid already so interested in reading,” Maia’s words seem to reach Alec, and it clicks in Alec’s head that the parents came here because the boy wanted a book, not them.

 _Dragging his parents into a bookstore in the middle of the day? Sounds like something Max would do,_ Alec can’t help the thought, and it brings a small sad smile to his face as he observes the boy. He’s now clutching a book in his hand, gaze determined as he strides up to the counter. Alec can’t tell what book exactly, but it becomes pretty obvious when the boy practically slams the book onto the counter in front of the four adults.

 _Legato by Dorothea Rollins_ is emblazoned on the front.

Alec’s eyes widen to the size of saucers when he figures out that the boy wants to buy this book. The book that seemed to start it all. That had been months ago, and yet somehow, it feels like just yesterday when Maia had cited a certain glittery man had left a book recommendation for him.

“This book’s pretty heavy,” Maia steamrolls ahead, though the thoughtful expression she now has tells Alec that she clearly is reflecting on that day as well. “You sure that’ll be ok with you?”

The boy just nods resolutely, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“He’s read almost everything at this point,” the mother explains. _Again, so much like Max._ “So we’ll just be taking this then.”

“No worries,” Maia smiles as she takes the book to process the purchase. Alec just tracks the entire action with wide eyes.

“Have you read it?” the boy asks hesitantly, looking up at Maia. Maia shakes her head as she puts the book in a bag.

“Nope, but my boss has,” Maia teases, shoving Alec’s side as she places the bagged book on top of the counter. Alec just sheepishly smiles as Maia accepts the payment of the book, but he only notices from his peripheral since his gaze is now fixed on the bespeckled boy’s face.

“What did you think?” the boy asks as he grabs the bag from the counter, keen interest apparent on his face.

Alec just nods thoughtfully. “It’s a really good book. Really interesting, I’m sure you’ll love it.”

The boy pouts, frowning a little. “I need more detail than that,” he whines a little, dragging out the syllables of the words.

So Alec just leans down, so that he’s closer to the boy’s eye level across the counter, and after thinking about it for a moment, mock whispers, “This book is how I met the love of my life, actually.”

The boy’s eyes widen in amazement. “Woah really? That’s so cool! Wow, what did you think of -”

“Come on, kiddo, we don’t want to keep these guys busy,” the father interrupts just as the bell chimes, signalling more people entering the bookstore. The two parents turn back to face Maia and Alec, wearing equally warm smiles. “Thanks so much,” they both say as they manage to usher their kid along with them until they’re out the door. Both of them wave as the little family leaves, and that teasing grin settles back on Maia’s face when the family is out of earshot once they’ve left the premises.

“You’re _such a fucking sap,”_ Maia jokes, and Alec just blushes in response. Maia laughs for a solid minute, and once she finally calms down, there’s a small genuine smile on her face. “You know, I like to consider myself the middle woman of this entire thing, with your first meeting. Malec is just some-”

Alec thinks he must be hearing wrong, and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You know, the middle woman. Like, the day with the book recommendation and all that. I like to think I was -”

“No, after that. What did you say?”

“Malec? You know, Magnus and Alec combined.”

Alec gasps out a laugh at that. “Oh no, you’re one of those people that use those combined names _for real relationships._ Maia Roberts, I never would’ve thought -” Alec breaks out into another laugh, slapping the counter and probably scaring away those customers at the other side of the store. Maia tries to level him with an irritated look, before the anger in her expression cracks and she herself begins to chuckle. Pretty soon after, they’re both just laughing like crazy people at the counter.

The sight of an unamused middle-aged man across the store is the only thing that gets them to shut up.

***

“Someone bought _Legato_ today,” Alec explains as he lies on Magnus’ lap, looking up at his boyfriend. Somehow, even from the terrible angle, Magnus manages to look good. Magnus’ gaze is fixed on his fingers as they run through Alec’s hair slowly, and Alec’s observation causes Magnus to smile in response.

“Well, I’m surprised someone didn’t snatch it up sooner,” Magnus jokes, and two of them chuckle quietly at that, but there’s a weight to his words that has Alec believing that surely Magnus must be reliving that fateful day in his mind too.

The silence that cocoons them makes Alec feel all warm and fuzzy inside, the only sensation breaking through being Magnus’ light touch as his fingers thread through his hair and lightly scratch his scalp. It’s so quiet and calm and peaceful, and Alec doesn’t know how he survived so long before without it. The two of them are on Magnus’ couch in the living room, soaking up the warmth from the nearby heater and just enjoying each other’s presence.

Magnus’ fingers stop moving as he asks, “How did you know someone bought it if you weren’t working today?” The question is brimming with curiosity, and Alec rubs his eyes slowly.

And so he explains his day. How he had gone to Elderwood, how he had shown the story to Maia, how he had decided to stay to help out for a bit. He recalls the bespeckled boy and how similar he was to Max, and he reflects on Maia’s enthusiasm at the prospect of reading his stuff. He had emailed her the document as soon as he had gotten to Magnus’ place.

Magnus looks so damn proud that it makes Alec’s heart lift just at the sight. “I’m so proud of you for sharing it with someone. And you should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out of your comfort zone,” Magnus compliments when Alec has finished explaining.

And Alec nods to himself, finding it easy to say, “Yeah. I am proud.”

Magnus beams down at Alec then, and he leans over whilst Alec tilts his head up so that they meet halfway in a soft kiss. It melts all the residual tiredness and nervous energy within Alec, leaving him only desperately craving just another kiss. It’s uncomfortable to keep his neck craned up like this, but Alec honestly doesn’t mind when he gets to kiss Magnus in return.

A loud buzzing shocks the two of them apart, and Alec groans when he realises it’s his phone going off. Rolling his eyes, he begins to grab the phone from the coffee table after sitting up and mumbling, “If it’s Jace, I’m going to be so -”

But he stops when he realises that it’s Maia calling him. Wordlessly, he just taps answer, mouthing _Maia_ to Magnus as the call connects.

“Hey Maia, what’s u-”

“Alec! This is so fucking good, what the fuck?” the words are so loud, shouted in such a way that Alec has to provide some distance between his ear and the phone. Judging by Magnus’ equally smug and proud expression, it seems like Maia is loud enough for Magnus to hear even without the speaker.

“Maia, I-”

“Ok, honestly Alec, this is so good! I’ve been binge-reading it since I got home from work,” Maia rambles. “I’m serious, it’s really interesting and really well written. Where did you learn to write like that?”

Alec just shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ve just kind-of always written like that.”

Maia whistles. “Man, if I had even half the natural talent, I’d be publishing books left and right. You are going to put this forward to a publisher, right?”

Alec sighs, expression pensive. He keeps his gaze locked on Magnus’ face as he says, “I’m thinking about it.” The soft smile on Magnus’ face matches Maia’s affirmative response so well, it’s almost uncanny.

“You’re such a fucking sap though! Like, were you even trying to be subtle with all these descriptions? ‘Golden eyes that shine, radiant sunlight somehow contained in those two orbs?’ Mr Glitter has you _so whipped,”_ Maia practically cackles loudly. Alec just blushes as he notes the mirth dancing in those golden eyes now in front of him, and Magnus leans forward so he’s closer to the phone.

“Hi Maia,” Magnus says, plainly and simply.

“Hey Magnus,” Maia laughs, apparently unashamed in her teasing. Alec just rolls his eyes. “Man, Alec is _so_ in love with you. Like fuck, if this story was any cheesier, my lactose-intolerance would start acting up.”

The comment startles a laugh out of both of them, but there’s an unrestrained joy in Magnus’ smile that steals Alec’s breath from his lungs.

“Well, that works out, because I’m so in love with Alexander,” Magnus replies after a moment. His gaze is unwavering, focused solely on Alec. It pins Alec to the spot on the couch, unblinkingly returning his intense gaze.

A multitude of emotions swirl within Alec in this moment. He feels so happy to hear Maia’s enthusiasm at the story. It’s a small step, but it makes him feel so much better. There’s a nostalgia within him, set alight by _Legato_ being purchased today. And then there’s Magnus, supportive, sweet, amazing Magnus. He seems to have the answers for everything. He always seems to know what Alec wants, what he needs, even before Alec himself is aware of it.

But he doesn’t say any of this, just smiles gratefully at his boyfriend. He notes the awe in Magnus’ expression, sees the nostalgic glint in his eye, and it seems like the months that they’ve been together feel like a split second and a small eternity all at once.

“Wait, are you guys kissing now? Shit, you probably are. My God, I’m just going to go and continue reading this. Bye!” Maia hangs up before Magnus and Alec even have a chance to say anything. Alec just shrugs before placing the phone back on the coffee table, chuckling quietly to himself before leaning back down fully into the couch. He looks across at Magnus, those golden-brown eyes glowing with admiration and happiness as he looks back at Alec.

“See? Small steps,” Magnus smiles triumphantly. Alec tilts his head to the side as he thinks that Magnus is almost _too_ good at this.

“How do you know all this advice?” Alec asks, the words fumbling their way out of his mouth. Magnus smile softens into something that looks a little sad, and he reaches out one arm to stroke Alec’s cheek.

“I have a history of not having the best self-esteem myself, Alexander,” Magnus explains. “Believe it or not, I used to think a lot like how you do now. So I guess I’m just telling you what I’ve learnt over the years.”

Alec tilts his head to kiss Magnus’ palm before he wordlessly moves forward and envelops Magnus in the tightest hug. They both sink into the embrace, gripping onto each other almost for dear life.

“I’m proud of you too, then,” Alec whispers. “And thank you for everything, Magnus.”

“No need to thank me, Alexander,” Magnus responds. Alec can’t help but think how wrong Magnus is, but instead of arguing, just holds on even tighter.

If only Magnus Bane knew the extent to which he’s changed Alec’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on twitter if you want! - [@onalonaa](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) <3
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3  
> PS. This past week though guys, the goodbyes from the cast have me dead omg (also THAT shumdario vid attacked me wtf I love them so much)


	23. What We Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus wonders if he’ll ever get used to it. The surety, the wholehearted nature of Alec’s love for him. The support, seemingly endless and undeserved, and yet, somehow always there. What amazing thing did he do in a past life to deserve Alexander now?
> 
> Honestly, it still boggles his mind.
> 
> But he doesn’t really know how to express this all. So, instead, he just says, “Maybe we both make things better for each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams whooped my ass recently so I wasn't able to get a chapter out last week. Sorry about that!
> 
> Please enjoy the fluff (and smut at the end) in this chapter to compensate :D

“You’re stressed.”

Magnus has to bite back a comment along the lines of “thanks for noticing, captain obvious,” and instead just rubs his eyes a little ruefully. He opts instead for something he hopes is a little less harsh. “That sort of happens when you   have a fashion line launch in just over a week,” Magnus sighs. After a beat, he adds “honey” to the end in some attempt to sound less rude.

He hears a sound that’s a half-groan, half-sigh, and finally turns his head away from his planner to look up at the doorway to the library. Alec stands there, shoulders hunched over with a small frown on his face.

Magnus blinks. His vision goes out-of focus for a moment, head lolling around slightly, and by the time his gaze has refocused, Alec is kneeling in front of him, looking up at him in concern.

“Magnus, it’s 4am,” Alec mutters quietly, stifling a yawn himself.

“Then why are you still up?” Magnus asks, and he hopes his tone isn’t as harsh as it seems. He doesn’t mean to sound rude, he just feels so drained, so tired. Alec, for what it’s worth, just smirks a little, the creases of his brow fading away a little.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” Alec retorts, laughing a little. The sound is refreshing, light, in the stifling library where Magnus has been cooped up all day. It makes a wave of guilt rush over Magnus.

“Alexander, you should sleep,” Magnus whispers, voice softer now. At least, he hopes so. Alec just shakes his head.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Alec explains. “It happens.” When Magnus levels him with a pensive look, Alec just shrugs. “And honestly? I’m worried about you. You can’t keep pulling these all-nighters, Magnus. It’s not healthy.”

“They’re not technically all-nighters!” Magnus immediately responds, voice rising a little. Alec winces at the volume, and Magnus meekly curls in on himself in his chair as he continues. “Look, I’m just… pressed for time, Alec. But you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m your boyfriend,” Alec replies, the certainty and sincerity somehow obvious despite the underlying tiredness in his tone. “It’s my job to worry about you. You’ve been working insanely hard on this, even before we met. Everything is going to be alright.”

Magnus allows the words to sink in a little, and suddenly is struck with the thought that he finds it extremely disconcerting to think of a life pre-Alec. He lived 29 years before being blessed by knowing of Alec’s existence, 29 years filled with highs and lows and everything in-between. And yet, with all the experiences he had in his life before that fateful day he caught Alec’s eye just outside Elderwood, it seems like those memories of his life before are washed-out. And after meeting Alec, it’s as if new life has been breathed into his existence. What was once a dull muted existence flickered to life with the vibrancy of new emotions and experiences that Magnus has experienced  _ because of Alec alone. _

“I love you,” it slips out of Magnus’ mouth as he muses. It sounds hushed, tired, but the sentiment is as true as it was the first time he said it. Maybe he means it more now. It’s impossible to reach a limit of his love for Alec. It grows everyday, changes as he learns a new tidbit, sees Alec grow into himself more.

Alec just smiles gratefully up at him, reaching up to cup Magnus’ cheek. “I love you too,” he replies before leaning forward and kissing Magnus chastely on the lips. When they pull apart, there’s still concern on his face, but it looks softer now. “And I am serious. You’ve worked so hard for this, Magnus. I don’t know how the fashion industry works, but I do know that your hard work will pay off.”

Magnus nods, but he really can’t bring himself to fully believe the words. Of course, he’s poured so much effort and work into this endeavour, has dreamed about it for so long. He knows it’ll all be worth it when he stands up on that stage at the end of the show, when he feels the spotlight shine on him, as if the clouds have parted to shine light on him. To shine on this moment, a culmination of love and spite and hope and dreams and defiance and everything that he’s been thinking of lately.

But Alec is right. The fashion industry is tricky. It hides behind a facade of glitz and glamour, but there’s so much effort and toil behind everything. Recently, in the last couple of weeks, it’s really taken a toll. Work has slowly but surely been creeping more and more into his personal life. He hates it, but he loves the work, and he knows it’s all going to be worth it in the end.

Magnus can’t help the stress. Recently, whenever he’s not working, he can’t help but feel guilty. It pushes him to stay up later than he really should, makes him down cups of coffee in an attempt to stay awake and coherent. If he tries to sleep before the inevitable collapse from exhaustion in the early hours of the morning, he won’t be able to. He’ll just lie in bed and feel more stressed, or more guilty. Magnus doesn’t know when it really sunk in and the switch flipped, but all he knows is that, at least for the past week, he’s been going to sleep usually around the 5am mark.

And of course he’s human, and he’ll hit points where he’s so tired of working that he’ll procrastinate instead, even when he’s reasoning in the back of his head that he should be working. It’s what causes more guilt to build up, and hence, the 5am bedtimes.

Even at the start of March, Alec would usually be able to convince Magnus to come to bed at a decent hour. Either with a soft concerned kiss to the cheek, or a searing mind-numbing kiss on the mouth. But now, no matter what, Alec can’t convince Magnus to stop.

But Alec hasn’t been rude or irritated about it. On the contrary, he’s been so supportive that he seems unreal to Magnus at points. Alec’s the one who’ll bring food on a plate into the library when Magnus refuses to leave. Alec’s the one to remind Magnus to take a walk out. Alec’s the one who’ll surprise Magnus with those delicious frappes from Taki’s Coffee Joint when he needs the pick-me-up.

“You’re unreal,” once again, the words sort-of slip out of Magnus’ mouth without him meaning to. It must be the sleep deprivation.

Alec’s face scrunches up, and the sight is so adorable that it steals the breath from Magnus’ lungs. “I hope you mean that in a good way?” he asks, as if Alec could ever question that Magnus’ words are anything but positive.

“The best way,” Magnus shoots a sleepy smile down at his boyfriend, and he realises that Alec’s still kneeling in front of the chair he sits in. Slowly, Magnus brings his hands to lightly grab Alec’s forearms, pulling them up as he brings them both to a standing position. He locks his arms around Alec’s middle, half-collapsing into Alec’s solid form as he rests his head against his chest. He can feel as well as hear Alec’s heartbeat, strong and steady and reassuring to Magnus. He closes his eyes for a moment, soaking in the moment as Alec’s arms wrap around him in response.

For just a moment, everything else slips away. All that matters is Alec, holding onto him tightly and cocooning him from the stresses and problems of everyday life.

Magnus feels Alec press a soft kiss to his hair, and he feels a little self-conscious (considering the shocking state of his hair right now) before relaxing further into Alec’s embrace. That’s just another great thing about Alec. Magnus could probably turn up in a trash-bag, with no makeup and messy hair, and Alec would still say he looked good.

The mental image has Magnus smiling into Alec’s chest.

“I’m so proud of you,” Magnus feels a rush of happiness shoot through him at Alec’s words. They anchor Magnus, stopping him from seemingly slipping into sleep right here, standing. “I really am. You’re working so hard for your dream. And it’s going to be epic, at the end.”

“It will be,” Magnus sighs contently, finally opening his eyes. He moves back a little to look up at Alec properly.

Alec’s eyes are hooded in sleepiness, but there’s a genuine smile on his face that has the guilt washing over Magnus again. “I think you’re too tired to continue being productive. Wouldn’t it be better if you got more sleep so you could be more productive tomorrow?” Alec asks, breath fanning Magnus’ face with his quiet words. 

For the first time in a week, Magnus actually listens to the words and properly considers them. Objectively, Alec is right. Even if Magnus does stay up further, he already knows he won’t be doing anything productive. He can barely focus at this point.

But at the same time, Magnus still feels like, despite the exhaustion, he won’t be able to sleep.

“You have a point,” Magnus begins. But before he can add his “but,” Alec’s mouth quirks up in the tiniest of smiles.

“But you won’t be able to sleep anyway,” Alec finishes for him. His brow is furrowed again, as if in deep thought, before his eyes widen and his hazel eyes light up. “Wait, I’ve got an idea.” He extricates himself from their embrace, shooting a regretful look back in Magnus’ direction, before he ushers Magnus to sit back down. Reassuring Magnus that he’ll be right back, Alec quickly whizzes out of the library.

“Don’t do work!” Alec shouts from down the hallway in what seems like an afterthought. Magnus just shrugs to himself, and instead busies himself with packing up his stuff. It’s a testament to how tired he is when he looks down at his writing and can’t get his eyes to focus on the words. They seem to blur before him, melding into black blurry blobs that are definitely illegible to Magnus in his current state. Groaning inwardly a little, he puts away the rest of his things as he hears Alec’s footsteps come back.

The sight Magnus is greeted with at the doorway makes him feel so touched, it almost brings tears to his eyes.

Alec’s juggling a mug of what looks like tea with a giant blanket in his hands as well as a book, an intense expression of focus plastered on his face as he enters the library. He somehow manages to gesture to Magnus to get up from the chair, instead directing him with hushed words to sit on the small couch in the room. Honestly, the couch doesn’t match the library at all, but it’s comfy as hell and is usually the best place to just curl up and read. 

Magnus practically sinks into the couch when he sits down, and Alec immediately hands over the hot cup of tea to Magnus’ waiting fingers before fully brandishing the blanket. He settles down next to Magnus, and despite the extra space of the couch, Alec presses right up close to Magnus as he pulls the blanket over the both of them. It’s that cocooned feeling from before suddenly amplified, buoyed by the hot cup of tea in his hands and the solid warmth of Alec next to him. Finally, he pulls out the book.

“Chamomile tea, extra honey,” Alec explains as he thumbs through the book until he reaches the bookmark. “And, the book rec I gave to you ages ago that you haven’t had a chance to read recently.”

A new surge of guilt. But before it really hits Magnus, Alec adds, “Don’t feel bad. We can read some of it now. Or, well, I’ll read some to you. You just need to relax.”

His gaze is still focused on the book as he looks at the page that Magnus had last left off, but Magnus still hears the genuine love in Alec’s tone alone. It pushes him to crane his neck to plant a kiss on Alec’s cheek.

“Thank you,” it sounds hoarse and small, could never cover the scope of just how grateful Magnus feels for Alec’s support. But in this moment, it seems like enough, because Alec flicks his gaze to Magnus and smiles shortly.

And with that, Alec begins to read. Magnus listens to the words, listens to soft-spoken declarations and distant dreams and the pitfalls but also the joys of love, lets them wash over him. He sips the tea, happy at the sweetness from the added honey, and hums where appropriate or when Alec pauses for effect.

A thought strikes him suddenly, and when Alec stops reading for a moment to turn the page for the next chapter, Magnus mutters, almost to himself, “We had our first date here.”

Magnus doesn’t know why he voices this. What’s the significance behind mentioning that detail besides nostalgia? But Alec nods, like he understands.

“Technically, only part of our first date was here,” Alec interjects. Magnus playfully shoves his side, though it kind-of ends up with him half-lying on top of Alec, unable to gather enough strength to pull himself back up.

Alec shuffles them in a way that ends up with them both lying comfortably on the couch, Magnus still sort-of lying on Alec.  _ This is so fucking comfy,  _ Magnus thinks sleepily to himself as he reaches out to place his now-empty mug onto the end table by the couch. His eyes flutter shut as he whispers, “And our first kiss was here too.”

“Someone’s in a nostalgic mood,” Alec chuckles quietly, the laugh rumbling through his chest. Magnus feels it more than hears it.

“You make me nostalgic about the past,” Magnus whispers. He’s half-awake now, the tendrils of sleep beginning to cling to his mind. “But you make me excited for the future too.”

Magnus doesn’t even know what he’s mumbling now. The accumulating sleep deprivation, the crash from the espresso he had earlier, as well as the calming chamomile and the soothing words of Alec’s have lulled him into such a state, where he’s on the verge of sleep and suddenly has no filter.

“You make everything better, Alexander,” Magnus mutters, or at least, he thinks he does. Surely he must be incoherent at this point.

It’s the last thing he remembers before he’s sound asleep.

***

When he wakes up, Magnus realises he’s in bed.

Of course, Magnus is certain (or at least, pretty sure) that he fell asleep in the library last night. But he feels soft sheets beneath him, sees the sunlight streaming through the shutters, and registers that he’s definitely in his bedroom.

The last thing he remembers is falling asleep to the sounds of Alec’s calming voice.

His eyes snap wide open as he thinks of Alec. He’s not in bed, that’s pretty clear. What day is it even? Does Alec have work? Is Alec off today? Wait, doesn’t Magnus have a meeting this morning? Shit, he can’t afford to be late, especially now.

_ Fuck. _

“I can hear you freaking out internally,” the voice cuts through Magnus’ frenzied thoughts, jolting Magnus into a seated position. He sees Alec, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, a bemused expression lighting up his face. Magnus notes the stubble along his jaw, notes the way his hazel eyes glitter as they focus on Magnus, and it strikes Magnus for probably the millionth time that Alec is far too handsome for his own good.

“Wait, do you have work? When do I have work? I -” Magnus cuts himself off from the litany of questions that he almost unleashes. He just sits there, probably looking a little stupid, his mouth still open.

Alec smiles softly at him, and walks over to sit on the bed, just across from Magnus. He reaches forward with two fingers, putting them under Magnus’ jaw and pushing his mouth until it’s closed again.

“It’s a Monday. I don’t have work. Your meeting is in a couple hours. I already have breakfast ready,” Alec supplies all the necessary information, chuckling a little at Magnus’ wide-eyed expression. “You fell asleep in the library last night. Or should I say, early this morning.”

Magnus nods, taking in all the information. He notices that he’s still in his clothes from the night before.

_ Oh shit, his makeup. _

Magnus begins to reach out for his phone, or a mirror, or something, but Alec reaches out with the hand that isn’t holding his chin to grab his hand, interlocking their fingers.

“I wiped off your makeup when I carried you in here,” Alec admits, a little sheepishly. “I mean, I know you hate when you keep it on when you sleep, so I thought -”

Alec can’t finish what he’s saying because Magnus surges forward to capture his mouth in a fierce kiss, as he’s overwhelmed by how thankful he is for Alec. For being so supportive, for caring so much, for being so doting that it’s adorable. When they pull apart, Alec’s cheeks are lightly flushed as he grins down at Magnus.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Alec smiles. “Now, are you feeling up for breakfast?”

“Let me freshen up and I’ll be right out,” Magnus replies, mirroring Alec’s smile back as he places a quick kiss on Alec’s cheek. With that, Alec nods before he stands up and makes his way out of the bedroom, padding his way back to the kitchen.

Sitting for a moment, Magnus allows himself to admit that the extra rest does make him feel better. It’s the first time all week where he doesn’t immediately want to creep back under the covers in the morning, an alarm blaring right in his ear. The more he thinks about it, the more he realises how he can’t continue working the way he is. It’ll end with him breaking down or running away from this entire thing, and that can’t happen. Not now.

He really needs to figure out a way to thank Alec beyond words. He always seems to know what Magnus needs, even before he himself does.

Magnus quickly freshens up and changes, not wishing to keep Alec waiting and also not wanting to waste too much time. His meeting is in just under two hours, and he seriously can’t afford to be late.

When he makes his way to the kitchen, he notices Alec patiently sitting at the dining table, plates already set out. Magnus eyes waffles. His stomach emits a low growl at the sight, and Alec grins wickedly at the sound.

“Come on, let’s dig in,” Alec drawls as Magnus takes his seat. The two of them nod to each other before they begin to plough into their food.

“This is delicious, Alexander,” Magnus compliments as he practically inhales his food. Alec doesn’t say anything, just chuckles a little as he watches Magnus wolf down his breakfast.

“Glad you like it,” Alec responds. “I’m sorr-” But he holds a hand up, almost for himself more than anyone else, and he stops talking. “Waffles are always a good pick-me-up.”

Magnus zones in on it nonetheless. Realisation crashes into him like a tidal wave.

He hasn’t been checking in on Alec at all this week.

“Alexander, I’m so sorry,” Magnus blurts out as he puts his knife and fork down. He’s already finished his food, whilst Alec is only halfway through his own waffles. Alec raises an eyebrow in Magnus’ direction, perplexed, but Magnus soldiers on. “I haven’t been checking in on you recently. Fuck, I’ve been so selfish. But you caught yourself before you said something self-deprecating! That’s so good!”

Alec rolls his eyes, though there’s no real malice or ill-intent behind the action. “You don’t have to apologise Magnus. You’re really busy right now. And anyway, it’s not like that’s something to be celebrated, or anything.”

Magnus shakes his head, crossing his arms. “Nonsense,” he replies. “Any progress should be celebrated.”

Alec shakes his head. “Well, still. You don’t need to worry about me, especially with all the stress you’re under right now,” Alec emphasises.

“I’m your boyfriend,” Magnus smirks a little at that. “It’s my job to worry about you.”

Alec looks like he wants to retort, but then he freezes before he just rolls his eyes. “Ah, I see. Using my own words against me,” Alec squints at Magnus, as if he’s figured out the unsolvable. The expression is very cute, Magnus has to admit.

“I’m serious, Alexander. We support and help each other. That’s what we do,” Magnus really wants to get this point across, tries to convey how sincere his words are. “Thank you for everything. If not for you, I probably would have collapsed from exhaustion and never woken up. Or run right for the hills.”

Alec hums, looking down at his plate as he finishes off the last of his waffles. “I guess you’re right,” he mumbles before he flicks his gaze up to Magnus’ eyes, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “And thank you too, Magnus. I never would’ve had the courage to share my story with anyone if not for your encouragement.”

_ That’s what we do,  _ Magnus thinks to himself with assurance as he notes the piercing gratitude in Alec’s stare.

“Speaking of, tell me what’s going on,” Magnus leans forward on the dining table, bracing his elbows on it as he leans forward to look intently at Alec. Magnus has recently been so focused on work that he hasn’t really spared a thought for how Alec’s going with this. He feels terrible for it, but he’s already received a lot of forgiveness from Alec’s end. Apologising again will just make him feel worse and probably end up really irritating.

He’ll try and make-up for it now.

“Well, actually, Maia’s helping with the editing,” Alec excitedly explains, a grin playing on his face. “She’s got a really good critical eye. And I was also thinking that, next game night, I’ll show the story to the gang.”

Magnus’ eyes widen, almost comically, when he takes in that piece of information. “Alexander, that sounds awesome! I’m telling you, they’re going to love it,” Magnus beams, almost jumping excitedly in his own seat at the prospect.

The fact that Alec doesn’t immediately deny Magnus’ words is a testament to how far he’s come.

“I hope so,” Alec replies instead after a beat. “And I know that you’re going to be really busy, but I’m still hoping you can come? I’d really appreciate the support, and I reckon game night would be a good chance for you to have a break and -”

“Alexander, never fear. I’m coming to that game night whether you like it or not,” Magnus affirms. He had already been pretty set on going originally, but knowing that Alec plans to share his story to the others at said game night gives Magnus all the more reason to go. He’ll always be there to support Alec. And Alec _ is _ right. A night of good-natured competitive games and alcohol seems like the perfect way to unwind and take a break before the launch the following Tuesday.

Alec’s expression shifts in an indescribable way that leaves Magnus’ mouth dry, and he stands up quickly before practically dragging Magnus by the collar of his long-sleeve shirt to kiss him hard. Magnus responds immediately, somehow managing to extricate himself properly from the dining table, and an errant wave of desire hits him. Surely it’s cumulative.

The same thing must be the case for Alec, as Magnus can already feel him hardening against his leg as they press close together. They both begin to walk, but to where, Magnus doesn’t really register.

“You know, when you say romantic things like that,” Alec mutters quietly in between filthy kisses. “It really gets me hot under the collar.”

Magnus doesn’t know whether to moan or to laugh, so he settles for a sigh that comes out a little shaky as he feels Alec’s mouth on his neck. “Hot under the collar? Nobody says that, Alexander.”

“And your arms in these tight-fitting shirts of yours,” Alec continues, as if Magnus didn’t say anything. “Fuck Magnus, you’re killing me.”

_ Fuck _ , the way Alec is talking is killing Magnus.

Somehow, the two of them manage to make their way back to the bedroom, and Magnus feels himself getting pushed until he’s fallen onto the bed, Alec quickly climbing on top of him to continue marking the skin of his neck. Magnus lets out a throaty groan, feels his own pants grow a little tighter.

“It’s been too long,” they both sigh loudly at the same time. And despite the lust that’s quickly taking over Magnus’ brain, he spares a thought of guilt, has an apology for his selfishness already on the tip of his tongue.

But Alec just pulls back to kiss Magnus soundly on the mouth, effectively silencing him.

“It’s ok,” Alec whispers softly, tenderness warring with desire in his expression, somehow reading Magnus’ mind.

_ He’s perfect,  _ Magnus thinks dreamily as they come back together, kissing each other eagerly, as if they’re doing this for the very first time. Magnus takes every breath moan Alec lets out, and in return, he doesn’t hold back his groans as they quickly begin to undress each other.

They’re both left naked on the bed pretty quickly, kissing and grinding their bare cocks together as if they’ve both been starved of this for too long. Honestly, that sentiment is probably at least half-true. Magnus feels like there’s electricity bubbling and zapping under his skin, lighting his nerves on fire.

Alec stops for a moment, ignoring Magnus’ disappointed whine, before he notices Alec grabbing the lube from the drawer of the end-table. Squeezing a small dollop onto his hand and settling back into position in record time, Alec grabs both of their cocks in his grip and begins to grind back down.

Magnus can’t stop the raw moan that tears its way out of his throat as the sensations overtake him. The combination of Alec’s calloused hand, the slippery lube and the velvety yet harsh contact of their cocks has Magnus seeing stars.

Honestly, considering how often they do this (the previous week notwithstanding), one would think that surely, Magnus would get used to this. Or, at least, come to figure out what to expect.

Of course, that’s not the case.

Every time he makes love to Alec, it’s always more explosive and loving and passionate than the last time. It’s always unique and special and sweet and sexy, because at the end of the day, doesn’t the experience always boil down to who you’re with?

With someone like Alec, someone so endearing and giving, someone so hot and earnest in his desire, someone so genuinely handsome, someone so  _ good _ , of course Magnus is left reeling with pure ecstasy when they’re together.

_ “Alexander,”  _ Magnus moans. The combination of his thoughts and the real-life sensations he’s experiencing right now, as well as the recent dry-spell, has him almost at the edge so soon. But Alec seems to be in the same boat. Grunting as he continues to thrust and grind onto Magnus’ cock and into his own grip, Alec’s head drops down to press a kiss to the place where Magnus’ neck meets his shoulder.

_ “Magnus,” _ Alec seems to respond, groaning breathily against Magnus’ ear.

There’s something unspoken within those names alone. It’s what makes them begin to frantically thrust against each other as Alec bites down on Magnus’ collarbone. The only sounds that fill their morning space is the slick obscene sounds of their cocks sliding together and their mingled panting breaths.

All at once, the sensations become too much, overwhelming Magnus with an orgasm that seems to rip itself through him. A string of expletives, mixed with Alec’s name, pour out of his mouth as he feels Alec shudder above him as he rides out his own orgasm.

When they both come down from their high, Alec half-collapses on top of Magnus for a brief moment, before half-rolling off of him. It ends up with them having as much skin-to-skin contact as possible without Alec totally crushing Magnus to the bed.

“I love you a lot, you know,” Magnus mumbles a moment later, as his breathing returns to a normal pace. Alec hums groggily at that.

“I know. And I love you too,” Alec mutters quietly. He pauses for a moment, and when Magnus is about to say something else, Alec instead says, “You make everything better, Magnus.”

Magnus has half-a-mind to shove Alec off the bed at that, because initially, it sounds like he’s teasing. Now that Alec has said the words, Magnus clearly remembers mumbling them to Alec before sleep had taken him far away. But then Magnus notices the catch in Alec’s voice, and turns his head to see Alec looking at him as if he, Magnus Bane, has hung all the stars in the sky, hazel eyes shining with sincere awe and joy and love.

Magnus wonders if he’ll ever get used to it. The surety, the wholehearted nature of Alec’s love for him. The support, seemingly endless and undeserved, and yet, somehow always there. What amazing thing did he do in a past life to deserve Alexander now?

Honestly, it still boggles his mind.

But he doesn’t really know how to express this all. So, instead, he just says, “Maybe we both make things better for each other.”

It doesn’t really cover everything Magnus wants to say, but one look from Alec tells Magnus that he understands. Of course he does. They know each other so well at this point, always seem to be in sync with these sort of things.

Alec grins. “I guess that’s just what we do,” he responds, plainly and simply.

And Magnus beams back in response. “I guess you’re right,” he replies quietly.

_ That’s what we do,  _ Magnus thinks back to himself. There’s no statement closer to the truth than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an actual chapter count now? Not just a question mark lol. That means we're approaching the final stretch guys!
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3  
> PS. Come say hi on twitter if you want! - [@onalonaa](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) <3


	24. You're The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is it for him.
> 
> The thought had lingered in the back of his mind even from as early as that first date, but this had been the moment where the sentiment had crystallised into something tangible, obvious, clear to Alec.
> 
> Magnus is the one for him. There’s no doubt about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this whilst high off cough medicine because sickness is a bitch so apologies.
> 
> Hopefully y'all still enjoy!

**Alec [4.32pm]:** _ is it ok if you guys come to game night sober tonight? _

**Izzy [5.51pm]:** _ ahh alright? how come? _

**Alec [6.32pm]:** _ magnus is making his famous margaritas and he wants everyone to be sober to try them firsthand _

**Izzy [6.34pm]:** _ magnus is coming? awesome! and yeah, no worries :) _

Magnus stands, glancing over Alec’s shoulder whilst Alec sits on the couch. His responding chuckle sounds equally intrigued and bemused.

“You’re using my famous margaritas as an excuse?” Magnus questions teasingly from behind Alec. Alec just rolls his eyes.

“I mean, it’s not technically wrong or anything,” Alec mumbles sheepishly. “I mean, it’s not like I can say, ‘Hey sis. Can you all come sober so you’re in the right frame-of-mind to read this story that I just happened to write without letting any of you guys know over the years?’ And you did say you would make them for everyone.”

Magnus just hums in what Alec assumes is agreement. “You’ve got me there. Speaking of which, I’m going to head over to the kitchen. You’re alright just chilling here?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking  _ you  _ that? At the end of the day, this is my place,” Alec turns around in his seat to look-up at Magnus standing behind the couch. Magnus’ soft smile just widens as their eyes meet.

“I just don’t want you to be nervous,” Magnus admits. “Because you have no reason to be.”

“Honestly, Magnus… I don’t think I am,” Alec immediately replies, holding Magnus’ gaze steady so he knows that he isn’t lying. It hits home in this moment that he really isn’t that nervous, in all honesty. Sure, he’s still a little worried, but he also knows that everyone he wants to share this story with love him very much and will probably give him a whole lot of support. 

Maia’s been incredibly helpful. As a passionate reader and good friend, she’s shown her support in both her words and her help with editing recently. He’s not nervous now because he has just a little more faith that the story he has now not only reads better, but also sounds more interesting, sophisticated.

And then Alec thinks of Magnus. Surely, he’s the main reason he doesn’t feel nervous now. Alec’s grown over the past few weeks in his own self-assurance of how he feels about this story. It’s not like he’s reached the end of the road, and he has far to go on this journey of self-compassion that’s been jump-started by Magnus’ observation and unending support. It bolsters him now, empowers him to just give everything a try. He’s still taking small steps, but small steps forward are better than staying still or going backwards.

Magnus’ gaze doesn’t move from Alec’s face, and he must see something he likes, because his expression turns into something a little fonder, a little prouder. “I’m glad,” Magnus whispers, reaching down to cup Alec’s cheek. His finger tuck a loose lock of unruly hair behind Alec’s ear, and the gesture is so measured yet so sweet that Alec practically melts, turning his face slightly to kiss Magnus’ palm in appreciation.

Nodding with satisfaction, Magnus beams, retracting his hand before slowly walking away, back to the kitchen, no doubt to prepare those famous margaritas. Taking a deep shuddering breath, Alec turns back around, eyes fixed on the last message from Izzy.

Even now, it makes him so incredibly happy to know that everyone loves Magnus. It’s obvious in how they interact with such enthusiasm and joy whenever Magnus is around, obvious in the genuine interest and laughter surrounding Magnus’ stories and jokes. Izzy and Magnus have even hung out a few times without Alec for shopping trips, Izzy apparently constantly needling Magnus for more details about the line. But Magnus is a master at keeping things under lock-and-key.

It probably is for the better. It means Izzy will get the full experience when they all go to the launch in a few days.

When Magnus had extended the invitation to all five of them for the line launch, Alec had initially been a little skeptical about whether Magnus could do that.

“It’s a lot of people,” Alec had said, but Magnus had just shaken his head.

“I want all of you there. They’re your family Alexander, of course I do,” Magnus had immediately responded, as if this was the only true answer, as if there was no doubt in Magnus’ mind about Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon coming. “They’ve all been lovely to me. And besides, at the end of the day, I can invite whoever I want. It’s my launch.”

Alec had laughed at that, but the words had stuck with him. Even now, he mulls them over as he turns off his phone screen, electing instead to get off the couch and clean up the living room.

When Magnus had said that, so clear in his certainty, it had been some sort of eureka moment, almost. Because Alec knows that, whoever he’s spending the rest of his life with, has to get along with his family. And Magnus does more than that. Everyone loves him. So when Magnus had told Alec that, it hammered home the fact that, for Alec at least, Magnus was it _. Magnus is it for him. _

The thought had lingered in the back of his mind even from as early as that first date, but this had been the moment where the sentiment had crystallised into something tangible, obvious, clear to Alec.

Magnus is the one for him. There’s no doubt about it.

Shaking his head to reorient himself, Alec begins to clear up the living room properly. It’s not like the others have never seen the place as a mess or anything, but at the heart of it all, Alec always wants to be a good host. It’s not too much to ask of himself, and he hums a little as he hears Magnus tinkering away in the kitchen.

It’s seems to easy to imagine this being the norm for them forever. Something about Alec and Magnus, from the moment they met, just fits. It’s clear to Alec in how they both act in this shared domestic space - like it’s always been like this. It’s comfortable and sweet and it makes Alec fall down a rabbit-hole of fantasies of the future. Fantasies that could easily become a reality, because it’s Magnus, and to Alec, he’s perfect.

Jolting from his internal musings by the sound of the intercom, Alec quickly chucks a throw pillow onto the couch haphazardly as he scoots over quickly to the intercom to buzz everyone up. A moment later, Alec opens the front door to find the four of them there. He ushers them all in with greetings, as the five of them spend a few moments sharing bright smiles and clingy hugs and pleasantries at the front area of Alec’s apartment. He’s happy to see that all four of them look sober, at least.

Alec hears a door swing open, and turns his head to see Magnus walk over from the kitchen to the group of them, smiling warmly. He immediately gets wrapped up in a similar greeting, full of hugs and smiles and questions of how Magnus has been recently considering the impending launch.

Despite the extra concealer, or whatever it’s called, Alec doesn’t miss the sunken darkened eye-bags under Magnus’’ eyes. Only someone who is really looking and knows Magnus well enough could see the telltale signs of drain and stress on him. But Alec knows Magnus, and he sees everything. He sees the way he slightly drags his feet with every step, sees the strained smile that belies his tiredness as the others ask him questions about how he’s doing. No one else seems to notice these things, but Magnus has always been good at putting forward the notion that everything’s alright, even if it isn’t. He recounts sweeping stories of late nights and laughs them off, but Alec can see the exhaustion practically etched into his expression and colouring his tone. It kills Alec to see him like this, but at the same time, he knows that he can’t hold Magnus back at this point. It’s reassuring to Alec that it’ll all be finished by Tuesday.

Tuesday. The big day is suddenly so startlingly close that Alec’s eyes widen slightly in surprise. It’s crazy to think that so much of the year has already passed already. Why does it feel like just yesterday, when Alec had been sharing his first new-year kiss with Magnus and laughing over  _ Friends _ reruns? And yet now, they’re already well into Spring.

In the span of time that Alec has known Magnus, it feels like it’s all happened in a matter of seconds and a matter of years at the same time. Alec has never felt so alive than he has in these last few months. Sure, they only met last November, but to Alec, it feels like they’ve known each other for years. There’s an undeniable security and trust within their relationship, the kind that usually takes years to cultivate. And yet, with Magnus from the start, it was always so easy. It’s still so easy, for Alec. To be here. To be with Magnus.

“Earth to Alec,” a hand waving in Alec’s line-of-sight shocks him out of his introspective thoughts, and Alec angles his gaze down to see Clary glancing amusedly up at him.

“Huh?” Alec asks dumbly as he sweeps his gaze to find everyone looking at him expectantly. Fuck, what happened to him being a good host?

“We were just wondering if we could try Magnus’ famous margaritas,” Jace prompts after a moment. Alec sees Magnus’ mouth open, almost as if ready to protest, before their gazes lock and Magnus abruptly shuts his mouth.

_ He wants me to do this, _ Alec realises.

“Actually, you can all go to the living room and Magnus and I can bring out the margaritas, and dinner” Alec explains as he brings his arms up to gently push Simon and Clary in the direction of the living room. The four of them get the hint from Alec’s subtle nudging, all of them murmuring to each other quietly as they move away. It leaves just Magnus and Alec standing before Alec’s front door. 

Magnus inches closer, and Alec angles himself forward, almost subconsciously, to catch Magnus’ quiet voice. “Is everything ok? You sure you aren’t nervous?” he asks quietly, barely above a whisper in Alec’s ear.

It touches Alec to hear Magnus’ concern. He realises with a jolt that Magnus thinks that Alec spacing out before had something to do with nerves, or fear. If only Magnus knew how far from the truth that was.

“I’m ok,” Alec reassures Magnus at the same volume. “And you?”

Magnus opens his mouth, and Alec can practically  _ see _ Magnus prepare to say something along the lines of, “I’m fine.” But then he must notice Alec’s own searching gaze, because instead, Magnus just sighs. “Honestly? I’m so fucking tired. But I’m ok. It’ll all be worth it.”

Alec doesn’t know how to respond except to envelop Magnus in a crushing hug, holding Magnus tight against him. As if his arms alone have the strength to rejuvenate, to energise, his boyfriend. The way that Magnus grips him tightly back makes Alec think that, even if the gesture alone isn’t enough for Magnus, the support from said gesture may just help revitalise him a little.

“We’re ok,” Alec mumbles into the crook of Magnus’ neck. He feels Magnus nod against him, feels Magnus shift a little closer.

“I love you,” Magnus sighs into Alec’s shoulder. No matter how many times he’s heard Magnus say it, Alec still can’t fight that giddy little smile that crosses his face upon hearing it. He could never get sick of Magnus saying those three words to him. 

“I love you too,” Alec responds, squeezing his eyes shut and allowing himself a moment to indulge in the purity of the moment. It’s small, short, and yet it seems to stretch far beyond these few moments they remain locked in this embrace.

The two of them hear a loud muffled shout of an unamused Jace from the living room that sounds something like, “I bet they’re fucking in the kitchen right now!” These words finally push the two of them to pull apart, albeit very slowly and reluctantly, and they share equally bemused grins as they both make their way to the kitchen to grab the Jade Wolf takeout boxes and Magnus’ margaritas.

As Alec expects, everyone’s eyes zone in on the colourful alcohol when they enter the living room a moment later.

“Woah, those look magical,” Simon observes aloud as Magnus hands everyone their drinks. Alec takes a really long swig of his one as soon as it gets handed to him, and basically drains the entire glass.

Nervous or not, ok or not, the liquid courage definitely is going to help him.

Izzy takes a sip, eyes widening in surprise. “These are strong. But they’re really tasty, damn,” Izzy muses as she continues to drink. The others echo back similar sentiments, and Magnus smiles a little smugly as he casually sips his own drink. He seats himself next to Alec on the couch, raising an expectant eyebrow at him, golden-brown eyes glimmering in the low-light of the living room.

Alec doesn’t make an immediate move to dish out the takeout boxes, and instead watches the four of them. They’re sitting kind-of across from Magnus and Alec on the couch, all enjoying their alcohol.

The whole point of them coming sober was so that they wouldn’t be wasted when Alec told them about his story. Now, he doesn’t mind them having drink a little, but it becomes obvious to him very quickly that, if he doesn’t say anything soon, all four of them are going to keep getting more margaritas and quickly deteriorate into drunken messes.

“I need to tell you guys something,” Alec begins abruptly, because at the end of the day, he’s never been one to sugarcoat things. He doesn’t like to beat around the bush, and the alcohol from before is already helping him feel a tad bolder.

All four of them look concerned when he says those words. “Is everything ok?” Clary asks.

“You know, the last time you said those exact words to us was when you came out,” Izzy observes, gaze soft. They all look really worried, which is honestly the last thing Alec wants.

He smiles reassuringly at all of them, sparing a glance at Magnus. “Everything’s ok, guys. Everything’s great, actually. I just wanted to share something with you guys,” Alec explains. With these words, he brandishes his laptop, opening it up to the document the story is on. Without a word, he places the laptop on the coffee table between them, spinning it around slowly until the screen faces the four of them. 

“What’s this?” Simon asks as the four of them crowd around the laptop.

Alec pauses for a moment, watches their faces as they look at the screen. His mouth suddenly doesn’t know how to speak. But then he glances across to the side, sees Magnus’ encouraging smile, and it pushes him to speak.

And so, as the four of them read, Alec explains. He talks about writing as a kid, about hiding it in fear of it not being good enough, and about his writer’s block after Max died and he came out. Then he explains how, when Magnus had entered his life, it was as if new life had been breathed into him, and his writer’s block had been lifted. He reflects on how he’s been editing, writing and rewriting progressively over the past few months, how he’s been gearing up to share this story with them. All the while, the four of them alternate between reading and glancing up at Alec in what he hopes are positive emotions.

When he’s finished rambling, he’s met with four equally surprised expressions. 

Alec hears four different things get yelled out at the same time.

“You wrote over 300 pages of this? That’s epic,” Jace exclaims.

“This is so so cute!” Clary squeals.

“Your writing is so good!” Simon cheers.

“This is amazing, Alec,” Izzy compliments.

It’s one thing to hear compliments from people like Magnus and Maia, who are people who enjoy reading as a pastime. But hearing Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon compliment his writing, when they haven’t even read that much of the story, and when none of them are avid readers to begin with, makes Alec’s smile grow wider.

He catches Magnus’ pleased grin, before turning back to see the four of them approaching him. He’s swept up in large hugs, compliments and exclamations of surprise ringing in Alec’s ears. He takes it all in, revels in the moment as the four of them break-away.

He spots Izzy whisper something to Magnus. He doesn’t pick-up what Izzy says, but he sees Magnus smile gratefully back at her. Alec makes a mental note to ask about that later as his stomach grumbles.

“Who wants dinner?” Alec asks giddily as he hands out the takeout containers.

And just like that, it’s out. It almost feels a little too easy.

But as their dinner is filled with intrigued questions and conversation surrounding emails with attached documents, Alec soaks in the moment. After everything, he allows himself a chance to think that he deserves it.

***

“Pottery class!” Magnus yells out. Clary claps her hands loudly, pumping her fist in the air.

“This is unfair. Clary shouldn’t be allowed to play,” Jace slurs as he chucks his whiteboard marker half-heartedly onto the floor in defeat. Alec has to admit, Clary and her team are definitely at an advantage considering they have a legitimate artist on their team.

It’s Magnus, Clary and Simon VS Alec, Jace and Izzy. The disparity in skill is pretty obvious. None of the Lightwoods have been known for their drawing abilities, whilst Clary is amazing at drawing. On top of that, Simon is pretty decent, and Alec has learnt from the previous few turns that Magnus is actually pretty good at drawing too.

The man has the audacity to be good at  _ everything _ .

“Why the fuck did you suggest this game, Alec?” Izzy asks, whining loudly as she sips more of her margarita. The words and the actions has Alec hurtling toward deja vu. The only real difference between then and now is that Magnus is here now.

Oh, and the fact that they’re  _ actually playing _ pictionary right now.

Everyone’s pretty drunk, even Alec and Simon, who usually like to stay a little more sober. It makes the game more interesting, especially for Team Lightwood. Their already lacklustre drawing skills have definitely taken a hit thanks to the alcohol running through their veins.

Alec doesn’t feel like responding to his little sister, instead electing to pick-up the whiteboard marker from the floor and taking Jace’s place. He’s about to rub-out Jace’s sad attempt of a drawing when he hears a bark of laughter.

“Jace, how the fuck is that supposed to be a pottery class?” Simon wheezes in laughter, eyes crinkling as he pushes his glasses askew by clapping. Alec looks at the whiteboard and has to admit that Jace’s attempt looks less like a pottery class and more like some sort of demonic orgy. 

“Shut up,” Jace just whines in irritation as he plops himself down next to Izzy with a huff. Clary laughs brightly as she too sits down next to Simon, whilst Magnus gets up to have his turn drawing. They both rub-out their whiteboards, a strong sense of urgency to beat Magnus surging through Alec as they both reach out at the same time to read the cue card they are to base their drawing off of.

_ ANGEL _

Alec rushes to the board, squiggling some sort of circle to act as a face. He dots two eyes, adds a smiley mouth, and draws a loop above the head. He glances at his two siblings, begging them telepathically to understand the loop as a halo, and drawing over it multiple times.

“Potato,” Jace calls out instead.

“Alien,” Izzy supplies.

Jace yells, “Confusion. Dizzy. Drug dealer? Acid trip!”

_ Seriously?  _

“Angel!” Simon yells out after a beat, and Magnus cheers loudly in response to the correct guess. Alec turns to look at Magnus’ drawing, a complaint already on the tip of his tongue. Instead, upon seeing Magnus’ drawing, his jaw drops.

It’s not to Clary’s standard, but the angel that’s been drawn is really good. And seriously detailed. There’s a detailed face, wings, robes and, of course, a halo. 

The competitive fire and anger at losing dies down as he really takes a moment to observe the drawing. How did Magnus manage to convey this much detail in a few minutes? And it seems he was bothered enough to use different coloured markers too. The hair of the angel is in black, but the brown and green markers were used for the eyes and -

“Is that angel meant to be… me?” Alec asks, no inhibitions stopping him from citing the random, and frankly, a little self-centred, observation. Magnus looks back at him, eyes a little glassy from all the alcohol, and bats his eyelids at Alec in response.

“No,” Magnus drags out the “o” sound before winking conspiratorially at Alec.

There isn’t really any other way to respond to that except for Alec to reach out quickly, seizing Magnus by the arm and tugging him close. He kisses him hard on the mouth, swallowing a surprised gasp from Magnus as their eyes flutter shut.

If not for the loud exaggerated cough from Jace, Alec probably could’ve stayed like that forever. Alas, the loud sound makes them lazily pull apart, meeting Jace’s unimpressed gaze.

“Nope,” Alec beats Jace to the punch, popping the “p” sound a little comically and shaking his head a little. “I went through this shit for years at game night. I deserve this,” Alec laughs, and with that, he kisses Magnus hard on the mouth again.

When they pull apart finally, to be greeted by the amused expressions of their friends, Magnus looks long and hard at Alec.

“You do deserve this,” Magnus whispers, so quiet that none of the others can hear. They’re only four words, but they’re powerful, and they make Alec feel light like air.

“So do you,” Alec counters, smiling softly down at his boyfriend, a brief moment of sobriety washing over them.

The moment shatters when Izzy hollers, “Ok Simon! Prepare to get your ass kicked with my next drawing!”

Everything falls into line after that. And Alec has to admit, he’s very happy. It took awhile, but he finally has his game of pictionary. It took awhile, but he finally has what he wanted.

_ In more ways than one _ , he thinks, glancing across to see Magnus, shining like light personified in Alec’s eyes.

***

“They all loved it,” Alec mumbles, equally in awe and disbelief, as the two of them lie in bed, bodies tangled up with each other, sleep already beginning to claim Alec’s mind.

“Of course they did,” Magnus chuckles quietly in response. Alec’s eyes are closed, and he can’t see Magnus’ face, but he can just imagine the soft way his eyes would crinkle from the sound alone. It makes Alec’s lips curve upwards in a small smile.

“Thank you, for being there to support me,” Alec mutters, breathing beginning to slow.

“Of course,” Magnus replies. “And thank you for giving me the chance to unwind a little. I had a lot of fun.”

Alec just holds onto Magnus a little tighter at those words. “Me too,” Alec sighs contently.

There’s a moment, a pause, where neither of them say anything.

“Magnus?” Alec questions after, half-expecting Magnus to have already fallen asleep.

“Yeah?” comes the bleary reply.

“I think the next small step I’m going to do is… figure out a title,” Alec wonders if Magnus realises the weight of these words.

A title may seem like a small thing, but it’s the sort-of step that hints at the possibility of something more. You can’t put a manuscript forward to a publisher without a title.

Of course, Magnus does realise the weight of this, because he has the audacity to not only be good at everything, but also know everything. “That sounds great, Alexander,” Magnus mumbles back, voice dropping low and his breath fanning Alec’s face. It sounds like Magnus is on the verge of sleep too.

_ Good,  _ Alec thinks.  _ He needs as much sleep as possible right now. _

Something keeps Alec from fully succumbing though, and his mind goes back to that interaction between Magnus and Izzy earlier.

“What did Izzy say to you? Before, I mean,” Alec asks, the alcohol still in his system and spurring him to ask without his trademark nerves from overthinking.

Magnus just sighs loudly. “She thanked me for being there for you. For inspiring and supporting you. And I told her, the inspiring part, I had nothing to do with. And the supporting part is just… what any decent person would do,” Magnus explains drowsily.

“You had everything to do with inspiring me,” Alec immediately replies even though his voice sounds weak from drowsiness. “Your whole being, Magnus. Your support and love, which is far beyond what any decent person would do, is the reason that tonight even happened. So, thank you.”

Alec feels as well as hears Magnus hum in reply.

_ “You’re the reason  _ tonight happened, Alec. I’m so proud of you,” Magnus whispers.

And with the giddiest of smiles on his face from the praise, Alec easily drifts off to sleep afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more proper chapter and one epilogue to go! How crazy, huh? To think I started this all the way back in March wooow... I'm already getting sappy so I'll stop.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read! Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3  
> PS. Come say hi on twitter if you want! - [@onalonaa](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) <3


	25. Being With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now, what?” Alec asks gently after a long moment.
> 
> Magnus expels a breath, as everything swirling around in his head seems to settle, and allows him to focus.
> 
> “You, Alexander. You’re the most important thing to me, now. And when I saw you, from that stage, it made me realise that… this whole dream, of launching this line and doing this show,” Magnus clears his throat. “It… doesn’t hold a candle compared to the dream that I get to live every day, being with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who procrastinated their life away by writing this instead of doing any study? That's right, meeee :D

“You guys know where your seats are, right? I mean, I clearly indicated where you guys are, but I don’t know. Just, make sure you walk past the main stage area and veer a little and you should see the -”

“Magnus,” Ragnor’s voice cuts through Magnus’ rambling, effectively silencing the man. “We know where to go.”

“Yeah, Magnus,” Isabelle chimes in, grinning wildly and bouncing from foot-to-foot in apparent excitement. “You don’t need to worry about us.”

It’s a bit of a strange sight, seeing Cat and Ragnor and Raph along with Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Simon. It’s like two worlds sort-of colliding, but everyone has been nothing but amazingly friendly with each other, as Magnus had suspected. Everyone is dressed to the nines, which Magnus definitely appreciates. The effort has definitely not gone unnoticed. And of course there’s Alec, standing right next to him, a soothing hand reaching out to grab Magnus’ shoulder.

“I know, I just… everything tonight has to be perfect,” Magnus groans, fighting the urge to rub his hands over his face. Doing so runs the risk of ruining his makeup, and he does _ not _ need that right now.

“And it will be,” Alec’s voice is calming, like the sweeping rush of the waves along the shoreline on a quiet balmy night. His grip on Magnus’ shoulder tightens, bringing Magnus’ gaze up to look at him in the eye. There’s an authentic conviction within his steely gaze, combined with the sort of pride that brings a soft upturn of his lips.

Considering the numerous sets of eyes on them, Magnus doesn’t lean forward to kiss him like he wants to. Instead, Magnus just reaches up with his opposing hand, grabbing onto Alec’s hand on his shoulder and smiling gratefully up at Alec.

“We all know it, Magnus. This is going to be incredible” Alec reassures him, grinning brightly. Everyone around them voices similar affirmations, but Magnus can’t take his eyes off of Alexander. It’s invigorating to hear Alec, someone who’s not very well-versed in the world of fashion and design, saying these things with such strong belief behind his words. With that, Magnus takes in a shuddering deep breath, expelling it slowly before sweeping his gaze over the group of them.

Everyone is looking at him with excitement and pride, and it makes Magnus’ heart swell in his chest. Of course, Cat and Ragnor wear matching grins. They’ve seen him go through so many ups and downs, Ragnor so often being a source of comfort and advice for Magnus in his lowest moments. There’s Raphael, who actually doesn’t look like he wants to die for once. Is that even a hint of a smile? Magnus will take it.

Then there’s the people who he’s grown to love so much over the span of the last few months alone. Isabelle has been a ball of energy since they got here. She’ll finally have all her answers for the questions she’s been needling Magnus with over the past few months, and the energy of the space they’re in seems to fuel her excitement. Simon looks amused enough at his excited fiance, and he’s looked absolutely starstruck since they all arrived. Clary and Jace are holding hands and smiling with mirrored expressions of amazement. Maybe Jace’s expression is leaning more towards bewilderment, but nonetheless, they both look very proud.

Magnus turns his head, and then there’s Alexander Lightwood, hazel eyes shining with some kind of indescribable emotion. It’s like a combination of pure awe, joy, excitement and pride that sends Magnus’ heart stuttering in his chest. When their eyes meet, Alec's grin grows impossibly wider, and Magnus can’t help but feel that the rest of the world melts away, if only just for a brief moment.

“We all believe in you, Magnus,” Alec whispers. Quick as light, he ducks his head down and plants a quick kiss on Magnus’ cheek. It’s a split second of contact, but the spot where Alec kisses him feels warm as Magnus registers a couple of croons from those around them. Magnus, despite everything, feels himself blush a little whilst Alec smirks down at him.

_ Oh, how the tables have turned,  _ Magnus thinks in surprise to himself. But before he can say anything along the lines of his thoughts, he hears someone who sounds suspiciously like Lydia calling out his name.

“I guess that’s my cue,” Magnus chuckles instead, turning to the small crowd around him. They all seem to press in, forming some kind of protective hug around him as a chorus of well wishes and reassurances surround him. Magnus closes his eyes and soaks in the moment, lets it buoy him in the security and strength that he’s definitely going to need for the next few hours.

With that, they all break apart and begin to walk in the terribly-given direction Magnus had instructed, before they all seem to find someone who directs them on where to go. The only person to linger behind is Alec, trailing behind and staying with Magnus for a moment even as the others find their seats.

“Magnus, talk to me,” Alec instructs when the others are out of earshot. Magnus hears the words and practically sags as he expels a deep breath.

“I’m so fucking nervous,” Magnus’ words burst out of him, rushing out in the span of one exhalation. “But once this show is over, I know I’ll be really happy.”

“It’s your dream,” Alec smiles. Magnus nods along at that. Without thinking, he surges forward and grips Alec tightly against him for the space of a single moment, soaking in the reassuring presence that is Alec Lightwood, giving Magnus the energy to get through the next few hours.

When Magnus pushes away, he can’t resist tugging Alec forward by the lapels of his suit jacket and kissing him chastely on the mouth. Alec’s dazed expression when they break apart almost makes Magnus break out in a laugh.

“I’ll be really happy because I know that, at the end of the day, I’m going home and spending some quality downtime with you,” Magnus chuckles. “And the dream thing too.”

Alec laughs in surprise at that, and the sound feels like a breath of fresh air singing within Magnus’ lungs.

“Magnus!” Lydia’s shout is louder and harsher this time, more irritated.

“Ok, that’s  _ really  _ my cue,” Magnus winks, causing Alec to chuckle once more. As Magnus slowly begins to walk in the opposite direction of where Alec’s sitting, he murmurs quickly, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Alec grins back. “Good luck!”

With that, the two of them separate properly, Magnus turning away to quickly rush-off backstage. He imagines Alec catching up with the others, sitting down with them. Would he be copping any teasing from the others?

Knowing everyone else sitting there, Magnus already knows the answer to that.

The preliminary hours before the actual fashion show pass by in a blur. Magnus is caught in the midst of a hurricane of last-minute touch-ups, fixing misplaced stitches and calming hysterical models and workers down, all whilst trying to keep his own sanity and not just run away. Lydia is there to help with the managerial things, but a lot of the finer aesthetic details come down to Magnus having to fix it himself.

He finds a sliver of free time to duck his head out and see the numerous people seated in the space where the show’s being held. Magnus spies reporters, journalists, celebrities, and media personalities, as well as his friends and family. The only one who notices Magnus looking at them in the moment is Simon, who sends a beaming thumbs-up in Magnus’ direction that almost makes Magnus crack-up on the spot.

If that isn’t a sign of Magnus’ waning sanity, Magnus doesn’t know what is.

The sight of the crowd is sobering, to say the least. Magnus, not for the first time, feels the immense pressure riding on this. This line needs to make a good impression in order for anything good to come out of it.

_ We all believe in you, Magnus. _

The words swirl within Magnus’ head, almost wrap around him, a safety blanket from all the stress and worry that seems to have been building up ever since he first got the green light all those months ago.

With that, Magnus returns backstage, and is instantly met with a million other things he needs to do. He grins and bears it, because at the end of the day, this is all in pursuit of his dream. He’s  _ so close,  _ he can practically taste it.

All too soon, Lydia’s buzzing around to let everyone know that all the guests have arrived and it’s time to start. Magnus has to stay backstage for majority of the show, but he’s run-through the beginning so much by now that he can close his eyes and envision what the audience must be seeing right now.

The stage will start in complete darkness, before the lights forming the surface of the catwalk will slowly trail light up to the main stage area. The main focus of the lights is to convey the concept of magic, of colour. Magnus hears the delicate music begin, and turns around to do one last check-over of the first model up, Alaric, seeing that everything is in order. As the delicate music bleeds into a pounding electronic beat, Magnus smiles at him.

“You look awesome,” Magnus compliments. “Now, go smash it.”

Alaric whispers back a hushed thank-you with a smile, before he walks up and around to begin the show.

The next couple of hours pass by like this. Magnus is the last person the model sees before they go up to the catwalk, always doing a final once-over and sending them off with a smile and a compliment. The energy backstage is hectic, things still being thrown around and getting fixed even to the very last moment. But despite the frenzy, Magnus feels like he’s running on adrenaline, feeding off the energy to get things done.

The stress melts away, leaving Magnus here doing things that are familiar. And despite the chaos, the smile that Magnus always sends to the model before they go up is always reciprocated, and definitely makes everything feel a little lighter. It’s easy to bop your head along to the driving beat of the music that thrums throughout the venue, easy to get swept up in the finality of the completed looks of each and every model going up.

It’s almost like going on auto-pilot. This is why it’s a shock to Magnus when he realises that all the models have lined up to have one final walk.

“Magnus?” Lydia comes up behind him, tapping Magnus on the shoulder. He turns around to find Lydia looking up at him. Her blond hair, normally contained so well in her ponytail, looks like it’s fraying a little, and she looks a little unsteady after stalking around for hours on-end, but her face looks wearily amused.

“What?” Magnus questions, blinking slowly.

“You’re up,” Lydia chuckles. “You look great, so now, it’s time to smash it.”

Magnus doesn’t miss that Lydia’s mirroring his own words that he’s said in many different variations throughout the night, and quickly leans down to give her a tight hug. Lydia, usually not one to be overly affectionate, returns the embrace, and Magnus feels incredibly grateful that he’s been able to work with someone as hardworking and diligent as her.

Pulling back with a smirk, Magnus jokingly sends a salute back in Lydia’s direction, before he follows the final model up and around.

And suddenly, he’s on stage.

It’s not that Magnus has ever shied away from attention. The flashing lights from the photographers, the frenzied writing of journalists, the quiet jostling as all the models continue to walk-down the catwalk with him in tow - it’s everything Magnus thought it would be. But there’s something else. It’s overwhelming, almost feels like Magnus is drowning in the sensory overload he’s experiencing right now. The stress, the caffeine and so on probably isn’t helping. And yet, a part of it also feels… lacklustre, like he’s looking at everything through grainy black-and-white film, the surrounding noise echoing hollowly around him.

Magnus turns his head, and one person is suddenly in his focus. It probably helps that he’s freakishly tall.

Alec is grinning from ear-to-ear, and when their gazes connect, he leans further forward and pumps a fist into the air, biting his lip. Magnus can barely see it, but he’s able to interpret the three words that Alec mouths to him.

_ You did it. _

And with that, Magnus’ world bursts into surround-sound technicolour, and he feels as if he can take a deep breath, as if he’s brought his head above the water. He begins to take long purposeful strides down the catwalk, following all the models gathering at the front stage area. He spies Cat, Ragnor and Raphael, as well as Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Simon. Isabelle looks like she’s about to faint, her dark eyes wide with awe and excitement.

They all look so proud and happy. Magnus reciprocates the giant grins they send in his direction, even blowing a kiss at them before he sweeps his gaze around to the rest of the audience. Despite the models before him, all eyes are on Magnus as he walks up to the front stage area.

When he makes it there, the models practically part around him, allowing Magnus to reach the front of their small huddle. As Magnus does so, the music reaches a grand crescendo as the lights of the catwalk and stage explode around them in flashes to glitter and colour. At the same time, confetti is fired, leaving little bits of holographic confetti raining around them all at the epic climax of the show.

All the models crowd around Magnus, all cheering loudly, and Magnus lets himself take it all in. He feels as if a heavy weight, a burden that has been holding him down slowly but surely over the past few months, has been lifted from his shoulders.

_ It’s over, _ Magnus thinks giddily to himself.

_ I did it. _

***

The hours following the show are just as hectic, maybe even more so, than the show. Magnus really wants to just grab Alec and run-away to binge-watch trash on Netflix or something, but instead, he spends the next few hours mingling with people, doing interviews and having a good amount of alcohol.

He does end up enjoying his time though.

With the interviewers, he gets asked thoughtful and insightful questions about the line, about his role as a trail-blazing Asian-American in the field, and about what he plans on doing next. He answers those questions truthfully, citing his need to take a 50-year-long nap, to the amusement of the interviewers.

He receives many compliments, half of them spilling from dear Isabelle’s mouth, about the designs and the aesthetics of the show.

Everyone from the group Magnus invited comes up to him at different times throughout the evening, expressing their amazement, joy and pride over the show. The fact that Raphael doesn’t make some snarky comment about the lights giving him a headache is all the compliment that Magnus needs, and he answers Jace’s confused but curious questions about the process over their martinis.

He doesn’t miss out on going up to everyone, models and other workers alike, to show his gratitude and thank them all. Everyone is quick to reciprocate the praise, sharing their joy over the success of the show. Lydia is practically glowing, looking like she’s letting loose for once in her life and just enjoying the evening. Magnus wonders how long it’s going to last, before she reverts back to her workaholic ways. But for now, he’s just happy his old friend is having fun.

Then there’s Alec, who doesn’t leave his side unless Magnus is needed for an interview, and his reassuring presence is amazingly comforting. It’s even a little hilarious when numerous people come up to Alec and ask if he was one of the models. Every time someone asks this, it never fails to make Alec’s cheeks turn a little pink as he ducks his head. But he accepts the compliments nonetheless, and for that, Magnus couldn’t be happier. And it’s not like Magnus can blame them. Alec looks incredibly handsome in his black suit with a green tie that brings out the hues of his sparkling eyes.

_ Maybe I can ask him to consider modelling for the future,  _ Magnus reflects to himself with a smirk.

Soon enough, people begin to filter out of the venue. Magnus currently holds no concept of time, and just becomes increasingly aware of people saying their farewells as they leave.

At this point, the adrenaline begins to fade as the alcohol makes drowsiness settle in his head. Lydia notices the droop of Magnus’ eyes, and quietly lets him know that he’s free to leave whenever.

“You deserve the rest, Magnus. Go home and sleep for three days or something,” Lydia informs him. Grateful to hear the words, Magnus feels as if he could fall asleep here and now, considering that the high from the show and the after-party comes crashing down. If he had any concern to spare, Magnus would disagree, would affirm that he would stay so as not to seem rude as the quote-unquote host.

But, honestly, Magnus feels a tiredness that seeps into his bones. So he just nods lazily at Lydia, thanking her quietly, before turning a little to look at Alec.

“You hear that, Alexander?” Magnus asks blearily, shaking his head a little to keep himself steady.

Alec reaches forward to grab Magnus, one hand going for his shoulder and the other coming to cradle his face. “Let’s get you home. How about I drive, and you have a nap on the way back?” Alec tilts his head in concern. Magnus just nods, brain zoning in on the word “nap,” and the two of them quickly say goodbye to the people left in the venue before they’re making their way to the exit.

By some miracle, Magnus manages to make it back to the car, the exhaustion hitting him hard as he slides into the passenger’s seat and buckles up. His eyes are already fluttering shut by the time Alec is seated in the driver’s seat and turning on the ignition.

The next thing Magnus registers is cold wind hitting him from his side, opening his eyes to find Alec looking at him fondly as he jostles Magnus to wake up.

“Look, from the library to the bedroom is already pushing it, but I don’t think I can carry you to your apartment,” Alec laughs, eyes crinkling. Magnus groans groggily as he gets his bearings, and he nods slowly before using a burst of energy from the short nap to get himself out of the car. Even as they walk, Alec keeps a hold on Magnus, half-supporting him as they make their way up to Magnus’ apartment.

Magnus is a little more awake by the time they enter the apartment, and he manages to stand up properly without Alec holding onto him. He digs his phone out of his pocket to check the time, eyes widening when he realises it’s 2.57am.

“Wow, it’s late,” Magnus observes as he rubs his eyes tiredly. The smudges of black on left-over on his fingertips from the action are a startling reminder that Magnus has to go through the exhausting process of getting ready for bed, and wiping off his makeup. He’s definitely going to regret it tomorrow morning (or more like later today) if he just hops straight into bed now, even though he definitely wants to.

“You’re not wrong there,” Alec replies as he shrugs off his suit jacket and slings it over his forearm, leaving him only in a dress shirt and the tie. He walks forward to grab Magnus’ hand loosely, bringing the two of them over to the bathroom.

“Brush your teeth,” Alec instructs, though his voice is soft. “Trust me, you’ll thank me tomorrow.”

Whilst Magnus doesn’t doubt that, he still feels an all-consuming laziness at the thought of even doing so. But Alec himself chucks his suit jacket somewhere (Magnus winces at that) and grabs his toothbrush, so Magnus just huffs a little before he goes about brushing his teeth as quickly as he can. They stand in silence for a moment, and Magnus sees the domestic scene reflected back at him through the mirror. The sight makes him feel giddy.

His makeup, now that he can appraise it in the mirror, actually doesn’t look too bad, considering how long he’s been wearing it, and once he’s done brushing his teeth, he makes a motion to open the top drawer to get some makeup wipes out

“You know what?” Alec’s words stop Magnus from reaching out to open the drawer. “Let me.” Alec reaches forward, as if he has some higher purpose other than attempting to remove his boyfriend’s makeup at 3am. Getting the makeup wipes out, Alec grabs Magnus’ shoulders to turn him until they’re properly facing each other, a lazy smile on Alec’s face.

“Close your eyes,” Alec mumbles, and Magnus easily obliges.

Alec is quick yet thorough, taking great care in not rubbing too hard, but also getting everything off pretty quickly. It seems like such a random skill to have, but it makes Magnus giggle nonetheless. Maybe the alcohol has something to do with it.

“You’re very good at this, Alexander,” Magnus compliments when Alec is done. He turns to the mirror and finds himself completely bare-faced. 

“Well, when you have a sister like Izzy, who also has this whole thing against sleeping in makeup and is a lazy ass, you have to learn,” Alec explains in response, humming in satisfaction as he dumps the used wipes in the bin. With that, he grabs Magnus’ hand again, guiding the two of them until they make it to the bedroom. He seats Magnus on the bed, and slowly begins to undress Magnus.

There’s no ulterior motive or sexual intent behind it. Alec just quickly and purposefully removes all of Magnus’ clothing until he’s in his boxers alone. His touch is sweet and gentle, lulling Magnus into drowsiness as he brings Magnus to settle under the covers of the bed. Magnus settles his head properly on the pillow, getting comfortable under the blankets as he hears the shuffling sounds of Alec removing his own clothing, and a moment later, Alec turns the light off as he slips into bed himself, shrouding the bedroom in darkness.

“Today was epic,” Alec whispers hoarsely, not for the first time today. Magnus is happy to hear this, especially considering how, usually, Alec is quite disinterested in the world of fashion.

“I’m glad. That was kind-of the point,” Magnus’ words shock a quiet chuckle from Alec across from him. As Magnus’ vision adjusts to the darkness, he spots the outline of Alec looking back at him, notes the glimmer of moonlight reflected in his eyes.

“You achieved your dream,” Alec repeats, and is that a grin lighting up his face? Magnus beams back, so swept up in how genuinely excited Alec is on his behalf.

“Yeah,” Magnus speaks, as if there’s something unfinished, unspoken, to it. When Alec doesn’t say anything else, Magnus finds himself opening his mouth to talk again, grin dropping away a little. “You know, when I was up on the stage at first, I almost froze.”

“No way. Magnus Bane, getting stage fright?” Alec’s voice is teasing despite the low volume, and yet Magnus can hear the underlying curiosity in Alec’s tone.

“It was weird. It was all very overwhelming and… underwhelming, at the same time? It only lasted for a split second. And then… I saw you, and it was like everything just fell into place,” Magnus mumbles, stopping and starting, not really knowing how to properly articulate what he means.

But Alec nods, like he understands.

“I think… you’re not wrong. Today, despite all the stress, was a dream come true. A career goal that I’ve set for a while now, that I finally achieved,” Magnus explains quietly.

“But I also think, that in that moment, it finally dawned on me that… I don’t know. Before I met you, work, and this launch, had been the most important thing to me. But now…” Magnus trails off, trying to find the words. The exhaustion is making it hard for him to keep going, but he feels like he’s almost reached the point he’s been trying to make.

Alec’s brow furrows. “Now, what?” Alec asks gently after a long moment.

Magnus expels a breath, as everything swirling around in his head seems to settle, and allows him to focus.

“You, Alexander. You’re the most important thing to me, now. And when I saw you, from that stage, it made me realise that… this whole dream, of launching this line and doing this show,” Magnus clears his throat. “It… doesn’t hold a candle compared to the dream that I get to live every day, being with you.”

Alec’s shallow gasp alerts Magnus to the cheesiness of the line he’s just delivered. But Magnus is being 100% serious.

In that moment, standing there, with the flashing lights and jostling people, when Magnus had expected a torrent of emotion to sweep through him, instead, something else had clicked. This deep, profound realisation, that this would not be possible without Alec. That this whole dream is significant, important, amazing, but also so small in comparison to the joy Magnus feels with someone like Alexander Lightwood in his life.

“You really are a sap,” Alec’s voice is warm, affectionate even as a whisper. “And just to let you know, the feeling is mutual.”

“I’d like to think so,” Magnus’ words are meant to sound teasing, to offset the raw emotion of his previous words, but instead, they come out sounding a little small, maybe even meek.

Alec picks up on it immediately, and he leans forward to place a soft lingering kiss on Magnus’ lips. Magnus’ eyes flutter shut at the feeling of soft lips on his own, and he doesn’t reopen them when Alec moves away.

“I love you, you sap. I always will,” Alec whispers sincerely, and it sounds loud, unashamed, and so confident, even as he speaks so softly.

“I love you too,” Magnus replies.

And with the reassuring comfort of Alec always being right next to him, loving him now and in the future, Magnus finds himself drifting off to sleep with a lazy smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll save all the sappy stuff for the epilogue, but the ride is almost over fam! I wonder if anyone can guess what the epilogue is going to be about?
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots of love <3  
> PS. Come say hi on twitter if you want! - [@onalonaa](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) <3


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec Lightwood is publishing his first ever book. He has his siblings, he has his friends, and he has found new meaning to the term "work." And he has a dream, a dream that he's finally about to achieve, with the most supportive source of inspiration by his side in the form of Magnus Bane.
> 
> Magnus Bane is a well-renowned fashion designer. He has his friends, he has his books, and he has his work. And he's continuing to live the dream in not only his work life, but in his personal life, standing by in preparation for his boyfriend, Alec Lightwood's, first book launch.
> 
> And now, the place where they first had their chance encounter all those years ago, is about to become so much more, in just another chapter of their own epic love story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say... y'all are good guessers...

In all the time that Magnus and Alec have been together, over the course of many visits, and even from the very first time they met, Magnus has never seen Elderwood this busy before.

The middle shelves and main counter have been cleared away in favour of a little podium set-up with lots of chairs in front of it. Many people fill those chairs now, whether it be friends, family, as well as some Elderwood regulars. People are chattering quietly, the store warmed by the bright summer sunlight streaming through the large windows up front. Despite the crowd, the atmosphere is calming, with a general undercurrent of curiosity and excitement of many.

Of course, there’s no mystery here for Magnus. He always knew, from the very start, that this day would come.

Never once had he doubted, even when Alec had. Of course, the journey to get here has not been easy.

It had taken a while for Alec to properly warm to the idea of publishing, a slow but steady process, but Magnus had never stopped supporting him through it all. Magnus recalls with fondness the day that Alec had come up to him, hazel eyes open and hesitant. The day Alec had told him he wanted to give it a shot.

_Let’s do this._

And it’s always been the case. Let’s. As in, let us. _Us._ Alec working towards this new dream, with Magnus always there, being there in case Alec has needed a shoulder to cry on, or an arm to support him.

Following that, of course, came the rejection, considering that it is inevitable in these sorts of things. And sometimes, the rejection hadn’t immediately been obvious. There would be initial hesitant acceptance, before one person would make one revision, or someone would try and change the whole plot of the story. But in both Alec and Magnus’ eyes, that was a whole different type of rejection.

Alec had almost hit the roof when one publishing company had pushed for him to make the story a straight romance instead of a gay one. He’d immediately left after that.

But here they are, and suddenly, it dawns on Magnus that this is _actually happening._ After some push-back, they’d finally found a publishing company not only willing to share Alec’s voice, but were genuinely excited at the great leaps in representation his story conveyed. Even now, Magnus is immensely grateful for Lydia’s suggestion to check out _Downworld Publishing._

Thank the Angel for Lydia. She's been Magnus' saving grace even more so since BANE's first official launch. She's probably the only reason that Magnus' brand has been doing so well, with her expert managerial skills. He has another show coming up soon, as well as some meetings with a couple of celebrities, and Magnus knows it's all because of her.

And so, it's no surprise to Magnus that Lydia's suggestion for the publishing company is what saved both their asses, and Magnus makes a mental note to thank her again later.

Even now, both Alec and Magnus also know that Alec has been extremely lucky. Majority of those who try to get published never get accepted by any publishing company no matter how hard they try. It hadn’t always been smooth sailing, but the fact that this whole event is even happening is just supporting what Magnus has known all along - that Alec Lightwood is a writer, down to his very bones and his very soul.

Magnus closes his eyes. He can still remember the day that Alec had gotten the letter, and how they’d opened it together. The wide-eyed look of immense shock on Alec’s face. The scream of joy that left Magnus’ lips. The desperate way they had clutched onto each other in pure amazement.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you Magnus, thank you,” Alec had mumbled at the time into Magnus’ shoulder.

To this day, Magnus doesn’t really understand what Alec had been thanking him for. Alec hadn’t been able to say anything else except that, speaking it like some sort of trance-like oath.

“You’re not falling asleep now, are you?” a voice jolts Magnus from his memory, his eyes opening to find Clary glancing at him in amusement.

Magnus smiles down at her, shaking his head. “Of course not, Biscuit.”

Clary frowns, her arms crossing in a caricature of irritation. “Magnus, the biscuit incident was literally _ages ago._ When are you going to let it go?” Clary asks, and though it seems like she’s trying to sound annoyed, Magnus laughs in response.

“No one’s letting it go any time soon, Biscuit,” Magnus winks. Clary shakes her head in an attempt to look pissed, but there’s a hint of a smile on her face.

“Clarissa, I seriously believe the biscuit incident will forever remain legendary,” Ragnor’s voice from behind Clary and Magnus grabs their attention, and they both turn their heads to find Ragnor and Simon smiling at them. Magnus rolls his eyes. Usually, nothing can stop Ragnor and Simon from discussing every single nerdy topic possibly available to them.

“He’s not wrong,” Simon adds, pushing his glasses up his nose, his wedding ring twinkling in the sunlight as he does so.

“Did I hear someone mention the biscuit incident?” Jace’s voice from Clary’s other side diverts Magnus’ attention. Clary whacks him on the side in response to that, but Jace laughs it off, practically cackling in his chair.

Maia is sitting with them too, sitting on Magnus’ other side. She left her job at Elderwood last year after finishing her studies, but it honestly feels like she never left. She’s become good friends with everyone over the years, and to this day, Magnus still cracks up at how she always jokingly elevates herself as the facilitator of his relationship with Alec.

But she had not been present during the biscuit incident, unlike literally everyone else.

“What’s the biscuit incident?” she asks, already laughing at the reactions of everyone else.

Everyone jumps to explain whilst Magnus just sits back and listens.

The biscuit incident is a story intrinsically linked to when Alec had moved into Magnus’ apartment, and the anecdote always makes Magnus feel deeply moved as well as highly entertained.

To celebrate Alec and Magnus moving in together, everyone had come over to the house for a house-warming party of sorts. Clary had attempted to bake biscuits in Magnus’ - _Magnus and Alec’s_ \- kitchen, but she had somehow managed to set off the apartment’s fire alarm instead. To this day, she blames Chairman Meow for dashing in and scaring her, but no one likes to give her the benefit of the doubt.

To conclude, one of the best days of Magnus’ life had ended with a very stern lecture from a couple of firefighters to the group of them. They were lucky that the special occasion had been reason enough for the firefighters to be lenient on fining them. And so, the celebration of Alec and Magnus moving in together definitely ended up being entertaining as hell, despite how unconventional it had all been.

But that honestly doesn't surprise Magnus at this point. He and Alec, in their relationship, have always been a little unconventional. And Magnus wouldn't have it any other way.

By the end of the story, everyone is cackling in their seats from the memory. Everyone except Clary, who sits in her seat with a pout emphasised on her face. She opens her mouth as if she’s about to argue, before a general hush settles around them. Magnus turns his head back to the front, just in time to spot Alec make his way to the front.

All other things fly out of Magnus’ head as he looks up at his boyfriend, who has a shy earnest smile adorning his face as he stands behind the small podium at the front.

Hazel eyes wide in what Magnus interprets as disbelief, Alec clears his throat as everyone quietens down properly. He looks like a vision, with his navy sweater and his flushed cheeks. Alec had emphasised numerous times about how he wanted the launch to be casual, comfortable, and not some stuffy formal affair. Magnus reckons that he's succeeded on this front.

Their gazes connect, and Magnus shoots what he hopes is a reassuring smile in Alec's direction. It seems to work, judging by how the tightness in Alec's posture seems to relax a little in response.

“Hey, everyone,” Alec begins, sounding a little nervous. Magnus can't help but feel seriously proud that he's doing this. Being the centre of attention is something Alec has never been a fan of. He knows that the Alec who Magnus had first met all those years ago would have felt too shy and would not have had the courage to do something like this now. He's come so far.

“I'm Alec Lightwood, and I'm so incredibly grateful to all of you for coming out today to join me as I launch my first ever book,” Alec rambles, as if he still seriously can't believe it. Magnus can't help but wonder if he ever will truly understand how much he deserves this.

“I know you guys aren't here to listen to me drone on, so I'll keep it brief,” Alec chuckles. “I've always been interested in the idea of writing, but for a long time, it was hard to find inspiration.”

Whilst Alec's gaze has been roving around the small group of people as he has been speaking, his eyes lock onto Magnus’ face as he says the next bit, focus never wavering.

“But one day, I met a pretty incredible person who did just that. Inspire me. So I guess you could call this story nothing more than a glorified love letter.”

A few “oohs” and “awws” echo around the store, as well as an undercurrent of rumbling laughter, and Magnus beams at the sincere expression Alec sends to him. It's still the biggest compliment to Magnus, even now. That Alec found inspiration in Magnus, his feelings for Magnus and their subsequent relationship.

“Growing up, it was always difficult to try and identify with most of the stories I would read. I know that this is only one story out of millions, but if the representation in it can help even just one person, it's all worth it,” Alec continues, words authentic and raw, and the tone of it makes Magnus’ heart sing in his chest. Sparing a moment, Magnus glances around to find everyone in the audience equally enraptured and moved by Alec's words.

“I bet one thing you're all wondering right now is what the title of the book is. And what the book looks like,” Alec prompts, and a few heads begin nodding along at the statement. Even Magnus and the others have no clue what Alec has decided. For some reason Magnus can't pinpoint, Alec had kept the name of the book under lock-and-key, as well as the cover for the book. The only people who know the name and the cover of it are the staff from _Downworld Publishing_ and Alec himself.

Magnus has to hand it to Alec. When he's stubborn enough to keep something a secret, he won't budge, no matter what. Every time Magnus, or anyone else, would try and pry some details from him, Alec would just smile and shake his head. Something about keeping it a surprise.

But now, there's a small easel with a small cloth over what Magnus assumes is the poster with the book cover on it.

 _For someone trying to keep it casual, there's a certain dramatic flair to that,_ Magnus thinks to himself with fondness and amusement.

As if reading his mind, Catarina leans forward and whispers in Magnus’ ear, “Looks like your flair for dramatics is rubbing off on him.”

Magnus blushes slightly at the remark, as he thinks a little haughtily to himself that it looks like it has. And Magnus can't help but hope that some part of Alec, who is just genuinely such an amazing person, has rubbed off on him.

Taking measured slow steps, Alec walks away from the podium and, after a beat, takes the cover off of the easel.

Magnus’ eyes widen.

The cover of the book on the poster is gorgeous. The background is a beautiful wash of blues, as if trying to capture the depth of the clear night sky. It's offset by the small silhouette at the bottom, looking as if it is in motion. A silhouette in gold.

The words _The First Step_ are a stark white, shining out against the blue background and above the gold figure.

And, to Magnus, there's the most important thing - Alec's name written right at the bottom.

Magnus’ eyes travel to Alec, who has a small smirk on his face as he moves back to the podium. Alec looks back at him, shooting a sheepish smile down at Magnus with a hint of pink colouring his cheeks.

Everyone else, Magnus knows without a doubt, is focused on the cover that's just been revealed. And Magnus does have to admit, it looks awesome. The words _the first step_ swirl in Magnus’ head, almost as if they're coming alive.

And yet, Magnus still finds himself far more enraptured with the look of pure love Alec is sending to him now.

In this space of a breath, where everyone is focused on the easel except Magnus and Alec, it's almost as if they transcend where they really are. In this moment, they no longer are in a small store full of people. They could be anywhere, in all honesty.

No, in this flash of a lifetime, it's just the two of them, alone, looking at each other across the few steps that feel like miles of distance.

In this moment, nothing else matters to Magnus as love fills his heart and pride blooms in his chest. All he can see is Alec.

Just Alec.

***

Alec shakes his head gently to himself. He seriously can't help it. It's been years, and he still gets utterly entranced whenever Magnus looks at him like that. Like Alec’s the only thing in the world that matters.

“A wise man once gave me some advice that has stuck with me to this day, and I’m so thankful for it. It’s the idea of taking small steps to achieve a goal,” Alec continues after a moment where everyone has had a chance to look at the book cover. Magnus smirks fondly back at him upon hearing that, and Alec spies a couple of the others nudging him playfully at Alec's remark. Something about it all makes Alec’s heartbeat stutter in his chest.

“I needed that advice on the long journey of learning to love this story, to love myself, and to get through the process of publishing,” Alec admits, glancing expectantly around at the crowd.

Alec is incredibly thankful that he's able to do this book launch in the comfort of his own store. Almost everyone in the crowd is a familiar face, whether it be due to personal connection or due to their regularity in visits to Elderwood. It allows Alec to relax a little, be a little more honest and candid, which is what he's been trying to achieve.

Alec hopes his nerves aren't that obvious to anyone, especially to Magnus.

“So, in the story, it’s about someone learning to take the first step in this new life out of the closet. All the emotions and experiences behind your first true love,” Alec already knows he can’t fool himself. The only reason, to this day, that he believes his descriptions of such feelings are so visceral, enough to move people, enough for people to consider publishing it, is because Alec is doing nothing more than describing his own experiences on this journey he was set on from the day all those years ago, when he happened to glance outside and notice the gorgeous glittery man on the street.

“But it’s also a first step for me. This whole process, of publishing this. It’s been hard, it’s been draining, but it’s all worth it, standing here and now,” Alec beams at the small group of people before him, and he finds that he really does mean his words, 100% believes in them. A few people nod along to that, and Alec is surprised to find no one is distracted. They’re all hanging onto his every word. The thought is reassuring.

“So, I hope that you all enjoy reading it just as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it,” Alec finishes with a giant toothy grin plastered to his face. He eyes the main group at the front, as the room erupts in applause.

There’s Cat and Ragnor, smiling brightly, and Cat looks like she’s on the verge of tears. Raphael has that half-smirk on his face, and he’s nodding his head as he claps. Clary is grinning, gaze switching between the cover on the easel and Alec. Alec likes to hope that means that the designated artistic person in their group approves of the cover. Simon’s grin is blinding, and he even shouts out a little “woo!” as he continues to clap. Alec’s not surprised. Simon is always so fucking supportive. He’s glad to have the man as his brother-in-law. Jace looks equally impressed, something Alec is really happy to see. A book launch in a second-hand bookstore is not exactly Jace’s scene, but Alec is glad to see his brother look so genuinely impressed. And Izzy has already lost her battle, a couple of stray tears roaming down her face as she claps excitedly, beaming up at him.

And Magnus? Magnus is just smirking knowingly up at him, clapping loudly. He’s the one who has supported him from the very start, back when even Alec couldn’t even support himself. There’s no surprise in his expression, just another testament to his utter conviction in Alec’s ability, in Alec reaching this point. His eyes seem to glimmer as the sunlight hits them, specks of gold shining in what Alec interprets as love and joy and awe.

The choice for the gold colour of the figure on the book cover had _not been a coincidence._

Afterwards, a couple of general questions are asked, which Alec answers pretty easily. And afterwards, the small podium is cleared away and a small desk and chair are set in its place. On the desk is a small stack of books, and Alec can't help the disbelief that shakes him when he sees that all the books in the stack are all copies of _his book._

He spares a thought to laugh at the fact that this is the first time that a _new_ book is actually on premises at a place like Elderwood.

Even now, the thought hasn't really hit home. That this story, this passion project for him for so long, is now a real life book, for people to buy and to read and to share. And here he is, sharing this monumental occasion with so many people he's come to love.

After he had first been kicked out, Alec had thought the chance for a family had been over. And yet now, here he is, seated in his chair and spying a family that has only grown over the years.

 _Family._ The word lingers in the corners of Alec’s mind as his gaze refocuses on Magnus, making his palms a tad sweaty. He rubs his hands on his pants and takes a couple of deep breaths as one of the workers from _Downworld Publishing_ announces that everyone can come to get a book now.

The motions of greeting someone, signing the book and handing it over with a thank-you quickly distract Alec. He's not surprised to find his family waiting until everyone else has gotten a book first, before they all line up to get their own copies.

Everyone is really sweet, whispering encouraging words and teasing sentiments as they all come to get a book. Even just seeing all of them come to hold his book is such a startling sight, and it's honestly crazy to Alec that this is happening right now. It almost feels like a dream.

And because he's Magnus Bane, and because he's too kind for his own good, Alec isn't surprised to find Magnus as the last person in the line. It works into Alec's plan perfectly. When Magnus comes up to the table, with everyone else already holding and reading their copies, Alec sticks a hand out to stop Magnus from grabbing the last copy of the book on the table for himself. Alec hopes the action doesn't warrant much suspicion, but judging from Magnus’ bewildered expression, Alec reckons he’s probably not acting too subtle.

“Actually, I'm going to give you your copy later,” Alec tries to explain. Magnus just arches an eyebrow in response, and Alec wills his voice to sound steady. “Please? I want to give you your copy in private.”

Magnus’ expression softens, and his lips turn upward as he braces his hands on the table and leans forward until they're almost touching across the desk. “Do I really warrant that kind-of special treatment?” Magnus asks, voice low enough so that only Alec can hear him.

There's nothing but honest sincerity in his voice when Alec immediately replies with, “Of course you do. You’re my inspiration, Magnus.”

Magnus’ face lights up at the words, and he's so fucking adorable that Alec just wants to close the distance and kiss the man senseless. Funny how Magnus still has that effect on him, to this day. The sight of the gorgeous man has struck him breathless from when he’d first seen him from the Elderwood counter, but knowing the man is somehow even more beautiful inside just sends his head spinning, and his heart reeling.

But instead, someone comes up to Alec and whispers that Alec should do a quick wrap-up. Alec stands up in a rush, because the last thing he wants to do is let people leave without him voicing his gratitude. Magnus moves a little further back, and Alec quickly and quietly thanks everyone for coming to the event. He also conveys his gratitude to those from _Downworld Publishing_ for making this possible, and finishes with a giant smile to another round of appreciative applause.

He admits that he’s a little rushed, but the more the time rolls by, the more nervous Alec grows. So, he tries to distract himself from his nerves by mingling with everyone.

The Elderwood regulars are the first people to trickle off and leave, and the workers from _Downworld Publishing_ leave soon after. It basically leaves Alec with all of this ragtag family of his, all of them laughing and chatting and enjoying each other’s company. Stories are exchanged, jokes are traded, and it feels like Alec is on the precipice of heaven as he soaks in the glorious summer afternoon with all these people he’s come to love so dearly.

Magnus makes many jabs throughout the afternoon, whining about wanting his own copy. Luckily, everyone else is pretty quick in diverting his attention. Isabelle’s shit-eating grin as she reprimands Magnus for being greedy makes Alec fear for anything being revealed, but Magnus seems to be pouting too much to properly notice or ask about anything.

“You’ve already read the entire thing. Multiple times. You just want to feed your ego,” Raphael finally comments with an irritated scowl. _That_ comment finally gets Magnus to shut-up.

Discreetly, Alec shoots a grateful smile to Raphael. In response, he sends Alec a wink and a thumbs-up.

Under the pretense of being a good host, Alec asks Magnus if it’s okay that they stay in Elderwood until everyone else has cleared out, and he can give him his book. Magnus makes a joking grumbling sound, but ultimately nods his head with a smile when he notes the worry in Alec’s gaze.

If the circumstances were different, Alec knows that everyone would probably hang out here until late into the night. But everyone except Magnus already knows what’s going on, and slowly but surely, they all say their goodbyes and leave the store. They all shoot knowing glances and subtle nods of encouragement to Alec as they all leave, but it does little to abate the nerves that continue to build within Alec as more and more people say goodbye.

Izzy and Simon are the last people to leave, shooting giant unrestrained grins in their direction. Alec wants to groan. Those two really don’t know how to be subtle. With a giant wink, Izzy stage-whispers, “Good luck.” And with that, the two of them leave the store.

Elderwood had been closed for the book launch, and now, it’s just Magnus and Alec left inside. When Izzy and Simon have walked beyond the view of the large windows up front, Magnus whips around, brow adorably furrowed. “Good luck? For what?” he asks.

Alec is beyond grateful to hear no suspicion in Magnus’ tone, but genuine confusion. In response, Alec shrugs. He hopes it looks genuine. “I don’t know. I don’t really get Izzy sometimes,” Alec lies. He knows _exactly_ what Izzy had been referring to.

But it seems to work, because Magnus just shrugs in return. He stalks forward, head tipping up a little, and he leans forward to press a soft yet insistent kiss to Alec’s lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that from the moment this whole thing started,” Magnus admits when he pulls away. “I’m so proud of you.”

“You were the one who always believed this would happen,” Alec says as he wraps his arms around Magnus’ middle, tugging him close. Even after all this time, having Magnus so close makes Alec feel almost intoxicated with want and love. It’s always a little startling, as if he’s constantly craving the contact.

Magnus doesn’t seem to be complaining as he reaches up to lock his hands around Alec’s neck. “And I was right. You did it,” Magnus chuckles, eyes crinkling. Alec feels as if he’s falling even deeper in love at the sight, combined with those sincere supportive words, rich in conviction.

He’s struck with the thought that he’ll never stop falling deeper and deeper in love with Magnus Bane.

Struck speechless at such a thought, Alec just nods dumbly. The thought unlocks something within him, and suddenly, all his nerves seem to dissipate. In its place grows a dizzying sense of euphoria and excitement. He already knows he’s grinning like a total idiot as he nods back at Magnus.

Alec extricates himself from the embrace, and instead walks back up to the table. That single copy is left on the table. Alec quickly flips open the front to check it's the right copy, before nodding to himself and grabbing. He turns around to find Magnus gazing up at him expectantly.

“Thank you, Magnus. For your unwavering faith in me, through all of this,” Alec begins, gesturing with his free hand around the space they're in as he comes closer.

Magnus beams up at Alec with the fondest of expressions upon hearing those words. Not for the first time, a sense of gratitude rocks Alec on the spot, and he sends an internal brazen prayer to the universe of thankfulness in this moment that he's with Magnus, that he's going to -

“No need to thank me, Alexander,” Magnus whispers, coming a little closer. Now, the two of them are in the centre of the store, the shelves and counter still cleared away. _It’s actually quite spacious like this_ , Alec thinks distantly to himself.

“But I still will. And thank you, for always supporting and inspiring me. _You_ are why all this is possible. From the moment I met you, you’ve changed my world and my life for the better,” Alec continues, keeping his gaze firmly trained on his boyfriend’s face. Magnus peers curiously up at Alec. Surely, the weight behind Alec’s words must indicate _something_ to him.

But then Magnus just hums, nodding with a small smile on his face. “You’re giving me too much credit, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles. Alec shakes his head firmly at that.

“No, I’m not,” Alec sighs. With that, he holds the book, cover facing upward, up to Magnus, effectively stopping any retort from him. “Anyways, here’s my book recommendation for you this time around.

Magnus tilts his head to the side, but he smirks fondly and nonetheless grabs the book without a word. He turns it over in his hands, taking his time in properly examining the cover. When Magnus opens the cover to look at the front, Alec quietly urges him to read the message already in it.

As Magnus speaks, distracted with the book in his hands, Alec slowly and quietly walks around him, until he’s facing Magnus’ back.

“To my muse,” Magnus chuckles quietly as he reads aloud. “Thank you for always believing in me, supporting me, and inspiring me to take the first step as an author. Without your love, your encouragement and your help, this wouldn’t have been possible.”

In an attempt to not alert Magnus to any movement, Alec slowly stoops down until he’s kneeling down on one knee. He’s still looking up at Magnus’ back, and the man seems so engrossed with the words he’s reading that he doesn’t notice Alec’s position at all.

“This story is nothing more than a representation of just a fraction of the love I have for you,” Magnus sounds a little teary at that. Alec himself is fighting to keep his eyes dry. “You’ve changed my world. So, Magnus Bane, I wonder if you’re up for something. I wonder if you’re ready to take the first step to the rest of our lives together.”

Reaching into his pocket, Alec pulls out the small sleek ring box. There’s a giddy smile on his face as Magnus reads out the last sentence out-loud.

“So, Magnus Bane, will you marry me?” Magnus’ mouth seems to work faster than his brain, because he reads out the words, and it takes a beat for him to properly react. There’s a shallow gasp from above before Magnus slowly spins on the spot. Alec keeps his position, on one knee and holding the ring box in his hands, until Magnus is properly facing him.

Magnus’ face is an open-book, showing his absolute shock and amazement. If the launch hadn’t been a surprise to Magnus, this definitely had. Upon seeing the expression, Alec’s smile grows impossibly wider as he pops open the box.

“So, Magnus Bane, will you marry me?” Alec repeats, voice soft and tender, with tears already forming in his eyes as he sees Magnus’ expression morph from surprise to pure joy, in the form of the largest grin on Magnus’ face. His golden-brown eyes are shiny as he nods rapidly.

“Yes,” Magnus sputters out after a moment, as if this is the only possible answer, and he practically collapses forward until he too is kneeling, right in front of Alec. They’re so close, kneeling together on the floor of Elderwood, as Magnus keeps on mumbling “yes.” With that, Alec quickly slips the ring onto Magnus’ finger.

Seeing the ring on Magnus’ manicured hand makes everything else fly out of Alec’s head as he soaks in the knowledge that _Magnus said yes,_ and he crashes forward, practically attacking Magnus with a searing kiss. Quickly, the man recuperates, kissing Alec back just as hard, making Alec feel dizzy with pure emotion and sensation.

 _We’re going to get married,_ Alec thinks to himself as he pulls back, only to tug Magnus forward in a crushing hug. Magnus squeezes him back so tightly, almost as if he’s afraid that Alec will disappear if he doesn’t hold on tight enough.

That’s definitely not the case though. Alec’s not going anywhere.

Alec finds a really nice symmetry in the fact that Elderwood was the place where Magnus and Alec first saw each other and was the place where they first properly met. And now, it’s the place where they got engaged.

 _Holy shit, we’re engaged,_ Alec thinks to himself in bewilderment as the two of them finally pull back from their hug enough to look at each other in the eye. Magnus’ face still conveys his disbelief, but there’s an overwhelming euphoric joy in his voice as he speaks.

“Funny. This is the place where we first met. And now, it’s the place where we got engaged,” Magnus sighs.

“You literally read my mind,” Alec laughs. Only now does he notice the stray tears falling down Magnus’ face, and it alerts Alec of his own tears threatening to spill out. Something deep within him urges him to lean forward, and Alec softly kisses the tears away as he hears Magnus sniff.

“I love you so much, Alexander” Magnus whispers when Alec pulls his head back.

“I love you too, Magnus” Alec replies. There’s no truth that is more absolute than that, in Alec’s mind.

In this moment, it’s as if the rest of the world melts away. All that matters is Magnus Bane, his beautiful boyfriend - _fiancé_ \- looking at Alec with nothing but pure love and happiness shining through in those entrancing eyes of his. Alec still tastes salt on his lips from Magnus’ tears, can only hear Magnus’ deep shaking breaths, breathes in that distinctive scent of sandalwood, and only sees those golden specks of light shining back at him. It’s like Magnus is practically surrounding him.

And in this moment, nothing else matters except the incredible man in front of him, the man Alec is going to spend the rest of his life with. Nothing else matters except Magnus.

Only Magnus.

* * *

_“True love is strange, like that. It’s the sort of thing that belies your every action, somehow transforms every aspect of you for the better. But true love is amazing like that, too. It’s our world’s version of magic, in all honesty. It’s a startling reassurance - that suddenly, you aren’t so alone anymore. And that, more than anything, is what makes true love possibly the greatest thing in the world.”_

**_**_-  Alec Lightwood, from the New York Times Bestseller "The First Step"_  ** _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! It's done! I actually cannot believe it, but it's over (highkey am probably going to come back to this AU at some point, but the main story is basically over!) Alec published his book (which became a New York Times Bestseller bc why not), and Malec are engaged! Of course, y'all knew I would end this on a super cheesy, sappy, fluffy bang ;)
> 
> Thank you all so much for being a part of this experience! Writing has always been a passion of mine, but I've never felt inspired to finish more than a couple of chapters for myself. Malec is my OTP by far, and writing about them over the past few months has been so invigorating and fun.
> 
> In March, I made the crazy decision to put the prologue for this up online. At the time, I hadn't expected anyone to really check it out. There are so many Malec fics out there, so what would make this one do that well? I wrote it for myself, to imagine a super fluffy universe with a story I really liked with characters I love. And yet, so many of you have read, left a kudos, wrote a comment, subscribed or bookmarked, and it honestly makes me so happy to see people actually enjoying what I've written. You guys are awesome, and I love every single one of you so much.
> 
> Thank you for being a part of this journey. I know I'm acting really dramatic and sappy right now over a fic ending (but by now, what else would you expect?), but I really am seriously moved. Writing this story has been such an anchor for me over the past six months, with so many different things going on, and hearing your encouragement has just spurred me even further!
> 
> I'm already thinking of another story idea, so if you're interested, keep an eye out!
> 
> TL, DR: Y'all are lit, so thank you for always being there for me! <3 Keep an eye out for another story if you want.
> 
> Since I had no beta, I'm now going to re-read the entire thing and make necessary edits so YEET 
> 
> Alright, so I guess all that's left to say is... thank you so so much for taking the time to read! Any kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Lots and lots and lots of love from Lio, your friendly neighbourhood Malec sap <3 <3 <3  
> PS: Come say hi on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/onalonaa) and on instagram (where I make crusty edits) [here](https://www.instagram.com/onalonaa/) if you want <3


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